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John Elias Villagran III (born March 1, 1994), known professionally as Lil Lotus (stylized as LiL Lotus) is an American musician, singer and rapper from
Dallas Dallas () is the List of municipalities in Texas, third largest city in Texas and the largest city in the Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex, the List of metropolitan statistical areas, fourth-largest metropolitan area in the United States at 7.5 ...
,
Texas Texas (, ; Spanish language, Spanish: ''Texas'', ''Tejas'') is a state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. At 268,596 square miles (695,662 km2), and with more than 29.1 million residents in 2 ...
. He has released one solo studio album, four solo EPs, three collaborative EPs and an additional two EPs as a part of the
alternative hip hop Alternative hip hop (also known as alternative rap) is a subgenre of hip hop music that encompasses a wide range of styles that are not typically identified as mainstream. AllMusic defines it as comprising " hip hop groups that refuse to confor ...
group Boyfriendz and three EPs as a member of the
post-hardcore Post-hardcore is a punk rock music genre that maintains the aggression and intensity of hardcore punk but emphasizes a greater degree of creative expression. It was initially inspired by post-punk and noise rock. Like post-punk, the term has been ...
band
If I Die First Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981 in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, singer and record producer. He is known for being the vocalist and guitarist of the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Violen ...
. Beginning his career playing in multiple local
Texas Texas (, ; Spanish language, Spanish: ''Texas'', ''Tejas'') is a state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. At 268,596 square miles (695,662 km2), and with more than 29.1 million residents in 2 ...
metalcore Metalcore (also known as metallic hardcore) is a fusion music genre that combines elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk. As with other styles blending metal and hardcore, such as crust punk and grindcore, metalcore is noted for its use of ...
bands, he began an acoustic solo career in 2016 under the name Tremor. After posting a number of songs on
SoundCloud SoundCloud is an online audio distribution platform and music sharing website that enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is one of the largest music streaming se ...
he became increasingly influenced by the emerging
emo rap Emo rap is a fusion genre of hip hop and emo music. Originating in the SoundCloud rap scene in the mid-2010s, the genre fuses characteristics of hip hop music, such as beats and rapping, with the lyrical themes, instrumentals, and vocals commo ...
scene on the platform, which led to him taking on the Lil Lotus moniker and associating with members and affiliates of
GothBoiClique GothBoiClique (also abbreviated as GBC) is an American emo rap collective based in Los Angeles, California. It was formed in 2012 by Wicca Phase Springs Eternal, Cold Hart, and Horse Head. The group's name comes from a beat that Cold Hart sent to ...
.


Early life

John "Elias" Villagran grew up in
Pleasant Grove, Dallas Pleasant Grove is an area located in the southeast portion of Dallas, Texas. The Pleasant Grove area is bounded by Bruton Road to the North, Marvel Dr. on the south, Prairie Creek (the creek, not the road) on the east and the Trinity Forest on th ...
,
Texas Texas (, ; Spanish language, Spanish: ''Texas'', ''Tejas'') is a state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States. At 268,596 square miles (695,662 km2), and with more than 29.1 million residents in 2 ...
with devout
Christian Christians () are people who follow or adhere to Christianity, a monotheistic Abrahamic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The words ''Christ'' and ''Christian'' derive from the Koine Greek title ''Christós'' (Χρι ...
parents. In childhood, he and his family attended
Fellowship Church Fellowship Church (FC) is Baptist Evangelical multi-site megachurch located in Grapevine, Texas, a suburb of Fort Worth, that is affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. FC's lead pastor has been Ed Young since its opening in 1989. Hi ...
. His father was a musician, who introduced to a wide variety of musical styles including
jazz Jazz is a music genre that originated in the African-American communities of New Orleans, Louisiana in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, with its roots in blues and ragtime. Since the 1920s Jazz Age, it has been recognized as a major ...
,
reggaeton Reggaeton (, ), also known as reggaetón and reguetón (), is a music style that originated in Panama during the late 1980s. It was later popularized in Puerto Rico. It has evolved from dancehall and has been influenced by American Hip hop m ...
and
oldies Oldies is a term for musical genres such as pop music, rock and roll, doo-wop, surf music (broadly characterized as classic rock and pop rock) from the second half of the 20th century, specifically from around the mid-1950s to the 1980s, as we ...
. He became influenced to make music through groups like
Linkin Park Linkin Park is an American rock band from Agoura Hills, California. The band's current lineup comprises vocalist/rhythm guitarist/keyboardist Mike Shinoda, lead guitarist Brad Delson, bassist Dave Farrell, DJ/turntablist Joe Hahn and drummer ...
and
Paramore Paramore is an American rock band from Franklin, Tennessee, formed in 2004. The band currently consists of lead vocalist Hayley Williams, guitarist Taylor York and drummer Zac Farro. Williams and Farro are founding members of the group, whil ...
, as well as various
emo Emo is a rock music genre characterized by emotional, often confessional lyrics. It emerged as a style of and hardcore punk from the Washington D.C. hardcore punk scene, where it was known as emotional hardcore or emocore and pioneered b ...
and heavy metal songs that his friend had put on an
iPod The iPod is a discontinued series of portable media players and multi-purpose mobile devices designed and marketed by Apple Inc. The first version was released on October 23, 2001, about months after the Macintosh version of iTunes ...
that Villagran had stolen. He was eventually accepted into a music and arts high school and began being taught guitar by his father. By fourteen, he and his brother were performing praise and worship music at their church, which led to him forming a Christian
melodic hardcore Melodic hardcore is a broadly defined subgenre of hardcore punk with a strong emphasis on melody in its guitar work. It generally incorporates fast rhythms, melodic and often distorted guitar riffs, and vocal styles tending towards shouting and ...
band. His first concert was at the
Palladium Ballroom The Palladium Ballroom was a New York City night club. The US mambo craze that started in 1948 began at the Palladium Ballroom. On March 15, 1946, it opened at the northeast corner of Broadway and 53rd Street.''New York Post'', March 14, 1946; p ...
at fourteen, watching Paramore,
the Starting Line The Starting Line is an American pop punk band based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, that formed in 1999. History Early years (1999–2001) In 1999, the band that would become The Starting Line was initiated in Churchville, Pennsylvania via an e ...
and
the Almost The Almost is an American rock band from Clearwater, Florida, fronted by Underoath drummer and vocalist Aaron Gillespie. Formed in 2005 as a solo project by Gillespie, the band currently includes guitarist Jay Vilardi, bassist Jon Thompson, and d ...
. He found himself doing fill-in spots for various acts in his local
metalcore Metalcore (also known as metallic hardcore) is a fusion music genre that combines elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk. As with other styles blending metal and hardcore, such as crust punk and grindcore, metalcore is noted for its use of ...
scene, including Be//Gotten and Azurah, as well as becoming a frequent user of drugs such as
LSD Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), also known colloquially as acid, is a potent psychedelic drug. Effects typically include intensified thoughts, emotions, and sensory perception. At sufficiently high dosages LSD manifests primarily mental, vi ...
and
Xanax Alprazolam, sold under the brand name Xanax, among others, is a fast-acting, potent tranquilizer of medium duration in the triazolobenzodiazepine (TBZD) class, which are benzodiazepines (BZDs) fused with a triazole ring. It is most commonly ...
. When Villagran was eighteen, his father died, which led him to leave home and live in his car for the following two years. He spent much of this period parked in friends' driveways and talking to his mother once a month by phone call. After returning home, he commenced his fill-in roles, organising local concerts and working day jobs in factories. The birth of his son Luca led him to stop performing with bands and begin pursuing music solo.


Career


Solo

Villagran began recording and mixing acoustic solo music and uploading the songs online in 2016. At this time he was performing under the name Tremor. He soon changed his stage name to Lil Lotus, after being introduced to and becoming influenced by the sound of
GothBoiClique GothBoiClique (also abbreviated as GBC) is an American emo rap collective based in Los Angeles, California. It was formed in 2012 by Wicca Phase Springs Eternal, Cold Hart, and Horse Head. The group's name comes from a beat that Cold Hart sent to ...
members
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal Adam McIlwee (born March 11, 1989), often known by the stage name Wicca Phase Springs Eternal (WPSE), is an American musician from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Beginning his career as a member of the rock band Tigers Jaw, he soon began pursuing a solo ...
, Horse Head and Coldhart. His career began to grow as he began having tracks of his such as "Run Home" and "Scared to Die" be uploaded on YouTube channels like Astari. On June 15, 2017, he released the EP ''Bodybag''. On September 14, 2017, he released the song "Ur Dad Has A Gun" featuring Shinigami. A music video was released for the track "Bodybag", which features Coldhart was released on January 15, 2018. From March 3 to April 6, he opened for Nothing,Nowhere on his U.S. headline tour alongside Shinigami and Jay-Vee. Between May 13 and 31, he opened for
Senses Fail Senses Fail is an American rock band formed in Ridgewood, New Jersey, in 2001. Founded by vocalist James "Buddy" Nielsen, drummer Dan Trapp, guitarists Garrett Zablocki and Dave Miller, and bassist James Gill (replaced by Mike Glita shortly afte ...
on their U.S. headline tour alongside
Sharptooth Sharptooth is an American hardcore punk band from Baltimore, Maryland, United States. The ensemble has released an EP called ''Chompers'' and two studio albums, entitled ''Clever Girl'' and ''Transitional Forms''. History In May 2017, Shar ...
. On August 10, he released a collaborative EP with Horse Head titled "I Did This to Myself". He was featured on the song "Don't Take Me For Pomegranate" by
I Set My Friends on Fire I Set My Friends on Fire (often abbreviated as ISMFOF) is an experimental rock band from Miami, Florida. The band was formed in 2007 by Matt Mehana and former member Nabil Moo. The group signed with Epitaph Records before releasing their debut ...
released on September 7. From October 5 to October 9, he opened for
Papa Roach Papa Roach is an American rock band from Vacaville, California, formed in 1993. The original lineup consisted of lead vocalist Jacoby Shaddix, guitarist Jerry Horton, drummer Dave Buckner, bassist Will James, and trombonist Ben Luther. After ...
on their short U.S. tour, alongside Of Mice & Men. On May 31, 2019, he released a collaborative EP with I Set My Friends on Fire, featuring one track where Villagran covers I Set My Friends on Fire, one track where I Set My Friends on Fire cover Villagran and two original collaborative songs. On December 11, it was announced that he had signed to
Epitaph Records Epitaph Records is an American independent record label owned by Bad Religion guitarist Brett Gurewitz. Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, most acts signed to the label were punk and pop punk acts, while there are many post-hardcore and emo bands ...
, which coincided with the release of the single "Never Get Away". On February 3, 2020, he was featured on the single "Promise" by Tisoki. On February 21, he released the song "I Don't Even Like U", as a single. On April 6, he released the song "Never Felt Better" as a single. On May 15, he released the EP ''All My Little Scars, Vol. 1'', the first in a trilogy of EPs released in 2020. He featured on the song "Dead Roses" by Slit, which was released on July 31. On August 3, he released the EP ''All My Little Scars Vol. 2''. On August 31, he released the final EP in the ''All My Little Scars'' trilogy. He was featured on the song "So In Love" by Danny Goo, which was released Sep 4, 2020. On February 16, 2021, he released the single "Girl Next Door" featuring Lil Aaron. On May 25, he released the single "Romantic Disaster" featuring
Chrissy Costanza Christina Nicola Costanza (born August 23, 1995) is an American singer, songwriter, and musician. She is best known as the lead vocalist and primary songwriter of the pop rock band Against The Current. Early life Costanza was born on Augu ...
, and announced the release of his debut album '' Errør Bøy''. On June 29, he released the single "Think of Me Tonight". On August 1, he released the single "Rooftop". ''Errør Bøy'' was officially released on August 20, 2021.


Boyfriendz

In late 2017, Villagran formed the group Boyfriendz, with Smrtdeath and
Lil Aaron Aaron Jennings Puckett, better known by his stage name Lil Aaron (stylized as lil aaron), is an American rapper, singer and songwriter from Goshen, Indiana. Merging elements of pop punk and emo with hip hop and pop, he has released five solo E ...
. They released their debut self-titled EP in December 2017. The EP was recorded in a single night and was released within a week through
SoundCloud SoundCloud is an online audio distribution platform and music sharing website that enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is one of the largest music streaming se ...
. On February 14, 2018, Boyfriendz released their second EP ''BFZ2''.


If I Die First

In 2020, he formed the band
If I Die First Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981 in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, singer and record producer. He is known for being the vocalist and guitarist of the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Violen ...
. Villagran is the band's lead vocalist, accompanied by emo rappers Lil Zubin (clean vocals and keyboard) and Nedarb Nagrom (guitar and clean vocals),
From First to Last From First to Last is an American post-hardcore band based in the Los Angeles Area and Tampa, Florida. Formed by Matt Good, Scott Oord, and Parker Nelms in November 1999, the current line-up consists of Matt Good (lead guitar, vocals), Sonny M ...
guitarist
Travis Richter Travis Brandon Richter (born November 3, 1981 in Albany, Georgia) is an American musician, singer and record producer. He is known for being the vocalist and guitarist of the band From First to Last and the lead vocalist of The Color of Violen ...
(guitar and unclean vocals) and
Ghostemane Eric Whitney (born April 15, 1991), known professionally as Ghostemane or Eric Ghoste, is an American musician, singer, and songwriter. He has released eight solo albums and three collaborative albums under his Ghostemane moniker, primarily mer ...
backing band musicians Cayle Sain (drums) and Nolan Nunes (bass). Their music has been categorised as
metalcore Metalcore (also known as metallic hardcore) is a fusion music genre that combines elements of extreme metal and hardcore punk. As with other styles blending metal and hardcore, such as crust punk and grindcore, metalcore is noted for its use of ...
,
post-hardcore Post-hardcore is a punk rock music genre that maintains the aggression and intensity of hardcore punk but emphasizes a greater degree of creative expression. It was initially inspired by post-punk and noise rock. Like post-punk, the term has been ...
and
screamo Screamo (also referred to as skramz) is an aggressive subgenre of emo that emerged in the early 1990s and emphasizes "willfully experimental dissonance and dynamics".Jason Heller, "Feast of Reason". ''Denver Westword'', June 20, 2002Access date: ...
. The members of the band met through both
SoundCloud SoundCloud is an online audio distribution platform and music sharing website that enables its users to upload, promote, and share audio. Founded in 2007 by Alexander Ljung and Eric Wahlforss, SoundCloud is one of the largest music streaming se ...
and frequenting Richter's music venue in
Los Angeles Los Angeles ( ; es, Los Ángeles, link=no , ), often referred to by its initials L.A., is the largest city in the state of California and the second most populous city in the United States after New York City, as well as one of the world' ...
. The band was formed in April 2020 with Villagran on vocals, Zubin on vocals, Nagrom on guitar and vocals, Sain on drums and Nunes on bass, with Richter joining and Zubin beginning to play keyboard by the end of the month. They took their name from
Philadelphia Philadelphia, often called Philly, is the largest city in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, the sixth-largest city in the U.S., the second-largest city in both the Northeast megalopolis and Mid-Atlantic regions after New York City. Sinc ...
rapper Chynna Rogers' EP ''In Case I Die First''. Rogers was a friend of Nagrom's, who died in April 2020. On July 8 they released a music video for their debut single "Where Needles And Lovers Collide", directed by Max Beck and Ritcher, and announced the release of their debut EP ''My Poison Arms''. On July 10, they released the EP, which consisted of six tracks. It was recorded by each member individually during the
COVID-19 pandemic The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). The novel virus was first identif ...
. On March 30, 2021, the band announced a split EP with
SeeYouSpaceCowboy SeeYouSpaceCowboy (formerly stylized as SeeYouSpaceCowboy...) is an American hardcore punk band formed in San Diego, California, in 2016. It was founded by vocalist Connie Sgarbossa, drummer Ethan Sgarbossa and guitarist Taylor Allen. Their name ...
called ''A Sure Disaster'', which will be released on May 14, 2021, through
Pure Noise Records Pure Noise Records is an American punk rock record label based in Nashville, Tennessee. It was founded by Jake Round in 2009 while he was an editor at ''AMP''; the previous fall, friends of his in the band No Bragging Rights told him they were l ...
. They also released a video for the collaborative single from the EP called ''bloodstainedeyes''.


Personal life

Villagran has one child, his son named Luca. Luca was born when Villagran was twenty-one, to a woman named Miranda that he had been in a relationship with since he was nineteen. The couple broke up and got back together multiple times, but eventually broke up permanently after two years, a year of which was the relationship was long-distance, as she had moved to
Oklahoma Oklahoma (; Choctaw language, Choctaw: ; chr, ᎣᎧᎳᎰᎹ, ''Okalahoma'' ) is a U.S. state, state in the South Central United States, South Central region of the United States, bordered by Texas on the south and west, Kansas on the nor ...
. Villagran has been in a relation with rapper Sage Aquafina, who he had become engaged to, and bought a house in Dallas with, by 2019. By 2020, the couple had split up, an event which influenced multiple of his subsequent songs. Later on in Lil Lotus' career, he became addicted to
cocaine Cocaine (from , from , ultimately from Quechuan languages, Quechua: ''kúka'') is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant mainly recreational drug use, used recreationally for its euphoria, euphoric effects. It is primarily obtained from t ...
and various opiates (mainly
oxycodone Oxycodone, sold under various brand names such as Roxicodone and OxyContin (which is the extended release form), is a strong, semi-synthetic opioid used medically for treatment of moderate to severe pain. It is highly addictive and a commonly ...
and
fentanyl Fentanyl, also spelled fentanil, is a very potent synthetic opioid used as a pain medication. Together with other drugs, fentanyl is used for anesthesia. It is also used illicitly as a recreational drug, sometimes mixed with heroin, cocaine ...
). Eventually he reached sobriety, which he has maintained since the summer of 2019. After almost a year of sobriety, he relapsed for three months, before becoming sober once again in April 2020. Villagran has been diagnosed with
bipolar disorder Bipolar disorder, previously known as manic depression, is a mental disorder characterized by periods of depression and periods of abnormally elevated mood that last from days to weeks each. If the elevated mood is severe or associated with ...
. He is also openly
bisexual Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whi ...
.


Musical style

Villagran's early solo music has been categorised by critics as
emo rap Emo rap is a fusion genre of hip hop and emo music. Originating in the SoundCloud rap scene in the mid-2010s, the genre fuses characteristics of hip hop music, such as beats and rapping, with the lyrical themes, instrumentals, and vocals commo ...
, with Hysteria magazine hailing him as "one of the biggest influences of the emo-rap genre". However, he disavows the label himself, preferring to say that his music is simply an updated version of
emo Emo is a rock music genre characterized by emotional, often confessional lyrics. It emerged as a style of and hardcore punk from the Washington D.C. hardcore punk scene, where it was known as emotional hardcore or emocore and pioneered b ...
. His music often incorporates elements of
Contemporary R&B Contemporary R&B (or simply R&B) is a popular music genre that combines rhythm and blues with elements of pop, soul, funk, hip hop, and electronic music. The genre features a distinctive record production style, drum machine-backed rhythm ...
,
trap A trap is a mechanical device used to capture or restrain an animal for purposes such as hunting, pest control, or ecological research. Trap or TRAP may also refer to: Art and entertainment Films and television * ''Trap'' (2015 film), Fil ...
and
pop punk Pop punk (or punk pop) is a rock music genre that combines elements of punk rock with power pop or pop. It is defined for its emphasis on classic pop songcraft, as well as adolescent and anti-suburbia themes, and is distinguished from other pu ...
. Dead Press writer Tyler Turner described his music as "push ngthe boundaries of modern emo without falling too deeply into the trap of instrumental idleness". On his debut album ''Errør Bøy'', Villagran transitioned his music closer to pop punk. He has cited influences including
the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is an American rock band that was formed in Middleburg, Florida, in 2003. The band has released five studio albums to date. The current members are Ronnie Winter (lead vocals), Joey Westwood (bass), Josh Burke (lead gu ...
,
Saosin Saosin is an American rock band formed in Orange County, California in 2003 by Beau Burchell, Justin Shekoski, Zach Kennedy, and Anthony Green. The band released their first EP, '' Translating the Name'', in 2003. That year, vocalist Anthony G ...
,
Alesana Alesana ( ) is an American post-hardcore band from Raleigh, North Carolina. The group was founded by Shawn Milke, Dennis Lee and Patrick Thompson during the fall of 2004, and is currently signed to Revival Recordings and Artery Recordings. Alesa ...
,
Escape the Fate Escape the Fate is an American rock band from Las Vegas, Nevada, formed in 2004 and originally from Pahrump, Nevada. They are signed to Eleven Seven Music. The group consists of Robert Ortiz (drummer), Craig Mabbitt (lead vocalist), TJ Bell (rhy ...
,
SeeYouSpaceCowboy SeeYouSpaceCowboy (formerly stylized as SeeYouSpaceCowboy...) is an American hardcore punk band formed in San Diego, California, in 2016. It was founded by vocalist Connie Sgarbossa, drummer Ethan Sgarbossa and guitarist Taylor Allen. Their name ...
,
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal Adam McIlwee (born March 11, 1989), often known by the stage name Wicca Phase Springs Eternal (WPSE), is an American musician from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Beginning his career as a member of the rock band Tigers Jaw, he soon began pursuing a solo ...
, Horse Head and Cold Hart.


Discography


Studio albums


Extended plays


Singles


As lead artist


As featured artist


Collaborative


With Boyfriendz


With If I Die First


References

{{Reflist 1994 births Living people 21st-century American male singers 21st-century American singers American hip hop musicians American male rappers American bisexual musicians American LGBT singers Emo rap musicians Bisexual male musicians Bisexual singers LGBT rappers Rappers from Dallas 21st-century American LGBT people 21st-century American rappers LGBT people from Texas