Sorry, Wrong Number (Dad's Army)
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"The Lion Has 'Phones" is the third episode of the third series of the British comedy series '' Dad's Army''. It was originally transmitted on 25 September 1969.


Synopsis

Captain Mainwaring teaches the platoon how to use a public
telephone box A telephone booth, telephone kiosk, telephone call box, telephone box or public call box is a tiny structure furnished with a payphone and designed for a telephone user's convenience; usually the user steps into the booth and closes the booth ...
for emergency communication.


Plot

After a successful exercise in camouflage, Mainwaring delivers a lecture on communications. Apparently, the four main targets are the
gasometer A gas holder or gasholder, also known as a gasometer, is a large container in which natural gas or town gas is stored near atmospheric pressure at ambient temperatures. The volume of the container follows the quantity of stored gas, with pressu ...
, the railway bridge, the telephone exchange and the reservoir. They are vital to the town's survival, so two men will be posted at each location. If they see anything suspicious, they will phone Mainwaring via the nearest telephone box. Frazer asks Mainwaring what will happen if the telephone boxes are out of action, and many alternatives are suggested, including a heliograph, tick-tacking, shooting a hole in the top of the gasometer and setting fire to it, and tapping the railway line and laying your ear onto it (Pike dismisses this idea by telling Jones that a train may come and run over your ear). Pike and Godfrey admit they do not know how to use a telephone box; Mrs Pike believes they are unhygienic and Godfrey is hopeless with machines. After a hilarious practical demonstration, they march down to the telephone box nearest the reservoir. Pike is the first to get the lesson, but the recipient of the call is his mum, who gives Mainwaring and Wilson an earful. When a queue begins to form, Walker cons them into believing that telephone calls are going on ration from tomorrow. That evening, while out on patrol, Frazer and Walker spot a German plane crash into the reservoir. Walker phones Mainwaring, then mysteriously vanishes. Mainwaring and the rest of the platoon arrive, and their verbal attempts to persuade the Germans to surrender result in heavy gunfire. Mainwaring writes GHQ's phone number on some paper and tells Jones to go and phone them and to memorise and destroy the paper afterwards, but Jones' muddle headedness as he says "Memorise and destroy the phone", and him reading the phone number upside-down (991 instead of 166), results in him ringing the Embassy cinema instead, and ends up believing that
Googie Withers Georgette Lizette Withers, CBE, AO (12 March 191715 July 2011), known professionally as Googie Withers, was an English entertainer who was a dancer and actress with a lengthy career spanning some nine decades in theatre, film, and television. ...
and Eric Portman are aboard the plane. He gets no joy from emergency services either, so ARP Warden Hodges helps Jones get through. Eventually, Lieutenant Hope-Bruce of the Coldstream Guards arrives and tells Mainwaring that they've surrounded the reservoir. He pompously tries to get Mainwaring to leave the situation in the hands of the regular army, but is quick to cancel an incautious order for mortar bombs under Mainwaring's persuasion. Walker returns and tells Mainwaring that he's talked to the man in charge of the reservoir: he has opened the sluices, and the Germans will have to swim for it in less than two hours. Laughing, Mainwaring says they should leave the mopping up to the Coldstream Guards.


Cast

*
Arthur Lowe Arthur Lowe (22 September 1915 – 15 April 1982) was an English actor. His acting career spanned 36 years, including starring roles in numerous theatre and television productions. He played Captain Mainwaring in the British sitcom ''Dad' ...
as Captain Mainwaring * John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson *
Clive Dunn Clive Robert Benjamin Dunn (9 January 19206 November 2012) was an English actor. Although he was only 48 and one of the youngest cast members, he was cast in a role many years his senior, as the elderly Lance Corporal Jones in the BBC sitcom ' ...
as Lance Corporal Jones * John Laurie as Private Frazer * James Beck as Private Walker * Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey * Ian Lavender as Private Pike * Janet Davies as Mrs Pike * Bill Pertwee as ARP Warden Hodges * Avril Angers as the Telephone Operator * Timothy Carlton as Lieutenant Hope-Bruce *
Stanley McGeagh Stanley may refer to: Arts and entertainment Film and television * ''Stanley'' (1972 film), an American horror film * ''Stanley'' (1984 film), an Australian comedy * ''Stanley'' (1999 film), an animated short * ''Stanley'' (1956 TV series) ...
as Sergeant Waller *
Pamela Cundell Pamela Isabel Cundell (15 January 1920 – 14 February 2015) was an English character actress. She played List of Dad's Army characters#Mrs Fox, Mrs Fox in the long-running TV comedy ''Dad's Army''. She was a descendant of Henry Condell, one ...
,
Olive Mercer Olive Mercer (15 September 1905 – 2 January 1983), born Olive Maude Adams, was a British television actress perhaps best known for playing the wife of Maurice Yeatman, the Verger in ''Dad's Army''. Born in 1905 in Hendon in Middlesex, she was ...
and
Bernadette Milnes Bernadette is a French name, a female form of the name Bernard, which means "brave bear". Notable persons with the name include: People * Bernadette (singer) (born 1959), Dutch singer * Bernadette Allen (born 1956), American foreign service of ...
as the Ladies in the Queue *
Gilda Perry ''Gilda'' is a 1946 American film noir directed by Charles Vidor and starring Rita Hayworth in her signature role and Glenn Ford. The film is known for cinematographer Rudolph Maté's lush photography, costume designer Jean Louis's wardrobe for ...
as Doreen *
Linda James Linda Mary James (born 1951, Birmingham, England) is an established artist who has been working in New Zealand for over twenty-five years. She creates large figurative paintings and landscapes. Biography Born in Birmingham, at the age of 2 Linda ...
as Betty *
Richard Jacques Richard Adrian Jacques (; born 1973) is a British composer of film, television and video game music. Best known for his critically acclaimed orchestral scores for blockbuster franchises such as '' James Bond 007: Blood Stone'', ''Sonic R'', '' ...
as Mr Cheesewright * Colin Daniel and Carson Green as Boys


Notes

#The working title for this episode was 'Sorry, Wrong Number', which was the title used for the later radio episode. #The episode title is a reference to the 1939 propaganda film '' The Lion Has Wings''. #When Jones accidentally rings up the cinema, they mistakenly believe he is enquiring about the 1942 film '' One of Our Aircraft Is Missing'' starring, as they tell him, Googie Withers. A poster for this film can be seen on the wall of the box office. #In this episode, Sgt Wilson says "I have never heard you swear before, sir", when Captain Mainwaring says "bloody cheek". This is untrue, as Wilson has heard Mainwaring say "the rotten bastard" in ''
The Showing Up of Corporal Jones "The Showing Up of Corporal Jones" is the fifth episode of the first series of the British comedy series ''Dad's Army''. It was originally transmitted on Wednesday 4 September 1968. Synopsis When Major Regan from GHQ inspects the platoon he dec ...
'', an episode from Series 1. #When the ladies join the queue for the telephone box,
Pamela Cundell Pamela Isabel Cundell (15 January 1920 – 14 February 2015) was an English character actress. She played List of Dad's Army characters#Mrs Fox, Mrs Fox in the long-running TV comedy ''Dad's Army''. She was a descendant of Henry Condell, one ...
's character is referred to as
Mrs Fox ''Dad's Army'' is a British television sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard during the Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft, and originally broadcast on BBC1 from 31 July 1968 to 13 November 1977. It ran for ...
, the character she played two episodes previously, yet she is still credited as 'Lady in Queue'. #In 2020, for the
Dad's Army Appreciation Society The Dad's Army Appreciation Society is an organisation dedicated to the British television show ''Dad's Army''. It is run by a small group of individuals and has over 1,700 members. History The society was founded in 1993 by Bill Pertwee (who pl ...
,
Niles Schilder Niles may refer to: Places Places in the United States * Niles, Fremont, California, a community that is now part of Fremont * Niles, Illinois, a village * Niles, Kansas, an unincorporated community * Niles, Michigan, a city * Niles, North Dakot ...
wrote four scripts about how the platoon would have dealt with the events of 2020. In one of the scripts, ''An Unauthorised Gathering,'' the platoon learn how to wash their hands in a similar way to how they learnt to use a public telephone box in this episode.


References


Further reading

*


External links

* * {{DEFAULTSORT:Lion Has Phones, The Dad's Army (series 3) episodes 1969 British television episodes