''Trojan War'' is a 1997 American

romantic comedy Romantic comedy (also known as romcom or rom-com) is a subgenre of comedy and slice of life fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, such as how true love is able to surmount most obstacles. In a typica ...

film directed by George Huang and starring

Will Friedle Will Friedle () (born August 11, 1976) is an American actor and writer. He is best known for his role as Eric Matthews on the ABC sitcom ''Boy Meets World'' (1993–2000). In animation, he voices Terry McGinnis / Batman on ''Batman Beyond'' (1 ...

Jennifer Love Hewitt Jennifer Love Hewitt (born February 21, 1979) is an American actress and singer. Hewitt began her career as a child actress and singer, appearing in national television commercials before joining the cast of the Disney Channel series ''Kids I ...

, and

Marley Shelton Marley Eve Shelton (born April 12, 1974) is an American actress. She is best known for her roles as Wendy Peffercorn in David Mickey Evans's coming-of-age comedy '' The Sandlot'' (1993), the Customer in Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez's neo-noi ...

. The film was a critical and box office failure. Produced for $15 million, it made only $309 in ticket sales because it was played in a single movie theater and was pulled after only a week.

Plot

High school student Brad (

) has had an unrequited crush on a classmate named Brooke (

) for years. After she asks him to come over one night to tutor her, she ends up wanting to have sex with him. But she only wants

safe sex Safe sex is sexual activity using methods or contraceptive devices (such as condoms) to reduce the risk of transmitting or acquiring sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially HIV. "Safe sex" is also sometimes referred to as safer se ...

, and he does not have a

condom A condom is a sheath-shaped barrier device used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection (STI). There are both male and female condoms. With proper use—and use at every act of in ...

(the use of Trojan in the title is a pun on the condom brand of the same name). In his quest to buy some condoms, he runs into all sorts of trouble; his dad's

Jaguar The jaguar (''Panthera onca'') is a large cat species and the only living member of the genus '' Panthera'' native to the Americas. With a body length of up to and a weight of up to , it is the largest cat species in the Americas and the th ...

gets stolen and then wrecked, he has a run-in with a crazy bus driver (

Anthony Michael Hall Michael Anthony Hall (born April 14, 1968), known professionally as Anthony Michael Hall, is an American actor best known for his leading role as Johnny Smith in '' The Dead Zone'' from 2002 to 2007. He also rose to fame starring in films with ...

), he is held hostage, he is pursued by a school janitor (Paulo Tocha) who accuses him of drawing

graffiti Graffiti (plural; singular ''graffiti'' or ''graffito'', the latter rarely used except in archeology) is art that is written, painted or drawn on a wall or other surface, usually without permission and within public view. Graffiti ranges from s ...

, an odd pair of

Hispanic The term ''Hispanic'' ( es, hispano) refers to people, Spanish culture, cultures, or countries related to Spain, the Spanish language, or Hispanidad. The term commonly applies to countries with a cultural and historical link to Spain and to Vic ...

siblings (Christine Deaver and Mike Moroff) who thinks he looks like

David Hasselhoff David Michael Hasselhoff (born July 17, 1952), nicknamed "The Hoff", is an American actor, singer, and television personality. He has set a Guinness World Record as the most watched man on TV. Hasselhoff first gained recognition on ''The You ...

, Brooke's dog, Brooke's jealous boyfriend Kyle (

Eric Balfour Eric Salter Balfour (born April 24, 1977) is an American actor and singer. He is the lead singer of Born as Ghosts, formerly known as Fredalba. He made his film debut in the drama ''Shattered Image'' (1998), followed by roles in ''What Women Want' ...

), and a homeless man (

David Patrick Kelly David Patrick Kelly (born January 23, 1951) is an American actor, musician and lyricist who has appeared in numerous films and television series. He is best known for his role as the main antagonist, Luther, in the cult film '' The Warriors'' (19 ...

) who wants two dollars from him (and has secretly stolen his wallet), and he is arrested. After all of this and finally receiving a condom from a police officer (

Lee Majors Lee Majors (born Harvey Lee Yeary; April 23, 1939) is an American actor. Majors portrayed the characters of Heath Barkley in the American television Western series ''The Big Valley'' (1965–1969), Colonel Steve Austin in the American television ...

, who played Steve Austin in the 1970s TV series ''

The Six Million Dollar Man ''The Six Million Dollar Man'' is an American science fiction and action television series, running from 1973 to 1978, about a former astronaut, USAF Colonel Steve Austin, portrayed by Lee Majors. After a NASA test flight accident, Austin is reb ...

''; Major's policeman-character here is named "Officer Austin" as a nod to Majors' previous well-known role) who releases him, he realizes that the perfect girl has been there for him all along: his best friend Leah (

), who has had feelings for him for a long time unbeknownst to Brad. Finally, Brad realizes his own feelings for Leah while also discovering Brooke is not as great as he thought she was, after he finds out that she only wants a

one night stand A one-night stand or one-night sex is a single sexual encounter in which there is an expectation that there shall be no further relations between the sexual participants. It draws its name from the common practice of a one-night stand, a single ...

with him instead of a relationship. Brad runs out to find Leah and professes his feelings to her, and they kiss each other by moonlight. After the end credits, Brad's parents are shocked by the sight of what is left of their car after the

tow truck A tow truck (also called a wrecker, a breakdown truck, recovery vehicle or a breakdown lorry) is a truck used to move disabled, improperly parked, impounded, or otherwise indisposed motor vehicles. This may involve recovering a vehicle damaged ...

driver brings it back.

Cast

as Brad Kimble *

as Leah Jones *

as Brooke Kingsley *

Danny Masterson Daniel Peter Masterson (born March 13, 1976) Most sources give birth date March 13, 1976. FilmReference.com gives March 3, 1976. is an American actor. He played the roles of Steven Hyde in '' That '70s Show'' (1998–2006), Milo Foster in ''Men ...

as Seth *

Jason Marsden Jason Christopher Marsden (born January 3, 1975) is an American actor, director, producer and YouTuber, who has done numerous voice roles in animated films, as well as various television series and video games. He has been the official voice of ...

as Josh *

as Kyle *

as Officer Austin *

John Finn John Joseph Finn (born September 30, 1952) is an American character actor known as one of the leads of the television programs ''Cold Case'' and ''EZ Streets''. Finn has also had supporting roles in the films '' The Hunted'' (2003), '' Analyze T ...

as Ben Kimble *

Wendie Malick Wendie Malick (born December 13, 1950) is an American actress and former fashion model, known for her roles in various television comedies. She starred as Judith Tupper Stone in the HBO sitcom '' Dream On'', and as Nina Van Horn in the NBC sitc ...

as Beverly Kimble *

Jennie Kwan Jennie Kwan is an American television, film, and voice actress. She played Samantha "Sam" Woo on ''California Dreams'', Satoko Hojo in '' Higurashi When They Cry'', and voiced Suki, a character on ''Avatar: The Last Airbender''. Career Kwan beg ...

as Trish * Charlotte Lopez as Nina * Christine Deaver as Latin Mama * Mike Moroff as Big Brother * lobo Sebastian as Lead Homeboy * Joe Cerrano as Biggest Homeboy * Julian Cegario as Homeboy * Paulo Tocha as Janitor *

as Bus Driver *

as Bagman *

Danny Trejo Danny Trejo ( ; born May 16, 1944) is an American actor. He has appeared in films including ''Desperado'', ''Heat'', and the ''From Dusk Till Dawn'' film series. With frequent collaborator and his second cousin Robert Rodriguez, he portrayed ...

as Scarface

Production

Prior to the film's release, it was noted that there were similarities with its condom plot to another film in development, ''

Booty Call ''Booty Call'' is a 1997 American buddy comedy film, written by J. Stanford Parker (credited as Bootsie) and Takashi Bufford, and directed by Jeff Pollack. The film stars Jamie Foxx, Tommy Davidson, Vivica A. Fox, and Tamala Jones. Plot Rushon ...

'', which featured an all-black cast and which would also be released in 1997. ''Booty Call'' was written without knowledge of ''Trojan Wars existence.

Music

Songs featured in the motion picture: * "I'll Fall With Your Knife" - Performed by Peter Murphy * "Disappear" - Performed by

Letters To Cleo Letters to Cleo is an American alternative rock band originating from Boston, Massachusetts, best known for the 1994 single, "Here & Now", from their full-length debut album, '' Aurora Gory Alice''. The band's members are Kay Hanley, Greg McKe ...

* "You Are Here" - Performed by Star 69 * "All Five Senses" - Performed by Pomegranate * "The Word Behind Words" - Performed by Jeremy Toback * "The Love You Save" - Performed by

Madder Rose ''Rubia'' is the type genus of the Rubiaceae family of flowering plants, which also contains coffee. It contains around 80 species of perennial scrambling or climbing herbs and subshrubs native to the Old World. The genus and its best-known sp ...

* "Snakebellies" - Performed by

Fu Manchu Dr. Fu Manchu () is a supervillain who was introduced in a series of novels by the English author Sax Rohmer beginning shortly before World War I and continuing for another forty years. The character featured in cinema, television, radio, comic ...

* "The Boys Are Back In Town" - Performed by

The Cardigans The Cardigans is a Swedish rock band formed in Jönköping, Sweden, in 1992 by guitarist Peter Svensson, bassist Magnus Sveningsson, drummer Bengt Lagerberg, keyboardist Lars-Olof Johansson and lead singer Nina Persson. Post-hiatus shows since 2 ...

* "I Hope I Don't Fall In Love With You" - Performed by

* "You're One" - Performed by

Imperial Teen Imperial Teen is a San Francisco–based indie pop group made up of Roddy Bottum (Faith No More), primarily on guitar/vocals; Will Schwartz (also of Hey Willpower), primarily on guitar/vocals; Lynn Truell (née Perko, formerly of Sister Doub ...

* "I Have A Date" - Performed by

The Vandals The Vandals are an American punk rock band, established in 1980 in Orange County, California. They have released ten full-length studio albums, two live albums, and have toured the world extensively, including performances on the Vans Warped ...

* "Underdog" - Performed by astroPuppees * "Next To You" - Performed by

Dance Hall Crashers Dance Hall Crashers (often abbreviated to DHC) was an American ska punk band formed in 1989 in Berkeley, California. Initially founded by former Operation Ivy members Tim Armstrong and Matt Freeman, the band has had a fluid lineup over its care ...

* "Yo Soy El Son Cubano" - Performed by Parmenio Salazar * "Mistreated" - Performed by Shufflepuck * "Don't Be" - Performed by astroPuppees * "Disco Inferno" - Performed by

The Trammps The Trammps are an American disco and soul band, who were based in Philadelphia and were one of the first disco bands. The band's first major success was their 1972 cover version of "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart", while the first disco tr ...

* "

American Girl American Girl is an American line of dolls released on May 5, 1986, by Pleasant Company. The dolls portray eight- to fourteen-year-old boys and girls of a variety of ethnicities, faiths, and social classes from different time periods throughou ...

" - Performed by Everclear * "American City World" - Performed by

Triple Fast Action Triple Fast Action (sometimes stylized as tripl3fastaction) was an indie rock/alternative rock band started by Wes Kidd and Brian St. Clair, both previous members of Chicago band Rights of the Accused, in 1995. Kidd went on to manage such bands a ...

* "What a Bore" - Performed by Muzzle * "Boom, Boom, Boom" - Performed by Juster * "I Believe In" - Performed by Jennifer Love Hewitt * "I'll Fall With Your Knife" - Performed by Tom Hiel * "Trouble" - Performed by

Shampoo Shampoo () is a hair care product, typically in the form of a viscous liquid, that is used for cleaning hair. Less commonly, shampoo is available in solid bar format. Shampoo is used by applying it to wet hair, massaging the product into the ...

* "I've Got a Flair" - Performed by

Fountains of Wayne Fountains of Wayne was an American rock band that formed in New York City in 1995. The band included founding members Chris Collingwood, Adam Schlesinger, Jody Porter, and Brian Young. They released five albums from 1996 to 2011 before effec ...

* "Can't Hold Me Down" - Performed by Schleprock * "The Burning" - Performed by Teta Vega

Box office

The film was released in only a single movie theatre and was pulled after only one week. It earned a total of $309 against a production budget of $15 million. As of 2007 it was the fifth lowest grossing film since modern record keeping began in the 1980s. Dade Hayes of ''

Variety magazine ''Variety'' is an American media company owned by Penske Media Corporation. The company was founded by Sime Silverman in New York City in 1905 as a weekly newspaper reporting on theater and vaudeville. In 1933 it added ''Daily Variety'', based ...

'' explained that a single theater release is more about fulfilling contractual obligations than anything to do with audience reaction to the film.

Reception

Nathan Rabin of The Onion's ''

The A.V. Club ''The A.V. Club'' is an American online newspaper and entertainment website featuring reviews, interviews, and other articles that examine films, music, television, books, games, and other elements of pop-culture media. ''The A.V. Club'' was cre ...

'' wrote: "It may be formulaic, predictable and as substantial as a

Little Debbie McKee Foods Corporation is a privately held and family-owned American snack food and granola manufacturer headquartered in Collegedale, Tennessee. The corporation is the maker of Drake's Cakes, Fieldstone Bakery snacks and cereal, Little Debbie ...

snack cake, but as a loving, inane throwback to the golden age of the

Brat Pack The ''Brat Pack'' is a nickname given to a group of young actors who frequently appeared together in teen-oriented coming-of-age films in the 1980s. First mentioned in a 1985 ''New York'' magazine article, it is now usually defined as the cast ...

and

the two Coreys The Two Coreys (also known as The Coreys) refer to American actor Corey Feldman (born 1971) and Canadian actor Corey Haim (1971–2010), who were often paired. Feldman and Haim were child actors during the 1980s; the two were close friends. Both ...

, it's irresistible." Charles Tatum of efilmcritic wrote: "Sometimes, a movie comes along that makes you want to sob, and not in the good way."

References

External links

* * * {{rotten-tomatoes, trojan_war 1997 films 1990s teen comedy films 1997 romantic comedy films Films directed by George Huang Films scored by George S. Clinton Warner Bros. films 1990s English-language films