![Company-Shocked-Gillray](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f5/Company-Shocked-Gillray.jpeg)
Etiquette () is the set of norms of personal behaviour in
polite society, usually occurring in the form of an
ethical code
Ethical codes are adopted by organizations to assist members in understanding the difference between right and wrong and in applying that understanding to their decisions. An ethical code generally implies documents at three levels: codes of b ...
of the expected and accepted
social behaviour
Social behavior is behavior among two or more organisms within the same species, and encompasses any behavior in which one member affects the other. This is due to an interaction among those members. Social behavior can be seen as similar to a ...
s that accord with the
conventions and
norms observed and practised by a
society
A society is a group of individuals involved in persistent social interaction, or a large social group sharing the same spatial or social territory, typically subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations. Soci ...
, a
social class, or a
social group
In the social sciences, a social group can be defined as two or more people who interact with one another, share similar characteristics, and collectively have a sense of unity. Regardless, social groups come in a myriad of sizes and varieties ...
. In modern English usage, the French word ' (label and tag) dates from the year 1750.
History
![Zuidgevel Corps de logis rond 1675 Anonieme schilder](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Zuidgevel_Corps_de_logis_rond_1675_Anonieme_schilder.jpg)
In the third millennium BCE, the Ancient Egyptian vizier
Ptahhotep
Ptahhotep ( egy, ptḥ ḥtp "Peace of Ptah"), sometimes known as Ptahhotep I or Ptahhotpe, was an ancient Egyptian vizier during the late 25th century BC and early 24th century BC Fifth Dynasty of Egypt.
Life
Ptahhotep was the city administ ...
wrote ''
The Maxims of Ptahhotep
''The Maxims of Ptahhotep'' or ''Instruction of Ptahhotep'' is an ancient Egyptian literary composition composed by the Vizier Ptahhotep around 2375–2350 BC, during the rule of King Djedkare Isesi of the Fifth Dynasty. The text was discovered ...
'' (2375–2350 BC), a didactic book of precepts extolling civil virtues, such as truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards other people. Recurrent thematic motifs in the maxims include learning by listening to other people, being mindful of the imperfection of human knowledge, and that avoiding open conflict, whenever possible, should not be considered weakness. That the pursuit of
justice
Justice, in its broadest sense, is the principle that people receive that which they deserve, with the interpretation of what then constitutes "deserving" being impacted upon by numerous fields, with many differing viewpoints and perspective ...
should be foremost, yet acknowledged that, in human affairs, the command of a god ultimately prevails in all matters; thus some of Ptahhotep's maxims indicate a person's correct behaviours in the presence of great personages (political, military, religious). Instructions on how to choose the right master and how to serve him. Moreover, other maxims teach the correct way to be a leader through openness and kindness, and that greed is the base of all evil, and should be guarded against, and that generosity towards family and friends is praiseworthy.
Confucius
Confucius ( ; zh, s=, p=Kǒng Fūzǐ, "Master Kǒng"; or commonly zh, s=, p=Kǒngzǐ, labels=no; – ) was a Chinese philosopher and politician of the Spring and Autumn period who is traditionally considered the paragon of Chinese sages. C ...
(551–479 BC) was the Chinese intellectual and philosopher whose works emphasized personal and governmental
morality
Morality () is the differentiation of intentions, decisions and actions between those that are distinguished as proper (right) and those that are improper (wrong). Morality can be a body of standards or principles derived from a code of co ...
, correctness of social relationships, the pursuit of justice in personal dealings, and sincerity in all personal relations.
Baldassare Castiglione
Baldassare Castiglione, Count of Casatico (; 6 December 1478 – 2 February 1529),Dates of birth and death, and cause of the latter, fro, ''Italica'', Rai International online. was an Italian courtier, diplomat, soldier and a prominent Renaissanc ...
(1478–1529), count of Casatico, was an Italian courtier and
diplomat, soldier, and author of ''
The Book of the Courtier
''The Book of the Courtier'' ( it, Il Cortegiano ) by Baldassare Castiglione is a lengthy philosophical dialogue on the topic of what constitutes an ideal courtier or (in the third chapter) court lady, worthy to befriend and advise a Prince or pol ...
'' (1528), an exemplar
courtesy book A courtesy book (also book of manners) was a didactic manual of knowledge for courtiers to handle matters of etiquette, socially acceptable behaviour, and personal morals, with an especial emphasis upon life in a royal court; the genre of courtesy ...
dealing with questions of the etiquette and morality of the courtier during the
Italian Renaissance
The Italian Renaissance ( it, Rinascimento ) was a period in Italian history covering the 15th and 16th centuries. The period is known for the initial development of the broader Renaissance culture that spread across Europe and marked the trans ...
.
Louis XIV
, house = Bourbon
, father = Louis XIII
, mother = Anne of Austria
, birth_date =
, birth_place = Château de Saint-Germain-en-Laye, Saint-Germain-en-Laye, France
, death_date =
, death_place = Palace of Ver ...
(1638–1715), King of France, used a codified etiquette to tame the French
nobility
Nobility is a social class found in many societies that have an aristocracy. It is normally ranked immediately below royalty. Nobility has often been an estate of the realm with many exclusive functions and characteristics. The character ...
and assert his supremacy as the
absolute monarch
Absolute monarchy (or Absolutism as a doctrine) is a form of monarchy in which the monarch rules in their own right or power. In an absolute monarchy, the king or queen is by no means limited and has absolute power, though a limited constituti ...
of France. In consequence, the ceremonious royal court favourably impressed foreign dignitaries whom the king received at the seat of French government, the
Palace of Versailles, to the south-west of Paris.
Politeness
In the 18th century, during the
Age of Enlightenment
The Age of Enlightenment or the Enlightenment; german: Aufklärung, "Enlightenment"; it, L'Illuminismo, "Enlightenment"; pl, Oświecenie, "Enlightenment"; pt, Iluminismo, "Enlightenment"; es, La Ilustración, "Enlightenment" was an intel ...
, the adoption of etiquette was a self-conscious process for acquiring the conventions of politeness and the normative behaviours (charm, manners, demeanour) which symbolically identified the person as a genteel member of the upper class. To identify with the social élite, the upwardly mobile
middle class
The middle class refers to a class of people in the middle of a social hierarchy, often defined by occupation, income, education, or social status. The term has historically been associated with modernity, capitalism and political debate. Com ...
and the
bourgeoisie adopted the behaviours and the artistic preferences of the
upper class
Upper class in modern societies is the social class composed of people who hold the highest social status, usually are the wealthiest members of class society, and wield the greatest political power. According to this view, the upper class is gen ...
. To that end, socially ambitious people of the middle classes occupied themselves with learning, knowing, and practising the rules of social etiquette, such as the arts of elegant dress and gracious conversation, when to show
emotion
Emotions are mental states brought on by neurophysiology, neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioral responses, and a degree of pleasure or suffering, displeasure. There is currently no scientific ...
, and courtesy with and towards women.
In the early 18th century,
Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury
Anthony Ashley Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury (26 February 1671 – 16 February 1713) was an English politician, philosopher, and writer.
Early life
He was born at Exeter House in London, the son of the future Anthony Ashley Cooper, 2nd E ...
, wrote influential essays that defined ''politeness'' as the art of being pleasing in company; and discussed the function and nature of politeness in the social discourse of a commercial society:
Periodicals, such as ''
The Spectator
''The Spectator'' is a weekly British magazine on politics, culture, and current affairs. It was first published in July 1828, making it the oldest surviving weekly magazine in the world.
It is owned by Frederick Barclay, who also owns ''The ...
'', a daily publication founded in 1711 by
Joseph Addison
Joseph Addison (1 May 1672 – 17 June 1719) was an English essayist, poet, playwright and politician. He was the eldest son of The Reverend Lancelot Addison. His name is usually remembered alongside that of his long-standing friend Richar ...
and
Richard Steele
Sir Richard Steele (bap. 12 March 1672 – 1 September 1729) was an Anglo-Irish writer, playwright, and politician, remembered as co-founder, with his friend Joseph Addison, of the magazine ''The Spectator''.
Early life
Steele was born in D ...
, regularly advised their readers on the etiquette required of a
gentleman, a man of good and courteous conduct; their stated editorial goal was "to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality … to bring philosophy out of the closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables and coffeehouses"; to which end, the editors published articles written by educated authors, which provided topics for civil conversation, and advice on the requisite manners for carrying a polite conversation, and for managing social interactions.
Conceptually allied to etiquette is the notion of ''civility'' (social interaction characterised by sober and reasoned debate) which for socially ambitious men and women also became an important personal quality to possess for social advancement. In the event,
gentlemen's clubs, such as Harrington's Rota Club, published an in-house etiquette that codified the
civility expected of the members. Besides ''The Spectator'', other periodicals sought to infuse politeness into English coffeehouse conversation, the editors of ''
The Tatler
''Tatler'' is a British magazine published by Condé Nast Publications focusing on fashion and lifestyle, as well as coverage of high society and politics. It is targeted towards the British upper-middle class and upper class, and those interes ...
'' were explicit that their purpose was the reformation of English manners and morals; to those ends, etiquette was presented as the virtue of morality and a code of behaviour.
[Mackie, 1998. p. 1.]
In the mid-18th century, the first, modern English usage of ''etiquette'' (the conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society) was by
Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield
Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, (22 September 169424 March 1773) was a British statesman, diplomat, and man of letters, and an acclaimed wit of his time.
Early life
He was born in London to Philip Stanhope, 3rd Earl of Ches ...
, in the book ''Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman'' (1774), a correspondence of more than 400 letters written from 1737 until the death of his son, in 1768; most of the letters were instructive, concerning varied subjects that a worldly gentleman should know. The letters were first published in 1774, by
Eugenia Stanhope
Philip Stanhope (2 May 1732 – 16 November 1768) was the illegitimate son of Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, to whom the famous ''Letters to His Son'' were addressed. His mother was a French governess, Madelina Elizabeth du Bouchet.
...
, the widow of the diplomat
Philip Stanhope Philip Stanhope may refer to:
* Philip Stanhope (Royalist officer) (died 1645), English Civil War Royalist colonel
* Philip Stanhope, 1st Earl of Chesterfield (1584–1656), English peer
* Philip Stanhope, 2nd Earl of Chesterfield (1634–1 ...
, Chesterfield's bastard son. Throughout the correspondence, Chesterfield endeavoured to decouple the matter of social manners from
conventional morality
Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development constitute an adaptation of a psychological theory originally conceived by the Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget. Kohlberg began work on this topic as a psychology graduate student at the University of ...
, with perceptive observations that pragmatically argue to Philip that mastery of etiquette was an important means for social advancement, for a man such as he. Chesterfield's elegant, literary style of writing epitomised the emotional restraint characteristic of polite social intercourse in 18th-century society:
In the 19th century,
Victorian era
In the history of the United Kingdom and the British Empire, the Victorian era was the period of Queen Victoria's reign, from 20 June 1837 until her death on 22 January 1901. The era followed the Georgian period and preceded the Edwardia ...
(1837–1901) etiquette had developed into a complicated system of codified behaviours, which governed the range of manners in society—from the proper language, style, and method for writing letters, to correctly using
cutlery at table, and to the minute regulation of social relations and personal interactions between men and women and among the social classes.
Manners
Sociological perspectives
In a society, manners are described as either good manners or as bad manners to indicate to a person whether or not his or her behaviour is acceptable to the cultural group. As such, manners enable ''ultrasociality'' and are integral to the functioning of the
social norms
Social norms are shared standards of acceptable behavior by groups. Social norms can both be informal understandings that govern the behavior of members of a society, as well as be codified into rules and laws. Social normative influences or soci ...
and
conventions that are informally enforced through personal self-regulation in public life and in private life. The perspectives of sociology indicate that manners are a means for people to display their social status, and a means of demarcating, observing, and maintaining the boundaries of
social identity and of
social class.
In ''
The Civilizing Process
''The Civilizing Process'' is a book by German sociologist Norbert Elias. It is an influential work in sociology and Elias' most important work. It was first published in Basel, Switzerland in two volumes in 1939 in German as ''Über den Prozeß ...
'' (1939), the sociologist
Norbert Elias
Norbert Elias (; 22 June 1897 – 1 August 1990) was a German sociologist who later became a British citizen. He is especially famous for his theory of civilizing/decivilizing processes.
Biography
Elias was born on 22 June 1897 in Bresla ...
said that manners arose as a product of group living, and persist as a way of maintaining social order. That manners proliferated during the
Renaissance
The Renaissance ( , ) , from , with the same meanings. is a period in European history
The history of Europe is traditionally divided into four time periods: prehistoric Europe (prior to about 800 BC), classical antiquity (800 BC to AD ...
in response to the development of the ‘absolute state’—the progression from small-group living to large-group living characterised by the centralized power of the State. That the rituals and manners associated with the royal court of England during that period were closely bound to a person's
social status. That manners demonstrate a person's position within a social network, and that a person's manners are a means of negotiation from that social position.
From the perspective of
public health
Public health is "the science and art of preventing disease, prolonging life and promoting health through the organized efforts and informed choices of society, organizations, public and private, communities and individuals". Analyzing the det ...
, in ''The Healthy Citizen'' (1996), Alana R. Petersen and Deborah Lupton said that manners assisted the diminishment of the social boundaries that existed between the
public sphere
The public sphere (german: Öffentlichkeit) is an area in social life where individuals can come together to freely discuss and identify societal problems, and through that discussion influence political action. A "Public" is "of or concerning the ...
and the
private sphere The private sphere is the complement or opposite to the public sphere. The private sphere is a certain sector of societal life in which an individual enjoys a degree of authority, unhampered by interventions from governmental or other institutions. ...
of a person's life, and so gave rise to “a highly reflective self, a self who monitors his or her behavior with due regard for others with whom he or she interacts, socially”; and that “the public behavior of individuals came to signify their social standing; a means of presenting the self and of evaluating others, and thus the control of the outward self was vital.”
Moreover, the sociologist
Pierre Bourdieu
Pierre Bourdieu (; 1 August 1930 – 23 January 2002) was a French sociologist and public intellectual. Bourdieu's contributions to the sociology of education, the theory of sociology, and sociology of aesthetics have achieved wide influence ...
applied the concept of ''
habitus'' to define the societal functions of manners. The ''habitus'' is the set of mental attitudes, personal habits, and skills that a person possesses, his and her ''dispositions'' of character that are neither self-determined, nor pre-determined by the external environment, but which are produced and reproduced by social interactions; and are “inculcated through experience and explicit teaching”—yet tend to function at the
subconscious
In psychology, the subconscious is the part of the mind that is not currently of focal awareness.
Scholarly use of the term
The word ''subconscious'' represents an anglicized version of the French ''subconscient'' as coined in 1889 by the psycho ...
level. Therefore, manners are likely to be a central part of the ''dispositions'' that guide a person’s ability to decide upon socially-compliant behaviours.
Anthropologic perspective
In ''Purity and Danger: An Analysis of Concepts of Pollution and Taboo'' (2003) the anthropologist
Mary Douglas said that the unique manners, social behaviors, and group rituals enable the local
cosmology
Cosmology () is a branch of physics and metaphysics dealing with the nature of the universe. The term ''cosmology'' was first used in English in 1656 in Thomas Blount's ''Glossographia'', and in 1731 taken up in Latin by German philosopher ...
to remain ordered and free from those things that may pollute or defile the integrity of the culture. That ideas of pollution, defilement, and disgust are attached to the margins of socially acceptable behaviour in order to curtail unacceptable behaviour, and so maintain “the assumptions by which experience is controlled” within the culture.
Evolutionary perspectives
In studying the expression of emotion by humans and animals, the naturalist
Charles Darwin
Charles Robert Darwin ( ; 12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist, geologist, and biologist, widely known for his contributions to evolutionary biology. His proposition that all species of life have descended ...
noted the universality of facial expressions of
disgust
Disgust (Middle French: ''desgouster'', from Latin ''gustus'', "taste") is an emotional response of rejection or revulsion to something potentially contagious or something considered offensive, distasteful, or unpleasant. In ''The Expression o ...
and
shame
Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion often associated with negative self-evaluation; motivation to quit; and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.
Definition
Shame is a discrete, basic emotion, d ...
among infants and blind people, and concluded that the emotional responses of shame and disgust are innate behaviours. The public health specialist
Valerie Curtis said that the development of facial responses was concomitant with the development of manners, which are behaviours with an
evolutionary
Evolution is change in the heritable characteristics of biological populations over successive generations. These characteristics are the expressions of genes, which are passed on from parent to offspring during reproduction. Variation ...
role in preventing the
transmission of diseases, thus, people who practise
personal hygiene
Hygiene is a series of practices performed to preserve health.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), "Hygiene refers to conditions and practices that help to maintain health and prevent the spread of diseases." Personal hygiene refer ...
and
politeness
Politeness is the practical application of good manners or etiquette so as not to offend others. It is a culturally defined phenomenon, and therefore what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or simply eccentric in an ...
will most benefit from membership in their social group, and so stand the best chance of biological survival, by way of opportunities for
reproduction.
From the study of the evolutionary bases of
prejudice
Prejudice can be an affective feeling towards a person based on their perceived group membership. The word is often used to refer to a preconceived (usually unfavourable) evaluation or classification of another person based on that person's per ...
, the social psychologists Catherine Cottrell and
Steven Neuberg said that human behavioural responses to ‘
otherness’ might enable the preservation of manners and
social norms
Social norms are shared standards of acceptable behavior by groups. Social norms can both be informal understandings that govern the behavior of members of a society, as well as be codified into rules and laws. Social normative influences or soci ...
.
[Neuberg SL., Cottrell CA]
"Evolutionary Bases of Prejudices"
in ''Evolution and Social Psychology'', Schaller M. et al., Eds., New York, Psychology Press, 2006. That the feeling of "foreignness"—which people experience in their first social interaction with someone from another culture—might partly serve an
evolution
Evolution is change in the heritable characteristics of biological populations over successive generations. These characteristics are the expressions of genes, which are passed on from parent to offspring during reproduction. Variation ...
ary function: 'Group living surrounds one with individuals
ho are
Ho (or the transliterations He or Heo) may refer to:
People Language and ethnicity
* Ho people, an ethnic group of India
** Ho language, a tribal language in India
* Hani people, or Ho people, an ethnic group in China, Laos and Vietnam
* Hiri M ...
able to physically harm fellow group members, to spread contagious disease, or to "free ride" on their efforts'; therefore, a commitment to
sociality is a risk: 'If threats, such as these, are left unchecked, the costs of sociality will quickly exceed its benefits. Thus, to maximize the returns on group "living", individual group members should be attuned to others’ features or behaviors.'
Therefore, people who possess the social traits common to the cultural group are to be trusted, and people without the common social traits are to be distrusted as ‘others’, and thus treated with suspicion or excluded from the group. That pressure of social exclusivity, born from the shift towards
communal living
An intentional community is a voluntary residential community which is designed to have a high degree of social cohesion and teamwork from the start. The members of an intentional community typically hold a common social, political, religious, ...
, excluded uncooperative people and persons with poor personal hygiene. The threat of social exclusion led people to avoid personal behaviours that might embarrass the group or that might provoke revulsion among the group.
[Curtis V]
"Don’t Look, Don't Touch – The Science Behind Revulsion"
Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2013
To demonstrate the transmission of
social conformity, the anthropologists
Joseph Henrich
Joseph Henrich (born 1968) is an American professor of human evolutionary biology at Harvard University. Prior to arriving at Harvard, Henrich was a professor of psychology and economics at the University of British Columbia. He is interested i ...
and
Robert Boyd developed a behavioural model indicating that manners are a means of mitigating social differences, curbing undesirable personal behaviours, and fostering co-operation within the social group. That
natural selection
Natural selection is the differential survival and reproduction of individuals due to differences in phenotype. It is a key mechanism of evolution, the change in the heritable traits characteristic of a population over generations. Cha ...
has favoured the acquisition of genetically-transmitted mechanisms for learning, thereby increasing a person's chances for acquiring locally adaptive behaviours: “Humans possess a reliably developing neural encoding that compels them both to punish individuals who violate group norms (common beliefs or practices) and
opunish individuals who do not punish norm-violators.”
Categories
Social manners are in three categories: (i) manners of
hygiene
Hygiene is a series of practices performed to preserve health.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), "Hygiene refers to conditions and practices that help to maintain health and prevent the spread of diseases." Personal hygiene refer ...
, (ii) manners of
courtesy
Courtesy (from the word ''courteis'', from the 12th century) is gentle politeness and courtly manners. In the Middle Ages in Europe, the behaviour expected of the nobility was compiled in courtesy books.
History
The apex of European courtly c ...
, and (iii) manners of
cultural norm
Social norms are shared standards of acceptable behavior by groups. Social norms can both be informal understandings that govern the behavior of members of a society, as well as be codified into rules and laws. Social normative influences or soci ...
, each category accounts for an aspect of the functional role that manners play in a society. The categories of manners are based upon the social outcome of behaviour, rather than upon the personal motivation of the behaviour. As a means of social management, the rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of human social interaction; thus, a rule of etiquette reflects an underlying
ethical code
Ethical codes are adopted by organizations to assist members in understanding the difference between right and wrong and in applying that understanding to their decisions. An ethical code generally implies documents at three levels: codes of b ...
, and can reflect a person's
fashion
Fashion is a form of self-expression and autonomy at a particular period and place and in a specific context, of clothing, footwear, lifestyle, accessories, makeup, hairstyle, and body posture. The term implies a look defined by the fashion i ...
and
social status.
(i) Manners of hygiene concern avoiding the
transmission of disease, and usually are taught by the parent to the child by way of parental discipline, positive behavioural enforcement of body-fluid continence (toilet training), and the avoidance of and removal of
disease vectors that risk the health of children. To that effect, society expects that, by adulthood, the manners for personal hygiene have become a second-nature behaviour, the violations of which shall provoke physical and moral
disgust
Disgust (Middle French: ''desgouster'', from Latin ''gustus'', "taste") is an emotional response of rejection or revulsion to something potentially contagious or something considered offensive, distasteful, or unpleasant. In ''The Expression o ...
. Hygiene etiquette during the
COVID-19 pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The novel virus was first identi ...
has included
social distancing
In public health, social distancing, also called physical distancing, (NB. Regula Venske is president of the PEN Centre Germany.) is a set of non-pharmaceutical interventions or measures intended to prevent the spread of a contagious dis ...
and warnings against public
spitting
Spitting is the act of forcibly ejecting saliva or other substances from the mouth. The act is often done to get rid of unwanted or foul-tasting substances in the mouth, or to get rid of a large buildup of mucus. Spitting of small saliva dr ...
.
(ii) Manners of courtesy concern self-control and good-faith behaviour, by which a person gives priority to the interests of another person, and priority to the interests of a socio-cultural group, in order to be a trusted member of that group. Courtesy manners maximize the benefits of group-living by regulating the nature of social interactions; however, the performance of courtesy manners occasionally interferes with the avoidance of communicable disease. Generally, parents teach courtesy manners in the same way they teach hygiene manners, but the child also learns manners directly (by observing the behaviour of other people in their social interactions) and by imagined social interactions (through the
executive functions
In cognitive science and neuropsychology, executive functions (collectively referred to as executive function and cognitive control) are a set of cognitive processes that are necessary for the cognitive control of behavior: selecting and suc ...
of the brain). A child usually learns courtesy manners at an older age than when he or she was toilet trained (taught hygiene manners), because learning the manners of courtesy requires that the child be
self-aware
In philosophy of self, self-awareness is the experience of one's own personality or individuality. It is not to be confused with consciousness in the sense of qualia. While consciousness is being aware of one's environment and body and lifest ...
and conscious of
social position, which then facilitate understanding that violations (accidental or deliberate) of social courtesy will provoke peer disapproval within the social group.
(iii) Manners of cultural norms concern the social rules by which a person establishes his and her
identity and membership to a given socio-cultural group. In abiding the manners of cultural norm, a person demarcates socio-cultural identity and establishes social boundaries, which then identify whom to trust and whom to distrust as 'the other', who is not the self. Cultural norm manners are learnt through the enculturation with and the routinisation of ‘the familiar’, and through social exposure to the ‘
cultural otherness’ of people identified as foreign to the group. Transgressions and flouting of the manners of cultural norm usually result in the
social alienation of the transgressor. The nature of culture-norm manners allows a high level of intra-group variability, but the manners usually are common to the people who identify with the given socio-cultural group.
Courtesy books
; 16th century
''
The Book of the Courtier
''The Book of the Courtier'' ( it, Il Cortegiano ) by Baldassare Castiglione is a lengthy philosophical dialogue on the topic of what constitutes an ideal courtier or (in the third chapter) court lady, worthy to befriend and advise a Prince or pol ...
'' (1528), by
Baldassare Castiglione
Baldassare Castiglione, Count of Casatico (; 6 December 1478 – 2 February 1529),Dates of birth and death, and cause of the latter, fro, ''Italica'', Rai International online. was an Italian courtier, diplomat, soldier and a prominent Renaissanc ...
, identified the manners and the
morals
Morality () is the differentiation of intentions, decisions and actions between those that are distinguished as proper (right) and those that are improper (wrong). Morality can be a body of standards or principles derived from a code of cond ...
required by socially ambitious men and women for success in a
royal court
A royal court, often called simply a court when the royal context is clear, is an extended royal household in a monarchy, including all those who regularly attend on a monarch, or another central figure. Hence, the word "court" may also be appl ...
of the
Italian Renaissance
The Italian Renaissance ( it, Rinascimento ) was a period in Italian history covering the 15th and 16th centuries. The period is known for the initial development of the broader Renaissance culture that spread across Europe and marked the trans ...
(14th–17th c.); as an etiquette text, ''The Courtier'' was an influential
courtesy book A courtesy book (also book of manners) was a didactic manual of knowledge for courtiers to handle matters of etiquette, socially acceptable behaviour, and personal morals, with an especial emphasis upon life in a royal court; the genre of courtesy ...
in 16th-century Europe.
''
On Good Manners for Boys'' (1530), by
Erasmus of Rotterdam
Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus (; ; English: Erasmus of Rotterdam or Erasmus;''Erasmus'' was his baptismal name, given after St. Erasmus of Formiae. ''Desiderius'' was an adopted additional name, which he used from 1496. The ''Roterodamus'' w ...
, instructs boys in the means of becoming a young man; how to walk and talk, speak and act in the company of adults. The practical advice for acquiring adult self-awareness includes explanations of the symbolic meanings—for adults—of a boy's
body language
Body language is a type of communication in which physical behaviors, as opposed to words, are used to express or convey information. Such behavior includes facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. Th ...
when he is fidgeting and yawning, scratching and bickering. On completing Erasmus's curriculum of etiquette, the boy has learnt that
civility is the point of good manners; the adult ability to 'readily ignore the faults of others, but avoid falling short, yourself,' in being civilised.
; 20th century
''
Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home
''Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home'' (frequently referenced as ''Etiquette'') is a book authored by Emily Post in 1922. The book covers manners and other social rules, and has been updated frequently to reflect social c ...
'' (1922), by
Emily Post documents the "trivialities" of desirable conduct in daily life, and provided pragmatic approaches to the practice good manners; the social conduct expected and appropriate for the events of life, such as a
baptism
Baptism (from grc-x-koine, βάπτισμα, váptisma) is a form of ritual purification—a characteristic of many religions throughout time and geography. In Christianity, it is a Christian sacrament of initiation and adoption, almost ...
, a
wedding
A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vo ...
, and a
funeral.
As didactic texts, books of etiquette (the conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society) usually feature explanatory titles, such as ''The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness: A Complete Hand Book for the Use of the Lady in Polite Society'' (1860), by Florence Hartley; ''Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette'' (1957), by
Amy Vanderbilt
Amy Osborne Vanderbilt (July 22, 1908 – December 27, 1974) was an American authority on etiquette. In 1952 she published the best-selling book ''Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette''. The book, later retitled ''Amy Vanderbilt's Etiquet ...
; ''Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior'' (1979), by
Judith Martin
Judith Martin (née Perlman; born September 13, 1938), better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American columnist, author, and etiquette authority.
Early life and career
Martin is the daughter of Helen and Jacob Perlman. Her father w ...
; and ''Peas & Queues: The Minefield of Modern Manners'' (2013), by
Sandi Toksvig
Sandra Birgitte Toksvig (; ; born 3 May 1958) is a Danish-British writer, comedian and broadcaster on British radio, stage and television. She is also a political activist, having co-founded the Women's Equality Party in 2015. She has written ...
, present ranges of civility; socially acceptable behaviours for their respective times; yet each author cautions the reader, that to be a well-mannered person he and she must practise good manners in their
public
In public relations and communication science, publics are groups of individual people, and the public (a.k.a. the general public) is the totality of such groupings. This is a different concept to the sociological concept of the ''Öffentlichk ...
and
private lives. Moreover, the ''
How Rude!'' comic-book series addresses and discusses adolescent perspectives and questions of etiquette, social manners, and civility.
Business
In commerce, the purpose of etiquette is to facilitate the social relations necessary for realising the business transactions of buying and selling goods and services; in particular, the social interactions among the workers, and between labour and management. Business etiquette varies by culture, such as the Chinese and Australian approaches to conflict resolution. The Chinese business philosophy is based upon ''
guanxi
''Guanxi'' () is a term used in Chinese culture to describe an individual's social network of mutually beneficial personal and business relationships. The character ''guan'', 关, means “closed” while the character ''xi'' 系 means “system ...
'' (personal connections), whereby person-to-person negotiation resolves difficult matters, whereas Australian business philosophy relies upon attorneys-at-law to resolve business conflicts through legal mediation; thus, adjusting to the etiquette and professional
ethics
Ethics or moral philosophy is a branch of philosophy that "involves systematizing, defending, and recommending concepts of right and wrong behavior".''Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy'' The field of ethics, along with aesthetics, concer ...
of another culture is an element of
culture shock
Culture shock is an experience a person may have when one moves to a cultural environment which is different from one's own; it is also the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration ...
for businesspeople.
In 2011, etiquette trainers formed the Institute of Image Training and Testing International (IITTI) a non-profit organisation to train personnel departments in measuring and developing and teaching social skills to employees, by way of education in the rules of personal and business etiquette, in order to produce business workers who possess standardised manners for successfully conducting business with people from other cultures.
In the
retail
Retail is the sale of goods and services to consumers, in contrast to wholesaling, which is sale to business or institutional customers. A retailer purchases goods in large quantities from manufacturers, directly or through a wholesaler, and ...
branch of commerce, the saying: "The customer is always right." summarises the profit-orientation of good manners, between the buyer and the seller of goods and services:
See also
Etiquette and language
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Acrolect
A post-creole continuum (or simply creole continuum) is a dialect continuum of varieties of a creole language between those most and least similar to the superstrate language (that is, a closely related language whose speakers assert or asserted d ...
*
Aizuchi
In the Japanese language, aizuchi ( ja, 相槌, links=no or , ) are interjections during a conversation that indicate the listener is paying attention or understands the speaker. In linguistic terms, these are a form of phatic expression. Aizuch ...
*
Basilect
*
Honorific
An honorific is a title that conveys esteem, courtesy, or respect for position or rank when used in addressing or referring to a person. Sometimes, the term "honorific" is used in a more specific sense to refer to an honorary academic title. It ...
title
*
Honorifics (linguistics)
In linguistics, an honorific (abbreviated ) is a grammatical or morphosyntactic form that encodes the relative social status of the participants of the conversation. Distinct from honorific titles, linguistic honorifics convey formality , soci ...
- politeness markers
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Insult
*
Netiquette
Etiquette in technology, colloquially referred to as netiquette is a term used to refer to the unofficial code of policies that encourage good behavior on the Internet which is used to regulate respect and polite behavior on social media platforms ...
*
Polite fiction
A polite fiction is a social scenario in which all participants are aware of a truth, but pretend to believe in some alternative version of events to avoid conflict or embarrassment. Polite fictions are closely related to euphemism, in which a word ...
*
Prescription and description
Linguistic prescription, or prescriptive grammar, is the establishment of rules defining preferred usage of language. These rules may address such linguistic aspects as spelling, pronunciation, vocabulary, syntax, and semantics. Sometimes infor ...
*
Profanity
Profanity, also known as cursing, cussing, swearing, bad language, foul language, obscenities, expletives or vulgarism, is a socially offensive use of language. Accordingly, profanity is language use that is sometimes deemed impolite, rud ...
*
Semantics
Semantics (from grc, σημαντικός ''sēmantikós'', "significant") is the study of reference, meaning, or truth. The term can be used to refer to subfields of several distinct disciplines, including philosophy, linguistics and comp ...
*
Slang
Slang is vocabulary (words, phrases, and linguistic usages) of an informal register, common in spoken conversation but avoided in formal writing. It also sometimes refers to the language generally exclusive to the members of particular in-g ...
*
Slang dictionary
A slang dictionary is a reference book containing an alphabetical list of slang, which is vernacular vocabulary not generally acceptable in formal usage,
usually including information given for each word, including meaning, pronunciation, and ety ...
*
Standard language
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Style of address
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T–V distinction
The T–V distinction is the contextual use of different pronouns that exists in some languages and serves to convey formality or familiarity. Its name comes from the Latin pronouns '' tu'' and '' vos''. The distinction takes a number of forms ...
*
What happens on tour, stays on tour
"What happens on tour, stays on tour" is a phrase or saying agreed to by persons who get together and travel either domestically or overseas for sporting tours. In essence, the phrase means that all exploits during the tour must be kept strictly ...
Etiquette and letters
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Airmail etiquette
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Email etiquettes
Electronic mail (email or e-mail) is a method of exchanging messages ("mail") between people using electronic devices. Email was thus conceived as the electronic (digital) version of, or counterpart to, mail, at a time when "mail" meant ...
*
Missed call#Social usage
Etiquette and society
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Aliénor de Poitiers early documentor of French etiquette
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Code of conduct
A code of conduct is a set of rules outlining the norms, rules, and responsibilities or proper practices of an individual party or an organization.
Companies' codes of conduct
A company code of conduct is a set of rules which is commonly writt ...
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Church etiquette
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Cigar etiquette
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Cinema etiquette
Cinema etiquette is a set of social norms observed by patrons of a movie theater. There are a wide variety of distractions that could spoil other patrons' enjoyment of a film, such as cell phone usage, patrons talking to one another, the rustling ...
*
Civics
Civics is the study of the rights and obligations of citizens in society. The term derives from the Latin word ''civicus'', meaning "relating to a citizen". The term relates to behavior affecting other citizens, particularly in the context of ur ...
*
Concert etiquette
Concert etiquette refers to a set of social norms observed by those attending musical performances. These norms vary depending upon the type of music performance and can be stringent or informal.
Western classical music
At classical music conce ...
*
Dance etiquette
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Debrett's
Debrett's () is a British professional coaching company, publisher and authority on etiquette and behaviour, founded in 1769 with the publication of the first edition of ''The New Peerage''. The company takes its name from its founder, John De ...
*
Diplomacy
Diplomacy comprises spoken or written communication by representatives of states (such as leaders and diplomats) intended to influence events in the international system.Ronald Peter Barston, ''Modern diplomacy'', Pearson Education, 2006, p. ...
*
Disability etiquette
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Drinking etiquette
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Driving etiquette
Driving etiquette refers to the general courtesy rules communities expect drivers to follow. The term dates back to the early 1900s and the use of horse-drawn carriages.
Driving etiquette typically involves being courteous and staying alert, wh ...
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Escalator etiquette
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Faux pas
English words
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