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Marriage in Judaism is the documentation of a contract between a Jewish man and a Jewish woman in which
God
In monotheism, monotheistic thought, God is usually viewed as the supreme being, creator deity, creator, and principal object of Faith#Religious views, faith.Richard Swinburne, Swinburne, R.G. "God" in Ted Honderich, Honderich, Ted. (ed)''The Ox ...
is involved. In Judaism, a marriage can end either because of a
divorce document given by the man to his wife, or by the death of either party. Certain details, primarily as protections for the wife, were added in
Talmud
The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cente ...
ic times.
Non-Orthodox developments have brought changes in who may marry whom. Intermarriage is often discouraged, though opinions vary.
Overview
Historic view
In traditional
Judaism
Judaism ( he, ''Yahăḏūṯ'') is an Abrahamic, monotheistic, and ethnic religion comprising the collective religious, cultural, and legal tradition and civilization of the Jewish people. It has its roots as an organized religion in the ...
,
marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
is viewed as a contractual bond commanded by God in which a man and a woman come together to create a relationship in which God is directly involved. Though procreation is not the sole purpose, a Jewish marriage is traditionally expected to fulfil the commandment to have children. In this view, marriage is understood to mean that the husband and wife are merging into a single soul, which is why a man is considered "incomplete" if he is not married, as his soul is only one part of a larger whole that remains to be unified.
Rashi explains the verse 'becoming one flesh' (of a man and a woman) as referring to children, whereas Nachmanides understands the verse as referring to sexual union/bonding. Both views are Orthodox and normative; both are interpretations of the Biblical verse discussing the union between a man and a woman.
Recent non-Orthodox views
Non-Orthodox Jewish denominations, such as Reconstructionist, Reform, and Conservative Judaism, recognize same-sex marriage, and de-emphasize procreation, focusing on marriage as a bond between a couple. This view is considered as a diversion from the
Jewish Law
''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also Romanization of Hebrew, transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Judaism, Jewish religious laws which is derived from the Torah, written and Oral Tora ...
by the
Orthodox
Orthodox, Orthodoxy, or Orthodoxism may refer to:
Religion
* Orthodoxy, adherence to accepted norms, more specifically adherence to creeds, especially within Christianity and Judaism, but also less commonly in non-Abrahamic religions like Neo-pa ...
denominations, rather than as a legitimate, alternative interpretation.
Betrothal and marriage
In
Jewish law
''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also Romanization of Hebrew, transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Judaism, Jewish religious laws which is derived from the Torah, written and Oral Tora ...
, marriage consists of two separate acts, called or , which is the
betrothal
An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself (which is typically but not always commenced with a wedding). During this period, a couple is said to be ''fi ...
ceremony, and or , the actual
Jewish wedding ceremony. changes the couple's personal circumstances, while brings about the legal consequences of the change of circumstances. In
Talmud
The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cente ...
ic times, these two ceremonies usually took place up to a year apart; the bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony (), which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Since the Middle Ages the two ceremonies have taken place as a combined ceremony performed in public.
According to the Talmud, involves the groom handing an object to the bride – either an object of value such as a ring, or a document stating that she is being betrothed to him. In order to be valid, this must be done in the presence of two unrelated male witnesses. After , the laws of
adultery
Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...
apply, and the marriage cannot be dissolved without a
religious divorce. After , the couple may live together.
The act of may be made by the intending parties or by their respective parents or other relatives on their behalf with their consent. A man and a woman cannot be betrothed to one another without agency and consent. The act is formalized in a document known as the , the "Document of Conditions" which is read prior to the . After the reading, the mothers of the future bride and groom break a plate. Today, some sign the contract on the day of the wedding, some do it as an earlier ceremony, and some do not do it at all. It should also be emphasized that this practice is not explicitly mentioned in the Hebrew Bible.
In
Haredi
Haredi Judaism ( he, ', ; also spelled ''Charedi'' in English; plural ''Haredim'' or ''Charedim'') consists of groups within Orthodox Judaism that are characterized by their strict adherence to ''halakha'' (Jewish law) and traditions, in oppos ...
communities, marriages may be arranged by the parents of the prospective bride and groom, who may arrange a by engaging a professional match-maker () who finds and introduces the prospective bride and groom and receives a fee for their services. The young couple is not forced to marry if either does not accept the other.
Matrimony
Marital harmony
Marital harmony, known as , is valued in Jewish tradition. The Talmud states that a man should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and honour her more than he honours himself;
['']Sanhedrin
The Sanhedrin (Hebrew and Aramaic: סַנְהֶדְרִין; Greek: , ''synedrion'', 'sitting together,' hence 'assembly' or 'council') was an assembly of either 23 or 71 elders (known as "rabbis" after the destruction of the Second Temple), ap ...
'' 76b indeed, one who honours his wife was said, by the classical rabbis, to be rewarded with wealth.
['']Baba Metzia
Bava Metzia (Talmudic Aramaic: בָּבָא מְצִיעָא, "The Middle Gate") is the second of the first three Talmudic tractates in the order of Nezikin ("Damages"), the other two being Bava Kamma and Bava Batra. Originally all three formed a ...
'' 59b Similarly, a husband was expected to discuss with his wife any worldly matters that might arise in his life.
The Talmud forbids a husband from being overbearing to his household, and
domestic abuse
Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse or family violence) is violence or other abuse that occurs in a domestic setting, such as in a marriage or cohabitation. ''Domestic violence'' is often used as a synonym for ''intimate partner v ...
by him was also condemned.
It was said of a wife that "God counts her tears".
As for the wife, the greatest praise the Talmudic rabbis offered to any woman was that given to a wife who fulfils the wishes of her husband; to this end, an early
midrash
''Midrash'' (;["midrash"]
''Random House Webster's Unabridged Dictionary''. he, מִדְרָשׁ; ...
states that a wife should not leave the home "too frequently". A wife, also, was expected to be
modest, even when alone with her husband. God's presence dwells in a pure and loving home.
Conjugal rights and obligations
Marriage obligations and rights in
Judaism
Judaism ( he, ''Yahăḏūṯ'') is an Abrahamic, monotheistic, and ethnic religion comprising the collective religious, cultural, and legal tradition and civilization of the Jewish people. It has its roots as an organized religion in the ...
are ultimately based on those apparent in the
Bible
The Bible (from Koine Greek , , 'the books') is a collection of religious texts or scriptures that are held to be sacred in Christianity, Judaism, Samaritanism, and many other religions. The Bible is an anthologya compilation of texts of a ...
, which have been clarified, defined, and expanded on by many
prominent rabbinic authorities throughout history.
Traditionally, the obligations of the husband include providing for his wife. He is obligated to provide for her sustenance for her benefit; in exchange, he is also entitled to her income. However, this is a right to the wife, and she can release her husband of the obligation of sustaining her, and she can then keep her income exclusively for herself. The document that provides for this is the .
The Bible itself gives the wife protections, as per Exodus 21:10, although the rabbis may have added others later. The rights of the husband and wife are described in tractate in the Talmud, which explains how the rabbis balanced the two sets of rights of the wife and the husband.
According to the non-traditional view, in the Bible the wife is treated as a possession owned by her husband,
but later Judaism imposed several obligations on the husband, effectively giving the wife several rights and freedoms;
indeed, being a Jewish wife was often a more favourable situation than being a wife in many other cultures.
For example, the
Talmud
The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cente ...
establishes the principle that a wife is entitled, but not compelled, to the same dignity and social standing as her husband,
[''Ketubot'' 48a][''Ketubot'' 61a] and is entitled to keep any additional advantages she had as a result of her social status before her marriage.
In the Bible
Biblical Hebrew
Biblical Hebrew (, or , ), also called Classical Hebrew, is an archaic form of the Hebrew language, a language in the Canaanite branch of Semitic languages spoken by the Israelites in the area known as the Land of Israel, roughly west of ...
has two words for "husband": (also meaning "master"), and (also meaning "man", parallel to meaning "woman" or "wife"). The words are contrasted in Hosea 2:16, where God speaks to Israel as though it is his wife: "On that day, says the Lord, you will call
e'my husband' (), and will no longer call me 'my master' ()."
Early nomadic communities practised a form of marriage known as , in which a wife would own a tent of her own, within which she retains complete independence from her husband;
William Robertson Smith
William Robertson Smith (8 November 184631 March 1894) was a Scottish orientalist, Old Testament scholar, professor of divinity, and minister of the Free Church of Scotland. He was an editor of the ''Encyclopædia Britannica'' and contributo ...
, ''Kinship and Marriage in early Arabia'', (1885), 167 this principle appears to survive in parts of early Israelite society, as some early passages of the Bible appear to portray certain wives as each owning a tent as a personal possession
(specifically,
Jael
Jael or Yael ( he, יָעֵל ''Yāʿēl'') is the name of the heroine who delivered Israel from the army of King Jabin of Canaan in the Book of Judges of the Hebrew Bible. After Barak demurred at the behest of the prophetess Deborah, God turned ...
,
Sarah
Sarah (born Sarai) is a biblical matriarch and prophetess, a major figure in Abrahamic religions. While different Abrahamic faiths portray her differently, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all depict her character similarly, as that of a piou ...
, and Jacob's wives). In later times, the Bible describes wives as being given the innermost room(s) of the husband's house, as her own private area to which men were not permitted; in the case of wealthy husbands, the Bible describes their wives as having each been given an entire house for this purpose.
It was not, however, a life of complete freedom. The descriptions of the Bible suggest that a wife was expected to perform certain household tasks: spinning, sewing, weaving, manufacture of clothing, fetching of water, baking of bread, and
animal husbandry
Animal husbandry is the branch of agriculture concerned with animals that are raised for meat, fibre, milk, or other products. It includes day-to-day care, selective breeding, and the raising of livestock. Husbandry has a long history, starti ...
. The
Book of Proverbs
The Book of Proverbs ( he, מִשְלֵי, , "Proverbs (of Solomon)") is a book in the third section (called Ketuvim) of the Hebrew Bible and a book of the Christian Old Testament. When translated into Greek and Latin, the title took on different ...
contains an entire
acrostic
An acrostic is a poem or other word composition in which the ''first'' letter (or syllable, or word) of each new line (or paragraph, or other recurring feature in the text) spells out a word, message or the alphabet. The term comes from the Fre ...
about the duties which would be performed by a virtuous wife.
The husband, too, is indirectly implied to have responsibilities to his wife. The
Torah
The Torah (; hbo, ''Tōrā'', "Instruction", "Teaching" or "Law") is the compilation of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, namely the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In that sense, Torah means the s ...
obligates a man to not deprive his wife of food, clothing, or of sexual activity (); if the husband does not provide the first wife with these things, she is to be divorced, without cost to her. The Talmud interprets this as a requirement for a man to provide food and clothing to, and have sex with, each of his wives, even if he only has one.
As a society, the Israelites did not have any laws which imposed
monogamy
Monogamy ( ) is a form of dyadic relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime. Alternately, only one partner at any one time (serial monogamy) — as compared to the various forms of non-monogamy (e.g., polyga ...
on men.
Adulterous
Adultery (from Latin ''adulterium'') is extramarital sex that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral, or legal grounds. Although the sexual activities that constitute adultery vary, as well as the social, religious, and legal ...
married and betrothed women, as well as their male accomplices, were subject to the
death penalty
Capital punishment, also known as the death penalty, is the state-sanctioned practice of deliberately killing a person as a punishment for an actual or supposed crime, usually following an authorized, rule-governed process to conclude that t ...
by the
biblical laws against adultery. According to the
Book of Numbers
The book of Numbers (from Greek Ἀριθμοί, ''Arithmoi''; he, בְּמִדְבַּר, ''Bəmīḏbar'', "In the desert f) is the fourth book of the Hebrew Bible, and the fourth of five books of the Jewish Torah. The book has a long and com ...
, if a woman was suspected of adultery, she was to be subjected to the
ordeal of the bitter water
The ordeal of the bitter water was a trial by ordeal administered to the wife whose husband suspected her of adultery but who had no witnesses to make a formal case. The ordeal is expanded in the Talmud, in the seventh tractate of ''Nashim''.
Ac ...
, a form of
trial by ordeal
Trial by ordeal was an ancient judicial practice by which the guilt or innocence of the accused was determined by subjecting them to a painful, or at least an unpleasant, usually dangerous experience.
In medieval Europe, like trial by combat, tri ...
, but one that took a miracle to convict. The
literary prophets
The literary prophets is a name given to the Biblical figures who wrote down their prophecies and personal histories, rather than histories of the Israelites. By extension, the term is also sometimes used to refer to their writings, which mostly a ...
indicate that adultery was a frequent occurrence, despite their strong protests against it, and these legal strictnesses.
In the Talmud and Rabbinic Judaism
The Talmud sets a minimum provision which a husband must provide to his wife:
* Enough bread for at least two meals a day
* Sufficient oil for cooking and for lighting purposes
* Sufficient wood for cooking
* Fruit and vegetables
* Wine, if it is customary in the locality for women to drink it
* Three meals on each
shabbat
Shabbat (, , or ; he, שַׁבָּת, Šabbāṯ, , ) or the Sabbath (), also called Shabbos (, ) by Ashkenazim, is Judaism's day of rest on the seventh day of the week—i.e., Saturday. On this day, religious Jews remember the biblical storie ...
consisting of fish and meat
* An
allowance of a silver coin (Hebrew: ) each week
Rabbinic courts could compel the husband to make this provision, if he fails to do so voluntarily.
The Chatam Sofer, a prominent 19th century halachic decisor, argued that if a man could not provide his wife with this minimum, he should be compelled to divorce her; other Jewish rabbis argued that a man should be compelled to hire himself out, as a day-labourer, if he cannot otherwise make this provision to his wife.
According to prominent Jewish writers of the Middle Ages, if a man is absent from his wife for a long period, the wife should be allowed to sell her husband's property, if necessary to sustain herself.
Maimonides
Musa ibn Maimon (1138–1204), commonly known as Maimonides (); la, Moses Maimonides and also referred to by the acronym Rambam ( he, רמב״ם), was a Sephardic Jewish philosopher who became one of the most prolific and influential Torah ...
, ''Mishneh Torah
The ''Mishneh Torah'' ( he, מִשְׁנֵה תּוֹרָה, , repetition of the Torah), also known as ''Sefer Yad ha-Hazaka'' ( he, ספר יד החזקה, , book of the strong hand, label=none), is a code of Rabbinic Jewish religious law (''h ...
'', ''Ishut'' 12:10-22Jacob ben Asher
Jacob ben Asher (c. 1269 - c. 1343), also known as Ba'al ha-Turim as well as Rabbi Yaakov ben Raash (Rabbeinu Asher), was an influential Medieval rabbinic authority. He is often referred to as the Ba'al ha-Turim ("Master of the Columns"), after ...
, ''Eben ha-'Ezer'', 70 Similarly, they argued that if a wife had to take out a loan to pay for her sustenance during such absence, her husband had to pay the debt on his return.
In order to offset the husband's duty to support his wife, she was required by the Talmud to surrender all her earnings to her husband, together with any profit she makes by accident, and the right of
usufruct
Usufruct () is a limited real right (or ''in rem'' right) found in civil-law and mixed jurisdictions that unites the two property interests of ''usus'' and ''fructus'':
* ''Usus'' (''use'') is the right to use or enjoy a thing possessed, directl ...
on her property;
[''Ketubot'' 46b-47b] the wife was not required to do this if she wished to support herself.
Although the wife always retained ownership of her property itself, if she died while still married to her husband, he was to be her heir, according to the opinion of the Talmud;
this principle, though, was modified, in various ways, by the rabbis of the Middle Ages.
= Home and household
=
In Jewish tradition, the husband was expected to provide a home for his wife, furnished in accordance to local custom and appropriate to his status;
the marital couple were expected to live together in this home, although if the husband's choice of work made it difficult to do so, the Talmud excuses him from the obligation. Traditionally, if the husband changed his usual abode, the wife was considered to have a duty to move with him.
In the Middle Ages, it was argued that if a person continued to refuse to live with their spouse, the spouse in question had sufficient
grounds for divorce
Grounds for divorce are regulations specifying the circumstances under which a person will be granted a divorce. Adultery is the most common grounds for divorce. However, there are countries that view male adultery differently than female adultery ...
.
Most Jewish religious authorities held that a husband must allow his wife to eat at the same table as him, even if he gave his wife enough money to provide for herself.
By contrast, if a husband mistreated his wife, or lived in a disreputable neighbourhood, the Jewish religious authorities would permit the wife to move to another home elsewhere, and would compel the husband to finance her life there.
Expanding on the household tasks which the Bible implies a wife should undertake,
rabbinic literature requires her to perform all the housework (such as baking, cooking, washing, caring for her children, etc.), unless her marriage had given the husband a large
dowry
A dowry is a payment, such as property or money, paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. Dowry contrasts with the related concepts of bride price and dower. While bride price or bride service is a payment b ...
;
in the latter situation, the wife was expected only to tend to "affectionate" tasks, such as
making his bed and serving him his food.
Jewish tradition expected the husband to provide the bed linen and kitchen utensils.
If the wife had young twin children, the Talmud made her husband responsible for caring for one of them.
= Clothing
=
The Talmud elaborates on the biblical requirement of the husband to provide his wife with clothing, by insisting that each year he must provide each wife with 50
zuzim's-worth of clothing,
including garments appropriate to each
season
A season is a division of the year based on changes in weather, ecology, and the number of daylight hours in a given region. On Earth, seasons are the result of the axial parallelism of Earth's tilted orbit around the Sun. In temperate and pol ...
of the year.
The Talmudic rabbis insist that this annual clothing gift should include one hat, one belt, and three pairs of shoes (one pair for each of the three main annual festivals:
Passover
Passover, also called Pesach (; ), is a major Jewish holidays, Jewish holiday that celebrates the The Exodus, Biblical story of the Israelites escape from slavery in Ancient Egypt, Egypt, which occurs on the 15th day of the Hebrew calendar, He ...
,
Shabu'ot
(''Ḥag HaShavuot'' or ''Shavuos'')
, nickname = English: "Feast of Weeks"
, observedby = Jews and Samaritans
, type = Jewish and Samaritan
, begins = 6th day of Sivan (or the Sunday following the 6th day of Sivan i ...
, and
Sukkoth).
The husband was also expected by the classical rabbis to provide his wife with jewelry and perfumes if he lived in an area where this was customary.
= Physical obligations
=
The Talmud argues that a husband is responsible for the protection of his wife's body. If his wife became ill, then he would be compelled, by the Talmud, to defray any medical expense which might be incurred in relation to this;
the Talmud requires him to ensure that the wife receives care.
Although he technically had the right to divorce his wife, enabling him to avoid paying for her medical costs, several prominent rabbis throughout history condemned such a course of action as inhuman behaviour, even if the wife was suffering from a prolonged illness.
If the wife dies, even if not due to illness, the Talmud's stipulations require the husband to arrange, and pay for, her burial;
[''Ketubot'' 46a-47b] the burial must, in the opinion of the Talmud, be one conducted in a manner befitting the husband's social status, and in accordance with the local custom.
Prominent rabbis of the Middle Ages clarified this, stating that the husband must make any provisions required by local burial customs, potentially including the hiring of mourners and the erection of a tombstone.
[Maimonides, ''Mishneh Torah'', ''Ishut'' 14:23-24][Jacob ben Asher, ''Eben ha-'Ezer'', 89] According to the Talmud, and later rabbinic writers, if the husband was absent, or refused to do these things, a rabbinical court should arrange the wife's funeral, selling some of the husband's property in order to defray the costs.
If the wife was captured, the husband was required by the Talmud and later writers to pay the ransom demanded for her release;
[''Ketubot'' 51a][Maimonides, ''Mishneh Torah'', ''Ishut'' 14:18-22][Jacob ben Asher, ''Eben ha-'Ezer'', 78]Joseph Karo
Joseph ben Ephraim Karo, also spelled Yosef Caro, or Qaro ( he, יוסף קארו; 1488 – March 24, 1575, 13 Nisan 5335 Anno mundi, A.M.), was the author of the last great codification of Jewish law, the ''Beit Yosef (book), Beit Yosef'', and it ...
, ''Shulkhan Arukh
The ''Shulchan Aruch'' ( he, שֻׁלְחָן עָרוּך , literally: "Set Table"), sometimes dubbed in English as the Code of Jewish Law, is the most widely consulted of the various legal codes in Judaism. It was authored in Safed (today in Is ...
'', ''Yoreh De'ah'' 252:10 there is some debate whether the husband was required only to pay up to the wife's market value as a slave, or whether he must pay any ransom, even to the point of having to sell his possessions to raise the funds.
If the husband and wife were both taken captive, the historic Jewish view was that the rabbinic courts should first pay the ransom for the wife, selling some of the husband's property in order to raise the funds.
= Fidelity
=
In the classical era of the
rabbi
A rabbi () is a spiritual leader or religious teacher in Judaism. One becomes a rabbi by being ordained by another rabbi – known as ''semikha'' – following a course of study of Jewish history and texts such as the Talmud. The basic form of ...
nic scholars, the death penalty for adultery was rarely applied. It forbids conviction if:
* the woman had been raped, rather than consenting to the crime;
* the woman had mistaken the paramour for her husband;
* the woman was unaware of the laws against adultery before she committed the crime;
* the woman had not been properly warned. This requires that the two witnesses testifying against her warn her that the
Torah
The Torah (; hbo, ''Tōrā'', "Instruction", "Teaching" or "Law") is the compilation of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, namely the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In that sense, Torah means the s ...
prohibits adultery; that the penalty for adultery is death; and that she immediately responded that she is doing so with full knowledge of those facts. Even if she was warned, but did not acknowledge those facts immediately upon hearing them, and immediately before doing the act, she is not put to death. These conditions apply in all death-penalty convictions.
These rules made it practically impossible to convict any woman of adultery; in nearly every case, women were acquitted.
However, due to the belief that a priest should be untainted, a
Kohen
Kohen ( he, , ''kōhēn'', , "priest", pl. , ''kōhănīm'', , "priests") is the Hebrew word for "priest", used in reference to the Aaronic priesthood, also called Aaronites or Aaronides. Levitical priests or ''kohanim'' are traditionally b ...
was compelled to divorce his wife if she had been raped.
In
Talmudic
The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cente ...
times, once the death penalty was no longer enforced for any crime, even when a woman was convicted, the punishment was comparatively mild: adulteresses were flogged instead.
Nevertheless, the husbands of convicted adulteresses were not permitted by the Talmud to forgive their guilty wives, instead being compelled to divorce them; according to
Maimonides
Musa ibn Maimon (1138–1204), commonly known as Maimonides (); la, Moses Maimonides and also referred to by the acronym Rambam ( he, רמב״ם), was a Sephardic Jewish philosopher who became one of the most prolific and influential Torah ...
, a conviction for adultery nullified any right that the wife's
marriage contract
''Marriage Contract'' () is a 2016 South Korean television series starring Lee Seo-jin and Uee. It aired on MBC from March 5 to April 24, 2016 on Saturdays and Sundays at 22:00 for 16 episodes.
Plot
Kang Hye-soo (Uee) is a single mother who ...
(Hebrew: ) gave her to a compensation payment for being divorced. Once divorced, an adulteress was not permitted, according to the Talmudic writers, to marry her paramour.
As for men who committed adultery (with another man's wife),
Abba ben Joseph and
Abba Arika
Abba Arikha (175–247 CE; Jewish Babylonian Aramaic: ; born: ''Rav Abba bar Aybo'', ), commonly known as Rav (), was a Jewish amora of the 3rd century. He was born and lived in Kafri, Asoristan, in the Sasanian Empire.
Abba Arikha establishe ...
are both quoted in the Talmud as expressing abhorrence, and arguing that such men would be condemned to
Gehenna
The Valley of Hinnom ( he, , lit=Valley of the son of Hinnom, translit=Gēʾ ḇen-Hīnnōm) is a historic valley surrounding Ancient Jerusalem, Ancient Jerusalem from the west and southwest. The valley is also known by the name Gehinnom ( ...
.
= Family purity
=
The laws of "family purity" () are considered an important part of an Orthodox Jewish marriage, and adherence to them is (in Orthodox Judaism) regarded as a prerequisite of marriage. This involves observance of the various details of the menstrual laws. Orthodox brides and grooms attend classes on this subject prior to the wedding. The niddah laws are regarded as an intrinsic part of marital life (rather than just associated with women). Together with a few other rules, including
those about the ejaculation of semen, these are collectively termed "family purity".
= Sexual relations
=
In marriage, conjugal relations are guaranteed as a fundamental right for a woman, along with food and clothing. This obligation is known as . Sex within marriage is the woman's right, and the man's duty. The husband is forbidden from raping his wife, they are not to be intimate while drunk or while either party is angry at the other. A woman should be granted a (divorce) if she seeks it because her husband is disgusting or loathsome to her. If either partner consistently refuses to participate, that person is considered rebellious, and the other spouse can sue for divorce.
Age of marriage
Citing the primacy of the divine command given in Genesis 1:28, the time between puberty and age twenty has been considered the ideal time for men and women to be wed in traditional Jewish thought. Some rabbis have gone further to commend the age of eighteen as most ideal, while others have advocated for the time immediately following puberty, closer to the age of fourteen, essentially "as early in life as possible."
Babylonian rabbis understood marriage as God's means of keeping male sexuality from going out of control, so they advocated for early marriage to prevent men from succumbing to temptation in their youth. Some commended early marriage for its benefits: Rabbi Ḥisda maintained that early marriage could lead to increased intelligence.
A large age gap between spouses, in either direction, is advised against as unwise. A younger woman marrying a significantly older man however is especially problematic: marrying one's young daughter to an old man was declared as reprehensible as forcing her into prostitution. Moreover, it is problematic for an older man to be unmarried in the first place. Marriage is held to be uniquely mandatory for men, and an unmarried man over the age of twenty is considered "cursed by God Himself."
There is evidence however that in some communities males did not marry until "thirty or older." In medieval
Jewish Ashkenazi communities, women continued to be married young. Since the
Enlightenment, young marriage has become rarer among Jewish communities.
Consent
According to the Talmud, a father is commanded not to marry his daughter to anyone until she grows up and says, "I want this one". A marriage that takes place without the consent of the girl is not an effective legal marriage.
A (literally meaning "little
ne) was any girl between the age of 3 years and that of 12 years plus one day;
she was subject to her father's authority, and he could arrange a marriage for her without her agreement.
However, after reaching the age of maturity, she would have to agree to the marriage to be considered as married. If the father was dead or missing, the brothers of the , collectively, had the right to arrange a marriage for her, as had her mother.
In these situations, a would always have the right to
annul
Annulment is a legal procedure within secular and religious legal systems for declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is usually retroactive, meaning that an annulled marriage is considered to be invalid from the beginning almost ...
her marriage, even if it was the first.
If the marriage did end (due to divorce or the husband's death), any further marriages were optional; the retained her right to annul them.
The choice of a to annul a marriage, known in Hebrew as (literally meaning "refusal", "denial", "protest"),
led to a true annulment, not a divorce; a divorce document () was not necessary, and a who did this was not regarded by legal regulations as a divorcee, in relation to the marriage.
[''Yebamot'' 108a] Unlike divorce, was regarded with distaste by many rabbinic writers,
even in the Talmud; in earlier classical Judaism, one major faction – the
House of Shammai
The House of Hillel (Beit Hillel) and House of Shammai (Beit Shammai) were, among Jewish scholars, two schools of thought during the period of tannaim, named after the sages Hillel and Shammai (of the last century BCE and the early 1st century C ...
– argued that such annulment rights only existed during the betrothal (not engagement) period () and not once the actual marriage () had begun.
Intermarriage
Rates of marriage between Jews and non-Jews have increased in countries other than Israel (the
Jewish diaspora
The Jewish diaspora ( he, תְּפוּצָה, təfūṣā) or exile (Hebrew: ; Yiddish: ) is the dispersion of Israelites or Jews out of their ancient ancestral homeland (the Land of Israel) and their subsequent settlement in other parts of t ...
). According to the
National Jewish Population Survey 2000-01, 47% of marriages involving Jews in the United States between 1996 and 2001 were with non-Jewish partners. Jewish leaders in different branches generally agree that possible assimilation is a crisis, but they differ on the proper response to
intermarriage.
Attitudes
* All branches of
Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism is the collective term for the traditionalist and theologically conservative branches of contemporary Judaism. Theologically, it is chiefly defined by regarding the Torah, both Written and Oral, as revealed by God to Moses on M ...
do not sanction the validity or legitimacy of intermarriages.
*
Conservative Judaism
Conservative Judaism, known as Masorti Judaism outside North America, is a Jewish religious movement which regards the authority of ''halakha'' (Jewish law) and traditions as coming primarily from its people and community through the generatio ...
does not sanction intermarriage, but encourages acceptance of the non-Jewish spouse within the family, hoping that such acceptance will lead to conversion.
*
Reform Judaism
Reform Judaism, also known as Liberal Judaism or Progressive Judaism, is a major Jewish denomination that emphasizes the evolving nature of Judaism, the superiority of its ethical aspects to its ceremonial ones, and belief in a continuous searc ...
and
Reconstructionist Judaism
Reconstructionist Judaism is a Jewish movement that views Judaism as a progressively evolving civilization rather than a religion, based on concepts developed by Mordecai Kaplan (1881–1983). The movement originated as a semi-organized stream wi ...
permit total personal autonomy in interpretation of
Jewish Law
''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also Romanization of Hebrew, transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Judaism, Jewish religious laws which is derived from the Torah, written and Oral Tora ...
, and intermarriage is not forbidden. Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis are free to take their own approach to performing marriages between a Jewish and non-Jewish partner. Many, but not all, seek agreement from the couple that the children will be raised as Jewish.
There are also differences between streams on what constitutes an intermarriage, arising from their
differing criteria for being Jewish in the first place. Orthodox Jews do not accept as Jewish a person whose mother is not Jewish, nor a convert whose conversion was conducted under the authority of a more liberal stream.
Marriage in Israel
In
Israel
Israel (; he, יִשְׂרָאֵל, ; ar, إِسْرَائِيل, ), officially the State of Israel ( he, מְדִינַת יִשְׂרָאֵל, label=none, translit=Medīnat Yīsrāʾēl; ), is a country in Western Asia. It is situated ...
, the only institutionalized form of Jewish marriage is the religious one, i.e., a marriage conducted under the auspices of the rabbinate. Specifically, marriage of Israeli Jews must be conducted according to Jewish Law (), as viewed by
Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism is the collective term for the traditionalist and theologically conservative branches of contemporary Judaism. Theologically, it is chiefly defined by regarding the Torah, both Written and Oral, as revealed by God to Moses on M ...
. One consequence is that Jews in Israel who cannot marry according to
Jewish law
''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also Romanization of Hebrew, transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Judaism, Jewish religious laws which is derived from the Torah, written and Oral Tora ...
(e.g., a and a
divorcée, or a Jew and one who is not
halachically Jewish), cannot marry each other. This has led for calls, mostly from the secular segment of the Israeli public, for the institution of civil marriage.
Some secular-Jewish Israelis travel abroad to have
civil marriages
A civil marriage is a marriage performed, recorded, and recognized by a government official. Such a marriage may be performed by a religious body and recognized by the state, or it may be entirely secular.
History
Every country maintaining a pop ...
, either because they do not wish an Orthodox wedding or because their union cannot be sanctioned by . These marriages are legally recognized by the State, but are not recognized by the State Rabbinate.
Marriages performed in Israel must be carried out by religious authorities of an official religion (Judaism, Islam, Christianity, or Druze), unless both parties are without religion.
Divorce
(Jewish Law) allows for divorce. The document of divorce is termed a . The final divorce ceremony involves the husband giving the document into the hand of the wife or her agent, but the wife may sue in rabbinical court to initiate the divorce. In such a case, a husband may be compelled to give the , if he has violated any of his numerous obligations; this was traditionally accomplished by beating and or monetary coercion. The rationale was that since he was required to divorce his wife due to his (or her) violations of the contract, his good inclination desires to divorce her, and the community helps him to do what he wants to do anyway. In this case, the wife may or may not be entitled to a payment.
Since around the 12th century, Judaism recognized the right of a wife abused physically or psychologically to a divorce.
Conservative Judaism
Conservative Judaism, known as Masorti Judaism outside North America, is a Jewish religious movement which regards the authority of ''halakha'' (Jewish law) and traditions as coming primarily from its people and community through the generatio ...
follows halacha, although differently than
Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism is the collective term for the traditionalist and theologically conservative branches of contemporary Judaism. Theologically, it is chiefly defined by regarding the Torah, both Written and Oral, as revealed by God to Moses on M ...
. Reform Jews usually use an egalitarian form of the at their weddings. They generally do not issue Jewish divorces, seeing a civil divorce as both necessary and sufficient; however, some Reform rabbis encourage the couple to go through a Jewish divorce procedure. Orthodox Judaism does not recognize civil law as overriding religious law, and thus does not view a civil divorce as sufficient. Therefore, a man or woman may be considered divorced by the Reform Jewish community, but still married by the Conservative community. Orthodox Judaism usually does not recognize Reform weddings because according to Talmudic law, the witnesses to the marriage must be Jews who observe , which is seldom the case in reform weddings.
Traditionally, when a husband fled, or his whereabouts were unknown for any reason, the woman was considered an (literally "an anchored woman"), and was not allowed to remarry; in traditional Judaism, divorce can only be initiated by the husband. Prior to modern communication, the death of the husband while in a distant land was a common cause of this situation. In modern times, when a husband refuses to issue a due to money, property, or custody battles, the woman who cannot remarry is considered a , not an agunah. A man in this situation would not be termed a (literally, "a refuser of a divorce document"), unless a legitimate Beis Din had required him to issue a Get. The term is often used in such circumstances, but it is not technically accurate.
Within both the Conservative and Orthodox communities, there are efforts to avoid situations where a woman is not able to obtain a Jewish divorce from her husband. The serves this function in
Conservative Judaism
Conservative Judaism, known as Masorti Judaism outside North America, is a Jewish religious movement which regards the authority of ''halakha'' (Jewish law) and traditions as coming primarily from its people and community through the generatio ...
in order to prevent husbands from refusing to give their wives a divorce. To do this, the has built in provisions; so, if predetermined circumstances occur, the divorce goes into effect immediately.
After the fact, various Jewish and secular legal methods are used to deal with such problems. None of the legal solutions addresses the problem in the case of a missing husband.
Same-sex marriage
In antiquity
The
Midrash
''Midrash'' (;["midrash"]
''Random House Webster's Unabridged Dictionary''. he, מִדְרָשׁ; ...
is one of the few ancient religious texts that makes reference to
same-sex marriage
Same-sex marriage, also known as gay marriage, is the marriage of two people of the same Legal sex and gender, sex or gender. marriage between same-sex couples is legally performed and recognized in 33 countries, with the most recent being ...
. The following teaching can be found twice in the Midrash:
Another important reference is found in the
Babylonian Talmud
The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the cente ...
:
In Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism does not have a Jewish legal construct of same-gender marriage. While any two Jewish adults may be joined by a Jewish legal contract, the rites of are reserved for a union of a man and woman. Orthodox Judaism does not recognize civil marriages to have theological legal standing, be they civil marriages between male and female, or between two adults of the same gender.
In Conservative Judaism
In June 2012, the American branch of
Conservative Judaism
Conservative Judaism, known as Masorti Judaism outside North America, is a Jewish religious movement which regards the authority of ''halakha'' (Jewish law) and traditions as coming primarily from its people and community through the generatio ...
formally approved same-sex marriage ceremonies in a 13–0 vote with one abstention.
In Reform Judaism
In 1996, the
Central Conference of American Rabbis
The Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), founded in 1889 by Rabbi Isaac Mayer Wise, is the principal organization of Reform rabbis in the United States and Canada. The CCAR is the largest and oldest rabbinical organization in the world. I ...
passed a resolution approving same-sex civil marriage. However, this same resolution made a distinction between civil marriages and religious marriages; this resolution thus stated:
In 1998, an ad hoc CCAR committee on human sexuality issued its majority report (11 to 1, 1 abstention) which stated that the holiness within a Jewish marriage "may be present in committed same gender relationships between two Jews and that these relationships can serve as the foundation of stable Jewish families, thus adding strength to the Jewish community." The report called for CCAR to support rabbis in officiating at same-sex marriages. Also in 1998, the Responsa Committee of the CCAR issued a lengthy (rabbinical opinion)
that offered detailed argumentation in support of both sides of the question whether a rabbi may officiate at a commitment ceremony for a same-sex couple.
In March 2000, CCAR issued a new resolution stating that "We do hereby resolve that the relationship of a Jewish, same gender couple is worthy of affirmation through appropriate Jewish ritual, and further resolve, that we recognize the diversity of opinions within our ranks on this issue. We support the decision of those who choose to officiate at rituals of union for same-sex couples, and we support the decision of those who do not."
In Reconstructionist Judaism
The
Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association The Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association (RRA) founded in 1974, is the professional association of rabbis affiliated with Reconstructionist Judaism. It has approximately 300 members, most of whom are graduates of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical ...
(RRA) encourages its members to officiate at same-sex marriages, though it does not require it of them.
See also
*
Jewish prenuptial agreement
The Jewish prenuptial agreement has been developed in recent times with the stated intent of keeping the Jewish woman from becoming an agunah in cases where the husband refuses to grant her a ''get'' (Jewish divorce document). Without such an agree ...
* (guidelines for physical contact)
* (matchmaker)
* (modest behavior)
* (prohibitions of seclusion with the opposite sex)
Notes
References
{{Jews and Judaism
Marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
Marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
Marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
Marriage
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
Judaism and children
Sexuality and age