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"International Philosophy", commonly referred to as the Philosophers' Football Match, is a
Monty Python Monty Python, also known as the Pythons, were a British comedy troupe formed in 1969 consisting of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. The group came to prominence for the sketch comedy ser ...
sketch depicting a
football Football is a family of team sports that involve, to varying degrees, kick (football), kicking a football (ball), ball to score a goal (sports), goal. Unqualified, football (word), the word ''football'' generally means the form of football t ...
match in the Munich Olympiastadion between
philosophers Philosophy ('love of wisdom' in Ancient Greek) is a systematic study of general and fundamental questions concerning topics like existence, reason, knowledge, value, mind, and language. It is a rational and critical inquiry that reflects on ...
representing
Greece Greece, officially the Hellenic Republic, is a country in Southeast Europe. Located on the southern tip of the Balkan peninsula, it shares land borders with Albania to the northwest, North Macedonia and Bulgaria to the north, and Turkey to th ...
and
Germany Germany, officially the Federal Republic of Germany, is a country in Central Europe. It lies between the Baltic Sea and the North Sea to the north and the Alps to the south. Its sixteen States of Germany, constituent states have a total popu ...
. Starring in the sketch are
Archimedes Archimedes of Syracuse ( ; ) was an Ancient Greece, Ancient Greek Greek mathematics, mathematician, physicist, engineer, astronomer, and Invention, inventor from the ancient city of Syracuse, Sicily, Syracuse in History of Greek and Hellenis ...
(
John Cleese John Marwood Cleese ( ; born 27 October 1939) is an English actor, comedian, screenwriter, producer, and Television presenter, presenter. Emerging from the Footlights, Cambridge Footlights in the 1960s, he first achieved success at the Edinbur ...
),
Socrates Socrates (; ; – 399 BC) was a Ancient Greek philosophy, Greek philosopher from Classical Athens, Athens who is credited as the founder of Western philosophy and as among the first moral philosophers of the Ethics, ethical tradition ...
(
Eric Idle Eric Idle (born 29 March 1943) is an English actor, comedian, songwriter, musician, screenwriter and playwright. He was a member of the British comedy group Monty Python and the parody rock band the Rutles. Idle studied English at Pembroke Co ...
),
Hegel Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (27 August 1770 – 14 November 1831) was a 19th-century German idealism, German idealist. His influence extends across a wide range of topics from metaphysical issues in epistemology and ontology, to political phi ...
(
Graham Chapman Graham Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was a British actor, comedian and writer. He was one of the six members of the Surreal humour, surrealist comedy group Monty Python. He portrayed authority figures such as The Colonel (Monty Py ...
),
Nietzsche Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (15 October 1844 – 25 August 1900) was a German philosopher. He began his career as a classical philologist, turning to philosophy early in his academic career. In 1869, aged 24, Nietzsche became the youngest pro ...
(
Michael Palin Sir Michael Edward Palin (; born 5 May 1943) is an English actor, comedian, writer, and television presenter. He was a member of the Monty Python comedy group. He received the BAFTA Academy Fellowship Award, BAFTA Fellowship in 2013 and was knig ...
),
Marx Karl Marx (; 5 May 1818 – 14 March 1883) was a German philosopher, political theorist, economist, journalist, and revolutionary socialist. He is best-known for the 1848 pamphlet '' The Communist Manifesto'' (written with Friedrich Engels) ...
(
Terry Jones Terence Graham Parry Jones (1 February 1942 – 21 January 2020) was a Welsh actor, comedian, director, historian, writer and member of the Monty Python comedy troupe. After graduating from Oxford University with a degree in English, Jones a ...
), and
Kant Immanuel Kant (born Emanuel Kant; 22 April 1724 – 12 February 1804) was a German philosopher and one of the central Enlightenment thinkers. Born in Königsberg, Kant's comprehensive and systematic works in epistemology, metaphysics, et ...
(
Terry Gilliam Terrence Vance Gilliam ( ; born 22 November 1940) is an American-British filmmaker, comedian, collage film, collage animator, and actor. He gained stardom as a member of the Monty Python comedy troupe alongside John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Pa ...
). Palin also provides the match television commentary. The footage opens with the banner headline "International Philosophy", and Palin providing the narrative.
Confucius Confucius (; pinyin: ; ; ), born Kong Qiu (), was a Chinese philosopher of the Spring and Autumn period who is traditionally considered the paragon of Chinese sages. Much of the shared cultural heritage of the Sinosphere originates in the phil ...
is the referee and keeps times with an
hourglass An hourglass (or sandglass, sand timer, or sand clock) is a device used to measure the passage of time. It comprises two glass bulbs connected vertically by a narrow neck that allows a regulated flow of a substance (historically sand) from the ...
.
St. Thomas Aquinas Thomas Aquinas ( ; ; – 7 March 1274) was an Italian Dominican friar and priest, the foremost Scholastic thinker, as well as one of the most influential philosophers and theologians in the Western tradition. A Doctor of the Church, he wa ...
and St. Augustine (sporting
halo HALO, halo, halos or haloes may refer to: Most common meanings * Halo (optical phenomenon) * Halo (religious iconography), a ring of light around the image of a head * ''Halo'' (franchise), a sci-fi video game series (2001–2021) Arts and en ...
es) serve as linesmen. The German
manager Management (or managing) is the administration of organizations, whether businesses, nonprofit organizations, or a government bodies through business administration, nonprofit management, or the political science sub-field of public administra ...
is
Martin Luther Martin Luther ( ; ; 10 November 1483 – 18 February 1546) was a German priest, Theology, theologian, author, hymnwriter, professor, and former Order of Saint Augustine, Augustinian friar. Luther was the seminal figure of the Reformation, Pr ...
. The match is designed as a
World Cup A world cup is a global sporting competition in which the participant entities – usually international teams or individuals representing their countries – compete for the title of world champion. The event most associated with the name is ...
for the most well-known western philosophers made global with Confucius arbitrating the match. As play begins, the philosophers break from their proper football positions only to walk around on the pitch as if deeply pondering, and in some cases declaiming their theories.Gener, Randy. (May 1, 2006) American Theatre ''The French Misconnection, or What Makes a Writer French.'' Volume 23; Issue 5; Page 42.
Franz Beckenbauer Franz Anton Beckenbauer (; 11 September 1945 – 7 January 2024) was a German professional football player, manager, and official. Nicknamed ("the Emperor"), he is widely regarded as one of the greatest players of all time, and is one of nine p ...
, the sole genuine footballer on the pitch and a "surprise inclusion" in the German team, is left more than a little confused. Despite being set in the Olympiastadion, the sketch was instead filmed in Munich's
Grünwalder Stadion Städtisches Stadion an der Grünwalder Straße (also known as ''Grünwalder Stadion'' and ''Sechzger Stadion'') is a football stadium in Munich, Germany. It was built in 1911 and was the home ground for 1860 Munich until 1995. Local rival Bay ...
. It originally featured in the second '' Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus'' episode broadcast on 18 December 1972 and was regularly screened at the group's live shows, including '' Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl'' (1982)Larsen, Darl. (2003)
Monty Python, Shakespeare and English Renaissance Drama.
' Page 45, Publisher: McFarland & Company.
and ''
Monty Python Live (Mostly) ''Monty Python Live (Mostly)'' (also billed as ''Monty Python Live (Mostly): One Down, Five to Go'') was a variety show by the Monty Python comedy group at The O2 in London in July 2014. Planned as a single performance for 1 July, it was expanded ...
'' (2014). The Greek players, mostly with long grey beards and hair, play in
toga The toga (, ), a distinctive garment of Ancient Rome, was a roughly semicircular cloth, between in length, draped over the shoulders and around the body. It was usually woven from white wool, and was worn over a tunic. In Roman historical tra ...
s, while the Germans sport a variety of period dress including Victorian
frock coat A frock coat is a formal wear, formal men's coat (clothing), coat characterised by a knee-length skirt cut all around the base just above the knee, popular during the Victorian era, Victorian and Edwardian era, Edwardian periods (1830s–1910s). ...
s and
breeches Breeches ( ) are an article of clothing covering the body from the waist down, with separate coverings for each leg, usually stopping just below the knee, though in some cases reaching to the ankles. Formerly a standard item of Western men's ...
. "Nobby" Hegel carries a grey
top hat A top hat (also called a high hat, or, informally, a topper) is a tall, flat-crowned hat traditionally associated with formal wear in Western dress codes, meaning white tie, morning dress, or frock coat. Traditionally made of black silk or ...
, while Beckenbauer wears the red and white of the 1972 Bayern Munich football strip.


Outcome

Nietzsche is booked with a
yellow card Yellow card may refer to: * Yellow card (sport), shown in many sports after a rules infraction or, by analogy, a serious warning in other areas * Yellowcard, an American alternative rock band * Yellow Card Scheme, a United Kingdom initiative co ...
for arguing with the referee, claiming he has "no
free will Free will is generally understood as the capacity or ability of people to (a) choice, choose between different possible courses of Action (philosophy), action, (b) exercise control over their actions in a way that is necessary for moral respon ...
". Confucius responded by saying: "Name go in book". In the second half, with nothing being accomplished on the pitch other than mere contemplation,
Karl Marx Karl Marx (; 5 May 1818 – 14 March 1883) was a German philosopher, political theorist, economist, journalist, and revolutionary socialist. He is best-known for the 1848 pamphlet '' The Communist Manifesto'' (written with Friedrich Engels) ...
is noticed warming up vigorously on the German sidelines. Marx soon comes on to substitute
Ludwig Wittgenstein Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein ( ; ; 26 April 1889 – 29 April 1951) was an Austrian philosopher who worked primarily in logic, the philosophy of mathematics, the philosophy of mind, and the philosophy of language. From 1929 to 1947, Witt ...
, his energy appearing as an obvious game-changer. However, upon the restart, Marx simply pulls up and starts meandering in deep thought like the rest. With just over a minute of the match remaining, Archimedes cries out " Eureka!", takes the first kick of the ball and rushes towards the German goal. After several passes through a perplexed defence, Socrates scores the only goal of the match with a diving header off an otherwise goal-bound cross from Archimedes. As the sketch closes, the Germans dispute the call. Through the words of the commentator, "Hegel is arguing that reality is merely an ''
a priori ('from the earlier') and ('from the later') are Latin phrases used in philosophy to distinguish types of knowledge, Justification (epistemology), justification, or argument by their reliance on experience. knowledge is independent from any ...
'' adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the
categorical imperative The categorical imperative () is the central philosophical concept in the deontological Kantian ethics, moral philosophy of Immanuel Kant. Introduced in Kant's 1785 ''Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals'', it is a way of evaluating motivati ...
is holding that ontologically, it exists only in the imagination and Marx is claiming it was offside". The replay proves that, according to the offside rule, Socrates was indeed offside, but the sketch, nevertheless, states that the Greeks have won. The names of the Greek philosophers in the lineup are displayed in German in the sketch, as the match was set in Germany. Despite the sketch, Wittgenstein was in fact
Austria Austria, formally the Republic of Austria, is a landlocked country in Central Europe, lying in the Eastern Alps. It is a federation of nine Federal states of Austria, states, of which the capital Vienna is the List of largest cities in Aust ...
n and not German, while Empedocles and Archimedes lived in
Sicily Sicily (Italian language, Italian and ), officially the Sicilian Region (), is an island in the central Mediterranean Sea, south of the Italian Peninsula in continental Europe and is one of the 20 regions of Italy, regions of Italy. With 4. ...
. Supporting the main referee Confucius as linesmen were St. Augustine and
St. Thomas Aquinas Thomas Aquinas ( ; ; – 7 March 1274) was an Italian Dominican friar and priest, the foremost Scholastic thinker, as well as one of the most influential philosophers and theologians in the Western tradition. A Doctor of the Church, he wa ...
, who hailed from what is now
Algeria Algeria, officially the People's Democratic Republic of Algeria, is a country in the Maghreb region of North Africa. It is bordered to Algeria–Tunisia border, the northeast by Tunisia; to Algeria–Libya border, the east by Libya; to Alger ...
and
Italy Italy, officially the Italian Republic, is a country in Southern Europe, Southern and Western Europe, Western Europe. It consists of Italian Peninsula, a peninsula that extends into the Mediterranean Sea, with the Alps on its northern land b ...
respectively.


Match details


Philosophers Football Match 2010

Inspired by the famous Monty Python sketch, and with the full backing of the surviving Pythons a tribute/replay of ''The Philosophers' Football Match'' was held at Wingate & Finchley's Harry Abrahams Stadium in
Finchley Finchley () is a large district of north London, England, in the London Borough of Barnet. north of Charing Cross, nearby districts include: Golders Green, Muswell Hill, Friern Barnet, Whetstone, London, Whetstone, Mill Hill and Hendon. It is ...
, North London on 9 May 2010. This
tongue-in-cheek Tongue-in-cheek is an idiom that describes a humorous or sarcastic statement expressed in a serious manner. History The phrase originally expressed contempt, but by 1842 had acquired its modern meaning. Early users of the phrase include Sir Walte ...
re-staging—on a real London pitch—of the original sketch, was the idea of The Philosophy Shop, a specialist provider of education and training for primary school children. The group works to enable
Philosophy Philosophy ('love of wisdom' in Ancient Greek) is a systematic study of general and fundamental questions concerning topics like existence, reason, knowledge, Value (ethics and social sciences), value, mind, and language. It is a rational an ...
graduates at University level to conduct practical philosophy sessions for children aged 5 to 11 as part of a drive to boost their reasoning skills from their first days in the school environment. Philosopher
A. C. Grayling Anthony Clifford Grayling (; born 3 April 1949) is a British philosopher and author. He was born in Northern Rhodesia (now Zambia) and spent most of his childhood there and in Nyasaland (now Malawi). Until June 2011, he was Professor of Philos ...
and former
England England is a Countries of the United Kingdom, country that is part of the United Kingdom. It is located on the island of Great Britain, of which it covers about 62%, and List of islands of England, more than 100 smaller adjacent islands. It ...
Manager
Graham Taylor Graham Taylor (15 September 1944 – 12 January 2017) was an English football player, manager, pundit and chairman of Watford Football Club. He was the manager of the England national football team from 1990 to 1993, and also managed Lincoln ...
were appointed as managers for the event, and players included comedians
Mark Steel Mark Steel (born 4 July 1960) is an English author, broadcaster, stand-up comedian and newspaper columnist. He has made many appearances on radio and television shows as a guest panellist, and has written regular columns in ''The Guardian'', '' ...
,
Tony Hawks Antony Gordon Hawksworth Order of the British Empire, MBE (born 27 February 1960), known professionally as Tony Hawks, is a British comedian and author. Early life Born in Brighton, Sussex, Hawks was educated at Brighton, Hove and Sussex Gr ...
, Arthur Smith, and Ariane Sherine, as well as philosophers
Julian Baggini Julian Baggini ( , ; born 1968) is an English philosopher, journalist and the author of over 20 books about philosophy written for a general audience. He is co-founder of ''The Philosophers' Magazine'', and has written for numerous internationa ...
,
Nigel Warburton Nigel Warburton (; born 1962) is a British philosopher. He is best known as a populariser of philosophy, having written a number of books in the genre, but he has also written academic works in aesthetics and applied ethics. Education Warburton ...
, Simon Glendinning,
Stephen Law Stephen Law (born 1960) is an English philosopher. He is currently Director of the Certificate of Higher Education and Director of Philosophy at The Department of Continuing Education, University of Oxford. Law was previously Reader in Philos ...
,
Angie Hobbs Angela Hunter "Angie" Hobbs (born 12 June 1961) is a British philosopher and academic, who specialises in Ancient Greek philosophy and ethics. She is Professor of the Public Understanding of Philosophy at the University of Sheffield. Early lif ...
, and Mark Vernon, plus other academics from universities nationwide. Match supporters included sociologist and
BBC Radio 4 BBC Radio 4 is a British national radio station owned and operated by the BBC. The station replaced the BBC Home Service on 30 September 1967 and broadcasts a wide variety of spoken-word programmes from the BBC's headquarters at Broadcasti ...
's '' Thinking Allowed'' presenter Laurie Taylor, the BBC's
John Humphrys Desmond John Humphrys (born 17 August 1943) is a Welsh people, Welsh broadcaster. From 1981 to 1987 he was the main presenter of the ''BBC Nine O'Clock News, Nine O'Clock News'', the flagship BBC News television programme, and from 1987 until ...
, and educationalist and author
Anthony Seldon Sir Anthony Francis Seldon (born 2 August 1953) is a British contemporary historian and educator. As an author, he is known for his political biographies of consecutive British Prime Ministers, John Major, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Camer ...
.


References


External links

* * {{DEFAULTSORT:Philosophers' Football Match, The Monty Python sketches 1972 Summer Olympics Cultural depictions of philosophers Sports fiction Association football culture