In The Year 2000
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The following is a list of sketches performed on ''
Late Night with Conan O'Brien ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' is an American late-night talk show hosted by Conan O'Brien. NBC aired 2,725 episodes from September 13, 1993, to February 20, 2009. The show featured varied comedic material, celebrity interviews, and music ...
'' on
NBC The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) is an American English-language commercial broadcast television and radio network. The flagship property of the NBC Entertainment division of NBCUniversal, a division of Comcast, its headquarters are l ...
.


''Late Night'' sketches appearing on ''Tonight''


Moral Outrage

In response to a recent news story, usually about misconduct, Conan speaks at length about his moral outrage, and his feeling of responsibility to remove this type of behavior from society; meanwhile, the camera occasionally makes brief cuts from Conan to Max. Conan may also speak of a dim-witted accomplice who aids the deviant in his exploits, after which the camera briefly cuts from Conan to LaBamba. Finally, Conan urges the public to expose such people using the show's address which, together with the heading "Shameless Adulterous Weasel" or the like, is superimposed over Max.


In the Year 2000/3000

The sketch is typically performed with Richter participating, but after Richter left ''Late Night'', the celebrity guest would participate (when Richter was scheduled as a guest, he would again take part). Each guest version would usually be titled "The uest's_surname.html" ;"title="surname.html" ;"title="uest's surname">uest's surname">surname.html" ;"title="uest's surname">uest's surnameEdition" with "2.0" added for guests who have done the sketch more than once. In 2006, the naming format was changed to simply "The [guest's name] Edition". Its introduction is as follows: ''Conan: "... It's time, once again, to look into the future."''
''Andy/Guest: "The future, Conan?"''
''Conan: "That's right, Andy/[Guest's name]. Let's look to the future, all the way to the year ''2000''!"'' During an "In the Year 2000" sketch, O'Brien, Andy or the guest, as well as band member
Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg is an American trombonist originating from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is a former member of the house band on Conan O'Brien's late-night talk shows. Early life Rosenberg became a trombonist when his junior high ...
, each wears a black robe and futuristic-looking collar and hold a lit flashlight to their face. Between La Bamba's chant of "In the year 2000...", O'Brien and Andy or the guest alternate delivering jokes, often based on current events, in the form of humorous predictions of what will happen in the year 2000. Quite commonly, the second-to-last prediction involves Conan mocking his guest, while the last prediction involves the guest mocking Conan in return. This sketch is very similar to one Conan performed with the '' Happy Happy Good Show'' in 1988. The sketch was created prior to the actual year 2000, but the show's writers decided to keep the named year the same even after the passing of that year, in a sort of ironic twist. However, when the sketch was revived on ''
The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien ''The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien'' is an American late-night talk show that featured Conan O'Brien as host from June 1, 2009, to January 22, 2010, as part of NBC's ''Tonight Show'' franchise. O'Brien had previously hosted NBC's ''Late Ni ...
'', Richter heaped ridicule upon O'Brien for failing to update the name of the skit nine years after the year 2000 had passed. The sketch is renamed "In the Year 3000", with the black robe (referred to as a "ratty smock" by Richter) being replaced with a more futuristic-looking outfit consisting of a large metallic collar with a series of blinking lights, which Conan said were very expensive to make and Andy said smelled bad. Appearing on ''Tonight'' June 3, 2009, it was the first ''Late Night'' sketch to be carried over to Conan's ''Tonight Show''. The open to the sketch included narration by
William Shatner William Shatner (born March 22, 1931) is a Canadian actor. In a career spanning seven decades, he is best known for his portrayal of James T. Kirk in the ''Star Trek'' franchise, from his 1965 debut as the captain of the starship ''Enterpris ...
and, on one occasion,
George Takei George Takei (; ja, ジョージ・タケイ; born Hosato Takei (武井 穂郷), April 20, 1937) is an American actor, author and activist known for his role as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the fictional starship USS ''Enterprise'' in the televi ...
. This segment was also adopted by
ABS-CBN ABS-CBN (an initialism of its two predecessors' names, Alto Broadcasting System and Chronicle Broadcasting Network) is a Philippine commercial broadcast network that serves as the flagship property of ABS-CBN Corporation, a company unde ...
's
Goin' Bulilit Goin' Bulilit () is a Philippine sketch comedy program broadcast by ABS-CBN. The show premiered on February 6, 2005, replacing ''Ang Tanging Ina'' and aired every Sunday nights on the network's ''Yes Weekend!'' block. It also aired worldwide via ...
in their annual segment "Ngayong (Year)" but with different style.


Celebrity Survey

In this sketch, Conan has supposedly sent out questionnaires to celebrities and he reads their replies. Conan reads a question and then recites the answer that each of three celebrities gave. The answers of the first two celebrities are ordinary "straight" answers. The third is the gag answer and often relates to something unseemly about the celebrity. For example, to the question: "I like to think of my viewers as people who..."
Brian Williams Brian Douglas Williams (born May 5, 1959) is an American retired journalist and television news anchor. He was a reporter for '' NBC Nightly News'' starting in 1993, before his promotion to anchor and managing editor of the broadcast in 2004. ...
wrote "want to be informed."
Meredith Vieira Meredith Louise Vieira (born December 30, 1953) is an American broadcast journalist and television personality. She is best known as the original moderator of the daytime talk show '' The View'' (1997–2006), the original host of the syndicated ...
wrote "want to be my friend."
Tony Danza Tony Danza (born Anthony Salvatore Iadanza; April 21, 1951) is an American actor. He is known for co-starring in the television series ''Taxi'' (1978–1983) and '' Who's the Boss?'' (1984–1992), for which he was nominated for an Emmy Award a ...
wrote "have broken both arms and can't change the channel;" A running joke has the survey frequently including a question which is answered by O.J. Simpson somehow referring to committing murder. To the question: "My favorite time of day is..." Evangeline Lilly wrote: "Dawn."
Matt Lauer Matthew Todd Lauer (; born December 30, 1957) is an American former television news personality, best known for his work with NBC News. After serving as a local news personality in New York City on WNBC, his first national exposure was as the ne ...
wrote "Twilight". O. J. Simpson wrote: "Murder O'Clock." A reply where
Paris Hilton Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American media personality, businesswoman, socialite, model, and entertainer. Born in New York City, and raised there and in Beverly Hills, California, she is a great-granddaughter of Conrad ...
is the final respondent to a question has been used in every segment for at least the last four years, usually about her promiscuous dating habits. O'Brien and bandleader
Max Weinberg Max Weinberg (born April 13, 1951) is an American drummer and television personality, most widely known as the longtime drummer for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band and as the bandleader for Conan O'Brien on '' Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' ...
have been used as well, with answers that perceive O'Brien as a loser and Max as a pervert. Another running gag has both
Larry King Larry King (born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger; November 19, 1933 – January 23, 2021) was an American television and radio host, whose awards included 2 Peabodys, an Emmy and 10 Cable ACE Awards. Over his career, he hosted over 50,000 interviews. ...
and
Kirstie Alley Kirstie Louise Alley (January 12, 1951 – December 5, 2022) was an American actress. Her breakout role was as Rebecca Howe in the NBC sitcom ''Cheers'' (1987–1993), for which she received an Emmy Award and a Golden Globe in 1991. From 1997 ...
answering, usually poking fun at Larry King's age and Kirstie Alley's weight. Reintroduced on ''
The Tonight Show ''The Tonight Show'' is an American late-night talk show that has aired on NBC since 1954. The show has been hosted by six comedians: Steve Allen (1954–1957), Jack Paar (1957–1962), Johnny Carson (1962–1992), Jay Leno (1992–2009 and 201 ...
'' on June 5, 2009 and later reintroduced February 1, 2012 on Conan.


Noches de Pasion con Señor O'Brien (Nights of Passion with Mr. O'Brien)

A
Spanglish Spanglish (a portmanteau of the words "Spanish" and "English") is any language variety (such as a contact dialect, hybrid language, pidgin, or creole language) that results from conversationally combining Spanish and English. The term is m ...
telenovela A telenovela is a type of a television serial drama or soap opera produced primarily in Latin America. The word combines ''tele'' (for "television") and ''novela'' (meaning "novel"). Similar drama genres around the world include '' teleserye'' ...
parody A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its sub ...
, which Conan announces that they have made specifically for the NBC-owned
Telemundo Telemundo (; formerly NetSpan) is an American Spanish-language terrestrial television network owned by NBCUniversal Telemundo Enterprises, a division of NBCUniversal, which in turn is owned by Comcast. It provides content nationally with pr ...
Spanish network. Conando (Conan with a fake mustache) is the hero of the piece, fighting mild villains to save the beautiful
damsel in distress The damsel in distress is a recurring narrative device in which one or more men must rescue a woman who has either been kidnapped or placed in general peril. Kinship, love, or lust (or a combination of those) gives the male protagonist the motiv ...
, usually from an abusive boyfriend or entering into a
forced marriage Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or more of the parties is married without their consent or against their will. A marriage can also become a forced marriage even if both parties enter with full consent if one or both are later force ...
, in most episodes. Each episode features a dramatic entrance, to which the villains bewilderedly ask "¿Conando?", the damsel swoons "¡Conando!" and to which Conan even more wildly replies "¡Si! ¡Conando!" In almost every sketch, Conando
defenestrate Defenestration (from Modern Latin ) is the act of throwing someone or something out of a window. The term was coined around the time of an incident in Prague Castle in the year 1618 which became the spark that started the Thirty Years' War. T ...
s the villains, making extensive use of stock footage. Quite often the sketch would include ridiculous phrases which you would not often use in daily conversation, but are common in Spanish-learning texts. Also, on occasion, the sketch would include long and complicated speeches which are obviously and extremely voiced-over. Also, on occasion, the sketches would include long and complicated speeches which Conan himself would rapidly read off cue cards with the speed, grammar mistakes, pronunciation and agility of an advanced level high school Spanish student. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' June 8, 2009, and performed many times on ''Tonight'', Richter is introduced as Conando's sidekick Nachito, who always shows up when Conando is about to make love to the damsel, thus spoiling the romantic mood. In one sketch, the damsel did not end up with Conando but rather
Mario Lopez Mario Lopez (born October 10, 1973) is an American actor and television host. He has appeared on several television series, in films, and on Broadway. He is known for his portrayal of A.C. Slater on '' Saved by the Bell'', '' Saved by the Bell ...
.


The Audiencey Awards

Conan awards members of the studio audience for various talents. Typically this will always include "best celebrity impression" to highlight lookalikes (as in movie casting), and then a variety of other awards which are achieved with props and superimposed images. For example, the winner of "Best Foreign Language Audience Member" was shown with a large superimposed moustache and sombrero, and the "Audience Member Who Smells the Most Like Fresh Salmon" was attacked by a man in a bear costume. Awards show intermission segments (red carpet, how the award is built, ''etc.'') are also parodied. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' June 16, 2009, and later reintroduced again on '' Conan'' on June 21, 2011.


Movie casting

A fictitious new
made-for-TV movie A television film, alternatively known as a television movie, made-for-TV film/movie or TV film/movie, is a feature-length film that is produced and originally distributed by or to a television network, in contrast to theatrical films made for ...
is announced, based on a real-life event Conan has mentioned. Conan then says he has the inside scoop on the movie's casting. Viewers are shown two photos side-by-side of a person or thing who will be portrayed in the movie and the person that will be playing the role. The casting first starts off with people who strikingly resemble the person they are playing but then goes off to extremes with, usually, objects or fictitious characters bearing some resemblance to the person they are playing. The humor is in how similar the two photos are despite how vastly different the two people/things pictured are or vice versa, with Conan often commenting on how great the casting is. Running gags include President George W. Bush being played by Ralph Wiggum,
Patrick Star Patrick Star is a fictional character in the American animated television series ''SpongeBob SquarePants''. He is voiced by actor Bill Fagerbakke and was created and designed by marine biology, marine biologist and animator Stephen Hillenburg ...
, or a deer in the headlights, Joe Biden being played by
Bob Barker Robert William Barker (born December 12, 1923) is an American retired television game show host. He is known for hosting CBS's '' The Price Is Right'' from 1972 to 2007, making it the longest-running daytime game show in North American tele ...
,
Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton ( Rodham; born October 26, 1947) is an American politician, diplomat, and former lawyer who served as the 67th United States Secretary of State for President Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013, as a United States sen ...
being played by
Chucky Chucky may refer to: *Chucky (name) *Chucky (character), a fictional character in the ''Child's Play'' franchise **'' Chucky: Slash & Dash'', a 2013 video game ** ''Chucky'' (TV series), a 2021 TV series *Chucky madtom (''Noturus crypticus''), en ...
,
Condoleezza Rice Condoleezza Rice ( ; born November 14, 1954) is an American diplomat and political scientist who is the current director of the Hoover Institution at Stanford University. A member of the Republican Party, she previously served as the 66th Un ...
being played by
Snoop Dogg Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr. (born October 20, 1971), known professionally as Snoop Dogg (previously Snoop Doggy Dogg and briefly Snoop Lion), is an American rapper. His fame dates back to 1992 when he featured on Dr. Dre's debut solo single, " ...
,
Donald Rumsfeld Donald Henry Rumsfeld (July 9, 1932 – June 29, 2021) was an American politician, government official and businessman who served as Secretary of Defense from 1975 to 1977 under president Gerald Ford, and again from 2001 to 2006 under Preside ...
being played by
Skeletor Skeletor () is a fictional character and the main antagonist of the ''Masters of the Universe'' franchise created by Mattel, serving as the archenemy of the protagonist He-Man. He is typically depicted as a blue-skinned humanoid who wears a purpl ...
, and
Dick Cheney Richard Bruce Cheney ( ; born January 30, 1941) is an American politician and businessman who served as the 46th vice president of the United States from 2001 to 2009 under President George W. Bush. He is currently the oldest living former ...
being played by The Penguin. Reintroduced on June 17, 2009.


Mike Merritt's Inner Thoughts

As Conan speaks on a recent news story dealing with race, the camera cuts to bassist Mike Merritt, as the audience hears his inner thoughts regarding Conan's lack of knowledge on racial issues and his attempt at "trying to be black." He also makes note of the scant number of black people in the studio, which usually includes only him and an audience member, or crew member, who is either hired for the show or whose skin is heavily made up to look tan. He would sign off by calling Conan a "pasty-faced pumpkin head", just before Conan finishes his speech by saying, "...because we're all part of this beautiful mosaic that is mankind", while believing that the audience is applauding for him. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' July 7, 2009, with Conan commenting on that day's memorial service for
Michael Jackson Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009) was an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and philanthropist. Dubbed the " King of Pop", he is regarded as one of the most significant cultural figures of the 20th century. Over ...
. Has been seen on ''Conan'' on TBS as well.


New Coins/Stamps

Conan says he has "connections" which allow him to show "New" (fake) state quarters,
Euros The euro (symbol: €; code: EUR) is the official currency of 19 out of the member states of the European Union (EU). This group of states is known as the eurozone or, officially, the euro area, and includes about 340 million citizens . Th ...
or
commemorative stamp A commemorative stamp is a postage stamp, often issued on a significant date such as an anniversary, to honor or commemorate a place, event, person, or object. The ''subject'' of the commemorative stamp is usually spelled out in print, unlike defi ...
s. The stamps are usually states based on people or current events. The state quarters insult the state they are based on, and the Euros insult the country they are based on. One such Euros skit led to the creation of Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland. The new coins sketch was reintroduced on ''Tonight'' July 13, 2009.


Photo Gallery

Conan, Max, and announcer Joel Godard have recently had a party and Conan displays the ridiculous and fictional events of this party. These events typically include heavy drinking and rather gory violence or homicide on the part of one or the entire cast. Towards the end of the bit they are always joined by a celebrity, played by an actor with a superimposed picture of the celebrity at hand. The celebrity usually ends up getting into a fight with Conan, Joel, or Max, or is seen in compromising positions and/or situations, always looking back at the camera with exactly the same look, since the superimposed picture never changes. Before his death, Carl "Oldie" Olsen, played by William Preston, was usually in the party instead of Joel Godard. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' July 21, 2009, featuring only Conan and Andy, and their trip to the beach.


Hanging Out with Jordan Schlansky

During the 2007-08 writers' strike, O'Brien interviewed various members of his production staff, including associate producer Jordan Schlansky. O'Brien asked Schlansky about his feelings on working for O'Brien, his skill with a bullwhip, his appreciation for the band Rush, and his healthy eating habits. During the interview O'Brien found Schlansky to be totally unfazed by his boss's jokes or antics, reacting to most with a stoic demeanor. At the end of the segment, O'Brien thanked Schlansky, commenting, "I can't believe you're a real person." The positive reaction to the Schlansky interview led to an episode where Jordan and O'Brien had dinner at an Italian restaurant, with O'Brien purposefully trying to annoy and embarrass Schlansky throughout the bit, without apparent success. When O'Brien moved from New York to Los Angeles, most of his staff moved with him and found places to live, except for Schlansky. O'Brien and a realtor helped Schlansky find a house, with O'Brien again trying unsuccessfully to provoke an emotional reaction from Schlansky. Throughout subsequent sketches O'Brien would make more pointed criticisms of Schlansky's various tastes and lifestyle.


Conan on the Aisle

Conan and Andy review
movies A film also called a movie, motion picture, moving picture, picture, photoplay or (slang) flick is a work of visual art that simulates experiences and otherwise communicates ideas, stories, perceptions, feelings, beauty, or atmospher ...
released in cinemas around the time of the sketch's original airing. Initially called 'Conan and Andy on the Aisle', until Richter left ''Late Night''. Conan and Andy usually comments on a negative quality which is either fictitious or exaggerated by an edited scene he then shows as proof. For example, when Conan was reviewing ''
Jurassic Park III ''Jurassic Park III'' is a 2001 American science fiction action film, written by Peter Buchman, Alexander Payne, and Jim Taylor and directed by Joe Johnston. It is the third installment in the ''Jurassic Park'' franchise and the final fi ...
'', he mentioned that the movie had scenes that were disgusting and weird. A scene then appeared where a
couple Couple or couples may refer to : Basic meaning *Couple (app), a mobile app which provides a mobile messaging service for two people *Couple (mechanics), a system of forces with a resultant moment but no resultant force *Couple (relationship), tw ...
ran and were surprised by a
dinosaur Dinosaurs are a diverse group of reptiles of the clade Dinosauria. They first appeared during the Triassic period, between 243 and 233.23 million years ago (mya), although the exact origin and timing of the evolution of dinosaurs is t ...
which opened its mouth to roar. ''Late Night'' edited the couple's lost child into the dinosaur's mouth, and the child says "hello" to the parents. The sketch occasionally reviewed TV shows. For example, Conan poked fun at the then-new television series ''
Viva Laughlin ''Viva Laughlin'' is an American musical dramedy television series adapted by Bob Lowry and Peter Bowker (creator of the original series) from the popular BBC British serial, ''Blackpool'', and taking its name from the latter program's sequel, ' ...
'' claiming the producers missed some key signals of the show's poor quality. A clip of the show featuring one of its musical numbers appeared interspersed with footage of a "crew member" who, horrified at how terrible the show is, suddenly activates a TNT detonator and the scene switches to stock footage of an imploding building. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' August 4, 2009.


Brian McCann on the Spot

During the monologue or opening segment, O'Brien mentions a big news item and says Brian McCann is on the scene and cuts to him via a "remote feed", which is actually McCann standing in front of a
greenscreen Chroma key compositing, or chroma keying, is a visual-effects and post-production technique for compositing (layering) two images or video Video is an electronic medium for the recording, copying, playback, broadcasting, and displa ...
backdrop. McCann gives an increasingly absurd report that involves a variety of gags, such as the backdrop turning into a slideshow of various landmarks as he attempts to convince O'Brien that he is taking a tour. At one point McCann is seen wearing a pants suit and blond wig in a report about Hillary Clinton. Throughout the sketch McCann becomes increasingly frustrating to O'Brien, who wanders off his set and shows up on McCann's screen and knocks him unconscious with a breakaway chair. The camera angle shifts to show the green screen was right next to Conan's set. As McCann is revealed to be faking unconsciousness, O'Brien then derides his acting and wonders if he will lie there for the rest of the bit. McCann has also done a remote feed of sporting events, such as
NBA Finals The NBA Finals is the annual championship series of the National Basketball Association (NBA). The Eastern and Western Conference champions play a best-of-seven game series to determine the league champion. The team that wins the series is a ...
and U.S. Open, where he had
Kevin Garnett Kevin Maurice Garnett ( ; born May 19, 1976) is an American former professional basketball player who played for 21 seasons in the National Basketball Association (NBA). Nicknamed KG by his initials, and the "Big Ticket" for his emphatic dunki ...
,
Doc Rivers Glenn Anton "Doc" Rivers (born October 13, 1961) is an American professional basketball coach and former player who is the head coach for the Philadelphia 76ers of the National Basketball Association (NBA). After playing for Marquette Universit ...
, and
Tiger Woods Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods (born December 30, 1975) is an American professional golfer. He is tied for first in PGA Tour wins, ranks second in men's major championships, and holds numerous golf records. * * * Woods is widely regarded as ...
to interview, though they did not appear on screen. But at the end, the interviewees come out, partially hiding themselves, but only to reveal that it is actually Pierre Bernard. Then O'Brien would knock out McCann with an object. When reintroduced on ''Tonight'' August 24, 2009, O'Brien did not hit McCann with a chair. Instead, McCann just walked out of his shot and into O'Brien's (a running gag in the satellite interview sketch), followed by Bernard, who portrayed the Obama family off screen, and an elderly man playing
Brett Favre Brett Lorenzo Favre ( ; born October 10, 1969) is an American former football quarterback who played in the National Football League (NFL) for 20 seasons, primarily with the Green Bay Packers. Favre had 321 consecutive starts from 1992 to 2010 ...
, who appeared earlier in the broadcast.


Pender Sings

Trumpeter
Mark Pender Mark "The Loveman" Pender (born August 21, 1957 in Kansas City, Missouri) is a trumpet player and vocalist who has played with Southside Johnny, Little Steven and Bruce Springsteen. Since 1993 he has performed on ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien' ...
is invited by Conan to sing a song about a current event. Pender begins normally, but upon reaching the refrain, he loses control, or he would intentionally climb over the railing into the audience, eventually writhing around on the floor within the top of his voice shouting "baby" over and over again until Conan finally stops him. The rhythm of the song is typically the same, with different lyrics each time. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' August 28, 2009, when it was incorporated into the "Conan, Please Blow Up My Car" contest.


The Interrupter

A melodramatic villain (played by Brian Stack), the Interrupter constantly interrupts Conan by finishing his sentences for him, always knowing exactly what Conan is going to say, even when it's denigrating to the Interrupter himself. He appeared in a black cape, purple ruffled shirt, long black hair and a handlebar mustache. Occasionally, if the sketch runs long enough, the roles will eventually become reversed, with the Interrupter starting sentences and Conan doing the interrupting. Eventually, the sketches evolved so that the first celebrity guest, and O'Brien himself, would replace the Interrupter as the one interrupting. Reintroduced on ''Tonight'' on September 3, 2009 and reprised for Stack's final show on ''Conan'' on April 2, 2015.


Small Talk Moment

Conan and Max make small talk about a particular subject. The result is usually that both Max and Conan, bantering back and forth, end up going into extreme detail or citing obscure people and events. Once they have exhausted the subject, Max stops and says, "Wow, Conan! Talking about (this subject) sure is interesting", to which Conan enthusiastically responds, "It sure is, Max!" They then stare at one another in dull fashion as the camera cuts back and forth between them. Reintroduced on November 23, 2009 when Max returned from his tour with Bruce Springsteen. The topic of the first return sketch was soccer.


''Late Night'' sketches


Actual Items

A parody of
Jay Leno James Douglas Muir Leno (; born April 28, 1950) is an American television host, comedian, writer, and actor. After doing stand-up comedy for years, he became the host of NBC's '' The Tonight Show'' from 1992 to 2009. Beginning in September 20 ...
's ''
Headlines The headline or heading is the text indicating the content or nature of the article below it, typically by providing a form of brief summary of its contents. The large type ''front page headline'' did not come into use until the late 19th centur ...
'' segment on ''
The Tonight Show ''The Tonight Show'' is an American late-night talk show that has aired on NBC since 1954. The show has been hosted by six comedians: Steve Allen (1954–1957), Jack Paar (1957–1962), Johnny Carson (1962–1992), Jay Leno (1992–2009 and 201 ...
'' in which Leno finds humorous mistakes in various newspapers. Conan's bit takes regular newspaper ads and stories and adds blatantly fake text; for example, an ad depicting a leather living room couch was modified to include a cartoon cow exclaiming, "How's my ass feel, you son of a bitch?", or an ad for a new home, labeling one of the rooms as "The Room You Will Die In." Adding to the humor, Conan repeatedly insists that his ads are real, commenting "you can't make this stuff up, why would you, that would waste everybody's time." This sketch appeared on the show's very first episode in September 1993.


"ASS" Stamp

Conan and Max converse about a current event or person, with Conan asking
leading question In common law systems that rely on testimony by witnesses, a leading question is a question that suggests a particular answer and contains information the examiner is looking to have confirmed. The use of leading questions in court to elicit tes ...
s to which Max replies incorrectly, but in great detail in an attempt to appear knowledgeable. Usually, this is initiated when Conan introduces a person who is famous for some accomplishment but not necessarily widely recognizable. Max will claim to recognize the person and perhaps claim to be a long-time friend or acquaintance of the individual. Conan then catches Max in the lie, stating "I made it up just to make a fool out of you!". Max replies "Well, I guess I know what's coming...", Conan says "You sure do", and a large red stamp (like a typical rubber stamp imprint) of the word "ASS" appears on the screen over a dejected Max, along with a dramatic voiceover of the word. Occasionally, the roles will be reversed, and Conan will be "stamped". Other stamps are often used to abruptly punctuate various one-off sketches, including words such as "Alone", "Liar", "Sad", and "Small Penis". Another sketch on ''Tonight'' ended with an "Admirable" stamp after
Barack Obama Barack Hussein Obama II ( ; born August 4, 1961) is an American politician who served as the 44th president of the United States from 2009 to 2017. A member of the Democratic Party (United States), Democratic Party, Obama was the first Af ...
called the work of
AFTRA The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) was a performers' union that represented a wide variety of talent, including actors in radio and television, radio and television announcers and newspersons, singers and recording a ...
members "admirable" in a video. Otherwise, these sketches bear no particular resemblance to the standard recurring "Ass Stamp" sketch. A variation of the ass stamp appeared on Conan's new show on TBS in 2011 during the NFL playoffs where Conan and Andy are trying to feign an interest in the NFL playoffs and afterward, a stamp appears over the two of them calling them "GIRLS". This happened again during the Stanley Cup Playoffs when Conan said he was cheering for the Boston Bruins, since Conan is from Boston. Andy then called him out on it, saying he's never heard about him talk about hockey before. Andy then quizzed him on who the coach was, name a forward, the goalie, etc., and then asked who the Assistant Equipment Manager was, and then ridiculous ones like Vice-President of Corporate Partnerships. Eventually, Conan got one wrong and Conan was stamped as a "PHONY A-HOLE".


Before Plastic Surgery

A picture of a famous celebrity, usually either rumored to have had or has actually had plastic surgery done in real life, is shown. The picture is then distorted with exaggerated features into a grotesque new picture of what that person looked like before the surgery. The last item in the sketch often makes a joke using an unaltered photograph of another unrelated celebrity, animal, plant or object as the before picture: for example, if George W. Bush had plastic surgery, his before picture would be that of a chimpanzee. The sketch is loosely related to the "If They Mated" sketch in that it uses the same technology for a similar comedic premise.


Celebrity ''Secrets''

Features celebrities in a room that looks like a jail cell or perhaps a police interrogation room, smoking a cigarette and downing hard liquor, usually telling some humorous "secret" previously unknown about them. For example, one featured
Michael Caine Sir Michael Caine (born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite; 14 March 1933) is an English actor. Known for his distinctive Cockney accent, he has appeared in more than 160 films in a career spanning seven decades, and is considered a British film ico ...
saying "I was convinced that the 'MC' in
MC Hammer Stanley Kirk Burrell (born March 30, 1962), better known by his stage name MC Hammer (or simply Hammer), is an American rapper, dancer, record producer and entrepreneur. He is known for hit songs such as " U Can't Touch This", "2 Legit 2 Quit" ...
's name stood for Michael Caine. When I found out it didn't, I destroyed his career." Another featured
Alex Trebek George Alexander Trebek (; July 22, 1940 – November 8, 2020) was a Canadian-American game show host and television personality. He is best known for hosting the syndicated general knowledge quiz game show ''Jeopardy!'' for 37 season ...
taking a drink, and admitting he had a "potent potables" problem. When
Gwyneth Paltrow Gwyneth Kate Paltrow (; born ) is an American actress and businesswoman. She is the recipient of various accolades, including an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award, and a Primetime Emmy Award. Paltrow gained notice for her early work in films ...
appeared on the sketch she admitted that anytime before she starts a new film she kills a hobo with a hammer, as well as admitting an affinity for porn. When U2 appeared on the sketch, they admitted they were not
Irish Irish may refer to: Common meanings * Someone or something of, from, or related to: ** Ireland, an island situated off the north-western coast of continental Europe ***Éire, Irish language name for the isle ** Northern Ireland, a constituent unit ...
. When Senator
John McCain John Sidney McCain III (August 29, 1936 – August 25, 2018) was an American politician and United States Navy officer who served as a United States senator from Arizona from 1987 until his death in 2018. He previously served two te ...
ran for president in
2008 File:2008 Events Collage.png, From left, clockwise: Lehman Brothers went bankrupt following the Subprime mortgage crisis; Cyclone Nargis killed more than 138,000 in Myanmar; A scene from the opening ceremony of the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing; ...
, Conan began replaying his secrets segments, which included McCain plugging "The McCain-Feingold Singles Guide to Portland."


Coked up Werewolf

Shown in 2003 numerous times. The sketch was simply a man in a werewolf costume, rubbing his snout in a manner stereotypically associated with cocaine users.


Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland

The premise of this skit had its origin when ''Late Night'' received many angry letters from viewers in
Ukraine Ukraine ( uk, Україна, Ukraïna, ) is a country in Eastern Europe. It is the second-largest European country after Russia, which it borders to the east and northeast. Ukraine covers approximately . Prior to the ongoing Russian inva ...
after mocking that nation in another recurring skit, '' New Euros'', where the joke was an image on a Ukrainian Euro Coin depicting a man in Eastern European dress with four arms, holding up seventeen fingers, with the caption on the coin saying "Over 17 years since the Chernobyl Accident". O'Brien was unaware that his show was even airing in Ukraine - thus, the premise of "Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland" is that O'Brien, in an effort to find out where else the show is being aired without his knowledge, reads fast-paced insults of each of the
nation A nation is a community of people formed on the basis of a combination of shared features such as language, history, ethnicity, culture and/or society. A nation is thus the collective identity of a group of people understood as defined by th ...
s of the world in
alphabetical order Alphabetical order is a system whereby character strings are placed in order based on the position of the characters in the conventional ordering of an alphabet. It is one of the methods of collation. In mathematics, a lexicographical order is t ...
br>
with the expectation that angry mail will come pouring in from offended viewers in countries where the show is broadcast. O'Brien insults 5 countries (with a bell ringing between each one) each time the bit airs. A sample insult: '' Georgia (country), Georgia: Where Europe meets Asia and says "Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here?"'' Announcer Joel Godard then tells insulted viewers around the world a real address to send their angry letters. On August 9, 2007,
Zimbabwe Zimbabwe (), officially the Republic of Zimbabwe, is a landlocked country located in Southeast Africa, between the Zambezi and Limpopo Rivers, bordered by South Africa to the south, Botswana to the south-west, Zambia to the north, and ...
was the last country to be featured, thus ending the sketch after three years.


Finland

An announcer on the Finnish entertainment channel
SubTV MTV Sub (formerly TVTV!, Subtv and Sub) is a Finnish TV channel owned by MTV Oy. The previous owner Alma Media sold Sub and its sister channels (MTV3, C More Max, MTV Ava Radio Nova and Sävelradio) to Swedish Bonnier and Proventus in 200 ...
, which airs the show a couple of days after it is aired in the USA, asked people to defend Finland before Conan got to insult it, and the viewers in Finland began sending mail before the bit had even gotten to the letter F. Conan responded by assuming the Finnish "just couldn't wait" to be insulted and officially insulted Finland in the segment. An overwhelming number of
postcard A postcard or post card is a piece of thick paper or thin cardboard, typically rectangular, intended for writing and mailing without an envelope. Non-rectangular shapes may also be used but are rare. There are novelty exceptions, such as woo ...
s were supposedly received, which apparently "forced" Conan to give Finland a formal apology. Conan then went as far as to have the
flag of Finland The flag of Finland ( fi, Suomen lippu, sv, Finlands flagga), also called ' ("Blue Cross Flag"), dates from the beginning of the 20th century. On a white background, it features a blue Nordic cross, which represents Christianity. The stat ...
shown in the background during a speech and slandered the Finns' "hated" neighbor Sweden with a sign saying "Sweden Sucks!" printed over the flag of Sweden. In 2006, the Finland antics increased. While talking to fans before the show, Conan met two Finnish fans who commented that he resembled their President at the time, a woman named
Tarja Halonen Tarja Kaarina Halonen (; born 24 December 1943) is a Finnish politician who served as the 11th president of Finland, and the first woman to hold the position, from 2000 to 2012. She first rose to prominence as a lawyer with the Central Organisa ...
. Amused that his show was even airing in Finland, Conan made frequent references to his resemblance to Halonen, even putting her picture beside a live feed of his head. Upon learning that Halonen was running for reelection, Conan went so far as to film a segment of the show which took the form of a campaign commercial for the President. When Halonen won she jokingly gave O'Brien part of the credit and offered to meet him if he ever came to Finland. This inspired an episode where Conan did travel to Finland where he was given a hero's welcome at the airport, met with Tarja Halonen, participated in Lapplander folk rituals, and sought out an ordinary Finnish fan who had written a letter to the show.


Desk Drive

Conan and Andy "drive" the host desk thru increasingly bizarre situations and locations. Both Desk Drive and Syncro-Vox were later ripped off by the German late night show
Die Harald Schmidt Show ''Die Harald Schmidt Show'' ("The Harald Schmidt Show") was a German late-night talk show hosted on Sky Deutschland by comedian Harald Schmidt. The show first aired from 5 December 1995 to 23 December 2003 on Sat.1. Schmidt then moved his show to ...
.


Fantastic Guy

This sketch sometimes occurs when Conan announces future guests. After announcing the first guest, a member of the audience (played by writer Brian Stack) is seen saying that the guest is "''Fan''tastic!" right to the camera with a
thumbs up A thumb signal, usually described as a thumbs-up or thumbs-down, is a common hand gesture achieved by a closed fist held with the thumb extended upward or downward in approval or disapproval, respectively. These gestures have become metaphors i ...
. After Conan announces the next guest, the member does almost the same thing, but ends by making up a word by combining a guest's name or work with the word "fantastic". (For example: "Wow,
Omar Epps Omar Hashim Epps (born July 20, 1973) is an American actor, rapper, and producer. He has been awarded nine NAACP Image Awards, two Teen Choice Awards, one MTV Movie Award, one Black Reel Award, and one Screen Actors Guild Award. Epps's film r ...
? That charismatic scene-stealer is Epps-tastic!" or "Tell that group, "don't stop the 'tastic!") Then, Conan reminds viewers he will also be doing his usual "hilarious monologue", the camera shows that the man prepares to do his bit, but changes his mind. Conan also mentions the show's "zany, off-the-wall comedy bits", and the man either already stopped paying attention and/or begun torturing himself. (Examples: reading a disturbing or uninteresting book or newspaper article, drinking bleach or drilling his teeth.) Conan then questions the man, asking if he just likes the guests but "thinks everything else we do is
crap Crap or craps may refer to: * Crap, a slang term for feces * Craps, a dice game * ''Craps'' (album), by Big Dipper, 1988 * ''Commandos de recherche et d'action en profondeur'', the former name of France's Commando Parachute Group * "Create, ...
?" or some other negative word. The man will then finish with "not crap, crap''tastic''!"


Guests We'll Never Have Back

Conan will start by talking about how great the guests for that night's show are, then mention that sometimes they book guests whose appearances end up being disastrous. He then introduces a series of fictional clips from past shows where the guests reveal themselves to have unforeseen quirks or cause disturbing mishaps. Some examples include a chef who does not actually make anything, but only reassembles food to its original form, and a character named Barney Brittlebones who crumples to the floor the instant he makes physical contact with Conan.


Horny Manatee

During the airing of the usual " New College Mascots" sketch, a character called the " FSU
Webcam A webcam is a video camera which is designed to record or stream to a computer or computer network. They are primarily used in videotelephony, livestreaming and social media, and security. Webcams can be built-in computer hardware or peripher ...
Manatee Manatees (family Trichechidae, genus ''Trichechus'') are large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammals sometimes known as sea cows. There are three accepted living species of Trichechidae, representing three of the four living speci ...
" was featured - a manatee in front of a computer, dancing to the
Divinyls Divinyls () were an Australian rock band that were formed in Sydney in 1980. The band primarily consisted of vocalist Chrissy Amphlett and guitarist Mark McEntee. Amphlett garnered widespread attention for performing on stage in a school uni ...
' "
I Touch Myself "I Touch Myself" is a song recorded by the Australian rock band Divinyls and written by Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg with Christine Amphlett and Mark McEntee of the Divinyls. It was released in November 1990 as the lead single from their f ...
", being watched remotely by trumpeter
Mark Pender Mark "The Loveman" Pender (born August 21, 1957 in Kansas City, Missouri) is a trumpet player and vocalist who has played with Southside Johnny, Little Steven and Bruce Springsteen. Since 1993 he has performed on ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien' ...
. Conan, in an
ad-lib In music and other performing arts, the phrase (; from Latin for 'at one's pleasure' or 'as you desire'), often shortened to "ad lib" (as an adjective or adverb) or "ad-lib" (as a verb or noun), refers to various forms of improvisation. The r ...
bed statement, mentioned that the character appeared on the (at the time) fictitious web site "HornyManatee.com". The next night, Conan told viewers that if he mentions a
web site A website (also written as a web site) is a collection of web pages and related content that is identified by a common domain name and published on at least one web server. Examples of notable websites are Google, Facebook, Amazon, and W ...
which does not exist, NBC corporate policy is to buy the domain name lest someone else use it and potentially make NBC liable for the site's content. Conan said ''Late Night'' decided to use the domain name to create an actual web site, giving it the appearance of a fake
porn site Internet pornography is any pornography that is accessible over the internet, primarily via websites, FTP servers peer-to-peer file sharing, or Usenet newsgroups. The availability of widespread public access to the World Wide Web in late 1990s ...
. With
http://www.hornymanatee.com/
' (no longer operational), Conan asked viewers to submit pictures to the page. Since that night, Conan has periodically given viewers an "update" on the website's status, mentioning its hit count and several fan submitted images, poems, and other media pouring in. Conan also used the updates as lead ins for special, on-stage Horny Manatee segments. For example, Conan called on James Lipton to dramatically recite the fan-made poetry, then dance with the Manatee on air at his own request, and flew the
Pittsburgh Pittsburgh ( ) is a city in the Commonwealth (U.S. state), Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, United States, and the county seat of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, Allegheny County. It is the most populous city in both Allegheny County and Wester ...
-based pop-punk du
Rocket Me Nowhere
to New York to perform their tribute song "My Hopeless Manatee". The last time Conan stated site's hit count (January 18, 2007), it was "20 million hits" and counting. In an interview with ''New York Times'', O'Brien has also said that he was overwhelmed at the viewer response.Steinberg, Jacques, https://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/12/arts/television/12mana.html "So This Manatee Walks into the Internet", ''
New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid ...
'' December 12, 2006 accessed December 13, 2006.
As of December 16, 2006, the site has achieved an
Alexa Alexa may refer to: Technology *Amazon Alexa, a virtual assistant developed by Amazon * Alexa Internet, a defunct website ranking and traffic analysis service * Arri Alexa, a digital motion picture camera People * Alexa (name), a given name a ...
website ranking of about 31,000,000, over thirty times the rank for SaveTheManatee.org (about 937,000), to which ''Late Night'' is donating some proceeds of its "Horny Manatee" T-shirts offered on the site.''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'', December 16, 2006 Currently, traffic to the website is routed to NBC's main site.


If They Mated

Pictures of two famous celebrities, usually believed to be dating at the time, are shown. The pictures are then combined into a grotesque new picture of what their offspring would look like if they mated. The segment became so successful that it later spawned a book. The last item in the sketch often makes a joke using an unaltered photograph of a celebrity as the offspring: for example, if
Saddam Hussein Saddam Hussein ( ; ar, صدام حسين, Ṣaddām Ḥusayn; 28 April 1937 – 30 December 2006) was an Iraqi politician who served as the fifth president of Iraq from 16 July 1979 until 9 April 2003. A leading member of the revolutio ...
and
Osama Bin Laden Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden (10 March 1957 – 2 May 2011) was a Saudi-born extremist militant who founded al-Qaeda and served as its leader from 1988 until his death in 2011. Ideologically a pan-Islamist, his group is designated ...
("two of the most hated people in the world") were to have a child, it would be
Steve Bartman The Steve Bartman incident was a controversial play that occurred during a baseball game between the Chicago Cubs and the Florida Marlins on October 14, 2003, at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois, during Major League Baseball's (MLB) 2003 postse ...
. Another notable example;
Paris Hilton Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American media personality, businesswoman, socialite, model, and entertainer. Born in New York City, and raised there and in Beverly Hills, California, she is a great-granddaughter of Conrad ...
and her pet chihuahua would create George W. Bush. Once Conan mated
Kelly Ripa Kelly Ripa (; born October 2, 1970) is an American actress and talk show host. Since 2001, she has been the co-host of the syndicated morning talk show '' Live! with Kelly and Ryan'' in various formats. As an actress, Ripa's best known roles ...
with
Clay Aiken Clayton Holmes Aiken (''né'' Grissom; born November 30, 1978) is an American singer, television personality, actor, politician, and activist. Aiken finished second place on the second season of ''American Idol'' in 2003, and his debut album, ' ...
then asked the question "What do you get when you cross a perky talk show host and a guy who just won't come out of the closet?", and a picture of Conan was shown. The sketch was revived on O'Brien's TBS show, ''Conan'' as "If They Melded" using video of two famous celebrities, though they usually are not dating each other.


Joe's

Conan begins by talking about needing to relax and unwind by going to his favorite bar - Joe's. Theme music plays with an exterior shot of the bar. He walks inside and the bartender (Kevin Dorff) and a patron ( Brian McCann) begin to berate Conan invariably for showing up to an event 'completely plastered' insisting on feminine activities and in some way or another ruining food or drink that's to be served. Conan drinks hard liquor while being yelled at and looking insecure. The sketch always ends with the bartender, Joe, demanding Conan pay the money he owes. Conan stands up, screams, "I'LL PAY WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY!", and hurls his drink against the wall, often returning to break a stool over the bartender and patron


Kids’ Drawings

Conan tells the audience about a recent visit to the studio by a local grade school class of young children who were so impressed with their visit that they sent in crayon drawings of their favorite experiences. Conan looks at these drawings for the first time with the audience.


Masturbating Bear

The Masturbating Bear was a recurring character on Late Night. The character consisted of a man in a bear costume dressed in a diaper-like undergarment which contained oversized genitalia, and was often accompanied by several human "handlers" armed with cattle prods. The character would be asked to perform some sort of innocuous task such as explaining a chart on recent economic fluctuations or smoking weed with Conan O'Brien. Inevitably, a few seconds into whatever task he had come to perform, the bear would begin furiously fondling himself as part of the song "
Sabre Dance "Sabre Dance", ''Suserov par''; russian: Танец с саблями, ''Tanets s sablyami'' is a Movement (music), movement in the final act of Aram Khachaturian's ballet ''Gayane (ballet), Gayane'' (1942), where the Ballet dancer, dancers dis ...
" plays. The bear would then usually be given electric shocks by his human handlers. Despite repeated instances of masturbation, the Masturbating Bear would continue to be invited back on Late Night. Once, the bear was revealed to be
Jim Carrey James Eugene Carrey (; born January 17, 1962) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian and artist. Known for his energetic slapstick performances, Carrey first gained recognition in 1990, after landing a role in the American sketch comedy t ...
in costume. During the last week of Conan's run on Late Night, Conan declared the bear was too risque for 11:30 and tried to retire the bear by encasing him in carbonite, a la
Han Solo Han Solo is a fictional character in the '' Star Wars'' franchise created by George Lucas. The character first appeared in the 1977 film '' Star Wars'' portrayed by Harrison Ford, who reprised his role in '' The Empire Strikes Back'' (1980) an ...
. This drew a protest from
Carrie Fisher Carrie Frances Fisher (October 21, 1956 – December 27, 2016) was an American actress and writer. She played Princess Leia in the ''Star Wars'' films (1977–1983). She reprised the role in'' Star Wars: The Force Awakens'' (2015), ''The Last ...
, who subsequently freed the bear. The bear was last seen sailing away on a boat with Fisher until he reappeared on The Tonight Show on January 20, 2010 in the wake of the controversy surrounding Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, which saw O'Brien's departure. Originally, it was thought NBC would be able to claim the Masturbating Bear as
intellectual property Intellectual property (IP) is a category of property that includes intangible creations of the human intellect. There are many types of intellectual property, and some countries recognize more than others. The best-known types are patents, co ...
. As a result, he was transformed into the Self-Pleasuring Panda for O'Brien's tour. When O'Brien took his TBS show to New York City for a week in 2011, the bear was, in one episode, depicted as being out of show business and settling down with a wife and two children in the New York suburbs. After a brief video reel revealed such, the bear was invited on stage to a cheering audience. However, Conan's words about the size of the audience became too much for the bear, who stripped out of his business attire and began to pleasure himself both on stage and on hanging rafters above. After a series of bear attacks in April 2012, the bear came to Conan's TBS show in Los Angeles. During Conan's June 2012 trip to Chicago, Conan introduced the Masturbating Bear, but instead a man dressed as a
Chicago Bears The Chicago Bears are a professional American football team based in Chicago. The Bears compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member club of the league's National Football Conference (NFC) North division. The Bears have won nine ...
player watching Internet pornography with his pants down was brought onto the stage. The original Masturbating Bear came out soon after. In a 2015 Reddit AMA, O'Brien revealed that the masturbating bear died in 2015 of autoerotic asphyxiation.


New Characters

Conan tells the audience that it is time for new additions to be added to Late Night's current characters, such as "The Masturbating Bear" or the
FedEx FedEx Corporation, formerly Federal Express Corporation and later FDX Corporation, is an American multinational conglomerate holding company focused on transportation, e-commerce and business services based in Memphis, Tennessee. The name "Fe ...
Pope (Brian McCann). New additions are often more ridiculous than ones before, such as the Nudist Who Has No Skeleton or the Screeching Raccoon with a Jet Pack. Some are popular enough to warrant a second appearance, though few are actually made into recurring characters. Generally the new characters are absurdist in nature and carry names which fully describe their appearance or concept, sometimes extending to full multi phrase sentences. For example, one recurring character was "Gorilla Nurse Using an Old Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser While Listening to 'Angel of the Morning' by Juice Newton" a character which consisted simply of a stuffer gorilla in a nurses costume being vibrated by an old abdominal exerciser while the titular music played. A related gag also exists where Conan promises that he will not waste the audience's time with zany, random jokes, only to introduce a completely zany, random character. Notable characters from this bit include
Fidel Castro Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz (; ; 13 August 1926 – 25 November 2016) was a Cuban revolutionary and politician who was the leader of Cuba from 1959 to 2008, serving as the prime minister of Cuba from 1959 to 1976 and president from 1976 to 20 ...
Rabbit DJ, Nation of
Twain Twain may refer to: People * Mark Twain, pen name of American writer Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835–1910) * Norman Twain (1930–2016), American film producer * Shania Twain (born 1965), Canadian singer-songwriter Places * Twain, California, a ...
, Man protected from three-inch
bees Bees are winged insects closely related to wasps and ants, known for their roles in pollination and, in the case of the best-known bee species, the western honey bee, for producing honey. Bees are a monophyletic lineage within the superfam ...
, Hippie fire hydrant on a bacon
skateboard A skateboard is a type of sports equipment used for skateboarding. They are usually made of a specially designed 7-8 ply maple plywood deck and polyurethane wheels attached to the underside by a pair of skateboarding trucks. The skateboarder ...
,
Cactus A cactus (, or less commonly, cactus) is a member of the plant family Cactaceae, a family comprising about 127 genera with some 1750 known species of the order Caryophyllales. The word ''cactus'' derives, through Latin, from the Ancient Gree ...
Chef Playing "
We Didn't Start the Fire "We Didn't Start the Fire" is a song written and published by American musician Billy Joel. The song was released as a single on September 18, 1989, and later released as part of Joel's album '' Storm Front'' on October 17, 1989. A list song, i ...
" on the Flute and the Oscillating Air Purifier that Looks Like
Slash Slash may refer to: * Slash (punctuation), the "/" character Arts and entertainment Fictional characters * Slash (Marvel Comics) * Slash (''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'') Music * Harry Slash & The Slashtones, an American rock band * Nash ...
, and R2
Mr. T Mr. T (born Laurence Tureaud, May 21, 1952), is an American actor. He is known for his roles as B. A. Baracus in the 1980s television series ''The A-Team'' and as boxer Clubber Lang in the 1982 film ''Rocky III''. He is also known for his ...
2. Another version is "New College Mascots", which feature fake mascots which often make fun of a real college or its surrounding area. One such skit featured an "FSU Webcam Manatee" which spawned the " Horny Manatee" sketch of December 2006. In the lead-up to his departure for The Tonight Show in early 2009, O'Brien brought back characters which would be inappropriate in the 11:30 PM time slot, such as the Masturbating Bear, which was frozen in carbonite, but subsequently rescued by
Carrie Fisher Carrie Frances Fisher (October 21, 1956 – December 27, 2016) was an American actress and writer. She played Princess Leia in the ''Star Wars'' films (1977–1983). She reprised the role in'' Star Wars: The Force Awakens'' (2015), ''The Last ...
. The
New York Daily News The New York ''Daily News'', officially titled the ''Daily News'', is an American newspaper based in Jersey City, NJ. It was founded in 1919 by Joseph Medill Patterson as the ''Illustrated Daily News''. It was the first U.S. daily printed in ...
reported on May 27, 2009 that O'Brien eventually plans to reintroduce the Masturbating Bear on ''Tonight''.http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2009/05/27/2009-05-27_conan_obrien_bringing_familiar.html Conan O'Brien bringing familiar tricks to 'Tonight Show' gig. New York Daily News, May 27, 2009.


Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage

A comedy bit in which ''Late Night'' graphic designer Pierre Bernard, Jr. sits in a recliner and relates a story that has recently angered him personally. This tale is always a long, drawn-out personal tale delivered in a soft-spoken tone that usually involves some sort of
comic-book A comic book, also called comicbook, comic magazine or (in the United Kingdom and Ireland) simply comic, is a publication that consists of comics art in the form of sequential juxtaposed panels that represent individual scenes. Panels are oft ...
,
anime is Traditional animation, hand-drawn and computer animation, computer-generated animation originating from Japan. Outside of Japan and in English, ''anime'' refers specifically to animation produced in Japan. However, in Japan and in Japane ...
,
sci-fi Science fiction (sometimes shortened to Sci-Fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction which typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universe ...
-related, or similarly esoteric medium. At the end of his complaint he states "Bottom line, America..." as he grabs the handle of the recliner and shifts it back into an upright position to lean forward and point furiously at another camera centered on him to give his final geeky demands on the matter. Much of the humor of the sketch comes from the dry, emotionless manner in which Bernard delivers his "rage." A complaint about the TV show ''
Stargate SG-1 ''Stargate SG-1'' (often stylized in all caps, or abbreviated ''SG-1'') is a military science fiction adventure television series within Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's ''Stargate'' franchise. The show, created by Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner, ...
'' led to him getting small cameos on the show; whereas a complaint about the Japanese anime franchise
Robotech ''Robotech'' is a science fiction franchise that began with an 85-episode anime television series produced by Harmony Gold USA in association with Tatsunoko Production and first released in the United States in 1985. The show was adapted from ...
numerous DVD releases in the marketplace prompted a "response" from robotech.com about the complaint and an offer to send Bernard a free complete collection of the DVDs. In 2007, Bernard and O'Brien starred in a spin-off sketch entitled "Pierre Bernard: Serial Killer." The sketch had been inspired by Bernard's real life refusal to allow the show to tape a remote segment at his home focusing on his sizable action figure collection. Conan insisted that the only explanation for Bernard's reluctance to allow a camera crew into his home was that the graphic designer was, in fact, a serial killer. During the sketch, O'Brien interviewed Bernard in the manner of news magazine shows such as
Dateline NBC ''Dateline NBC'' is a weekly American television news magazine/reality legal show that is broadcast on NBC. It was previously the network's flagship general interest news magazine, but now focuses mainly on true crime stories with only occasio ...
, asking questions designed to implicate Bernard as a murderer. Initially, Bernard seemed reluctant but as the sketch went on he seemed to get more into the act. At one point, Bernard admitted that he did not describe himself as prolific because "I haven't been killing for very long." After the taped portion of the sketch, Bernard was wheeled on stage on a gurney wearing a muzzle similar to
Hannibal Lecter Dr. Hannibal Lecter is a Character (arts), fictional character created by the novelist Thomas Harris. Lecter is a serial killer who Human cannibalism, eats his victims. Before his capture, he was a respected Forensic psychiatry, forensic psychi ...
in '' The Silence of the Lambs''. Pierre Bernard moved with O'Brien on ''The Tonight Show'' to continue as a graphic designer and occasional performer, first seen on June 3, 2009.


Puppets and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

''Late Night'' made extensive use of puppets since the show's inception. For example, in one sketch, called "Puppet's Last Words Channel", a puppet scientist prepares to take a drink from a cup labeled "acid" and says, "I sure do love my morning cup of coffee." The acid melts the puppet's face. In another segment of the same sketch, a puppet exclaims to another puppet that she was born with both sets of genitalia. One recurring gag features "Vomiting Kermit", showcasing the Muppet retching streams of liquid from its mouth. Perhaps the most notable puppet, both on and off the show, is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. On June 19, 2009, Triumph crossed over onto ''
The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien ''The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien'' is an American late-night talk show that featured Conan O'Brien as host from June 1, 2009, to January 22, 2010, as part of NBC's ''Tonight Show'' franchise. O'Brien had previously hosted NBC's ''Late Ni ...
'', and would eventually cross over to ''Conan'' on TBS. Conan would later appear on ''
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon ''Late Night with Jimmy Fallon'' is an American late-night talk show hosted by comedian Jimmy Fallon. About pag ...
'' to ceremoniously retrieve Triumph, which had somehow been hiding behind one of the couches on the set. Before retrieving the puppet, Fallon asked Conan, "You were the host f Late Nightfor 16 years. Then...what happened?" Conan put his arm around Jimmy and said, "Don't you worry about that; you're a young guy!"


Robot on the Toilet

A classic sketch where Conan reveals the character who is then wheeled out on stage sitting on a porcelain toilet. After a few moments of silence, we suddenly hear the clang and clatter of metal falling into the toilet, followed by the robot raising its robot arms in celebration.


SAT Analogies

Conan helps students with their standardized exams by providing satirized SAT analogies based on current events. Although the newest SAT format introduced in 2005 has dropped analogies, the segment continues to be used in new episodes. A typical example: person who sees a pregnant woman : "you're glowing" :: person who sees a pregnant
Nicole Richie Nicole Camille Richie (; born September 21, 1981) is an American television personality, fashion designer, socialite, and actress. She came to prominence after appearing in the reality television series '' The Simple Life'' (2003–2007), in whi ...
: "who stuffed an avocado in that cocktail straw?" The sketch often ends with an analogy involving
Paris Hilton Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American media personality, businesswoman, socialite, model, and entertainer. Born in New York City, and raised there and in Beverly Hills, California, she is a great-granddaughter of Conrad ...
that makes a joke about her sexual history, for example: Final episode of "The Sopranos": lots of guys getting whacked resulting in messy loss of bodily fluids:: Paris Hilton: popular hotel heiress


Syncro-Vox

This sketch relies heavily on the low-budget filming method Syncro-Vox. A TV screen is lowered down to the seat where the interviewed would actually sit. On the screen is a still image of a celebrity, with live video of the mouth of the back stage impersonator superimposed—because of this method, the fake interviews are also called the "''
Clutch Cargo ''Clutch Cargo'' is an American animated television series created by cartoonist Clark Haas and produced by Cambria Productions, and syndicated beginning on March 9, 1959. The series was notable for its limited animation yet imaginative stories ...
'' routine", after the 1959 cartoon, that is the most widely remembered user of Syncro-Vox. Commonly impersonated celebrities are
Arnold Schwarzenegger Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger (born July 30, 1947) is an Austrian and American actor, film producer, businessman, retired professional bodybuilder and politician who served as the 38th governor of California between 2003 and 2011. ''Time'' ...
(who always tries to plug his 'smash hit holiday classic', '' Jingle All the Way'', and makes lame comebacks such as "YOU CAME OUT EIGHT YEARS AGO!"), George W. Bush,
Barbara Bush Barbara Pierce Bush (June 8, 1925 – April 17, 2018) was First Lady of the United States from 1989 to 1993, as the wife of President George H. W. Bush, and the founder of the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy. She previously w ...
(who is given the gruff voice of a man from New Jersey),
Bill Clinton William Jefferson Clinton (né Blythe III; born August 19, 1946) is an American politician who served as the 42nd president of the United States from 1993 to 2001. He previously served as governor of Arkansas from 1979 to 1981 and again ...
,
Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton ( Rodham; born October 26, 1947) is an American politician, diplomat, and former lawyer who served as the 67th United States Secretary of State for President Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013, as a United States sen ...
and
Martha Stewart Martha Helen Stewart (, ; born August 3, 1941) is an American retail businesswoman, writer, and television personality. As founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, she gained success through a variety of business ventures, encompassing pu ...
(either of whom if, nagged by Conan about a point she wishes to dismiss, will begin talking in a demonically deeper voice as her eyes glow red),
Michael Jackson Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009) was an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and philanthropist. Dubbed the " King of Pop", he is regarded as one of the most significant cultural figures of the 20th century. Over ...
,
Sammy Sosa Samuel Peralta Sosa (born November 12, 1968) is a Dominican-American former professional baseball right fielder. He played in Major League Baseball (MLB) for 19 seasons, primarily with the Chicago Cubs. After playing for the Texas Rangers and C ...
,
Barry Bonds Barry Lamar Bonds (born July 24, 1964) is an American former professional baseball left fielder who played 22 seasons in Major League Baseball (MLB). Bonds was a member of the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1986 to 1992 and the San Francisco Gian ...
,
Rafael Palmeiro Rafael Palmeiro Corrales (born September 24, 1964) is a Cuban-American former Major League Baseball first baseman and left fielder. Palmeiro was an All-American at Mississippi State University before being drafted by the Chicago Cubs in 1985. ...
,
Donald Trump Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is an American politician, media personality, and businessman who served as the 45th president of the United States from 2017 to 2021. Trump graduated from the Wharton School of the University of P ...
(who will frequently describe things with the adjective "Trump," proclaim his accomplishments to be "huge," and respond to Conan's correcting him with "you're fired!"),
Saddam Hussein Saddam Hussein ( ; ar, صدام حسين, Ṣaddām Ḥusayn; 28 April 1937 – 30 December 2006) was an Iraqi politician who served as the fifth president of Iraq from 16 July 1979 until 9 April 2003. A leading member of the revolutio ...
,
Tom Cruise Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (born July 3, 1962), known professionally as Tom Cruise, is an American actor and producer. One of the world's highest-paid actors, he has received various accolades, including an Honorary Palme d'Or and three Go ...
(who often shouts triumphantly and raises his fists or feet, in reference to his infamous " Couch Jumping Incident" on ''Oprah''),
Mike Tyson Michael Gerard Tyson (born June 30, 1966) is an American former professional boxer who competed from 1985 to 2005. Nicknamed "Iron Mike" and "Kid Dynamite" in his early career, and later known as "The Baddest Man on the Planet", Tyson is con ...
,
John Kerry John Forbes Kerry (born December 11, 1943) is an American attorney, politician and diplomat who currently serves as the first United States special presidential envoy for climate. A member of the Forbes family and the Democratic Party, he ...
and
Keith Richards Keith Richards (born 18 December 1943), often referred to during the 1960s and 1970s as "Keith Richard", is an English musician and songwriter who has achieved international fame as the co-founder, guitarist, secondary vocalist, and co-princi ...
. Most of the impressions are done by either Robert Smigel or Brian Stack. This bit was parodied, along with the entire show, on ''
Robot Chicken ''Robot Chicken'' is an American adult animated stop motion sketch comedy television series, created and executive produced for Adult Swim by Seth Green and Matthew Senreich along with co-head writers Douglas Goldstein and Tom Root. The write ...
's'' ''
Star Wars ''Star Wars'' is an American epic space opera multimedia franchise created by George Lucas, which began with the eponymous 1977 film and quickly became a worldwide pop-culture phenomenon. The franchise has been expanded into various film ...
'' special. O'Brien provided his own voice. Both Syncro-Vox and Desk Drive were later ripped off by the German late night show
Die Harald Schmidt Show ''Die Harald Schmidt Show'' ("The Harald Schmidt Show") was a German late-night talk show hosted on Sky Deutschland by comedian Harald Schmidt. The show first aired from 5 December 1995 to 23 December 2003 on Sat.1. Schmidt then moved his show to ...
.


Quackers

Quackers was a white
domesticated duck The domestic duck or domestic mallard (''Anas platyrhynchos domesticus'') is a subspecies of mallard that has been domesticated by humans and raised for meat, eggs, and down feathers. A few are also kept for show, as pets, or for their ornam ...
who first appeared on the August 6, 2007 show during a sketch. The sketch involved Conan nervously reacting to various band members shouting at him, only to learn they were being literal. For example, one band member shouted, "Conan, Duck!" and Conan dove for cover behind his desk, only to learn the band member was pointing out a duck was in the studio. Conan, noting the audience's apparently positive reaction to the duck, dubbed it Quackers. Two nights later, Quackers made a return appearance, during which the duck unexpectedly
defecated Defecation (or defaecation) follows digestion, and is a necessary process by which organisms eliminate a solid, semisolid, or liquid waste material known as feces from the digestive tract via the anus. The act has a variety of names ranging fro ...
on the studio floor and then rubbed its own beak in it as if eating, simultaneously prompting riotous laughter/howling from the audience and a horrified response from Conan, who referred to him as "Quackers the Shit-Eating Duck". The August 10 and September 4 shows included a "special announcement" about a new show coming to NBC, the family sitcom "Quackers the Shit-Eating Duck." Quackers also displays an ability to mug to the audience for applause. On the September 19 episode, Conan notes Quackers' popularity amongst viewers again and also mentions Quackers' popularity on YouTube. The episode also contains a clip of Quackers as an action star.


The ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' Lever

This sketch sprang from NBC's purchase of entertainment company
Universal Universal is the adjective for universe. Universal may also refer to: Companies * NBCUniversal, a media and entertainment company ** Universal Animation Studios, an American Animation studio, and a subsidiary of NBCUniversal ** Universal TV, a t ...
in early 2004, creating
NBC Universal The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) is an American English-language commercial broadcast television and radio network. The flagship property of the NBC Entertainment division of NBCUniversal, a division of Comcast, its headquarters are ...
. Conan noted that this purchase now allowed him to play clips from the show ''
Walker, Texas Ranger ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' is an American action crime television series created by Leslie Greif and Paul Haggis. It was inspired by the film '' Lone Wolf McQuade'', with both this series and that film starring Chuck Norris as a member of the ...
'' starring
Chuck Norris Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do, Brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. After serving in the United States Air Force, Norris won many martial arts championshi ...
without paying any
royalties A royalty payment is a payment made by one party to another that owns a particular asset, for the right to ongoing use of that asset. Royalties are typically agreed upon as a percentage of gross or net revenues derived from the use of an asset o ...
. The "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" was a prop lever which, when pulled, would cause a supposedly random clip from the TV show to play. The clips were nearly always taken out of context and usually involved either Norris performing some improbable feat of heroics, or a particularly despicable act of violence being committed by a villain. For example, one clip involved Walker tasting the dirt in a random patch of land and determining that a plane had crashed there. Another involved a villainous father (played by
Dan Lauria Daniel Joseph Lauria (born April 12, 1947) is an American actor, known for playing the role of Jack Arnold in ''The Wonder Years'' (1988–1993), Jack Sullivan on ''Sullivan and Son'' (2012–2014), and Al Luongo on '' Pitch'' (2016–2017). Ear ...
) exhorting a young boy to jump from a high ledge, insisting that he would catch the youth. Yet when the boy did jump the man stepped back allowing the child to hit the ground. The sketch would usually begin with Conan introducing the premise and then commenting that he did not intend to use the lever immediately, followed by his immediately pulling it. In most instances of the sketch, Conan would comment after at least one clip that the sketch was finished, after which he would pull the lever "one last time." After a clip is played, the camera would generally cut back to Conan for a, usually shocked, reaction. In late summer 2004, the bit seemed to have been retired as
Chuck Norris Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do, Brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. After serving in the United States Air Force, Norris won many martial arts championshi ...
walked in and fired a prop gun at Conan. Norris also revealed his own lever and pulled it, playing a clip showing him mock-fighting Conan with
martial arts Martial arts are codified systems and traditions of combat practiced for a number of reasons such as self-defense; military and law enforcement applications; competition; physical, mental, and spiritual development; entertainment; and the preser ...
moves in the back of the studio. The lever did return on occasion in 2005. Notably, the premise of the bit was technically incorrect, since ''Walker'' was owned by CBS,
Sony Pictures Television Sony Pictures Television Inc. (abbreviated as SPT) is an American television production and distribution studio. Based at the Sony Pictures Studios complex in Culver City, it is a division of Sony Entertainment's unit Sony Pictures Entertainme ...
, and a few other companies; ''Walker'' just ran on NBC Universal-owned
USA Network USA Network (simply USA) is an American basic cable television channel owned by the NBCUniversal Television and Streaming division of Comcast's NBCUniversal through NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment. It was originally launched in 1977 as Madi ...
at the time. One of the last and most popular clips to be shown was part of a "spring cleaning" segment where they were airing jokes which they had previously developed but had not aired before. With the Walker clip Conan insisted that they had been too scared to air it when they had originally discovered it, explaining "Once you see it. You'll understand why." The clip in question involved a young Haley Joel Osment informing the characters, in a rather cheerful manner, that "Walker told me I have
AIDS Human immunodeficiency virus infection and acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS) is a spectrum of conditions caused by infection with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), a retrovirus. Following initial infection an individual ma ...
." When the camera cut back to the studio for a reaction shot, Conan simply stood up, walked to a corner of the stage where he stood for a few seconds as the audience reacted in amusement and shock, and then returned to his seat where he nervously chuckled and wished to introduce a commercial break, though continued the 'Spring Cleaning' segment. The merger also led to the creation of two other short-lived triggers, a ''
Knight Rider ''Knight Rider'' is an American entertainment franchise created by Glen A. Larson. The core of ''Knight Rider'' is its three television series: the original ''Knight Rider'' (1982–1986) and sequel series '' Team Knight Rider'' (1997–1998) ...
'' pull chain, and a ''
Beverly Hills Cop ''Beverly Hills Cop'' is a 1984 American buddy cop action comedy film directed by Martin Brest, screenplay by Daniel Petrie Jr., story by Danilo Bach and Daniel Petrie Jr., and starring Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley, a street-smart Detroit cop ...
'' Theme button. Sometimes these were combined, such as playing the Beverly Hills Cop theme behind a Walker, Texas Ranger scene. In 2007, the lever returned, playing clips from B-grade 1970s/1980s Norris movies (a different movie each episode). This began with the '' Slaughter in San Francisco'' Lever (which was used during the April/May run of shows in San Francisco); ''
Breaker! Breaker! ''Breaker! Breaker!'' is a 1977 American action film directed by Don Hulette and starring Chuck Norris. Plot J.D. (Chuck Norris), a trucker from California, returns from the road to learn that an old friend was assaulted and paralyzed by Sergea ...
'', ''
A Force of One ''A Force of One'' is a 1979 American action martial arts film starring Chuck Norris, Jennifer O'Neill, Ron O'Neal, Clu Gulager and Bill Wallace. The film was directed by Paul Aaron and written by Pat E. Johnson and Ernest Tidyman and released b ...
'' and '' The Octagon'' have also been used. The lever also sparked its share of the Colbert/O'Brien/Stewart feud, once Norris started appearing with 2008 presidential candidate
Mike Huckabee Michael Dale Huckabee (born August 24, 1955) is an American politician, Baptist minister, and political commentator who served as the 44th governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007. He was a candidate for the Republican Party presidential nominati ...
and Conan took credit for the outcomes. In the penultimate episode of the show Conan claimed that the lever was the most requested skit on the show by fans. In 2010, during Conan's live '' Legally Prohibited'' tour, the "''Walker, Texas Ranger'' lever" was reintroduced, used in the shows by Conan as well as by guests. However, to avoid potential legal issues with NBC claiming use of intellectual property, the lever was rechristened the "Chuck Norris Rural Policeman Handle", and featured clips from ''Walker'' that were not used previously on ''Late Night'', with the exception of the aforementioned clip with Haley Joel Osment, which was featured at the end of every "Rural Policeman Handle" segment. The lever returned again four years later on Conan's current show on TBS when he traveled to Dallas from March 31 to April 3, 2014 on the last night. As he no longer worked for NBC, he instead showed different clips featuring Chuck Norris from ''Walker'' - the same clips showed during the ''Legally Prohibited'' tour - Again, with the exception of the clip with Haley Joel Osment, which was shown at the end of the segment. A digital version of the lever, built to work on
Google Chrome Google Chrome is a cross-platform web browser developed by Google. It was first released in 2008 for Microsoft Windows, built with free software components from Apple WebKit and Mozilla Firefox. Versions were later released for Linux, macOS, ...
browser, is available as a
extension


Nerding It Up For Pierre

In this bit, Conan tries to explain a popular news story to graphic designer Pierre Bernard (See "Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage" above) by relating current events to obscure events in various
anime is Traditional animation, hand-drawn and computer animation, computer-generated animation originating from Japan. Outside of Japan and in English, ''anime'' refers specifically to animation produced in Japan. However, in Japan and in Japane ...
or
science fiction Science fiction (sometimes shortened to Sci-Fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction which typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel uni ...
shows that Pierre understands and enjoys, such as ''
Battlestar Galactica ''Battlestar Galactica'' is an American science fiction media franchise created by Glen A. Larson. The franchise began with the original television series in 1978, and was followed by a short-run sequel series (''Galactica 1980''), a line of ...
''. A previous version of this sketch was "Dumbing It Down For La Bamba", where Conan would use basic, often childish language when describing current events to the band's trombonist.


Questions From The Audience

Conan reflects on the fact that he has had a long and varied career. He offers to field any questions from the audience on some of the celebrities he has met or any other interesting aspect of his life in show business. However the questions from the audience always relate to obscure topics such as how best to grow a plant or car maintenance advice. While Conan expresses disappointment that the question is not about his career, he is always able to give expert in-depth answers to the audience's queries.


60

A parody of the Fox series '' "24"''. "60" takes the premise of 24 to the extreme: each one second episode takes place in the same minute. The story revolved around Canadian Special Agent Chuck Aloo (
Andy Blitz Andrew Blitz (born June 28, 1971) is an American comedian, writer, producer and actor best known for his sketch comedy and writing work on the late-night talk show ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien''. He has received nine Emmy Award nominations. ...
) attempting to protect the
Prime Minister A prime minister, premier or chief of cabinet is the head of the cabinet and the leader of the ministers in the executive branch of government, often in a parliamentary or semi-presidential system. Under those systems, a prime minister is not ...
from a diabolical plot involving a sandwich with mustard in it.


"Andy's Little Sister, Stacy,"

The 1997 inaugural iteration of the running sketch was the first sketch written for the show by writer Brian Stack. In the skit,
Amy Poehler Amy Poehler (; born September 16, 1971) is an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and director. After studying improv at Chicago's Second City and ImprovOlympic in the early 1990s, Poehler co-founded the improvisational-comedy trou ...
, who was Stack's former colleague from their Chicago improv days, plays the 13-year-old younger sibling of O'Brien's sidekick,
Andy Richter Paul Andrew Richter (born October 28, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and talk show announcer. He is best known as the sidekick for Conan O'Brien on each of O'Brien's talk shows: '' Late Night'' and ''The Tonight Show'' on NBC an ...
, whose unrequited crush on O'Brien manifests in a range of emotion that runs "from adorable bashfulness to volcanic, homicidal rage." Stack would later say of Poehler in a 2021 ''
Washington Post ''The Washington Post'' (also known as the ''Post'' and, informally, ''WaPo'') is an American daily newspaper published in Washington, D.C. It is the most widely circulated newspaper within the Washington metropolitan area and has a large nati ...
'' interview, "I’ve always been in awe of her incredible talent, but seeing her, Conan and Andy ichterhave so much fun in that sketch is an especially wonderful memory for me and I’ll never forget it."


Artie Kendall the Ghost Crooner

The ghost of an old-fashioned lounge singer (played by Brian Stack) who worked in the studio during the 1930s when it was a radio studio. Kendall's song lyrics reflect antiquated views that offend Conan. Kendall later reveals he was killed by the
League of Women Voters The League of Women Voters (LWV or the League) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan political organization in the United States. Founded in 1920, its ongoing major activities include registering voters, providing voter information, and advocating for vot ...
, who, offended at Kendall's misogyny, made him dig his own grave before beating him to death with the shovel. Like Hannigan the Traveling Salesman, the old-timey tone of Artie Kendall was partially inspired by Stack's love of old movies like '' Thin Man'' and ''
My Man Godfrey ''My Man Godfrey'' is a 1936 American screwball comedy film directed by Gregory La Cava and starring William Powell and Carole Lombard, who had been briefly married years before appearing together in the film. The screenplay for ''My Man Godfre ...
''. Stack was also inspired by the fact that Rockefeller Center had been in operation since the 1930s, and that radio singer
Bing Crosby Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby Jr. (May 3, 1903 – October 14, 1977) was an American singer, musician and actor. The first multimedia star, he was one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century worldwide. He was a ...
had "sort of a dark side" in his personal life that did not appear in his onscreen persona. The numerous songs Kendall sings all have different lyrics, but each one has exactly the same melody and arrangement every time. (Which also happens to be exactly the same melody Bathtime Bob sang.)


Audience Interview

In this bit introduced in mid-2005, Conan says that because he's always interviewing famous celebrities, who endorse their latest movie/album/etc., he rarely gets an opportunity to talk to the audience, which he says he'd like to do. So, for a change of pace, he says he's going to go into the audience, pick out a random member, and ask them some basic question. However, the gag is that the audience member he "randomly" picks is always a celebrity, who faithfully reveals him/herself when Conan asks what their name is and who always sits on the first seat immediately right of the aisle of the back row in the far righthand section. They also happen to still endorse some product, or even a standard "latest work" as well. Some examples of guests include
Ted Danson Edward Bridge "Ted" Danson III (born December 29, 1947) is an American actor. He achieved stardom playing the lead character Sam Malone on the NBC sitcom ''Cheers'', for which he received two Primetime Emmy Awards and two Golden Globe Awards. He ...
,
Jerry Stiller Gerald Isaac Stiller (June 8, 1927 – May 11, 2020) was an American actor and comedian. He spent many years as part of the comedy duo Stiller and Meara with his wife, Anne Meara, to whom he was married for over 60 years until her death in 2015 ...
,
Alan Alda Alan Alda (; born Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo; January 28, 1936) is an American actor, screenwriter, and director. A six-time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award winner, he is best known for playing Captain Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce in the war co ...
,
Bob Saget Robert Lane Saget (May 17, 1956 – January 9, 2022) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, and television host. Saget played Danny Tanner on the ABC sitcom ''Full House'' (1987-1995), and reprised the role for its Netflix sequel '' Fuller ...
,
Jerry Springer Gerald Norman Springer (born February 13, 1944) is a British-American broadcaster, journalist, actor, producer, former lawyer, and politician. He hosted the tabloid talk show ''Jerry Springer'' between September 30, 1991 and July 26, 2018, an ...
,
Donald Trump Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is an American politician, media personality, and businessman who served as the 45th president of the United States from 2017 to 2021. Trump graduated from the Wharton School of the University of P ...
,
Mr. T Mr. T (born Laurence Tureaud, May 21, 1952), is an American actor. He is known for his roles as B. A. Baracus in the 1980s television series ''The A-Team'' and as boxer Clubber Lang in the 1982 film ''Rocky III''. He is also known for his ...
,
Fabio Fabio is a given name descended from Latin ''Fabius'' and very popular in Italy and Latin America (due to Italian migration). Its English equivalent is Fabian. The name is written without an accent in Italian and Spanish, but is usually accented ...
, and
Larry King Larry King (born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger; November 19, 1933 – January 23, 2021) was an American television and radio host, whose awards included 2 Peabodys, an Emmy and 10 Cable ACE Awards. Over his career, he hosted over 50,000 interviews. ...
.


Audience Talent

Conan goes into the audience and selects pre-picked audience members to show their unique talents, but the person's "talent" is obviously faked. Conan does not know who the people are going to be, and the audience does not know what their talent is until Conan reveals it. This was a very similar precursor to the Audiencey Awards.


Billy Tyler, the Kid No One Loves

A little boy named Billy Tyler would come out talking about all the hardships he has endured in his life. Each one more pathetic than the last. Finally, when Conan offers him words of encouragement and advice, Billy rejects it screaming "You're a loser!" and running off.


Cloppy

A depressed and suicidal horse whose name is a reference to the "clop-clop" sound he makes as he slowly walks offstage to shoot himself. In one interview, actor
Nicolas Cage Nicolas Kim Coppola (born January 7, 1964), known professionally as Nicolas Cage, is an American actor and film producer. Born into the Coppola family, he is the recipient of various accolades, including an Academy Award, a Screen Actors Gu ...
expresses his fondness of Cloppy. Subsequent editions of "Cloppy" have included mentions to Cage's endorsement of the sketch.


Conan and Max Hang Out

Conan introduces a moment of camaraderie between him and Max, then cuts to a scene of Conan in his dressing room. Max comes in and enthusiastically invites Conan to go somewhere, such as to lunch, to grab a beer, or to shop at the NBC store because it has great stuff. Conan happily agrees, but as soon as the two begin walking together they awkwardly do not speak to each other and look bored. The camera follows them like this down hallways and elevators until they reach their destination, at which point they quickly grab the food or drink and part ways. The destination may involve other sight gags; when Conan and Max visited the NBC store, Conan is seen shoplifting several items.


Conan Babies

Appearing in the show's early years on Friday nights, this sketch was introduced as the day's earliest Saturday morning cartoon (since, technically, the Friday night shows aired in the early hours of Saturday). The title was a take-off of Muppet Babies and the sketch itself was a parody of low-budget 1970s cartoons, featuring very limited animation of Conan, Andy, and Max as babies getting into adventures. Conan, Andy, and Max provided their own voices, and mouths, in the same Synchro-Voxed style as their Fake Celebrity Interviews. Most of Max's dialogue consisted of the word "caca" and each sketch would end with the three babies incongruously breaking out into song, à la ''
The Archies ''The'' () is a grammatical Article (grammar), article in English language, English, denoting persons or things already mentioned, under discussion, implied or otherwise presumed familiar to listeners, readers, or speakers. It is the definite ...
'' or ''
Josie and the Pussycats Josie and the Pussycats (sometimes simply known as The Pussycats) are a fictional girl group A girl group is a music act featuring several female singers who generally harmonize together. The term "girl group" is also used in a narrower sense i ...
''.


Conan's Diary

After interviewing an attractive female celebrity, Conan occasionally opens his "
Hello Kitty , also known by her full name , is a fictional Character (arts), character created by Yuko Shimizu, currently designed by Yuko Yamaguchi, and owned by the Japanese company Sanrio. Sanrio depicts Hello Kitty as an Anthropomorphism, anthropomorphi ...
" diary and writes about the interview while the celebrity remains in the interview chair. The audience and celebrity can hear a voiceover of what Conan is writing. Conan admires his own interviewing skills, then notes that he thinks the celebrity has a crush on him. The celebrity, feeling awkward, asks him to stop writing. Conan audibly notes that the celebrity is an "insane bitch", and finishes writing.


Conan Sings a Lullaby

Conan explains that many viewers are new parents trying to get their baby to sleep and he will help them, so he begins to sing a nice lullaby with the aid of his acoustic guitar "Bessie Lou" (also the name of his desk, guest chair, and couch) and then takes advantage of a baby's lack of understanding of language and mentions things adults would find horrible in a soothing way. After a while, Conan figures that his main audience is getting bored, so after telling the parents to turn the baby away from the TV, he starts showing humorous and sometimes violent pieces of footage. With the baby now asleep, Conan tells the parents to go have sex.


Dudez-A-Plenti

Conan decides to form his very own boy band following the success of the
Backstreet Boys Backstreet Boys (often abbreviated as BSB) are an American vocal group consisting of Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, AJ McLean, and cousins Brian Littrell and Kevin Richardson. Lou Pearlman formed the group in 1993 in Orlando, Florida. The gr ...
and the show
Making The Band ''Making the Band'' is an ABC/MTV reality television series that exists in separate iterations, each focusing on a specific music act. It spawned musical acts O-Town, Da Band, Danity Kane, Day26, and Donnie Klang. Except for the first iteration o ...
. He calls for an audition, in which he picks 5 buff young men: Elliot, Professor P, Iago, the Kid Man, and Samantha. In their first group meeting, they think of ideas for their first hit song, only to come up with the words "Baby" and "I Wish". This leads to their first "hit" single: ''"Baby, I Wish You Were My Baby"''. The group reunites one year later to record their first music video for a new song called "Awesome", which includes the word "awesome" 28 times according to Conan.


Emergency Guest

In this recurring skit during the show's early years, Conan announces to the audience that a regularly scheduled celebrity guest has unexpectedly cancelled their appearance at the last minute. In order to fill out the air time, Conan brings out the "emergency guest" which is a life sized mannequin in a large glass "break in case of emergency" box. After being placed into the guest chair and activated by Andy, the mannequin plays recorded messages which feature typical banter for late night talk show guests such as
name dropping Name-dropping (or name-checking or a shout-out) is the practice of naming or alluding to important people and institutions within a conversation,. story, song, online identity, or other communication. The term often connotes an attempt to impress ...
other celebrities he's seen at parties and requesting a clip from his latest movie be played. Conan frequently struggles to keep the conversation in-sync. The mannequin also reassures the audience that there's no need to panic. Often, the Emergency Guest malfunctions and needs to be deactivated before the interview is over. Conan then walks into the off stage hallway and breaks out the Emergency Emergency Guest, a minor celebrity such as
Nipsey Russell Julius "Nipsey" Russell (September 15, 1918 – October 2, 2005)Nipsey J. Russell, born September 15, 1918, died October 2, 2005. Social Security Administration. ''Social Security Death Index'' (Death Master File).U.S. Census, January 1, 1920, s ...
or
Joyce Brothers Joyce Diane Brothers (October 20, 1927 – May 13, 2013) was an American psychologist, television personality, advice columnist, and writer. She first became famous in 1955 for winning the top prize on the American game show ''The $64,000 Quest ...
who makes a cameo appearance


European Guy

Conan begins to discuss some political issue negatively affecting America, and is interrupted by Gustavo, a European who smugly and arrogantly points out Europe's superiority over America. He appears in strange clothing (particularly shoes) and frequently eats strange lollipops, all of which have stereotypically silly European-sounding names (Stolflucht, Flexenfüsser, ''etc.''), which he defends as superior to their American equivalents, in spite of their peculiar appearances


Friends of the Show

Conan is frequently visited by
Mr. T Mr. T (born Laurence Tureaud, May 21, 1952), is an American actor. He is known for his roles as B. A. Baracus in the 1980s television series ''The A-Team'' and as boxer Clubber Lang in the 1982 film ''Rocky III''. He is also known for his ...
,
Abe Vigoda Abraham Charles Vigoda (February 24, 1921 – January 26, 2016) was an American actor known for his portrayals of Salvatore Tessio in ''The Godfather'' (1972) and Phil Fish in both ''Barney Miller'' (1975–1977, 1982) and ''Fish'' (1977–1978 ...
, and James Lipton as themselves, who appear in bizarre situations on the show. Abe Vigoda is often poked fun of for his advanced age, fueled by the false reports of his death in the past. Memorable bits featuring Vigoda involve him being found in odd places by Conan, such as under the audience risers, being dressed up as a character such as "Vi
yoda Yoda () is a fictional character in the ''Star Wars'' universe, first appearing in the 1980 film ''The Empire Strikes Back''. He is a small, green humanoid alien who is powerful with the Force and is a leading member of the Jedi Order until ...
", and using the extra screen space afforded by the widescreen 16:9 HDTV format to shoot
baskets A basket is a container that is traditionally constructed from stiff fibers and can be made from a range of materials, including wood splints, runners, and cane. While most baskets are made from plant materials, other materials such as horsehai ...
, with Vigoda on one side of Conan and the basket on the other. Mr. T appears both in the show's regular segments, such as Celebrity Secrets, and in remotes, such as going to an apple orchard with Conan. Lipton typically appears to lend his serious acting abilities to humorous situations, such as a dramatic re-enactment of
Christian Bale Christian Charles Philip Bale (born 30 January 1974) is an English actor. Known for his versatility and physical transformations for his roles, he has been a leading man in films of several genres. He has received various accolades, including ...
's 2009 profanity-laced tirade towards a director of photography, with Lipton playing both Bale and the crew member.


The "Fun Hole" Guy

Conan gets interrupted by a man in the audience (played by Brian McCann) who wears a blue T-shirt with a sweater around his shoulders. He complains about lack of decency, takes the sweater off and storms off, revealing him wearing fishnet stockings, and a shirt that says "Fun Hole" on the back with an arrow pointing down to his
speedo Speedo International Limited is a distributor of swimwear and swim-related accessories based in Nottingham, England, known for its swim briefs. The company has roots in Australia but is no longer based there. Founded in Sydney in 1914 by Al ...
-clad
buttocks The buttocks (singular: buttock) are two rounded portions of the exterior anatomy of most mammals, located on the posterior of the pelvic region. In humans, the buttocks are located between the lower back and the perineum. They are composed ...
.


Good Priest, Bad Priest

Conan's
Catholic church The Catholic Church, also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the largest Christian church, with 1.3 billion baptized Catholics worldwide . It is among the world's oldest and largest international institutions, and has played a ...
pastors, Father DeCarlo and Father Kelly, would come on the show and subject Conan to an interrogation related to some sort of upcoming religious celebration (Such as why he does not have a manger for
Christmas Christmas is an annual festival commemorating Nativity of Jesus, the birth of Jesus, Jesus Christ, observed primarily on December 25 as a religious and cultural celebration among billions of people Observance of Christmas by country, around t ...
). Most of the time, they start to abuse Conan by bringing up his " touching himself" nightly. Father DeCarlo acts as the "Good Priest", asking questions calmly, while Father Kelly would act as the "Bad Priest", trying to intimidate Conan. Towards the end of the sketch,
Jesus Jesus, likely from he, יֵשׁוּעַ, translit=Yēšūaʿ, label=Hebrew/Aramaic ( AD 30 or 33), also referred to as Jesus Christ or Jesus of Nazareth (among other names and titles), was a first-century Jewish preacher and religious ...
enters, resulting in Conan exclaiming "Jesus Christ!", and tells the priests to leave Conan alone, and recruiting them on a more important mission, usually abusing figures such as
Santa Claus Santa Claus, also known as Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, Kris Kringle, or simply Santa, is a Legend, legendary figure originating in Western Christianity, Western Christian culture who is said to Christmas gift-bringer, bring ...
and the
Easter Bunny The Easter Bunny (also called the Easter Rabbit or Easter Hare) is a folkloric figure and symbol of Easter, depicted as a rabbit—sometimes dressed with clothes—bringing Easter eggs. Originating among German Lutherans, the "Easter Hare" orig ...
. The sketch ends with Jesus telling Conan and the crowd "You owe me one... you all owe me one!" In recent episodes Jesus has been joined by Mary (resulting in Conan yelling "Holy Mother of God!") and Joseph (resulting in Conan yelling "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!"), then the skit ends with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph going to the
Olive Garden Olive Garden is an American casual dining restaurant chain specializing in Italian-American cuisine. It is a subsidiary of Darden Restaurants, Inc., which is headquartered in Orange County, Florida. As of 2012, Olive Garden restaurants accounted ...
and running into God then awkwardly having a conversation about God being Jesus' real father.


Guest Autographs

Conan shows the audience some autographs supposedly from guests on his show. In reality, the fictitious autographs are often from celebrities who have appeared in
news News is information about current events. This may be provided through many different Media (communication), media: word of mouth, printing, Mail, postal systems, broadcasting, Telecommunications, electronic communication, or through the tes ...
or tabloids rather than on the program. The messages left by the celebrity often mock something unseemly the celebrity is currently known for or may even mock O'Brien in some way.


Guys That Make Fun of Conan's Name

In the first year of the show, Conan would occasionally point out that he has an unusual first name that often makes people think of
Conan the Barbarian Conan the Barbarian (also known as Conan the Cimmerian) is a fictional sword and sorcery hero who originated in pulp magazines and has since been adapted to books, comics, films (including '' Conan the Barbarian'' and '' Conan the Destroyer'') ...
. The show would then cut to four guys who stand around and make bad jokes about Conan's name, such as "Conan the vegetarian, hey, where's your salad?" or "Conan the
Yogi Bear Yogi Bear is an anthropomorphic animal character who has appeared in numerous comic books, animated television shows and films. He made his debut in 1958 as a supporting character in ''The Huckleberry Hound Show''. Yogi Bear was the first ...
-ian, hey, where's Boo-Boo?" For unexplained reasons, one of the four guys in the sketch would always nod in agreement, but never speak.


Instant Audience Member Upgrade

A take-off on the airline instant upgrade, Conan chooses two audience members and bumps them up to first class audience, where he gives them more comfortable chairs, a drink, a celebrity feature, a curtain to separate them from the economy class audience section, etc.


Kids’ Drawings

Conan references a recent studio visit from a local grade school class of children who sent in drawings of some of their favorite moments visiting the show. Conan reveals these crayon drawings for the first time for the audience, horrified by what the kids have decided to draw.


Moral Dilemma

Not seen since Andy Richter's departure (although he was barely involved), the bit involved Conan looking through the show's
Lost and Found A lost and found (American English) or lost property (British English), or lost articles (also Canadian English) is an office in a public building or area where people can go to retrieve lost articles that may have been found by others. Frequen ...
box, and finding something he wished he could keep. At that point, a devil would appear on Conan's shoulder to help him rationalize keeping the item. While he would acknowledge the logic behind the devil's reasoning, he would muse, "I can't help but wonder if there's another side to the argument." At this point, instead of the expected angel, a bear (an actor in a bear costume) would appear on Conan's other shoulder, announcing himself: "Hi, Conan, I'm your bear! Grrr!" Conan would ask the bear for his advice regarding the lost item, but the bear would only have bear-related advice to offer ("I don't know, but I can tell you that you should always check before sticking your nose into a beehive, for bears' noses are awfully sensitive to bee stings"). Usually, the bit would end with the devil getting one-upped in some way or another (in one such sketch, the bear turned out to be Conan's guardian angel in disguise).


No-Reason-to-Live Guy

Conan begins to talk about a mundane news piece or the guest line-up at his desk when he is interrupted by a man in the audience (played by Brian McCann). The man seems to have been misinformed and reacts to Conan's calm correctness in disbelief and yells, "There's no reason to live!" He then proceeds to run to the top of the audience area where a blue kayak is waiting, while yelling, "Where's my kayak?" He gets in the kayak and "paddles" it off-screen, at which point the scene cuts to a shot of a man in a kayak falling down an icy mountain. After this, another "audience member" usually rides off in a kayak in a similar way, or the first man comes back through the studio doors (sometimes in poor disguises), gets upset again (usually when Conan mentions how stupid the sketch is) and rides to his demise using another means of transportation, accompanied by related stock footage, again while yelling "Where's my ehicle" The sketch usually involves three different "deaths." In addition to the kayak, other means of transportation have included a train, a bike, a skateboard, balloons, a three bedroom house, and a car. This sketch evolved from a bit done a week or two before NBC broadcast the Torino Olympics where Brian McCann appeared on video as if he was reporting from the
Bobsled Bobsleigh or bobsled is a team winter sport that involves making timed runs down narrow, twisting, banked, iced tracks in a gravity-powered sleigh. International bobsleigh competitions are governed by the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Feder ...
run in Italy. He starts sliding down the course and Conan tries to tell him the course was not finished, based on news reports of the time that said Olympic officials were crunched for time to finish some of the venues. McCann says he cannot hear because of the noise of the bobsled then he says, "What's that?" and there is a quick cut to stock footage of a kayak falling down a snow-covered mountain. Then the show cuts back to Conan, who has his head in his hands as if embarrassed and the audience is howling in laughter at the absurd scene, especially after McCann's line: "Someone put me in a kayak!" When the next guest comments about the kayak, Conan says, "You try to find footage of a bobsled crashing that matches. It was the best we could do." For the record, the Olympic officials were putting finishing touches on the venues with only the nightly ceremonies park unfinished.


Patterns

Conan shows a series of images, and viewers have to figure out the progressive pattern that links them. For instance, "Squirrel, handyman, poorly guarded
insane asylum The lunatic asylum (or insane asylum) was an early precursor of the modern psychiatric hospital. The fall of the lunatic asylum and its eventual replacement by modern psychiatric hospitals explains the rise of organized, institutional psychiatry ...
,
Tom Green Michael Thomas Green (born July 30, 1971) is a Canadian-American comedian, show host, actor, filmmaker, podcaster, and rapper. After pursuing stand-up comedy and music as a young adult, Green created and hosted ''The Tom Green Show'', which a ...
: That's right, these are more and more likely to be missing a nut."


Pimpbot 5000

A robot that combines the technology of a futuristic android with the street-wise attitude of a 1970s
pimp Procuring or pandering is the facilitation or provision of a prostitute or other sex worker in the arrangement of a sex act with a customer. A procurer, colloquially called a pimp (if male) or a madam (if female, though the term pimp has still ...
. He always talks in rhymes that simultaneously reference his robotic and pimp nature: "I got a diamond studded watch/new transistors in my crotch."


Pleasing the Affiliates

Conan attempts to please local affiliates by responding to their fictional requests for positive mention


Polly the

NBC Peacock The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) is an American English-language commercial broadcast television and radio network. The flagship property of the NBC Entertainment division of NBCUniversal, a division of Comcast, its headquarters are l ...

Only seen in the first few seasons of the show, Conan has a discussion with Polly the NBC Peacock, which is actually just a cardboard cut out of an NBC peacock logo with a moving mouth. The sketch revolves around Conan discussing television programs airing the current week. When NBC shows are mentioned, Polly lavishes praise upon them, when non-NBC shows are mentioned, Polly criticizes them harshly. With Conan playing the
straight man The straight man is a stock character in a comedy performance, especially a double act, sketch comedy, or farce. When a comedy partner behaves eccentrically, the straight man is expected to maintain composure. The direct contribution to the ...
, Polly's comments get progressively more outlandish, such as claiming that "A lot of people don't know it, but
Tim Allen Timothy Alan Dick (born June 13, 1953), known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for playing Tim "The Toolman" Taylor on the ABC sitcom ''Home Improvement'' (1991–1999) and Mike Baxter on the ABC/Fo ...
's face spews dangerous radiation" during a discussion of ABC sitcom ''
Home Improvement The concept of home improvement, home renovation, or remodeling is the process of renovating or making additions to one's home. Home improvement can consist of projects that upgrade an existing home interior (such as electrical and plumbing), ...
'', or claiming that "Watching the show officially fulfills your requirement for jury duty" when discussing the legal drama '' JAG'' (which started on NBC before moving to CBS). The sketch usually ends with Conan suggesting the audience watch a non-NBC program, to which a flustered Polly replies, "It's in Spanish!"


Preparation H Raymond

In this sketch Brian McCann plays a large-eared man named Raymond with a
Prince Charles Charles III (Charles Philip Arthur George; born 14 November 1948) is King of the United Kingdom and the 14 other Commonwealth realms. He was the longest-serving heir apparent and Prince of Wales and, at age 73, became the oldest person to ...
-like appearance, who parades down the aisles passing out
Preparation H Preparation H is an American brand of medications that is made by Pfizer, used in the treatment of hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are caused at least in part by inflamed blood vessels, and most versions of Preparation H work by reducing inflammation in ...
to Conan's audience. While he possesses a common theme song, chorused by the phrase "Raymond's here to help....''oooooooohhh...''", Raymond's dialogue content is often related to current events such as the " roid" usage by pro baseball athletes or
Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is a national holiday celebrated on various dates in the United States, Canada, Grenada, Saint Lucia, Liberia, and unofficially in countries like Brazil and Philippines. It is also observed in the Netherlander town of Leiden and ...
, 2006. Often though, the sketch can be seen as a random assortment of ideas, all beginning and culminating with the distribution of Preparation H.


Queen Elizabeth Telephone Call

Conan receives a phone call from
Queen Elizabeth II Elizabeth II (Elizabeth Alexandra Mary; 21 April 1926 – 8 September 2022) was Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms from 6 February 1952 until Death and state funeral of Elizabeth II, her death in 2022. She was queen ...
to discuss a current issue. Her Majesty quickly gets off topic, and ends every comment by referring to Conan using random bisyllabic words, such as Coughdrop O'Branflakes.


Rude Audience Member

While Conan is introducing the second guest, the camera repeatedly cuts to one audience member, with each successive cut introducing attention-grabbing sound and visual effects. Conan becomes increasingly agitated, chastising the person as if he or she is purposely making it happen. After he threatens to call security, the camera stays on Conan, and it seems like the distraction is over. Finally, the audience member is shown in a much more exaggerated way (for example, on a giant screen behind Conan, or on the
Times Square Times Square is a major commercial intersection, tourist destination, entertainment hub, and neighborhood in Midtown Manhattan, New York City. It is formed by the junction of Broadway, Seventh Avenue, and 42nd Street. Together with adjacent ...
Jumbotron) that completely disrupts the show.


Satellite TV

Conan shares the extra channels that the large satellite dish on the roof of
30 Rockefeller Center 30 Rockefeller Plaza (officially the Comcast Building; formerly RCA Building and GE Building) is a skyscraper that forms the centerpiece of Rockefeller Center in the Midtown Manhattan neighborhood of New York City. Completed in 1933, the 66-s ...
fictionally picks up. Some channels have absurd titles like "Clive Clemmons' Inappropriate Response Channel" (this particular channel displayed clips of people making inappropriate and/or completely off-topic statements in everyday conversation, after which fictional British heavy metal guitarist Clive Clemmons plays a riff and exclaims "Inappropriate!" One example had a woman mention the quality of the office coffee, to which her co-worker responded "Thank God for
Saddam Hussein Saddam Hussein ( ; ar, صدام حسين, Ṣaddām Ḥusayn; 28 April 1937 – 30 December 2006) was an Iraqi politician who served as the fifth president of Iraq from 16 July 1979 until 9 April 2003. A leading member of the revolutio ...
!"). Others include a
pornography Pornography (often shortened to porn or porno) is the portrayal of sexual subject matter for the exclusive purpose of sexual arousal. Primarily intended for adults,
channel featuring "Max on Max action", in which Max Weinberg made love to a duplicate Max Weinberg; the "Sexual Harassment Skeleton Channel", wherein a skeleton gropes women in the workplace but always avoids getting fired, with the argument that he is "only a skeleton" and "doesn't even have muscles to move his arms." There is "Jar Barf", a program wherein food
jar A jar is a rigid, cylindrical or slightly conical container, typically made of glass, ceramic, or plastic, with a wide mouth or opening that can be closed with a lid, screw cap, lug cap, cork stopper, roll-on cap, crimp-on cap, press-on c ...
s with the middle of their lids cut out, and featuring added googly eyes, are shown vomiting their contents; the " Potato Judge TV", about a ruthless judge on the judicial bench; and the "Men Without Hats Channel" that features people in everyday situations singing about it to the
Men Without Hats Men Without Hats are a Canadian New wave music, new wave and synth-pop band, originally from Montreal, Quebec. Their music is characterized by the baritone voice of their lead singer Ivan Doroschuk, as well as their elaborate use of synthesizers ...
tune " Safety Dance". (One involved a man in an office singing "You can file if you want to/You can leave your friends behind/Because your friends don't file/And if they don't file then they're no friends of mine.")


The Slipnutz

A singing trio (
Andy Blitz Andrew Blitz (born June 28, 1971) is an American comedian, writer, producer and actor best known for his sketch comedy and writing work on the late-night talk show ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien''. He has received nine Emmy Award nominations. ...
,
Jon Glaser Jonathan Daniel Glaser (born June 20, 1968) is an American actor, comedian, and writer. He is best known for his work as a writer and sketch performer for many years on ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'', creating and starring in the Adult Swim s ...
, Brian Stack) who were inconveniently booked on the same show with Slipknot (and later as "They Might Be Slipnutz" with
They Might Be Giants They Might Be Giants (often abbreviated as TMBG) is an American alternative rock band formed in 1982 by John Flansburgh and John Linnell. During TMBG's early years, Flansburgh and Linnell frequently performed as a duo, often accompanied by a d ...
). Their routine involves them slipping and sliding on nuts scattered on the floor. They later promoted their greatest-hits album, which included the songs "Old West Cowboys Slipping on Nuts" and "Viking Raiders Slipping on Nuts". The band eventually broke up, with each member going solo. Their last appearance on the show included a tribute to the Slipnutz by Patti Smith, Coldplay, John Mayer, Los Labos, and Steve Winwood.


Spoiler Alert

Conan and Max talk about a recent film, TV, or book-related story, but find a way to keep from spoiling the ending, in case the show is
Tivo TiVo ( ) is a digital video recorder (DVR) developed and marketed by Xperi (previously by TiVo Corporation and TiVo Inc.) and introduced in 1999. TiVo provides an on-screen guide of scheduled broadcast programming television programs, whose fea ...
ed, or a viewer has not read the book. So Conan employs a spoiler alert system, which consists of two people standing in front of the camera, covering their ears and yelling incoherently "la la la la la! I'm not listening", the result of which is that the audience is unable to listen to what Conan and Max are discussing.


Hannigan the Traveling Salesman

A hat-wearing traveling salesman (played by Brian Stack) from the 1950s who bursts into the studio, addresses Conan as "little girl", and runs through a scripted sales pitch in an attempt to sell Conan unfunny jokes, sketch ideas and other useless home products. Hannigan was created at the suggestion of writer
Andrew Weinberg Andrew Weinberg (born 1976) is an American television writer, known for his work on ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' and ''The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien''. He is also a co-creator and co-writer of the television series ''Eagleheart (TV se ...
, who suggested that Stack play an "old-timey salesman". Stack wrote the sketches with Weinberg and Michael Koman, with whom he would later collaborate on the TV series Eaglehart. Hannigan's voice was inspired by Stack's appreciation for William Powell's Thin Man film series.


Unknown Colleges' Team Mascots

Conan presents about three or four fictional colleges' athletic teams' mascots. These mascots often have nothing to do with anything about the school's location or name. One mascot that always finds its way onto the segment is S&M Lincoln, a very disturbing version of
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln ( ; February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was an American lawyer, politician, and statesman who served as the 16th president of the United States from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. Lincoln led the nation thro ...
wearing a top hat and having a ball gag stuffed in his mouth, while being dressed in little more than leather S&M gear and being weighed down by heavy chains, while whipping himself with a
cat o' nine tails The cat o' nine tails, commonly shortened to the cat, is a type of multi-tailed whip or flail that originated as an implement for severe physical punishment, notably in the Royal Navy and British Army, and as a judicial punishment in Britain ...
.


What in the World?

Conan is shown an extremely magnified portion of a picture. He throws out a wild guess as to what he is looking at, at which point the picture is zoomed out a little. Conan tries again, although it's not yet evident what is depicted in the photo. It zooms out again, and the picture is now recognizable and seemingly mundane—for instance, a celebrity or other normal situation. The final time it zooms out, something unexpected or outrageous that had previously been out of frame is revealed. The opening audio cue for this bit is an annoying-sounding man saying, "What in the ''world''?" which Conan often asks not to have repeated, to no avail.


Annual sketches

* ''The State of the Show Address'' - An elaborate
parody A parody, also known as a spoof, a satire, a send-up, a take-off, a lampoon, a play on (something), or a caricature, is a creative work designed to imitate, comment on, and/or mock its subject by means of satiric or ironic imitation. Often its sub ...
of the
President of the United States The president of the United States (POTUS) is the head of state and head of government of the United States of America. The president directs the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the United Stat ...
' annual
State of the Union Address The State of the Union Address (sometimes abbreviated to SOTU) is an annual message delivered by the president of the United States to a joint session of the United States Congress near the beginning of each calendar year on the current conditio ...
delivered in place of the show's opening credits and monologue on the same night the President gives his speech. When Conan mentions that there will be no monologue that night, the audience will stand and burst into hearty applause, after which Conan replies, "You bastards." * ''Central Time Zone New Year's Countdown'' - Aired each
New Year's Eve In the Gregorian calendar, New Year's Eve, also known as Old Year's Day or Saint Sylvester's Day in many countries, is the evening or the entire day of the last day of the year, on 31 December. The last day of the year is commonly referred to ...
, ''Late Night'' was the only show to do a countdown to midnight for the
Central Time Zone The North American Central Time Zone (CT) is a time zone in parts of Canada, the United States, Mexico, Central America, some Caribbean Islands, and part of the Eastern Pacific Ocean. Central Standard Time (CST) is six hours behind Coordinate ...
of the United States, since the show's regular time slot begins before and ends after midnight Central Time. After the monologue, Conan does a fictional list of people who have died that year, starting with a celebrity who has faded into obscurity who many believe has died, and continuing with many outlandish and random celebrities who are obviously alive. Each year the ''Late Night'' staff creates a bit when the New Year begins. In 2003, the bit was announcer Joel Godard lying on a table while an Asian man wearing a
Speedo Speedo International Limited is a distributor of swimwear and swim-related accessories based in Nottingham, England, known for its swim briefs. The company has roots in Australia but is no longer based there. Founded in Sydney in 1914 by Al ...
lands on top of him at the stroke of midnight. In 2005, giant
papier-mâché upright=1.3, Mardi Gras papier-mâché masks, Haiti upright=1.3, Papier-mâché Catrinas, traditional figures for day of the dead celebrations in Mexico Papier-mâché (, ; , literally "chewed paper") is a composite material consisting of p ...
busts of
Chicago (''City in a Garden''); I Will , image_map = , map_caption = Interactive Map of Chicago , coordinates = , coordinates_footnotes = , subdivision_type = Country , subdivision_name ...
ans
James Belushi James Adam Belushi (; born June 15, 1954) is an American actor. He is best known for the role of Jim on the sitcom ''According to Jim'' (2001–2009). His other television roles include ''Saturday Night Live'' (1983–1985), '' Total Security'' ...
and
Oprah Winfrey Oprah Gail Winfrey (; born Orpah Gail Winfrey; January 29, 1954), or simply Oprah, is an American talk show host, television producer, actress, author, and philanthropist. She is best known for her talk show, ''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', br ...
inched slowly towards each other and "
French kiss A French kiss, also known as cataglottism or a tongue kiss, is an amorous kiss in which the participants' tongues extend to touch each other's lips or tongue. A kiss with the tongue stimulates the partner's lips, tongue and mouth, which are sens ...
ed" at the stroke of midnight. Earlier remotes had Conan going out to various remote locations in the Central Time Zone to celebrate the new year there. One bit had the remote correspondent already celebrating the new year in
South Bend, Indiana South Bend is a city in and the county seat of St. Joseph County, Indiana, St. Joseph County, Indiana, on the St. Joseph River (Lake Michigan), St. Joseph River near its southernmost bend, from which it derives its name. As of the 2020 United S ...
(which is in the
Eastern Time Zone The Eastern Time Zone (ET) is a time zone encompassing part or all of 23 states in the eastern part of the United States, parts of eastern Canada, the state of Quintana Roo in Mexico, Panama, Colombia, mainland Ecuador, Peru, and a small por ...
, one hour ahead of Central Time), but having to move to the Central Time Zone city of Hudson Lake, Indiana in a race against time in order to "correctly" celebrate the new year. The 2004 and 2005 celebrations also had O'Brien joined by a group of costumed revellers (representing various
Midwest The Midwestern United States, also referred to as the Midwest or the American Midwest, is one of four Census Bureau Region, census regions of the United States Census Bureau (also known as "Region 2"). It occupies the northern central part of ...
ern locales) including: :*
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln ( ; February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was an American lawyer, politician, and statesman who served as the 16th president of the United States from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. Lincoln led the nation thro ...
(
Springfield, Illinois Springfield is the capital of the U.S. state of Illinois and the county seat and largest city of Sangamon County. The city's population was 114,394 at the 2020 census, which makes it the state's seventh most-populous city, the second largest o ...
) :* A
Green Bay Packers The Green Bay Packers are a professional American football team based in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Packers compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member club of the National Football Conference (NFC) NFC North, North division. It ...
"
cheesehead Cheesehead is a nickname in the United States for a person from Wisconsin or for a fan of the Green Bay Packers NFL football franchise. Current usage Wisconsin is associated with cheese because the state historically produced more dairy produc ...
" fan :*
Dorothy Dorothy may refer to: *Dorothy (given name), a list of people with that name. Arts and entertainment Characters *Dorothy Gale, protagonist of ''The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'' by L. Frank Baum * Ace (''Doctor Who'') or Dorothy, a character playe ...
from ''
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz ''The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'' is a children's novel written by author L. Frank Baum and illustrated by W. W. Denslow. It is the first novel in the Oz series of books. A Kansas farm girl named Dorothy ends up in the magical Land of Oz after s ...
'' (
Kansas Kansas () is a state in the Midwestern United States. Its capital is Topeka, and its largest city is Wichita. Kansas is a landlocked state bordered by Nebraska to the north; Missouri to the east; Oklahoma to the south; and Colorado to the ...
) :*
Prince A prince is a male ruler (ranked below a king, grand prince, and grand duke) or a male member of a monarch's or former monarch's family. ''Prince'' is also a title of nobility (often highest), often hereditary, in some European states. Th ...
(
Minneapolis Minneapolis () is the largest city in Minnesota, United States, and the county seat of Hennepin County. The city is abundant in water, with thirteen lakes, wetlands, the Mississippi River, creeks and waterfalls. Minneapolis has its origins ...
) :* A
gaucho A gaucho () or gaúcho () is a skilled horseman, reputed to be brave and unruly. The figure of the gaucho is a folk symbol of Argentina, Uruguay, Rio Grande do Sul in Brazil, and the south of Chilean Patagonia. Gauchos became greatly admired and ...
from
Belize Belize (; bzj, Bileez) is a Caribbean and Central American country on the northeastern coast of Central America. It is bordered by Mexico to the north, the Caribbean Sea to the east, and Guatemala to the west and south. It also shares a wate ...
(Belize is in the same time zone as the Central US) The countdown did not air on New Year's Eve in both 2005-06 and 2006–07, as these dates were on Saturday and Sunday night respectively. NBC carried live specials with
Carson Daly Carson Jones Daly (born June 22, 1973) is an American television host, radio personality, Television producer, producer, and celebrity, television personality. Prior to 2003, Daly was a VJ (media personality), VJ on MTV's ''Total Request Live'', ...
on these occasions. Another such special aired for 2007-08 (a Monday night); a writer's strike meant ''Late Night'' could not have resumed its Central Time countdown that year in any event. By 2008-09, the Carson Daly specials had supplanted the special New Year's ''Tonight'' and ''Late Night'' episodes permanently (repeats of both shows followed the live special). *''Sweeps Ahoy'' - Airing during or just after each "
sweeps Nielsen Media Research (NMR) is an American firm that measures media audiences, including television, radio, theatre, films (via the AMC Theatres MAP program), and newspapers. Headquartered in New York City, it is best known for the Nielsen rat ...
month", this sketch airs bits and doctored footage of previous ''Late Night'' publicity stunts the show did to increase their ratings. *''World's Fastest Menorah and Other Holiday Icons'' - Usually shown for a period of 3–4 days after the annual lighting of the
Rockefeller Center Rockefeller Center is a large complex consisting of 19 commerce, commercial buildings covering between 48th Street (Manhattan), 48th Street and 51st Street (Manhattan), 51st Street in Midtown Manhattan, New York City. The 14 original Art Deco ...
Christmas Tree, Conan always mentions that so many people come to New York just to see the tree, usually adding things like, "It's just a tree! Big deal!" He then says something like, "Rockefeller Center might have their Christmas Tree, but we here at Late Night have the World's Fastest Menorah!" This summons the menorah, which sits on a platform pulled by a string by a stagehand, flying by the camera lever. Of course, the platform is not visible in the camera's field of vision. The menorah is accompanied by a quick excerpt of "Hava Nagila". As the week progresses, Conan introduces other holiday icons, which include a bungee-jumping Baby Jesus (accompanied by Handel's "Hallelujah"), a rocket-powered
fruitcake Fruitcake (or fruit cake or fruit bread) is a cake made with candied or dried fruit, nuts, and spices, and optionally soaked in spirits. In the United Kingdom, certain rich versions may be iced and decorated. Fruitcakes are typically served ...
(accompanied by
ZZ Top ZZ Top is an American rock band formed in 1969 in Houston, Texas. For 51 years, they comprised vocalist-guitarist Billy Gibbons, drummer Frank Beard and vocalist-bassist Dusty Hill, until Hill's death in 2021. ZZ Top developed a signature sound ...
's "La Grange"), and a
Kwanzaa Kwanzaa () is an annual celebration of African-American culture from December 26 to January 1, culminating in a communal feast called ''Karamu'', usually on the sixth day. It was created by activist Maulana Karenga, based on African harvest ...
kinara The kinara is a seven-branched candleholder used in Kwanzaa celebrations in the United States. History Shortly before the first celebration in 1966, Maulana Karenga searched for a candle holder with seven holes in which he and the other US O ...
in a pimped-out ride. *''A Look Back'' - Sometime around New Year's, a retrospective of the past year on the show. Conan and Max sit at a mini-bar on stage with party decorations, their ties undone, and recall their many adventures. :An alternate version is presented in the form of a
newsreel A newsreel is a form of short documentary film, containing news stories and items of topical interest, that was prevalent between the 1910s and the mid 1970s. Typically presented in a cinema, newsreels were a source of current affairs, informa ...
, with Joel Godard narrating events of the year over real footage, intercut with relevant Fake celebrity interviews from the past year.


During the 2007-08 writers' strike

In November 2007, a Writers Guild of America strike forced ''Late Night'' and other late night TV shows into reruns. The show would resume production on January 2, 2008; the strike still continued, however (it would not conclude until February 12, 2008), forcing the show to refrain from using any of its regular sketches or characters. As such, a small series of new sketches was devised to keep viewers entertained, or to just kill time. These sketches included the following: *Ring Spin - As he has done for years during rehearsals, Conan began spinning his wedding ring on his desk, attempting to break his record of 41 seconds. The closest he came was 40 seconds until the February 8, 2008 broadcast when, with the help of MIT professor Dr. Peter Fisher, he spun the ring for 51 seconds on a piece of teflon. On June 8, 2008, the bit appeared again, this time with Conan accepting a challenge from guest
Ted Koppel Edward James Martin Koppel (born February 8, 1940) is a British-born American broadcast journalist, best known as the anchor for '' Nightline'', from the program's inception in 1980 until 2005. Before ''Nightline'', he spent 20 years as a broad ...
. Conan won the challenge by a mere 3 seconds, with a total of 30 seconds against Koppel's 27. On November 6, 2008, scheduled guest
Katt Williams Micah "Katt" Williams (born September 2, 1971) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. He played Money Mike in ''Friday After Next'', had a stint on ''Wild 'n Out'', portrayed Bobby Shaw in ''My Wife and Kids'', provided the voice of A Pimp N ...
failed to show for his guest spot (it was later revealed he had been arrested on weapons charges). To fill some time, Conan performed a ring spin - saying that two historic events could happen within a 24-hour span. *German Disco Light Show - By pressing a button Conan starts a light show similar to one seen at a "bad German disco." This has been done several times using various musical tracks. *Guest Maze Entrance - To increase the length of time taken for celebrities to reach the desk, a short maze is erected between the entry point and the desk. An overhead camera shows the guests' progression through the maze. *
Who Made Huckabee? Who Made Huckabee?, also known as the Colbert/O'Brien/Stewart feud, refers to a mock rivalry that occurred among late night talk show hosts Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien and Jon Stewart in early 2008, reportedly over who was responsible for ...
- Conan had a recurring mock feud with
Comedy Central Comedy Central is an American basic cable channel owned by Paramount Global through its network division's MTV Entertainment Group unit, based in Manhattan. The channel is geared towards young adults aged 18–34 and carries comedy programming ...
hosts
Stephen Colbert Stephen Tyrone Colbert ( ; born May 13, 1964) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. He is best known for hosting the satirical Comedy Central program ''The Colbert Report'' from 2005 to ...
and
Jon Stewart Jon Stewart (born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz; November 28, 1962) is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. He hosted ''The Daily Show'', a satirical news program on Comedy Central, from 1999 to 2015 and now hosts ''Th ...
regarding who was responsible for the success of presidential candidate
Mike Huckabee Michael Dale Huckabee (born August 24, 1955) is an American politician, Baptist minister, and political commentator who served as the 44th governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007. He was a candidate for the Republican Party presidential nominati ...
. Conan noted that the popularity of Huckabee's high-profile supporter
Chuck Norris Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. He is a black belt in Tang Soo Do, Brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. After serving in the United States Air Force, Norris won many martial arts championshi ...
was the result of his own ''Walker, Texas Ranger Lever'' sketch, therefore "Conan made Huckabee." Colbert, on his show, then claimed that "Colbert made Huckabee" after giving him the "Colbert Bump." Following a series of cross-show statements, Conan, Colbert and Stewart each put forward increasingly farcical reasons why he was responsible for Huckabee's success, insulting their rivals in the process. Eventually, a large (and silly) fight scene amongst the three was staged on ''Late Night''. Huckabee himself appeared afterwards to state that none of "these three idiots" created him, but in fact the "great nation of the United States had created him". Conan, Stewart, Colbert unite in TV feud
The Associated Press The Associated Press (AP) is an American non-profit news agency headquartered in New York City. Founded in 1846, it operates as a cooperative, unincorporated association. It produces news reports that are distributed to its members, U.S. newspa ...
. Retrieved on 2008-02-05.
*Zipline - On January 14, 2008, Conan lived out one of his "dreams" by riding a zipline over his audience while wearing a helmet which shoots smoke out the back. Conan then asked viewers to send in suggestions on how to improve this stunt via http://www.latenightunderground.com. Two days later, Conan repeated the zipline this time with rockets strapped to his feet and crashing into large bowling pins. Another variation of this sketch is when he went down the zip line and knocked down
John Wilkes Booth John Wilkes Booth (May 10, 1838 – April 26, 1865) was an American stage actor who assassinated United States President Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theatre in Washington, D.C., on April 14, 1865. A member of the prominent 19th-century Booth th ...
as he was about to assassinate
Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln ( ; February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was an American lawyer, politician, and statesman who served as the 16th president of the United States from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. Lincoln led the nation thro ...
. *Crew Interview - Conan also filled in some of his episodes by interviewing ''Late Night's'' behind-the-scenes crew members, such as the propmaster or the special effects man, in which he would play around with the items in their workspaces, such as the breakable props.


Assassination

Conan invites a guest who supposedly is privy to an upcoming, well-kept secret, who suffers a simulated death before he can reveal what he knows. For example, shortly before the final episode of ''
Seinfeld ''Seinfeld'' ( ) is an American television sitcom created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. It aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, over nine seasons and List of Seinfeld episodes, 180 episodes. It stars Seinfeld as Jerry Seinfeld ( ...
'', an actor appearing on the show began talking about what the final episode would be about; a few words in, an assassin shoots him in the chest. On another occasion, Conan introduced a man who claimed to be a high-ranking executive with
Coca-Cola Coca-Cola, or Coke, is a carbonated soft drink manufactured by the Coca-Cola Company. Originally marketed as a temperance drink and intended as a patent medicine, it was invented in the late 19th century by John Stith Pemberton in Atlanta ...
, who was going to discuss the soda's secret ingredients. As the interview started, the "executive" fell dead after getting hit by
shuriken A ''shuriken'' ( ja, 手裏剣; literally: "hidden hand blade") is a Japanese concealed weapon that was used as a hidden dagger or metsubushi to distract or misdirect. They are also known as throwing stars, or ninja stars, although they were ...
, and a group of
ninja A or was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of a ninja included reconnaissance In military operations, reconnaissance or scouting is the exploration of an area by military forces to obtain information about enem ...
s with the Coca-Cola logo on their backs were shown running away from the stage. These sketches have not appeared on the show for several years.


Awful Sports Chanter

In response to an upcoming sporting or other spectator event, Conan advises that you should keep chants short and easy to follow. As an example of what not to do, a sports enthusiast (played by
Andy Blitz Andrew Blitz (born June 28, 1971) is an American comedian, writer, producer and actor best known for his sketch comedy and writing work on the late-night talk show ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien''. He has received nine Emmy Award nominations. ...
) is shown in the audience, and begins a standard chant for that event while clapping each syllable (such as "Let's Go Mets!"). However, instead of repeating the line, he expands it into a very long chant that begins supportive and usually ends up as a narrative of some sort, occasionally asking the audience to chant along as if it's easy to follow. Conan interrupts the chant to go to commercial as Blitz continues to chant up to the break.


Car Chases

Conan explains that television shows' ratings go up when they cut to a car chase in action. He tells the audience that ''Late Night'' will begin doing this, however there are no car chases in Manhattan due to traffic congestion. So ''Late Night'' stages their own "car chases". While played as if they are real car chases, they are executed using
Matchbox Phillumeny (also known as phillumenism) is the hobby of collecting different match-related items: matchboxes, matchbox labels, matchbooks, matchcovers, matchsafes, etc. Matchbox A matchbox is a box made of cardboard or thin wood and designed ...
style vehicles, and model buildings in the hallways of the show's backstage area. The toy cars are pulled by
fishing line A fishing line is a flexible, high-tensile cord used in angling to tether and pull in fish, in conjunction with at least one hook. Fishing lines are usually pulled by and stored in a reel, but can also be retrieved by hand, with a fixed attachm ...
as a camera gets a shot appearing to be from a helicopter. More recently, car chases have been shot when celebrities have encountered legal difficulties, including
Michael Jackson Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009) was an American singer, songwriter, dancer, and philanthropist. Dubbed the " King of Pop", he is regarded as one of the most significant cultural figures of the 20th century. Over ...
,
Paris Hilton Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is an American media personality, businesswoman, socialite, model, and entertainer. Born in New York City, and raised there and in Beverly Hills, California, she is a great-granddaughter of Conrad ...
and O. J. Simpson. The sketch has not been seen since early 2008.


Carl "Oldy" Olson

An old man portrayed for comic effect by William Preston similar to Larry "Bud" Melman from Late Night with David Letterman, though Oldy is somewhat frailer but more vulgar.


Conan O'Brien College Band Search

For a few years, ''Late Night'' held an annual college band search.


Conan's Legs

Conan explains how the show is trying to reach out and collect more viewers by taking a page out of the ''
Today Show ''Today'' (also called ''The Today Show'' or informally, ''NBC News Today'') is an American news and talk morning television show that airs weekdays from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. on NBC. The program debuted on January 14, 1952. It was ...
'' handbook. He explains that many Americans tune into the ''Today Show'' just to see
Katie Couric Katherine Anne Couric ( ; born January 7, 1957) is an American journalist and presenter. She is founder of Katie Couric Media, a multimedia news and production company. She also publishes a daily newsletter, ''Wake Up Call''. From 2013 to 2017, ...
's legs. The front of his desk is removed, revealing feminine legs. He continues by doing a few camera tricks such as moving his legs, bouncing a ball, and even shaving them. In actuality, the front of the desk is covered by a
greenscreen Chroma key compositing, or chroma keying, is a visual-effects and post-production technique for compositing (layering) two images or video streams together based on colour hues ( chroma range). The technique has been used in many fields to r ...
substituted by a shot of a woman's legs recorded live offstage. The audience is presumed to understand the special effect, leading O'Brien to attempt to sync more complex actions with those of the offstage actress, or sometimes to intentionally fool her. The sketch stopped some time before Couric eventually left ''Today'' to anchor the ''
CBS Evening News The ''CBS Evening News'' is the flagship evening television news program of CBS News, the news division of the CBS television network in the United States. The ''CBS Evening News'' is a daily evening broadcast featuring news reports, feature s ...
''.


Continuity Errors

Conan and Andy review a recent broadcast for errors, discovering inconsistencies that no one seemed to have caught, such as Conan suddenly having a receding hairline or wearing a bib while eating a giant pie.


Frankenstein Wastes a Minute of Our Time

Frankenstein's monster Frankenstein's monster or Frankenstein's creature, often referred to as simply "Frankenstein", is a fictional character who first appeared in Mary Shelley's 1818 novel ''Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus''. Shelley's title thus compares ...
(played by writer Brian Stack) appears by one of the doors leading from the main set, acting excited about something, and inviting the cameraman (and the audience, vicariously) to come with him to take a look. He makes a long trek around the backstage area, stopping along the way to wave the cameraman to keep following. Invariably, what he finds is extremely mundane like a spatula, although it is usually near something that is considerably more interesting, and Conan assumes that is the item Frankenstein led the camera to. Frankenstein once found
Tom Hanks Thomas Jeffrey Hanks (born July 9, 1956) is an American actor and filmmaker. Known for both his comedic and dramatic roles, he is one of the most popular and recognizable film stars worldwide, and is regarded as an American cultural icon. Ha ...
(who was not a guest on that night's episode) during the sketch, and pushed him out of the way to show off a light switch. (Hanks then immediately reentered the frame to join in pointing out the light switch with great enthusiasm.) The joke format is extremely similar to a
shaggy dog story In its original sense, a shaggy dog story or yarn is an extremely long-winded anecdote characterized by extensive narration of typically irrelevant incidents and terminated by an anticlimax. Shaggy dog stories play upon the audience's precon ...
. NBC owns Universal, and the character's makeup design and the sketch title's logo resemble the ones from the classic Universal films are no coincidence.


The Hole In The Floor

There is a hole in the floor in front of Conan's desk. Conan throws objects through it and generally hassles an
office worker A white-collar worker is a person who performs professional, desk, managerial, or administrative work. White-collar work may be performed in an office or other administrative setting. White-collar workers include job paths related to government, ...
below. The hole is created using bluescreen technology.


Jerry Butters

Jerry Butters (played by Brian McCann) is a talentless talk show host with his own early-morning show down the hall. His set is bland and reminiscent of a 1970s talk show with fake palms and dull brown colors. Jerry will interrupt Conan's show in the style of a suburban neighbor who initially wants to just have a friendly chat, but eventually needs a favor or some advice for a particular problem he is facing in his current show. Such problems in the past have included Abe Vigoda dying midway through an interview (after Jerry had asked him which was a better experience, his part in
The Godfather ''The Godfather'' is a 1972 American crime film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, who co-wrote the screenplay with Mario Puzo, based on Puzo's best-selling 1969 novel of the same title. The film stars Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, ...
or the children's comedy
Good Burger ''Good Burger'' is a 1997 American comedy film directed by Brian Robbins and written by Dan Schneider with Kevin Kopelow and Heath Seifert. Starring Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell, it is based on the comedy sketch of the same name on the Nick ...
). He also invariably promotes his own show by addressing Conan's audience with the line "It's on at four in the morning... so check it out!".


Krunk

During the first two seasons of the show, beginning in early 1994, O'Brien encouraged guests to insert the word krunk, a fictional expletive with multiple uses invented by the show's writers that "the censors don't quite know what to do with yet", into their conversations.


Mick Ferguson, The Guy Who's Awfully Proud of his Bullet Proof Legs

Long-time staff writer Brian McCann, in a mock-
Vaudeville Vaudeville (; ) is a theatrical genre of variety entertainment born in France at the end of the 19th century. A vaudeville was originally a comedy without psychological or moral intentions, based on a comical situation: a dramatic composition ...
dance, sings "''Oh I got bulletproof legs, I got bullet proof legs, oh ya can't hurt me cuz I have bullet proof legs! Oh they cost me a fortune but ya don't....''" Invariably, a shadowy figure pulls out a gun and shoots him in the chest, which apparently is not bulletproof. In the second incarnation of it, the same man is standing on the screen and Mick implores Conan to get rid of him because he shot him before. Conan has a security guy come out and check the figure over stating that he does not have a weapon. Relieved Mick begins his song and dance again, only to have the Security guy pull out a gun and shoot him in the chest. Another incident has the security guard and a search dog guarding Mick. After Conan calms Mick's fears of the security guard by vouching for him, the search dog pulls a gun and shoots Mick in the chest. The camera then switches to Conan, who looks into it and says, "''We're gonna get to the bottom of this.''"


The More You Know

These are spoofs of the famous NBC public service announcements. They were used frequently in earlier years, especially when Andy Richter was still Conan's sidekick. These sketches would begin seemingly innocently, but would quickly devolve into parody, usually involving dark themes. For example, in one such sketch, Max Weinberg commands: "Sometimes condoms break; deal with it, missy!"


Segue Sam

When Conan struggled for the right words to preview the next guest, he called on the services of Segue Sam, portrayed by
Jon Glaser Jonathan Daniel Glaser (born June 20, 1968) is an American actor, comedian, and writer. He is best known for his work as a writer and sketch performer for many years on ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'', creating and starring in the Adult Swim s ...
. The impeccably dressed and debonair Sam was pulled into the studio by a butler as he reclined on a couch. Sam invariably was able to provide a witty, smooth segue to the next guest.


Staring Contest

A famous skit held while Andy Richter still served as O'Brien's sidekick. An homage to the game show ''
Make Me Laugh ''Make Me Laugh'' was an American television game show in which contestants watch three stand-up comedians performing their acts, one at a time, earning one dollar for every second that they could make it through without laughing. Each comedian ha ...
'', Richter (unlike O'Brien) would be subjected to a series of purely physical-comedy skits taking place behind O'Brien, usually insulting and disgusting, which would eventually force Richter to look away. On the last episode Richter served as sidekick, the show subjected O'Brien to the skits instead; this was the only time Richter ever won the staring contest. The two tied after one competition in which, as a distraction,
Albert Einstein Albert Einstein ( ; ; 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955) was a German-born theoretical physicist, widely acknowledged to be one of the greatest and most influential physicists of all time. Einstein is best known for developing the theory ...
was inspired by a large-breasted woman in a bikini to add the "squared" to his theory of
special relativity In physics, the special theory of relativity, or special relativity for short, is a scientific theory regarding the relationship between space and time. In Albert Einstein's original treatment, the theory is based on two postulates: # The laws o ...
, and Andy and Conan joined them in a celebratory dance.


Tomorry the Ostrich

During the break between the first and second guest, Tomorry the ostrich would come out to deliver the blue card with a list of tomorrow night's guests. Tomorry would lay an egg containing the card. Tomorry was a large ostrich with a long, solid neck that members of the audience often pulled on as Tomorry passed by.


Nobody's Watching

This is a series of sketches that ran over the course of a week or two during the summer of the early years of the 2000s. NBC still had the rights to the
NBA Finals The NBA Finals is the annual championship series of the National Basketball Association (NBA). The Eastern and Western Conference champions play a best-of-seven game series to determine the league champion. The team that wins the series is a ...
which would air during primetime hours and subsequently push back the late night programming depending on how long the games ran. On some occasions, ''Late Night'' would air as late as an hour after it is normal time. In these cases, Conan would explain to the audience that it was currently 2 A.M. or later, keeping with the running joke that his show was live and not recorded earlier in the day, and therefore, "nobody's watching." The host would use this an excuse to show low-budget commercials of spoof products that were supposedly sponsors or local businesses. No longer continued.


Conan of the Night

Seen limitedly in the early part of the 2000s these sketches began with Conan putting on a fake mustache, using a cheesy Spanish accent, and playing out a film noire-style sketch in which a murder was investigated or caused. One such sketch ended with the mustachioed Conan "throwing" a knife into Max's chest..


Monologue digressions

*Awkward Throws to Max Weinberg - Conan usually begins his monologue by saying "We've got a good show tonight, isn't that right Max?" to which Max replies in an intentionally
nonchalant Tanya Pointer, also known as Nonchalant ( born October 18, 1970) is an American female rapper, and songwriter from Washington, D.C. who was signed to MCA Records. Nonchalant is best known as Nassim for her hit single " 5 O'Clock", which peake ...
tone, "Yeah", then usually shrugs. One such awkward throw started with Max saying, "Mmm-hmmmm" in a satisfied matter, prompting Conan to blurt out, "I didn't ask, 'How's the rice,
Uncle Ben Benjamin Franklin Parker, usually referred to as Uncle Ben, is a fictional character appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics, usually in association with the superhero Spider-Man. He is the husband of May Parker and the pa ...
?'!" *"Donald Trump Impression" - Conan's impression of Donald Trump has him tugging on his hair, sucking his cheeks in, using Trump's
catch phrase A catchphrase (alternatively spelled catch phrase) is a phrase or expression recognized by its repeated utterance. Such phrases often originate in popular culture and in the arts, and typically spread through word of mouth and a variety of mass ...
, ''"You're fired!"'' and performing Trump's python hand move as
The Max Weinberg 7 Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band was the house band for Conan O'Brien's late-night talk show '' Conan'' from its debut on November 8, 2010 to the final episode of its 60-minute format October 4, 2018. Guitarist and arranger Jimmy Vivino ...
plays the intro to
The O'Jays The O'Jays are an American R&B group from Canton, Ohio, formed in 1958 and originally consisting of Eddie Levert, Walter Lee Williams, William Powell, Bobby Massey, and Bill Isles. The O'Jays made their first chart appearance with the minor hi ...
' "
For the Love of Money "For the Love of Money" is a soul/funk song that was written and composed by Kenneth Gamble, Leon Huff, and Anthony Jackson; it was recorded by Philadelphia soul group The O'Jays for the album ''Ship Ahoy.'' Produced by Gamble and Huff for Phi ...
", which is used as the theme song to Trump's NBC show ''
The Apprentice ''The Apprentice'' is a Reality competition, reality talent game show franchise originally aired in 2004 in the United States. Created by U.S.-based British producer Mark Burnett, the show depicts contestants from around the country with variou ...
''. This bit is usually performed any time that Trump is mentioned, whether in the monologue or in interviews or comedy sketches. Conan has performed this bit with Donald Trump himself present in the studio on more than one occasion. *Eating a Tear - Conan sometimes will say something that will cause him to shed, and then eat, a tear. This is pantomimed by running a finger from his eye down his cheek to his mouth. *"I'm-a Gonna Go to Hell When I Die" - a rousing gospel-styled song, started on November 12, 2004, that has no lyrics other than its title and is always accompanied by a rhythmic clapping beat. The audience will usually start clapping along, causing Conan to exclaim, "Don't clap along to that, that's terrible!" Occasionally, Conan has recycled the tune with a new title/lyric, notably "I Had an Unhappy Childhood and You Have to Pay". This is often sung by Conan after the audience finds one of his jokes distasteful, many times when referring to
Star Jones Starlet Marie Jones (born March 24, 1962), better known as Star Jones, is an American lawyer, journalist, television personality, fashion designer, author, and women's and diversity advocate. She is best known as one of the first co-hosts on the ...
. Another variation, sung in a different tune, is "I'll Be Beaten to Death When I Leave Tonight". *The Shark Attack - Conan leaves the screen, crouches down just enough and walks past the camera so that only his red pompadour is visible. *International Symbol for Larry King - Conan pretends to pull suspenders away from his body, then makes spectacles with his thumbs and forefingers. He then explains that this is the International Symbol for Larry King, comparing it to the equivalent for choking. *"Keep cool, my babies!" - Often spoken immediately before his monologue as a response to thunderous applause, Conan will utter this phrase in order to calm his excited audience. "Keep cool, my babies!" is often followed by "The String Dance" (see entry below). *"The Late Night Cat" - Conan jumps out of the frame and disappears (with a whooshing sound, as in Miscellaneous Pantomiming below) for a few seconds before reappearing extremely close to the camera, out of focus, and hissing at it in a feline manner (complete with "claws" extended). This usually occurs when the studio audience dislikes a joke told in the monologue. *Smoothing the Eyebrows - Conan quickly licks the tips of the index and pinkie fingers of one hand, and uses them simultaneously to smooth his eyebrows. *I love you too, sir - If an audience member screams something (often admirable) at Conan, he makes a joke such as, "I love you too, sir" or "It's nice of my dad for coming." *Making fun of LaBamba - Conan sometimes looks over toward band member
Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg is an American trombonist originating from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is a former member of the house band on Conan O'Brien's late-night talk shows. Early life Rosenberg became a trombonist when his junior high in ...
when there is a
homosexual Homosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality is "an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions" to peop ...
or unsavory reference in the monologue. LaBamba usually reacts by staring back at Conan with a bemused, disappointed, or "deflated" look on his face and/or shaking his head. Conan usually proceeds to explain that LaBamba would not be surprised by the reference if he would just attend the rehearsal. *Miscellaneous Pantomiming - Conan will duck in and out of frame, while making a whooshing sound. *"Making Fun of Products" - Conan will mock a certain product or brand. He then asks the producer if said brand is a sponsor. The producer answers "yes" before Conan lets off an uncomfortable laugh. *"Nerd Impression" - When nerds are mentioned in Conan's monologue (such as in the context of "
Star Wars ''Star Wars'' is an American epic space opera multimedia franchise created by George Lucas, which began with the eponymous 1977 film and quickly became a worldwide pop-culture phenomenon. The franchise has been expanded into various film ...
/
Star Trek ''Star Trek'' is an American science fiction media franchise created by Gene Roddenberry, which began with the eponymous 1960s television series and quickly became a worldwide pop-culture phenomenon. The franchise has expanded into vari ...
/
The Lord of the Rings ''The Lord of the Rings'' is an epic high-fantasy novel by English author and scholar J. R. R. Tolkien. Set in Middle-earth, intended to be Earth at some time in the distant past, the story began as a sequel to Tolkien's 1937 children's boo ...
/
The Matrix ''The Matrix'' is a 1999 science fiction action film written and directed by the Wachowskis. It is the first installment in ''The Matrix'' film series, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, and Joe Pantolia ...
nerds"), he sometimes alters his voice to sound like a "nerd" criticizing Conan for that joke. This usually involves pushing his "glasses" up the bridge of his nose, wagging his finger, bucking his teeth, waving an invisible lightsaber, using sci-fi related quotes, or saying something like, "How dare you", or "I'll get you, Conan O'Brien!" and pushing the buttons on an invisible calculator. On ''Tonight'', he has added turnings of a
Rubik's Cube The Rubik's Cube is a Three-dimensional space, 3-D combination puzzle originally invented in 1974 by Hungarians, Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture Ernő Rubik. Originally called the Magic Cube, the puzzle was licensed by Rubik t ...
. Coinciding with the release of ''
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ''Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'' is a fantasy novel written by British author J. K. Rowling and the sixth and penultimate novel in the ''Harry Potter'' series. Set during Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts, the novel explores th ...
'' in theaters, Conan has placed an invisible sorcerer's hat on his head and drawn the lightning bolt on his forehead (as if he were
Harry Potter ''Harry Potter'' is a series of seven fantasy literature, fantasy novels written by British author J. K. Rowling. The novels chronicle the lives of a young Magician (fantasy), wizard, Harry Potter (character), Harry Potter, and his friends ...
), then waves an invisible wand while saying in his nerd voice, "I strike at thee!" *"The String Dance" - Conan mimes attaching strings to his hips and pulls them, shaking his hips back and forth until he "cuts" one of the strings, dropping the "attached" hip. The string dance is customarily performed before the
monologue In theatre, a monologue (from el, μονόλογος, from μόνος ''mónos'', "alone, solitary" and λόγος ''lógos'', "speech") is a speech presented by a single character, most often to express their thoughts aloud, though sometimes a ...
during the audience applause, or during the
monologue In theatre, a monologue (from el, μονόλογος, from μόνος ''mónos'', "alone, solitary" and λόγος ''lógos'', "speech") is a speech presented by a single character, most often to express their thoughts aloud, though sometimes a ...
, but Conan has also performed the dance at the request of guests.
Jim Carrey James Eugene Carrey (; born January 17, 1962) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian and artist. Known for his energetic slapstick performances, Carrey first gained recognition in 1990, after landing a role in the American sketch comedy t ...
also chose to perform his own version of the string dance on his appearance in December 2005.
Justin Timberlake Justin Randall Timberlake (born January 31, 1981) is an American singer, songwriter, and actor. He is one of the world's best-selling music artists, with sales of over 88 million records. Timberlake is the recipient of numerous awards and ac ...
, Ice-T,
MC Hammer Stanley Kirk Burrell (born March 30, 1962), better known by his stage name MC Hammer (or simply Hammer), is an American rapper, dancer, record producer and entrepreneur. He is known for hit songs such as " U Can't Touch This", "2 Legit 2 Quit" ...
, The Rock,
Paula Abdul Paula Julie Abdul (born June 19, 1962) is an American singer, dancer, choreographer, actress, and television personality. She began her career as a cheerleader for the Los Angeles Lakers at the age of 18 and later became the head choreograph ...
, Usher, Matt Bluhm,
John Tesh John Frank Tesh (born July 9, 1952) is an American pianist and composer of pop music, as well as a radio host and television presenter. He hosts the ''Intelligence for Your Life'' radio show. In addition, since 2014, he has hosted ''Intelligen ...
, and
Christina Applegate Christina Applegate (born November 25, 1971) is an American actress. As a child actress, she gained recognition for starring as Kelly Bundy in the Fox sitcom '' Married... with Children'' (1987–1997). Applegate established a successful film an ...
have also performed the dance.
Houston Texans The Houston Texans are a professional American football team based in Houston. The Texans compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member club of the American Football Conference (AFC) AFC South, South division, and play their home ga ...
wide receiver
David Anderson David Anderson may refer to: People In academia or science *David Anderson (academic) (born 1952), American college professor *David Anderson (engineer) (1880–1953), Scottish civil engineer and lawyer *David Anderson, 2nd Viscount Waverley (1911 ...
performed it as a touchdown celebration during the 2008 season. In the epilogue of the February 12, 2009 episode of
Comedy Central Comedy Central is an American basic cable channel owned by Paramount Global through its network division's MTV Entertainment Group unit, based in Manhattan. The channel is geared towards young adults aged 18–34 and carries comedy programming ...
's ''
The Colbert Report ''The Colbert Report'' ( ) is an American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by Stephen Colbert that aired four days a week on Comedy Central from October 17, 2005, to December 18, 2014, for 1,447 episodes. The show focuse ...
'', host
Stephen Colbert Stephen Tyrone Colbert ( ; born May 13, 1964) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. He is best known for hosting the satirical Comedy Central program ''The Colbert Report'' from 2005 to ...
"stole" Conan's strings in retribution for Conan's departure from New York to Los Angeles. As "ransom" for the strings, Colbert demanded Conan's return to New York. On February 18, 2009 Conan's opening monologue expressed disdain over Colbert's theft of the string dance and openly challenged him to the rights of the dance. Colbert then emerged from backstage to the surprise of the audience. The audience responded with a mix of ecstatic cheering and mock jeering for Colbert and encouraged a string dance-off. Colbert "won" by "tying" string around Conan. *Unusual Audience Reactions - Conan is always amused by, and makes fun of, the unusual reactions of his audience to some of his monologue jokes. The most common reaction is a horrified/angry "booing", morphing into "polite laughter and applause", which Conan admits is his favorite reaction. Another audience reaction is delayed laughter to a punchline, sometimes sparking Conan's "Delayed reaction always creeps me out" song, in the style of "I'm-a Gonna Go to Hell When I Die". *Anna Nicole Smith Impression - Conan imitates her nonsensical mutterings, drug-induced wandering, and outbursts. He will wander back and forth in front of the camera, muttering, and finally jumps out with the "cat hiss", also seen in the Late Night Cat digression. Not seen since her death. *Geraldo Rivera Impression - When there's a news story or any reference to news personality Geraldo Rivera, Conan often places his index finger across his upper lip, denoting a mustache. *Tom Selleck Impression - Similar to the Geraldo Rivera impression except Conan places two fingers across his upper lip to convey a thicker mustache. *Arnold Schwarzenegger Impression - When a topic comes up referring to the actor, Conan will often put on an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, speak in a pseudo-Germanic language, pretend to eat a giant sausage (Conan claims he "likes his Arnold to be eating a sausage at the end") while flexing his muscles and giving a "death-stare" to the audience. *George W. Bush Impression - When there's a news story or any reference to President George W. Bush, Conan will often look away from the camera, as if distracted by something, then look straight back at the camera with a confused look on his face, exclaiming "Huh?" *Congress/Parliament applause - If one of his jokes gets lukewarm applause, Conan will liken it to members of Congress or Parliament clapping along. He'll also say "Yes, very good, O'Brien", or something to that effect, in a somewhat aristocratic tone. * U.S.A. Chant - Most usually done when he has redeemed an obviously bad joke with a good one, Conan sometimes celebrates by beginning a chant of "U.S.A! U.S.A!" As soon as the audience joins in, Conan immediately stops and stares at them. *Rhetorical Set-Up Questions - Conan frequently introduces a monologue joke by asking a rhetorical question about whether or not the audience has heard of a certain event; he then gives them no time to respond, and criticizes them for being uninformed. *Producer Impression - Often, when Conan says something especially odd or stupid, he will say that the producer is looking at him and then imitates the producer with a serious tone and expression, often crossing his arms, then poking fun at his impression's similarity to
Jackie Mason Jackie Mason (born Yacov Moshe Maza; yi, יעקב משה מזא; June 9, 1928 – July 24, 2021) was an American stand-up comedian and actor. His 1986 one-man show ''The World According to Me!'' won a Special Tony Award, an Outer Critics Cir ...
.


Miscellaneous

*The Growl - Conan often gives a
Bob Hope Leslie Townes "Bob" Hope (May 29, 1903 – July 27, 2003) was a British-American comedian, vaudevillian, actor, singer and dancer. With a career that spanned nearly 80 years, Hope appeared in more than 70 short and feature films, with 5 ...
- or
Roy Orbison Roy Kelton Orbison (April 23, 1936 – December 6, 1988) was an American singer, songwriter, and musician known for his impassioned singing style, complex song structures, and dark, emotional ballads. His music was described by critics as ...
-like growl at attractive women, sometimes accompanied by barking or meows and hisses while miming a "clawing" motion. *The Microphone - Conan will sometimes knock over the microphone on his desk for a quick laugh. Once in a while, he will knock it over and then jokingly threaten the audience, such as "I'll clear this studio if I have to", and "...fill it with a minty foam." He also states on occasion that the microphone is made of chocolate or marzipan. He also has been known to put the desk microphone up to his face and breathe heavily into it while staring wide-eyed. Occasionally, he will take his clip-on microphone and stick it up his nose "just because the producer hates it". *The Conan/Max staredown - Similar to the Small Talk moment, but without any dialogue, Conan and Max will stare at each other blankly for a long time with the cameras switching between Conan and Max. Eventually, Conan seems to get creeped out and looks away. He then says that someone should discover a way to "bottle that chemistry." *Conan Cost Cutting - After a sketch involving Tim Harrod in an expensive "Grub Man" costume, the show began to re-use the costume in order to amortize the cost. It appeared as a "surrendering
croissant A croissant is a buttery, flaky, Austrian viennoiserie pastry inspired by the shape of the Austrian kipferl but using the French yeast-leavened laminated dough. Croissants are named for their historical crescent shape, the dough is layered wi ...
", a "victorious
cannoli Cannoli (; scn, cannola ) are Italian pastries consisting of tube-shaped shells of fried pastry dough, filled with a sweet, creamy filling containing ricotta—a staple of Sicilian cuisine. They range in size from . In mainland Italy, they are ...
", a "
liposuction Liposuction, or simply lipo, is a type of fat-removal procedure used in plastic surgery. Evidence does not support an effect on weight beyond a couple of months and does not appear to affect obesity-related problems. In the United States, lipo ...
ed
Jabba the Hutt Jabba Desilijic Tiure, more commonly known as Jabba the Hutt, is a Character (arts), fictional character and minor antagonist in the ''Star Wars'' franchise. Created by George Lucas, Jabba is voiced by Larry Ward with several puppeteers inside a ...
", a "pissed off
kreplach Kreplach (from yi, קרעפּלעך, Kreplekh) are small dumplings filled with ground meat, mashed potatoes or another filling, usually boiled and served in chicken soup, though they may also be served fried. They are similar to Polish and Ukrain ...
", and a "beach rock." At the end of any sketch involving the costume, Conan mentions how many different ways the costume has been used and a "per costume total", which is the cost of the original costume divided by the number of uses. He'll then invite viewers to mail in their suggestions for a further use for the costume and, in return, will receive an "I'm a Conan Cost Cutter" button. :* The address for viewers to send in their own suggestions for use of the Grub-Man costume was: ::Grub-Man Costume Ideas c/o Late Night ::30 Rockefeller Plaza ::New York, NY 10112 :*A variation on this bit was used when the show acquired an expensive whale costume for a single sketch, and then devoted an entire "Whale Week" to whale-related bits, ostensibly to get their money's worth from the costume. The whale costume in question has been used with decreasing frequency since. *Mike Koman - Koman, one of the show's writers, often plays a sketch character. Whenever he does, Conan is guaranteed to needle him in some way, as when he was the "M.I.T. Nerd" or "Donald Trump's Brother". *The Evil Puppy - This bit involves a puppy, often a
golden retriever The Golden Retriever is a Scottish breed of retriever dog of medium size. It is characterised by a gentle and affectionate nature and a striking golden coat. It is commonly kept as a pet and is among the most frequently registered breeds ...
, sitting on a throne of skulls, flanked by black-robed Druids, all of this under a red light, while
O Fortuna "O Fortuna" is a medieval Latin Goliardic poem which is part of the collection known as the ''Carmina Burana'', written early in the 13th century. It is a complaint about Fortuna, the inexorable fate that rules both gods and mortals in Roman and ...
plays in the background. Often, as the camera shows close-ups of the puppy squirming around on the chair, the audience will "awwww" at its cuteness, as Conan warns that the puppy is going to "conquer the world" or "suck your liver out through your eye sockets." Usually appears on Friday the 13th. Sometimes, the Evil Puppy's powers are portrayed causing pain and humiliation through supernatural means. *Jeff Won't Talk - Conan pokes fun at the show producer, Jeff, who is only ever seen shaking his head on camera and gesturing for Conan to move it along. *Faulty G.E. In-house Voice Directory System - Conan reveals the company's voice-operated directory's voice recognition system, powered by
General Electric General Electric Company (GE) is an American multinational conglomerate founded in 1892, and incorporated in New York state and headquartered in Boston. The company operated in sectors including healthcare, aviation, power, renewable energ ...
, "doesn't work." Here, Conan will request the name of a person he wants to be directed to. However, the system brings up only a similar-sounding name or a totally different name, after a prolonged pause. He also uses song verses and random sentences for hilarious results. *The Gentler Side of
Grand Theft Auto IV ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' is a 2008 action-adventure game developed by Rockstar North and published by Rockstar Games. It is the sixth main entry in the ''Grand Theft Auto'' series, following 2004's '' Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas'', and the ...
- Since the release of the highly anticipated video game
Grand Theft Auto IV ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' is a 2008 action-adventure game developed by Rockstar North and published by Rockstar Games. It is the sixth main entry in the ''Grand Theft Auto'' series, following 2004's '' Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas'', and the ...
, Conan has presented in-game footage of the game that do not display any acts of violence or sexuality. Typically, the player-controlled protagonist Niko Bellic would proclaim random things about himself and society in a friendly, humorous way, as opposed to the game's actual extremely graphic nature. *Ginger, NO! - A fake interview is set up with a staff member when all of a sudden Conan says "Ginger, NO!" The camera then cuts to a German Shepherd who raises a handgun and shoots the interviewee. *Late Night Sausage Party - On nights when all of the guests are male, Conan complains about the new movie "The Women", and how there are no men in the movie—not even extras! He counters this by having all male guests and a gravelly voiced announcer begins the "sausage party" by announcing the guests and making crass and inappropriate remarks regarding their
sausages A sausage is a type of meat product usually made from ground meat—often pork, beef, or poultry—along with salt, spices and other flavourings. Other ingredients, such as grains or breadcrumbs may be included as fillers or extenders. W ...
. *Dubble Letter Week - A whole week of episodes was scheduled in which the guests had double letters in their names. (i.e.
Ted Koppel Edward James Martin Koppel (born February 8, 1940) is a British-born American broadcast journalist, best known as the anchor for '' Nightline'', from the program's inception in 1980 until 2005. Before ''Nightline'', he spent 20 years as a broad ...
,
Larry King Larry King (born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger; November 19, 1933 – January 23, 2021) was an American television and radio host, whose awards included 2 Peabodys, an Emmy and 10 Cable ACE Awards. Over his career, he hosted over 50,000 interviews. ...
). (Max once reacted with disappointment, saying that he wished he had a double letter in his name, to which Conan responded, "Oh, but you do, Max." Max was then subjected to the Ass Stamp, with the double letter in 'ASS' highlighted.) *This Show Will Not Air - Conan does something very outrageous or over the line, but reassures the audience by saying that "This show will never air." *Hold for Editing - When a joke bombs Conan will sometimes pause for a few seconds and say, "Hold for editing." He will then resume the monologue or sketch as if the section containing the bad joke will be removed from the show before it is broadcast. *Conan's second generation Ford Taurus - On several occasions, Conan had expressed pride in his car, a green 1992
Ford Taurus SHO The Ford Taurus SHO (Super High Output) is the high-performance variant of the Ford Taurus. Originally intended as a limited-production model, the SHO would be produced for the first three generations of the model line, from the 1989 to the 1999 ...
. He actively sought to sell it and went so far as to have it appraised at
Sotheby's Sotheby's () is a British-founded American multinational corporation with headquarters in New York City. It is one of the world's largest brokers of fine and decorative art, jewellery, and collectibles. It has 80 locations in 40 countries, and ...
and
Christie's Christie's is a British auction house founded in 1766 by James Christie (auctioneer), James Christie. Its main premises are on King Street, St James's in London, at Rockefeller Center in New York City and at Alexandra House in Hong Kong. It is ...
auction houses despite being extremely dirty and having mechanical problems. The car was finally "sold" to actor
Brad Pitt William Bradley Pitt (born December 18, 1963) is an American actor and film producer. He is the recipient of various accolades, including two Academy Awards, a British Academy Film Award, two Golden Globe Awards, and a Primetime Emmy Award. ...
during one of the final shows, however a sketch during his debut on ''
The Tonight Show ''The Tonight Show'' is an American late-night talk show that has aired on NBC since 1954. The show has been hosted by six comedians: Steve Allen (1954–1957), Jack Paar (1957–1962), Johnny Carson (1962–1992), Jay Leno (1992–2009 and 201 ...
'' revealed that he still owned the car. *The Show Is Cheap/NBC Has No Money - Conan frequently made jokes commenting about the show being cheap, especially during sketches where bad special effects or shoddy-looking costumes/graphics were obvious. Often he would also make references to how NBC did not want to pay for anything. *"That was stupid." - Much like the "This show is cheap" comments, whenever there was an especially bizarre sketch or a bad joke, Conan usually commented about how dumb or stupid it was before moving on. *"Gotta go, move it along." - If a joke/sketch ran especially long or if Conan was wasting too much time he would often mock his producer by saying "Gotta go, move it along!" in a deep voice.


Notes


External links


"Conan O'Brien's Romance-A-Tee - The first short film featured on HornyManatee.comConan vs Bear, from skits on the show
{{DEFAULTSORT:Conan O'brien Sketches Sketches
Late Night with Conan O'Brien ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' is an American late-night talk show hosted by Conan O'Brien. NBC aired 2,725 episodes from September 13, 1993, to February 20, 2009. The show featured varied comedic material, celebrity interviews, and music ...
Late Night with Conan O'Brien ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien'' is an American late-night talk show hosted by Conan O'Brien. NBC aired 2,725 episodes from September 13, 1993, to February 20, 2009. The show featured varied comedic material, celebrity interviews, and music ...
Late Night With Conan O'Brien Sketches