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A stepmother, stepmum or stepmom is a non-biological female parent married to one's preexisting parent. A stepmother-in-law is a stepmother of one's spouse. Children from her spouse's previous unions are known as her stepchildren.


Culture

Stepparents (mainly stepmothers) may also face some societal challenges due to the stigma surrounding the "evil stepmother" character. Morello notes that the introduction of the "evil stepmother" character in the past is problematic to stepparents today, as it has created a stigma towards stepmothers. The presence of this stigma can have a negative impact on stepmothers' self-esteem.


Fiction

In fiction, stepmothers are often portrayed as being wicked and
evil Evil, in a general sense, is defined as the opposite or absence of good. It can be an extremely broad concept, although in everyday usage it is often more narrowly used to talk about profound wickedness and against common good. It is general ...
. The character of the wicked stepmother features heavily in fairy tales; the most famous examples are ''
Cinderella "Cinderella",; french: link=no, Cendrillon; german: link=no, Aschenputtel) or "The Little Glass Slipper", is a folk tale with thousands of variants throughout the world.Dundes, Alan. Cinderella, a Casebook. Madison, Wis: University of Wisconsi ...
'', ''
Snow White "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" is a 19th-century German fairy tale that is today known widely across the Western world. The Brothers Grimm published it in 1812 in the first edition of their collection '' Grimms' Fairy Tales'' and numbered as T ...
'' and ''
Hansel and Gretel "Hansel and Gretel" (; german: Hänsel und Gretel ) is a German fairy tale collected by the German Brothers Grimm and published in 1812 in ''Grimm's Fairy Tales'' (KHM 15). It is also known as Little Step Brother and Little Step Sister. Hansel ...
''. Stepdaughters are her most common victim, and then stepdaughter/stepson pairs, but stepsons also are victims as in '' The Juniper Tree''''The Annotated Classic Fairy Tales'', p. 161—sometimes, as in ''
East of the Sun and West of the Moon "East of the Sun and West of the Moon" ( no, Østenfor sol og vestenfor måne) is a Norwegian fairy tale. It was included by Andrew Lang in ''The Blue Fairy Book'' (1890). "East of the Sun and West of the Moon" was collected by Peter Christen ...
'', because he refused to marry his stepsister as she wished, or, indeed, they may make their stepdaughters-in-law their victims, as in ''
The Boys with the Golden Stars The Boys with the Golden Stars (Romanian: ''Doi feți cu stea în frunte'') is a Romanian fairy tale collected in ''Rumänische Märchen''. Andrew Lang included it in ''The Violet Fairy Book''.Lang, Andrew. The Violet Fairy Book'. London; New Yo ...
''. In some fairy tales, such as
Giambattista Basile Giambattista Basile (February 1566 – February 1632) was an Italian poet, courtier, and fairy tale collector. His collections include the oldest recorded forms of many well-known (and more obscure) European fairy tales. He is chiefly remembere ...
's ''La Gatta Cennerentola'' or the Danish ''
Green Knight The Green Knight ( cy, Marchog Gwyrdd, kw, Marghek Gwyrdh, br, Marc'heg Gwer) is a character from the 14th-century Arthurian poem ''Sir Gawain and the Green Knight'' and the related medieval work ''The Greene Knight''. His true name is revea ...
'', the stepmother wins the marriage by ingratiating herself with the stepdaughter, and once she obtains it, becomes cruel. In some fairy tales, the stepdaughter's escape by marrying does not free her from her stepmother. After the birth of the stepdaughter's first child, the stepmother may attempt to murder the new mother and replace her with her own daughter—thus making her the stepmother to the next generation. Such a replacement occurs in ''
The Wonderful Birch The Wonderful Birch (russian: Чудесная берёза) is a Finnish/Russian fairy tale. A variant on Cinderella, it is Aarne–Thompson folktale type 510A, the persecuted heroine. It makes use of shapeshifting motifs. Andrew Lang included i ...
'', ''
Brother and Sister "Brother and Sister" (also "Little Sister and Little Brother"; German: ''Brüderchen und Schwesterchen'') is a European fairy tale which was, among others, written down by the Brothers Grimm (KHM 11). It is a tale of Aarne–Thompson Type 450. In ...
'', and ''
The Three Little Men in the Wood "The Three Little Men in the Wood" or "The Three Little Gnomes in the Forest" (german: Die drei Männlein im Walde) is a German fairy tale collected in 1812 by the Brothers Grimm in ''Grimm's Fairy Tales'' (KHM 13). Andrew Lang included it in '' Th ...
''; only by foiling the stepmother's plot (and usually executing her), is the story brought to a happy ending. In the Korean Folktale ''
Janghwa Hongryeon jeon Janghwa Hongryeon jeon (literally ''The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon'') is a Joseon-era Korean folktale. Story Introduction Once upon a time, there was a man named Muryong whose wife had a dream where an angel gave her a beautiful flowe ...
'', the stepmother kills her own stepdaughters. In many stories with evil stepmothers, the hostility between the stepmother and the stepchild is underscored by having the child succeed through aid from the dead mother. This motif occurs from
Norse mythology Norse, Nordic, or Scandinavian mythology is the body of myths belonging to the North Germanic peoples, stemming from Old Norse religion and continuing after the Christianization of Scandinavia, and into the Nordic folklore of the modern period ...
, where Svipdagr rouses his mother
Gróa In Norse mythology, Gróa (possibly from Old Norse "growing"Orchard (1997:63).) is a völva (seeress) and practitioner of ''seiðr''. She is the wife of Aurvandil the Bold. Attestations ''Prose Edda'' Gróa appears in the ''Prose Edda'' book ...
from the grave so as to learn from her how to accomplish a task his stepmother set, to fairy tales such as the
Brothers Grimm The Brothers Grimm ( or ), Jacob (1785–1863) and Wilhelm (1786–1859), were a brother duo of German academics, philologists, cultural researchers, lexicographers, and authors who together collected and published folklore. They are among the ...
version of ''
Cinderella "Cinderella",; french: link=no, Cendrillon; german: link=no, Aschenputtel) or "The Little Glass Slipper", is a folk tale with thousands of variants throughout the world.Dundes, Alan. Cinderella, a Casebook. Madison, Wis: University of Wisconsi ...
'', where Aschenputtel receives her clothing from a tree growing on her mother's grave, the Russian ''
Vasilissa the Beautiful Vasilisa the Beautiful (russian: Василиса Прекрасная) or Vasilisa the Fair is a Russian fairy tale collected by Alexander Afanasyev in '' Narodnye russkie skazki''. Synopsis By his first wife, a merchant had a single daughter, ...
'', where Vasilissa is aided by a doll her mother gave, and her mother's blessing, and the Malay ''
Bawang Putih Bawang Merah Bawang merah dan bawang putih ( Indonesian for Shallots and Garlic) is a popular traditional Malay and Indonesian folklore involving two siblings with opposite characters (one good and one bad), and an unjust step mother. The folktale has the simi ...
'', where the heroine's mother comes back as fish to protect her. The notion of the word ''stepmother'' being descriptive of an intrinsically unkind parent is suggested by peculiar wording in John Gamble's "An Irish Wake" (1826). He writes of a woman soon to die, who instructs her successor to "be kind to my children." Gamble writes that the injunction was forgotten and that she "proved a very step-mother." Fairy tales can have variants where one tale has an evil mother and the other an evil stepmother: in ''
The Six Swans "The Six Swans" (German: ''Die sechs Schwäne'') is a German fairy tale collected by the Brothers Grimm in ''Grimm's Fairy Tales'' in 1812 (KHM 49). It is of Aarne–Thompson type 451 ("The Maiden Who Seeks Her Brothers"), commonly found throu ...
'' by the
Brothers Grimm The Brothers Grimm ( or ), Jacob (1785–1863) and Wilhelm (1786–1859), were a brother duo of German academics, philologists, cultural researchers, lexicographers, and authors who together collected and published folklore. They are among the ...
and also in ''
The Wild Swans The Wild Swans ( Danish: ''De vilde svaner'') is a literary fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen about a princess who rescues her 11 brothers from a spell cast by an evil queen. The tale was first published on 2 October 1838 in Andersen's ...
'' by
Hans Christian Andersen Hans Christian Andersen ( , ; 2 April 1805 – 4 August 1875) was a Danish author. Although a prolific writer of plays, travelogues, novels, and poems, he is best remembered for his literary fairy tales. Andersen's fairy tales, consisti ...
, the heroine is persecuted by her husband's mother and in another one by her stepmother, and in ''
The Twelve Wild Ducks "The Twelve Wild Ducks" ( Norwegian: ''De tolv villender'') is a Norwegian fairy tale collected by Peter Christen Asbjørnsen and Jørgen Moe in ''Norske Folkeeventyr''. It is Aarne–Thompson type 451, the brothers who were turned into birds. ...
'', by his stepmother. Sometimes this appears to be a deliberate switch: The
Brothers Grimm The Brothers Grimm ( or ), Jacob (1785–1863) and Wilhelm (1786–1859), were a brother duo of German academics, philologists, cultural researchers, lexicographers, and authors who together collected and published folklore. They are among the ...
, having put in their first editions versions of ''
Snow White "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" is a 19th-century German fairy tale that is today known widely across the Western world. The Brothers Grimm published it in 1812 in the first edition of their collection '' Grimms' Fairy Tales'' and numbered as T ...
'' and ''
Hansel and Gretel "Hansel and Gretel" (; german: Hänsel und Gretel ) is a German fairy tale collected by the German Brothers Grimm and published in 1812 in ''Grimm's Fairy Tales'' (KHM 15). It is also known as Little Step Brother and Little Step Sister. Hansel ...
'' where the villain was the biological mother, altered it to a stepmother in later editions, perhaps to mitigate the story's violence. Another reason for the change from a villainous mother to a villainous stepmother may have been the belief that mothers were sacred, as well as the belief that people would not believe that a mother could harbor such ill-will and animosity toward their child. The Icelandic fairy tale ''
The Horse Gullfaxi and the Sword Gunnfoder "The Horse Gullfaxi and the Sword Gunnföder" is an Icelandic fairy tale, included by Andrew Lang in ''The Crimson Fairy Book'' (1903). It was adapted from "", a German translation by in his (1884). Poestion acquired the Icelandic text from his c ...
'' features a good stepmother, who indeed aids the prince like a
fairy godmother In fairy tales, a fairy godmother () is a fairy with magical powers who acts as a mentor or parent to someone, in the role that an actual godparent was expected to play in many societies. In Perrault's ''Cinderella'', he concludes the tale wit ...
, but this figure is very rare in fairy tales. The stepmother may be identified with other evils the characters meet. For instance, both the stepmother and the witch in ''Hansel and Gretel'' are deeply concerned with food, the stepmother to avoid hunger, the witch with her house built of food and her desire to eat the children, and when the children kill the witch and return home, their stepmother has mysteriously died. This hostility from the stepmother and tenderness from the true mother has been interpreted in varying ways. A psychological interpretation, by
Bruno Bettelheim Bruno Bettelheim (August 28, 1903 – March 13, 1990) was an Austrian-born psychologist, scholar, public intellectual and writer who spent most of his academic and clinical career in the United States. An early writer on autism, Bettelheim's wor ...
, describes it as "splitting" the actual mother in an ideal mother and a false mother that contains what the child dislikes in the actual mother. However, historically, many women died in childbirth, their husbands remarried, and the new stepmothers competed with the children of the first marriage for resources; the tales can be interpreted as factual conflicts from history. In some fairy tales, such as ''The Juniper Tree'', the stepmother's hostility is overtly the desire to secure the inheritance of her children. Stepmothers also make many appearances in Chinese tales of family. Wicked stepmothers are common. In ''
Classic of Filial Piety The ''Classic of Filial Piety'', also known by its Chinese name as the ''Xiaojing'', is a Confucian classic treatise giving advice on filial piety: that is, how to behave towards a senior such as a father, an elder brother, or a ruler. The t ...
'', Guo Jujing told the story of Min Ziqian, who had lost his mother at a young age. His stepmother had two more sons and saw to it that they were warmly dressed in winter but neglected her stepson. When her husband discovered this, he decided to divorce her. His son interceded, on the ground that she neglected only him, but when they had no mother, all three sons would be neglected. His father relented, and the stepmother henceforth took care of all three children. For this, he was held up as a model of
filial piety In Confucianism, Chinese Buddhism, and Daoist ethics, filial piety (, ''xiào'') (Latin: pietas) is a virtue of respect for one's parents, elders, and ancestors. The Confucian '' Classic of Filial Piety'', thought to be written around the lat ...
. Conversely, the exemplary stepmother prefers the stepson to her own child, in recognition that his seniority makes him superior.Mark Edward Lewis ''The Early Chinese Empires: Qin and Han'' p. 158 The "righteous stepmother of Qi", faced with her son and stepson having been found by a murdered man, and both having confessed to shield the other, argues for her son's execution because her husband had ordered her to look after her stepson, and her son is the junior brother; the king pardoned them both for her devotion to duty. The ubiquity of the wicked stepmother has made it a frequent theme of revisionist
fairy tale fantasy Fairytale fantasy is distinguished from other subgenres of fantasy by the works' heavy use of motifs, and often plots, from folklore. History Literary fairy tales were not unknown in the Roman era: Apuleius included several in ''The Golden Ass' ...
. This can range from
Tanith Lee Tanith Lee (19 September 1947 – 24 May 2015) was a British science fiction and fantasy writer. She wrote more than 90 novels and 300 short stories, and was the winner of multiple World Fantasy Society Derleth Awards, the World Fantasy Lifetime ...
's ''Red as Blood'', where the stepmother queen is desperately trying to protect the land from her evil stepdaughter's magic, to
Diana Wynne Jones Diana Wynne Jones (16 August 1934 – 26 March 2011) was a British novelist, poet, academic, literary critic, and short story writer. She principally wrote fantasy and speculative fiction novels for children and young adults. Although usually d ...
's ''
Howl's Moving Castle ''Howl's Moving Castle'' is a fantasy novel by British author Diana Wynne Jones, first published in 1986 by Greenwillow Books of New York. It was a runner-up for the annual Boston Globe–Horn Book Award, and won the Phoenix Award twenty years ...
'', where, although it is known that stepmothers are evil, the actual stepmother is guilty of nothing more than some carelessness, to
Erma Bombeck Erma Louise Bombeck (''née'' Fiste; February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper humor column describing suburban home life, syndicated from 1965 to 1996. She also published 15 b ...
's retelling where
Cinderella "Cinderella",; french: link=no, Cendrillon; german: link=no, Aschenputtel) or "The Little Glass Slipper", is a folk tale with thousands of variants throughout the world.Dundes, Alan. Cinderella, a Casebook. Madison, Wis: University of Wisconsi ...
is lazy and a liar. More subtly,
Piers Anthony Piers Anthony Dillingham Jacob (born 6 August 1934) is an American author in the science fiction and Fantasy (genre), fantasy genres, publishing under the name Piers Anthony. He is best known for his :Xanth books, long-running novel series set in ...
depicted the Princess Threnody as being cursed by her stepmother in '' Crewel Lye: A Caustic Yarn'': if she ever entered Castle Roogna, it would fall down. But Threnody explains that her presence at the castle caused her father to dote on her and neglect his duties to the destruction of the kingdom; her stepmother had merely made her destructive potential literal, and forced her to confront what she was doing. The character of the evil stepmother can also be found in the genre of
young adult fiction Young adult fiction (YA) is a category of fiction written for readers from 12 to 18 years of age. While the genre is primarily targeted at adolescents, approximately half of YA readers are adults. The subject matter and genres of YA correlate ...
or young adult social problem novels. In Lisa Heathfield's Paper Butterflies. the protagonist June suffers horrific abuse at the hands of her stepmother, a fact that she conceals from her father. Despite many examples of evil or cruel stepmothers, loving stepmothers also exist in fiction. In
Kevin and Kell ''Kevin and Kell'' is a furry comedy webcomic strip by syndicated cartoonist Bill Holbrook. The strip began on September 3, 1995, and is one of the oldest continuously running webcomics. The comic's website states it is "The World's Longest R ...
, Kell is portrayed as loving her stepdaughter Lindesfarne, whom her husband Kevin had adopted during his previous marriage. Likewise, Lindesfarne considers Kell her mother, and has a considerably more favorable view of her than Angelique, Kevin's ex-wife and her adoptive mother, due to feeling neglected by Angelique during her childhood. The Disney film '' Enchanted'' also makes references to the "evil stepmother" belief, as the villainess is a stepmother, but her wickedness comes from her selfishness and power hungriness rather than the simple fact she is a stepmother. When a little girl tells the heroine Giselle that all stepmothers are evil, Giselle reminds her that she personally knows some wonderful women who were good stepmothers, and the fact a woman is a stepmother does not suddenly change her personality. This is shown later on when Giselle marries that girl's father, who had her from a previous marriage, thus becoming a stepmother herself. As Giselle is a sweet and caring woman, she makes a good wife and stepmother. However, it is notable that during much of that film, Giselle was more of an older sister figure than a maternal figure to that little girl. In the movie ''
Nanny McPhee ''Nanny McPhee'' is a 2005 comedy drama fantasy film based on the Nurse Matilda character by Christianna Brand. It was directed by Kirk Jones, coproduced by StudioCanal, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures, Working Title Films, Three Strange Angel ...
'' a group of children worry that their father will remarry, believing from their fairy tales that all stepmothers are an "evil breed." Although they help their father marry again to help keep the family together, their soon-to-be stepmother is very cruel, as they suspected. When the wedding to her is called off, the father decides to marry the much kinder scullery maid, causing one child to comment that the evil stepmother personification does not apply to her. Stepmother relationships are often examined in
soap opera A soap opera, or ''soap'' for short, is a typically long-running radio or television serial, frequently characterized by melodrama, ensemble casts, and sentimentality. The term "soap opera" originated from radio dramas originally being sponsored ...
s. An example of this is the long-running rivalry between Victoria Lord Banks and stepmother
Dorian Lord Dorian Lord is a fictional character and matriarch of the Cramer family on the American daytime drama ''One Life to Live'', played most notably and for the longest duration by actress Robin Strasser. Strasser was cast by series creator Agnes Ni ...
on the American soap opera ''
One Life to Live ''One Life to Live'' (often abbreviated as ''OLTL'') is an American soap opera broadcast on the ABC television network for more than 43 years, from July 15, 1968, to January 13, 2012, and then on the internet as a web series on Hulu and iTunes ...
''. In contrast to many other
Disney The Walt Disney Company, commonly known as Disney (), is an American multinational mass media and entertainment conglomerate headquartered at the Walt Disney Studios complex in Burbank, California. Disney was originally founded on October ...
-related media, the animated series ''
Phineas and Ferb ''Phineas and Ferb'' is an American animated musical-comedy television series created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh for Disney Channel and Disney XD. Produced by Disney Television Animation, the series was originally broadcast as ...
'' features a stepfamily in which both parents get along well with their three children (avoiding the normal tropes of evil stepparents). In television, '' Drake & Josh'' features a stepfamily in which both parents usually get along well with their three children. In the series ''
The Adventures of Shirley Holmes ''The Adventures of Shirley Holmes'' is a Canadian mystery TV series that originally aired from May 7, 1997, to May 7, 2000. The show was created by Ellis Iddon and Phil Meagher (of Winklemania Productions, UK) who had produced a successful seri ...
'', one episode featured a princess who was the heir to the throne of her country and feared that her stepmother wanted to have her assassinated as her own son was next in line after her stepdaughter. The episode concludes the revelation that her stepmother actually wanted her stepdaughter to inherit the throne and had attempted to thwart actual assassins who did not want a woman to rule their country. In ''
Sofia the First ''Sofia the First'' is an American animated fantasy children's television series. The show follows a young peasant girl named Sofia (Ariel Winter), who becomes a princess after her mother marries the king of Enchancia. Episodes focus on her adv ...
'', Sofia's mother Miranda became stepmother to Prince James and Princess Amber, she acknowledged there weren't many tales featuring loving and kind stepmothers. This is another example of a well-blended family.


Classical Literature


Greek


Alcestis (play)

438 BCE: The dying biological mother requests that her husband not remarry, for fear of her children being mistreated by a stepmother.


Hippolytus

428 BCE: The stepmother commits suicide to prevent herself from following through on her lust for her stepson and leaves a note falsely claiming that the stepson had raped her.


References

{{Family Stepfamily Parenting Terms for women Cinderella characters Fairy tale stock characters