Marjorie Dawes

This is a list of characters for the British television and radio sketch show ''Little Britain'' (and its American spin-off, ''Little Britain USA'').

Overview

;Key
: Characters that appear for only one sketch are not listed in the table

A

Alan

Appearances: Series 3

Alan works for the Donkey Hospice in the town of Achingballs. After contributors give him some money, he blatantly places stickers on embarrassing body parts, such as the genital region or breasts and on someone's rear in a deleted scene. He makes one appearance in Series 3.

Peter Andre

Episodes: Radio Show; Series 1, episodes 4 and 5

Catchphrase: "I love you Anne" and "I need you Anne"

Peter Andre is a Royal correspondent for the BBC who gets sacked after first making surreal and false claims about the Royal Family (such as Prince Charles having magical powers, describing the queen as "The Main One" and mistaking Princess Eugenie for her mother, Sarah, Duchess of York) and then expressing his love for Princess Anne through song. He later attempts to enter a royal garden party to give her some drawings, despite being scruffy and without trousers, and is turned away by police. The character's name is a reference to the singer. There are also two deleted scenes in which Peter Andre appears backstage at the Royal Variety Performance (impersonating Keith Harris and Orville the Duck) and at a drug rehab centre.

Anne

Appearances: Starting in Series 1

Catchphrase: "Eh-eh-ehhh!"

Anne is a patient at the Steven Spielberg Hospital in Little Bentcock, where she is being trained for integration into society. She is severely mentally challenged, except when answering calls on her mobile phone, when she converses in a completely coherent and polite manner. Unfortunately for her psychiatrist, Dr. Lawrence, who is almost always accompanied by Dr. Beagrie, she displays poor progress when observed. She often resorts to extreme behaviour, such as licking or stroking the faces of other people, or destroying things around her. Anne likes poo. She painted a picture out of poo and wrote "Merry Xmas" in poo. Anne has worked at a library (where she earns £5 but then, much to the doctor's surprise, intentionally drops the money into a drain), at a bowling alley and as a pianist in a restaurant; she takes a keen interest in amateur dramatics and home decoration. Her character is similar to that of Mr Doggy's owner.

Anne has appeared in all series and had a '' Stars in Their Eyes'' sketch for ''Little Britain Live''. In ''Little Britain Abroad'', Anne met the Pope and went to the Louvre in Paris, from where she stole the Mona Lisa. She also licked the Pope's face, and showed him her fanny. She did not, however, appear in ''Little Britain USA. She is 39 years old''

Ashraf The Horse Whisperer

Appearances: Series 3 episode 5

Ashraf is an Indian man working at the local computer shop. He has an unusual way of using a horse to help customers with their IT problems.

B

Mrs B

Appearances: Series 2 episode 5

Catchphrase: "Fetch", "Good boy"

Every time she goes out to give refreshment to the builders who are doing work on her garden, she gives them biscuits as if they were a dog. This is by throwing them on the floor or making them do tricks in order to get the biscuit.

Bank robbers

The bank robbers make an appearance in ''Little Britain USA''. The two appear to be very skillful bank robbers, having a quick and simple manner of robbing a bank, with one going in and demanding money while the other drives the getaway vehicle, and a very secluded hideout. However, it becomes clear that the two are actually too timid to rob the bank properly, with the one played by Lucas getting only a handful of desk pens and the one played by Walliams a desk marker saying "Position closed" on the second attempt, rather than money.

Carol Beer

Appearances: Starting in Series 2

Catchphrase: " Computer says no.... (coughs)" as well as offering bizarre substitutes to requests.

Carol Beer is a perpetually disillusioned woman who works in a number of jobs that require a very close relationship with her computer, such as a bank clerk, a travel agent or a hospital receptionist. When approached with a reasonable request, such as opening a bank account, a holiday to America or making an appointment, she will type the information into her computer. Upon discovering that the request cannot be met, she will answer with a deadpan "Computer says no." As a travel agent, she would then follow up her refusal with an offer of a strange, and often unhelpful substitute, of the kind that the customer is very unlikely to agree to, such as (when the client asked for a flight to Orlando) "I've got a flight to Guildford" or (when asked for a boat ride for two people) "There is one place left. Would one of you be prepared to swim alongside?" When she does occasionally offer a helpful alternative (for example, when the recipient wants a flight to Toronto, and she offers a flight to Vancouver), she will make it unhelpful by saying the flight is taxiing now. She is unwilling to use any human initiative beyond checking her computer to help her customers further, and will instead cough in their face to get them to go away. Occasionally, she will amuse herself by being extra unhelpful (such as cancelling a customer's flight plan when he requests a vegetarian option, or telling a child wanting to go to Disney World that the "Mickey Mouse" will just be a man in a suit), finding new ways of swearing in front of children and getting away with it, coughing right in their faces, or just being rude. Another of her trademarks is that, whenever a customer reveals an aspect of their personal lives (such as when a man comments that it's been a while since he saw his daughter, or a couple comment that they have been married for thirty years), she will shrug her shoulders and mutter "Oh."

In ''Little Britain Abroad'', Carol was a rep for a holiday to Spain. When a woman became nauseous, and she and her husband got off the coach for fresh air, Carol drove off without them. When a couple wished to book an excursion, Carol said there was one place left, and asked if they’d be prepared to swim alongside. They then complained about Carol, saying that she'd been rude and unhelpful. Carol was furious when she discovered this. After Carol pretended to cry, they agreed to withdraw the complaint, and she called them "dirty shitters". In a deleted scene, she does a karaoke cover of "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters (where she just repeats the chorus), and the woman loses her temper with her.

Carol Beer appears in ''Little Britain USA'', in which she is the receptionist at a hospital. Her most recent escapades involved offering a child named Danielle Lloyd for double-hip replacement (saying that there is "only one Danielle Lloyd" using the hospital), verbally abusing and annoying a pregnant woman and her husband, and denying an injured patient an X-ray. In her final sketch, she tells an elderly patient that he's listed as deceased, as well as getting frustrated by his slow walking (eventually shouting "Oh, for fuck's sake"). The patient then gives Carol the middle finger after being ordered to move faster.

In the 2009 Comic Relief for Red Nose Day, comedian Catherine Tate stars as Carol's boss, Dawn, who is evaluating Carol to see if she makes standards to keep her job during a credit crunch.

Carol was considered to appear in Lucas and Walliams' new comedy '' Come Fly with Me'', working as a check-in manager for Flylo Airlines, but was rejected as David Walliams didn't want it to be a spinoff of ''Little Britain''.

Letty Bell

Appearances: Series 3 episode 3

Catchphrase: "I love me froggies" and "KILL IT"

Letty appears in only one sketch in Series 3, in which she appears to have an obsession for frogs ("froggies") as her house has in it many frog-related novelties, plus she loudly admits it. The sketch shows her birthday. When her friends present her with a real frog, she strangely reacts with fear and bludgeons it to death with a rolling pin. Originally intended as a recurring character, she also appears in several deleted scenes from Series 3. Letty also appears in the ''Little Britain'' video game. In a deleted scene, she lives in a small village called "Slut".

Len Boothe

Appearances: Series 1 episode 7

Catchphrase: "It was just (near a certain location) that my wife Eileen first (did something of a sexual nature)"

Len Boothe appears in just one episode of Series 1. He works as the voice-over man on tours of his hometown of Pove. Whenever the tour bus passes a location (i.e. the blacksmiths, the church, the 'Hanging Judge' pub, or the Roman bridge), he tells the people a little bit about the place, and then also says something about what his wife Eileen (they've been married at least 32 years, and the details become more vulgar as the tour proceeds) did to him there:

*Church: First kiss.
*Pub: Touched her breasts.
*Blacksmiths: Performed oral sex.
*Bridge: Went up the ' wrong-un'.

In Series 1 Deleted Scenes, Len is still working on the bus tours; however, he has a French woman on the bus (presumably Matt Lucas), who keeps needing to sit down when she and her husband get off the bus. And, she repeats this when the passengers get back on. The woman had the same appearance as Bubbles DeVere.

Boris the Babysitter

Appearances: Radio Show; Series 1, episode 8

Catchphrase: "Your baby is fine"

Appearing in Episode 8 of Series one, Boris is an intense, but well-meaning Russian man who works as a babysitter. In his appearance, he babysits the son of a couple who are about to go out for a work function. Due to his intimidating appearance and behaviour, the couple are nervous about leaving their baby with him. They decide to take their chances and leave. Despite their worries, Boris turns out to be a great babysitter, spending his time teaching the baby to play the Balalaika, showing it the silent film '' The Battleship Potemkin'', playing with Stalin and Lenin puppets and dancing around with it on his shoulders. The couple return to find the baby sound asleep with Boris playing his Balalaika to it, and Boris leaves, still acting strangely (and responding to the question "did you have to change him?" with "No, is still the same baby."). The baby then says to the couple "Comrade Stalin salutes you!" Throughout the sketch, Boris mentions having a deceased mother called Piet'kà (Russian: Петька, the informal form of the name Peter) and an evil brother called Josef.

PCs Bryce and Rawlinson

Appearances: Series 2 episode 3

Catchphrase: "We must have the wrong house!"

PCs Bryce and Rawlinson appear in Series 2 episode 3, in which they are trying to give some sad news to a Mrs. Harris, whose husband has died in a car accident. In the first sketch, they give the news to the wrong Mrs. Harris, and then laugh hysterically when they learn that they've made a mistake. However, when they give the news to the real Mrs. Harris, they laugh at the memory of their faux-pas

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