Sibling estrangement or sibling alienation is the breakdown of relationships between

sibling A sibling is a relative that shares at least one parent with the other person. A male sibling is a brother, and a female sibling is a sister. A person with no siblings is an only child. While some circumstances can cause siblings to be raised ...

s resulting in a lack of

communication Communication is commonly defined as the transmission of information. Its precise definition is disputed and there are disagreements about whether Intention, unintentional or failed transmissions are included and whether communication not onl ...

or outright avoidance of each other. It is a phenomenon that can occur in families for various reasons such as unresolved conflicts, personality differences,

distance Distance is a numerical or occasionally qualitative measurement of how far apart objects, points, people, or ideas are. In physics or everyday usage, distance may refer to a physical length or an estimation based on other criteria (e.g. "two co ...

, or life events. Similar to

family estrangement Family estrangement is the cessation or reduction of a previously existing relationship between family members, often to the extent that there is little to no communication for a prolonged period. Often, at least one of the parties wants estrange ...

, sibling estrangement is also linked to disruptive

family Family (from ) is a Social group, group of people related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or Affinity (law), affinity (by marriage or other relationship). It forms the basis for social order. Ideally, families offer predictabili ...

events, such as parental divorce or the death of a

family member Family (from ) is a group of people related either by consanguinity (by recognized birth) or affinity (by marriage or other relationship). It forms the basis for social order. Ideally, families offer predictability, structure, and safety as ...

. It includes emotional and physical distancing of siblings. It is a voluntary and intentional process in which at least one sibling creates or keeps distance from another sibling, triggered by a negative relationship between them. It can happen at different ages, in the majority of cases it happens during

adult An adult is an animal that has reached full growth. The biological definition of the word means an animal reaching sexual maturity and thus capable of reproduction. In the human context, the term ''adult'' has meanings associated with social an ...

hood.

Contributing causes

Childhood dynamics

Sibling alienation can be significantly influenced by childhood dynamics, such as

sibling rivalry Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood-related or not. In childhood, siblings generally spend more time together than they do with parents. Sibling bonds are influenced by factors such as parental ...

and parental favouritism. Siblings who experienced a lot of

rivalry A rivalry is the state of two people or groups engaging in a lasting competitive relationship. Rivalry is the "against each other" spirit between two competing sides. The relationship itself may also be called "a rivalry", and each participant ...

resentment Resentment (also called ranklement or bitterness) is a complex, multilayered emotion that has been described as a mixture of disappointment, disgust and anger. Other psychologists consider it a Mood (psychology), mood or as a secondary emotion ( ...

, and conflict as children are more likely to have strained relationships as adults. Parental favouritism can exacerbate this by causing resentment and escalating sibling conflict.

Personality differences

Sibling estrangement can result from personality differences,

attachment styles Attachment theory is a psychological and evolutionary framework, concerning the relationships between humans, particularly the importance of early bonds between infants and their primary caregivers. Developed by psychiatrist and psychoanalys ...

, communication preferences, and life experiences, among other personal distinctions. Some personality characteristics, such as

neuroticism Neuroticism is a personality trait associated with negative emotions. It is one of the Big Five traits. Individuals with high scores on neuroticism are more likely than average to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, shame ...

extraversion Extraversion and introversion are a central trait dimension in human personality theory. The terms were introduced into psychology by Carl Jung, though both the popular understanding and current psychological usage are not the same as Jung's ...

, make people more or less likely to experience sibling estrangement.

Attachment theory Attachment theory is a psychological and evolutionary framework, concerning the relationships between humans, particularly the importance of early bonds between infants and their primary caregivers. Developed by psychiatrist and psychoanalys ...

suggests that early interactions with

caregiver A caregiver, carer or support worker is a paid or unpaid person who helps an individual with activities of daily living. Caregivers who are members of a care recipient's family or social network, who may have specific professional training, are o ...

s can shape a person's attachment style, which in turn can have an impact on their adult relationships. Individuals with insecure attachment patterns are more likely to experience alienation from their siblings in the context of sibling estrangement. Sibling relationships can be impacted by differences in communication methods, such as

conflict resolution Conflict resolution is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the peaceful ending of Conflict (process), conflict and Revenge, retribution. Committed group members attempt to resolve group conflicts by actively co ...

techniques or the ability to reveal personal information. Personality conflicts can result in disagreement, which is a frequent cause of estrangement.

Life events

Sibling estrangement can be significantly influenced by life events. An individual's capacity to sustain relationships with their siblings can be affected by a variety of circumstances, including the

death Death is the end of life; the irreversible cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism. Death eventually and inevitably occurs in all organisms. The remains of a former organism normally begin to decompose sh ...

of a parent or sibling, traumatic or abusive events, and mental health problems. For instance, a sibling who has experienced

abuse Abuse is the act of improper usage or treatment of a person or thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, ...

may find it difficult to trust them or feel secure in their presence, which might result in alienation. The incidence and length of estrangement can be influenced by the seriousness and timing of these occurrences. Life events are just one of several factors that can contribute to sibling estrangement, and their precise role may vary depending on the specific circumstances of each case.

Miscommunication

Effective

is essential for maintaining healthy sibling relationships. Poor communication, misunderstandings, and conflicts in communication styles can create barriers that make it difficult for siblings to connect and maintain a strong bond. In some cases, siblings may even avoid communication altogether, leading to a breakdown in their relationship. The importance of communication in sibling relationships makes it possible for estrangement to develop.

Trauma or abuse

Any form of sexual,

emotional Emotions are physical and mental states brought on by neurophysiology, neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavior, behavioral responses, and a degree of pleasure or suffering, displeasure. There is ...

, or

physical abuse Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. In most cases, children are the victims of physical abuse, but adults can also be victims, as in cases of domestic violence or ...

that takes place between siblings is referred to as sibling abuse. This can involve destructive actions such as

bullying Bullying is the use of force, coercion, Suffering, hurtful teasing, comments, or threats, in order to abuse, aggression, aggressively wikt:domination, dominate, or intimidate one or more others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. On ...

, physical

aggression Aggression is behavior aimed at opposing or attacking something or someone. Though often done with the intent to cause harm, some might channel it into creative and practical outlets. It may occur either reactively or without provocation. In h ...

, and

verbal abuse Verbal abuse (also known as verbal aggression, verbal attack, verbal violence, verbal assault, psychic aggression, or psychic violence) is a type of Psychological abuse, psychological/mental abuse that involves the use of Oral language, oral or w ...

. The impacts of sibling abuse can endure a lifetime for those affected, increasing their vulnerability to mental health disorders and interpersonal interaction troubles.

Mental illness/ substance use

Mental health Mental health is often mistakenly equated with the absence of mental illness. However, mental health refers to a person's overall emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It influences how individuals think, feel, and behave, and how t ...

and

substance abuse Substance misuse, also known as drug misuse or, in older vernacular, substance abuse, is the use of a drug in amounts or by methods that are harmful to the individual or others. It is a form of substance-related disorder, differing definition ...

can contribute to sibling estrangement in different ways. For instance, one sibling may keep their distance from a sibling who is battling

addiction Addiction is a neuropsychological disorder characterized by a persistent and intense urge to use a drug or engage in a behavior that produces natural reward, despite substantial harm and other negative consequences. Repetitive drug use can ...

mental illness A mental disorder, also referred to as a mental illness, a mental health condition, or a psychiatric disability, is a behavioral or mental pattern that causes significant distress or impairment of personal functioning. A mental disorder is ...

. Some individuals may use estrangement as a way of coping with their own mental health or substance use issues. This could be brought on by the strain of handling the circumstance or worries about how it will affect other family members. Mental health issues could also affect the ability of siblings to communicate effectively, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts that can drive them apart. Sibling estrangement itself can be challenging and lead to eventual problems with mental health and substance abuse.

Genetic factors

Genetic relatedness has been established as a significant risk factor, despite the impact of childhood co-residence having a large impact on its significance. Full siblings are less likely to experience estrangement than half and step-siblings who lived together for at least half of their upbringing. Non-biological siblings who had little to no history of childhood co-residence are more likely than other siblings to become estranged from one another. Certain

genetic predisposition Genetic predisposition refers to a genetic characteristic which influences the possible phenotypic development of an individual organism within a species or population under the influence of environmental conditions. The term genetic susceptibil ...

s, such as

temperament In psychology, temperament broadly refers to consistent individual differences in behavior that are biologically based and are relatively independent of learning, system of values and attitudes. Some researchers point to association of tempera ...

personality traits In psychology, trait theory (also called dispositional theory) is an approach to the study of human personality. Trait theorists are primarily interested in the measurement of ''traits'', which can be defined as habitual patterns of behavior, thou ...

, affect how siblings interact with each other and their ability to resolve conflicts. Heritable

genetic disorder A genetic disorder is a health problem caused by one or more abnormalities in the genome. It can be caused by a mutation in a single gene (monogenic) or multiple genes (polygenic) or by a chromosome abnormality. Although polygenic disorders ...

s or conditions may increase the likelihood of sibling estrangement. This could be due to the various challenges and

stressor A stressor is a chemical or biological agent, environmental condition, external stimulus or an event seen as causing stress to an organism. Psychologically speaking, a stressor can be events or environments that individuals might consider dema ...

s associated with managing the condition, which can have an impact on the sibling relationship. Not all siblings who encountered one of the mentioned causes will inevitably end up distant from one another. Some people might be able to resolve these problems and continue to have intimate connections, while others will not.

Symptoms

Sibling estrangement can have long-term consequences for the affected individual's mental health. If left unaddressed, it can also have long-term implications for the children of estranged individuals, as well as their grandchildren. The estrangement may present itself slowly over a longer period of time in the form of reduced communication until the estranging sibling completely stops all contact or it may manifest in a sudden cut-off in all communication. Due to the lack of communication and resentment toward each other, it is highly likely that one or both of the siblings struggle with mental health issues. These mental health disorders have symptoms and can range from depression to

eating disorder An eating disorder is a mental disorder defined by abnormal eating behaviors that adversely affect a person's health, physical or mental health, mental health. These behaviors may include eating too much food or too little food. Types of eatin ...

anxiety Anxiety is an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner wikt:turmoil, turmoil and includes feelings of dread over Anticipation, anticipated events. Anxiety is different from fear in that fear is defined as the emotional response ...

, and even

. Family is a close bond that a person has since birth, so it is very emotionally devastating when contact with one or more family members stops. This may lead to episodes of long-lasting

sadness Sadness is an emotional pain associated with, or characterized by, feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow. An individual experiencing sadness may become quiet or lethargic, and withdraw the ...

and feeling demotivated to improve the relationship with the sibling and hopeless for improvement. When not seeking help, this may turn into an actual depression disorder.

Childhood

When siblings face a substantial breach or distance in their relationship during their formative years, it is referred to as sibling estrangement in

child A child () is a human being between the stages of childbirth, birth and puberty, or between the Development of the human body, developmental period of infancy and puberty. The term may also refer to an unborn human being. In English-speaking ...

hood. Numerous things, including personality differences,

jealousy Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of Emotional insecurity, insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, he ...

, parental favouritism, or family strife, might contribute to this. Childhood sibling alienation can have a long-lasting impact on a person's emotional growth and relationships in later life. Sibling alienation can cause emotions of loneliness, rejection, and low self-esteem in children, and it can make it difficult for them to build intimate relationships with other people. This study suggests that family conflict caused by things like parental remarriage,

divorce Divorce (also known as dissolution of marriage) is the process of terminating a marriage or marital union. Divorce usually entails the canceling or reorganising of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the M ...

, and step-sibling relationships were linked to higher degrees of sibling estrangement in childhood.

Adolescence

Sibling estrangement occurs frequently throughout

adolescence Adolescence () is a transitional stage of human Developmental biology, physical and psychological Human development (biology), development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age o ...

, with 15% to 20% of siblings reportedly experiencing severe estrangement at this time in their development. As adolescents explore their own identities and relationships with peers and parents, studies suggest that sibling relationships during adolescence are frequently marked by both closeness and conflict. The quality of the sibling relationship throughout adolescence can impact the

psychological adjustment In psychology Psychology is the scientific study of mind and behavior. Its subject matter includes the behavior of humans and nonhumans, both consciousness, conscious and Unconscious mind, unconscious phenomena, and mental processes such as ...

of the siblings and their relationship in adulthood.

Causes

There are factors that may result in sibling estrangement during

puberty Puberty is the process of physical changes through which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction. It is initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads: the ovaries in a female, the testicles i ...

. For instance, sibling competition can cause estrangement because siblings feel frustrated or jealous of one another's successes or parental attention. A lack of communication and empathy between siblings can result from personality, preference, or disparities in values. Parental

partiality Impartiality (also called evenhandedness or fair-mindedness) is a principle of justice holding that decisions should be based on objective criteria, rather than on the basis of bias, prejudice, or preferring the benefit to one person over anothe ...

worsens the bond between siblings. Conflicts, particularly arguments or fights, harm sibling relationships permanently. Unresolved issues between siblings during adolescence have been linked to long-term estrangement. This is because siblings tend to hold onto negative feelings and memories. Parental divorce, remarriage, or important life events, such as moving or illness, can potentially disturb the sibling bond and lead to estrangement.

Adulthood

Sibling estrangement in

hood is caused by a variety of factors including issues originating from childhood such as rivalry and parental favouritism. These causes can also lead to an earlier form of estrangement in childhood and/or unfavourable and negative feelings between siblings which can build up over a longer period of time during the individuals’ youth, resulting in alienation after reaching adulthood. During adulthood, sibling estrangement seems to be a more temporary phenomenon. Single episodes of estrangement may occur, while multiple episodes are rarer. The

vulnerability Vulnerability refers to "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally." The understanding of social and environmental vulnerability, as a methodological approach, involves ...

of sibling relationships seems to increase over time, where older people report being estranged from siblings more often than younger ones. Sibling estrangement can be seen as a healthy

coping mechanism Coping refers to conscious or unconscious strategies used to reduce and manage unpleasant emotions. Coping strategies can be cognitions or behaviors and can be individual or social. To cope is to deal with struggles and difficulties in life. I ...

for family situations, which can allow for the reconciliation of sibling relationships.

References

{{Family Sibling Shunning