''Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width'' is a British television

sitcom A sitcom (short for situation comedy or situational comedy) is a genre of comedy produced for radio and television, that centers on a recurring cast of character (arts), characters as they navigate humorous situations within a consistent settin ...

first broadcast in 1967 as a single play in the ''

Armchair Theatre ''Armchair Theatre'' is a British television drama anthology series of single plays that ran on the ITV network from 1956 to 1974. It was originally produced by ABC Weekend TV. Its successor Thames Television took over from mid-1968. The Ca ...

'' anthology series, later becoming a series of half-hour episodes, which ran until 1971. A total of 40 episodes were made; along with a mini episode that was featured in ITV's '' All Star Comedy Carnival'' in 1969. It was originally made by

ABC Weekend TV ABC Television Limited, popularly known as ABC Weekend TV, was a British broadcaster which provided the weekend service in the Midlands and Northern England regions of the Independent Television (ITV) network from 1956 to 1968. It was one of ...

for the

ITV network ITV, legally known as Channel 3, is a British free-to-air public service broadcasting in the United Kingdom, public broadcast television network. It is branded as ITV1 in most of the UK except for central and northern Scotland, where it is b ...

, with its production being continued by

Thames Television Thames Television, commonly simplified to just Thames, was a franchise holder for a region of the British ITV television network serving London and surrounding areas from 30 July 1968 until the night of 31 December 1992. Thames Television broa ...

from the 1968 Christmas special onwards.

Plot

The plot revolves around two tailors in business together. Manny Cohen, played by

John Bluthal John Bluthal (born Isaac Bluthal; 12 August 1929 – 15 November 2018) was a Polish-born Australian actor and comedian, noted for his six-decade career internationally in Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States. He started his care ...

, is Jewish, and Patrick Kelly, played by Joe Lynch, is

Irish Catholic Irish Catholics () are an ethnoreligious group native to Ireland, defined by their adherence to Catholic Christianity and their shared Irish ethnic, linguistic, and cultural heritage.The term distinguishes Catholics of Irish descent, particul ...

. Above their shop works Lewtas (

Bernard Spear Bernard Spear (11 September 1919 – 9 May 2003) was an English actor. Early life Spear was born on 11 September 1919 in Croydon, Surrey, to a Polish-Jewish father and a Russian-Jewish mother. He was educated at Central Federation Scho ...

), who is also Jewish and imports cloth. Two further prominent characters in the first three series are Rabbi Levy ( Christopher Benjamin in the pilot, thereafter

Cyril Shaps Cyril Leonard Shaps (13 October 1923 – 1 January 2003) was an English actor of radio, television and film, with a career spanning over seven decades. Early radio Shaps was born in the East End of London to Polish-Jewish parents; his father ...

) from the local

synagogue A synagogue, also called a shul or a temple, is a place of worship for Jews and Samaritans. It is a place for prayer (the main sanctuary and sometimes smaller chapels) where Jews attend religious services or special ceremonies such as wed ...

, and Father Ryan ( Denis Carey in the pilot, thereafter Eamon Kelly) from the local Catholic church. One episode features Manny and Patrick trading the rights to display their pictures around the shop. Patrick has two pictures of the

Pope The pope is the bishop of Rome and the Head of the Church#Catholic Church, visible head of the worldwide Catholic Church. He is also known as the supreme pontiff, Roman pontiff, or sovereign pontiff. From the 8th century until 1870, the po ...

on the wall, while Manny has one of

Moshe Dayan Moshe Dayan (; May 20, 1915 – October 16, 1981) was an Israeli military leader and politician. As commander of the Jerusalem front in the 1948 Arab–Israeli War, Chief of General Staff (Israel), Chief of the General Staff of the Israel Defe ...

. Manny's comment is "It's the going rate. Two Popes to one Moshe." Another episode, "The Not So Kosher Cantor", has Patrick, a talented singer, filling in at the synagogue for a sick

cantor A cantor or chanter is a person who leads people in singing or sometimes in prayer. Cantor as a profession generally refers to those leading a Jewish congregation, although it also applies to the lead singer or choir director in Christian contexts. ...

, on the occasion of a visit by the

Chief Rabbi Chief Rabbi () is a title given in several countries to the recognized religious leader of that country's Jewish community, or to a rabbinic leader appointed by the local secular authorities. Since 1911, through a capitulation by Ben-Zion Meir ...

. Coached to sing phonetically in Hebrew, Patrick performs, every moment milked for comedic value. Finally, the Chief Rabbi congratulates Patrick but reveals he knows something is up. When asked how he knows, he replies that at the end of the service, "you genuflected and made the sign of the cross!"

Cast

as Manny Cohen * Joe Lynch as Patrick Kelly *

as Lewtas (16 episodes; series 3 to 6) *

as Rabbi Levy (9 episodes; series 1 to 3) * Eamon Kelly as Father Ryan (7 episodes; series 1 to 3) * Jim Norton as Father Ignatious (2 episodes; series 5 and 6) *

Meier Tzelniker Meier Tzelniker (1 January 1894 – 8 October 1980) was a Yiddish-speaking actor born in Hotin County, Romania. He appeared mainly in Yiddish theatre, but was sometimes a character actor in English-language plays and films, such as '' It Always R ...

as Israel Bloom (2 episodes; series 3 and 5) * Rose Power as Mrs Critchley (2 episodes; series 3 and 5) Notable guest artists include film actors

Dennis Price Dennistoun John Franklyn Rose Price (23 June 1915 – 6 October 1973) was an English actor. He played Louis Mazzini in the Ealing Studios film ''Kind Hearts and Coronets'' (1949) and the omnicompetent valet Jeeves in 1960s television adaptation ...

as a

Savile Row Savile Row (pronounced ) is a street in Mayfair, central London. Known principally for its traditional bespoke tailoring for men, the street has had a varied history that has included accommodating the headquarters of the Royal Geographical ...

tailor and

Rupert Davies Rupert Lisburn Gwynne Davies FRSA (22 May 191622 November 1976) was a British actor best remembered for playing the title role in the BBC's 1960s television adaptation of ''Maigret'', based on Georges Simenon's novels. Life and career Milit ...

as a Roman Catholic bishop,

Fred Emney Frederick Arthur Round Emney (12 February 1900 – 25 December 1980) was an English character actor and comedian. Emney was born in Prescot, Lancashire,GRO Register of Births Mar 1900 Frederick Arthur R Emney 8b 725 PRESCOT1901 Census: RG ...

Harold Bennett Harold Frank Bennett (17 November 1898 – 11 September 1981) was an English actor, active in stage, television and film best remembered for being in sitcoms written and produced by David Croft, having played 'Young Mr. Grace' in the 1970s Bri ...

David Kossoff David Kossoff (24 November 1919 – 23 March 2005) was a British actor. In 1954 he won the BAFTA Award for Most Promising Newcomer to Leading Film Roles for his appearance as Geza Szobek in '' The Young Lovers''. He played Alf Larkin in TV sit ...

(playing himself),

Jack Smethurst John Smethurst (9 April 1932 – 16 February 2022) was an English television and film comic actor. He was best known for his role as Eddie Booth in the British television sitcom ''Love Thy Neighbour''. Early life Smethurst was born on 9 April ...

, Frank Williams,

Bill Pertwee William Desmond Anthony Pertwee (21 July 1926 – 27 May 2013) was an English actor and comedian. He is best remembered for playing Chief ARP Warden Hodges in ''Dad's Army'' and P.C. Wilson in '' You Rang, M'Lord?''. Early life Pertwee was bo ...

, comedian

Dick Bentley Charles Walter "Dick" Bentley (14 May 1907 – 27 August 1995) was an Australian-born comedian and actor of radio, stage and screen. He starred with Jimmy Edwards in '' Take It From Here'' for BBC Radio. He was a staple of and pioneer of radio ...

Roy Marsden Roy Marsden (born ''Roy Anthony Mould''; 25 June 1941) is an English actor who portrayed Adam Dalgliesh in the Anglia Television dramatisations (1983–1998) of P. D. James's detective novels, and Neil Burnside in the spy drama '' The S ...

Victor Maddern Victor Jack Maddern (16 March 1928 – 22 June 1993) was an English actor. He was described by ''The Telegraph'' as having "one of the most distinctive and eloquent faces in post-war British cinema." Life and career Born in Seven Kings, ...

Barbara Knox Barbara Knox (''née'' Brothwood, formerly Mullaney; born 30 September 1933) is an English actress, best known for her long-running portrayal of Rita Tanner in the ITV soap opera ''Coronation Street''. She first appeared as Rita Littlewood fo ...

(credited as Barbara Mullaney),

Roy Barraclough Roy Senior Barraclough (12 July 1935 – 1 June 2017) was an English comic actor. He was best known for his role as Alec Gilroy, the devious, mournful landlord of the Rovers Return in the long-running British TV soap ''Coronation Street'', an ...

, George A. Cooper,

Rita Webb Olive Rita Webb (25 February 1904 – 30 August 1981), later known as Olive Rita Thompson, was an English character actress, mainly in comedy roles. She was the eldest child of Henry Augustus Webb (1880–1926) and Rose Jeannette Keysor. She had ...

Michael Robbins Michael Anthony Robbins (14 November 1930 – 11 December 1992) was an English actor best known for his role as Arthur Rudge in the television sitcom '' On the Buses'' (1969–73) and its film spinoffs. Early life Michael Robbins was born in ...

, and Ellen Pollock as Manny's mother Ruby.

Film adaptation

In 1973, Bluthal and Lynch reprised their roles in a film spin-off.

DVD release

A 4-disc set of the show, containing the Thames TV series, was released on DVD in 28 June 2010, by Network. An episode from the ABC era ''(Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone)'' was featured in a boxset titled ''ABC Nights In'', which was also released by Network on 22 December 2020.

Episodes

The pilot and the first two series were produced by ABC; however, the second series (of six episodes) did not air until just after Thames Television launched on 30 July 1968, which initially aired the six episodes from that series over August and September that year. Of the 40 episodes made, 11 are believed to no longer exist. These are the pilot, five of the six episodes from Series 1, and five of the six episodes from Series 2.

Pilot (1967)

Series One (1967)

Series Two (1968)

Christmas Special (1968)

Series Three (1969)

Christmas Special (1969)

Series Four (1970)

Series Five (1970–71)

Episodes 1, 3, 4 and 7 of Series 5 were made in black-and-white due to the ITV

Colour Strike The Colour Strike was an industrial action by technicians at ITV (TV network), ITV companies which ran from 13 November 1970 to 8 February 1971. Due to a pay dispute, technicians refused to work with colour television equipment. Some shows made d ...

Series Six (1971)

References

External links

* *
''Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width''
at the British TV Online Resources {{DEFAULTSORT:Never Mind The Quality Feel The Width 1960s British sitcoms 1970s British sitcoms 1967 British television series debuts 1971 British television series endings British English-language television shows ITV sitcoms Television shows produced by ABC Weekend TV Television shows produced by Thames Television Television shows adapted into films Television shows shot at Teddington Studios Television series about Jews and Judaism