BDSM BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged ...

, limits refer to issues that participants in a

play Play most commonly refers to: * Play (activity), an activity done for enjoyment * Play (theatre), a work of drama Play may refer also to: Computers and technology * Google Play, a digital content service * Play Framework, a Java framework * Pla ...

scene Scene (from Ancient Greek, Greek σκηνή ''skēnḗ'') may refer to: Arts, entertainment, and media Music *Scene (subculture), a youth subculture from the early 2000s characterized by a distinct music and style. Groups and performers * The S ...

or dynamic feel strongly about, usually referring to prohibited activities. Participants typically negotiate an outline of what activities will and will not take place. The participants describe what they desire, do not desire, will and will not tolerate, including the determination of limits. For example, it is common to set a

safeword In BDSM, a safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used by a person to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some safewords are used ...

and to establish certain types of play as prohibited. The BDSM usage of the terminology "limits" derives from the concept of "off limits", the idea of limiting a scene to a specific set of activities, and the limitations (in terms of interest, as well as physical and emotional tolerance) of the participants.

Setting limits

Both dominants and

submissive Deference (also called submission or passivity) is the condition of submitting to the espoused, legitimate influence of one's superior or superiors. Deference implies a yielding or submitting to the judgment of a recognized superior, out of re ...

s can set limits. Limits can be agreed to verbally or they can be incorporated into a formal contract. Sometimes the participants engage in a formal conversation about limits and boundaries; this is referred to as

negotiation Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties to reach the desired outcome regarding one or more issues of conflict. It is an interaction between entities who aspire to agree on matters of mutual interest. The agreement c ...

. Other couples discuss their likes and dislikes in a similar manner to "

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" relationships.

"No limits"

Some partners choose not to set limits; however, this is uncommon and most likely to be seen in established relationships between committed partners. It may occur in

total power exchange In BDSM, Master/slave, M/s or sexual slavery is a relationship in which one individual serves another in a consensual authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominance and submission, Dominant/Submission, submissive structures found ...

dynamics and can be considered a form of

edgeplay In BDSM, edgeplay is a subjective term for activity (sexual or mentally manipulative) that may challenge the conventional safe, sane and consensual ("SSC") scheme; if one is aware of the risks and consequences and is willing to accept them, the ...

. In wider kink and BDSM circles, especially in the context of casual play, “no limits” is commonly accepted to be an indication of an unsafe play partner.

Types of limits

The terminology varies slightly across different local communities and Internet forums. However, there are general usages recognized across most BDSM populations.

Hard limit

A hard limit is something that must not be done. This is so because it is essentially something which makes the party in question very uncomfortable or something which would invoke a triggered response from them. Violating a set hard limit is often considered cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include “ scat is a hard limit for me” or “I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit”.

Soft limit

A soft limit is something that a person hesitates about or places strict conditions on, but for which they may still give informed consent. An action could be prohibited except under specific circumstances or an area of discomfort that someone wishes to avoid. Soft limits can also include actions that require a cautious approach or — while somewhat appealing — still generate an uncomfortable amount of apprehension in one or more partners.

Requirement limit

A requirement limit, or must-limit, is something without which one or more partners will not participate in the scene. Examples include “lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me” or “if you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of aftercare.”

Time limit

A time limit is a set time period for which an activity or temporary relationship takes place. This is most common for scenes and casual

. Some couples practice time limitations for relationships. They can be used to set time limits on phases of relationships, such as training or consideration.