Silent treatment is the refusal to communicate verbally and electronically with someone who is trying to communicate and elicit a response. It may range from just sulking to malevolent abusive

controlling behaviour Control may refer to: Basic meanings Economics and business * Control (management), an element of management * Control, an element of management accounting * Comptroller (or controller), a senior financial officer in an organization * Controll ...

. It may be a

passive-aggressive Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by a pattern of passive hostility and an avoidance of direct communication. Inaction where some action is socially customary is a typical passive-aggressive strategy (showing up late for functions, st ...

form of

emotional abuse Emotions are mental states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioral responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure. There is currently no scientific consensus on a definition. ...

in which displeasure, disapproval and

contempt Contempt is a pattern of attitudes and behaviour, often towards an individual or a group, but sometimes towards an ideology, which has the characteristics of disgust and anger. The word originated in 1393 in Old French contempt, contemps, ...

is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative

punishment Punishment, commonly, is the imposition of an undesirable or unpleasant outcome upon a group or individual, meted out by an authority—in contexts ranging from child discipline to criminal law—as a response and deterrent to a particular a ...

. It may be used as a form of

social rejection Social rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interaction. The topic includes ''interpersonal rejection'' (or peer rejection), ''romantic rejection'' and ''familial estrangement''. A per ...

; according to the social psychologist Kipling Williams it is the most common form of

ostracism Ostracism ( el, ὀστρακισμός, ''ostrakismos'') was an Athenian democracy, Athenian democratic procedure in which any citizen could be exile, expelled from the city-state of Athens for ten years. While some instances clearly expressed ...

Origin of term

The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835, the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn't see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes.

In interpersonal relationships

In a relationship, the silent treatment can be a difficult pattern to break and resolve because if it is ingrained, relationships may gradually deteriorate. The silent treatment is more likely to be used by individuals with low self-esteem and a low tolerance for conflict. In order to avoid conflict, an individual will refuse to acknowledge it and will sometimes use silent treatment as a control mechanism. Enactors of the silent treatment punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the enactors "loudly" communicate their displeasure,

anger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, suc ...

, upset and

frustration In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition, related to anger, annoyance and disappointment. Frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of an individual's will or goal and is likely to incr ...

. The consequences of this behavior on the person at the receiving end by silence are feelings of alienation, confusion, incompetence, frustration, and self-worthlessness. These feelings can elicit a

maladaptive In evolution, a maladaptation () is a trait that is (or has become) more harmful than helpful, in contrast with an adaptation, which is more helpful than harmful. All organisms, from bacteria to humans, display maladaptive and adaptive traits. ...

response from victims with high

rejection sensitivity Social rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interaction. The topic includes ''interpersonal rejection'' (or peer rejection), ''romantic rejection'' and ''familial estrangement''. A pers ...

levels, which can often lead to violence and more physical displays of aggression. Purposeful silence is a form of

attention seeking Attention seeking behavior is to act in a way that is likely to elicit attention. Attention seeking behavior is defined in the DSM-5 as "engaging in behavior designed to attract notice and to make oneself the focus of others’ attention and admir ...

behavior and can generate desired responses, such as attention, or a feeling of power from creating uncertainty for the victim. Unfortunately, the avoidance of conflict in the form of silent treatment is psychologically exhausting for all involved parties and leads to the irreparable deterioration of meaningful romantic, and familial relationships.

In the workplace

Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute suggests that "using the silent treatment to ice out & separate from others" is the fourth most common of all

workplace bullying Workplace bullying is a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others in the workplace that causes either physical or emotional harm. It can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, and physical abuse, as well as humiliation ...

tactics experienced, and is reported in 64 percent of cases of workplace bullying. The silent treatment is a recognized form of

abusive supervision Abusive supervision is most commonly studied in the context of the workplace, although it can arise in other areas such as in the household and at school. "Abusive supervision has been investigated as an antecedent to negative subordinate workplace ...

. Other forms include: reminding the victim of past failures, failing to give proper credit, wrongfully assigning

blame Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, or making negative statements about an individual or group that their actions or inaction are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for ...

or blowing up in fits of temper.James Larsen Abusive Supervision Article No. 309 Business Practice Findings

Tactical ignoring

Silence and non-responsiveness are not only passive aggressive forms of manipulation and attention seeking; they can also be used as tools to promote changes in behavior. Tactical ignoring is a strategy where a person gives no outward sign of recognizing a behavior, such as no eye contact, no verbal or physical response, or acknowledgment that a message has been read. However, it is a very active process as the person remains acutely aware of the behavior and monitors the individual to observe what the individual has planned and ensure their safety or the safety of others. It is a technique that is often employed in parent-child relationships and is similar to the silent treatment because tactical ignoring is a behavioral management technique that, when correctly applied, can convey the message that a person's behavior will not lead to their desired outcome. It may also result in the reduction of undesirable behaviors. One of the principles of tactical ignoring is to analyze the behavior to see the message that is being communicated by the individual. This message, the need for attention or to gain a reaction, requires a response. The aim is to provide the person with positive and quality attention for displaying appropriate behaviors, or for not displaying the undesired behavior. When the person displays the undesired behavior in order to gain attention, the tactical ignoring strategy is to ignore the behavior. This strategy uses the same foundation as that underlying positive behavior support and

applied behavior analysis Applied behavior analysis (ABA), also called behavioral engineering, is a psychological intervention that applies empirical approaches based upon the principles of respondent and operant conditioning to change behavior of social significance. ...

in that positive behavior is encouraged with

reinforcement In behavioral psychology, reinforcement is a consequence applied that will strengthen an organism's future behavior whenever that behavior is preceded by a specific antecedent stimulus. This strengthening effect may be measured as a higher fr ...

, and unwanted behaviors are discouraged with

negative reinforcement In behavioral psychology, reinforcement is a consequence applied that will strengthen an organism's future behavior whenever that behavior is preceded by a specific antecedent stimulus. This strengthening effect may be measured as a higher fre ...

. The use of tactical ignoring is taught in

parent management training Parent management training (PMT), also known as behavioral parent training (BPT) or simply parent training, is a family of treatment programs that aims to change parenting behaviors, teaching parents positive reinforcement methods for improving pre ...

, but is also suitable for changing or shunning adult behavior. Tactical ignoring can be one element of a behavior management plan when there are a variety of challenging behaviors being addressed. Because it is a method that involves not responding to an undesirable behavior, it should be complemented by differential reinforcement for an alternative behavior, as seen in functional communication training, a procedure to teach a more appropriate attention-seeking behavior. Planned ignoring can be used for mild and low impact in terms of helping behavioral issues stemming from attention seeking and power struggles. Power struggles are when a child refuses to do something and it is an ongoing battle of insisting the child to comply.

References

External links

What's up with the Silent Treatment?

Research: Office silent treatment ‘worse than bullying’

The Silent Treatment: Are You Getting the Cold Shoulder?

''The Silent Marriage: How Passive Aggression Steals Your Happiness'' (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression)
indle Edition {{Parenting English phrases Shunning Silence Social rejection