I'm Glad My Mom Died

''I'm Glad My Mom Died'' is a 2022 memoir by American writer, director and former actress Jennette McCurdy based on her one-woman show of the same name. The book is about her career as a child actress and her difficult relationship with her abusive mother who died in 2013. It is McCurdy's first book and was published on August 9, 2022, by Simon & Schuster.

Summary

Before

Jennette recounts her childhood and adolescence, shaped largely by her emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship with her mother, Debra McCurdy. Raised in a strict Mormon household in Southern California, Jennette is introduced early to the idea that her purpose is to fulfill her mother’s dreams — particularly, the dream of fame. Her mother, a cancer survivor, weaponizes her illness to manipulate Jennette, framing herself as a martyr while exerting total control over her daughter’s life. Jennette never wanted to act, but her mother relentlessly pushes her into child stardom, coercing her into auditions and grooming her to be “camera-ready” at all times. Despite feeling uncomfortable in the spotlight, Jennette complies to make her mother happy.

Debra’s control extends beyond Jennette’s career — into her thoughts, emotions, body, and even her basic privacy. She imposes rigid eating habits under the guise of helping Jennette stay young-looking for more child roles. This escalates into full-blown eating disorders — anorexia and later bulimia — which Debra actively enables and even praises. Debra also supervises Jennette’s showers and conducts disturbing “medical exams” well into her teenage years, convincing Jennette that this level of intimacy and control is normal. Isolated from peers and homeschooled, Jennette grows up entirely emotionally enmeshed with her mother, unable to distinguish her own desires from the expectations imposed on her.

As Jennette’s acting career takes off, especially with her breakout role as Sam Puckett on ''iCarly'', her inner turmoil worsens. She is overwhelmed by fame, pressure, and an identity that doesn’t feel like her own. Behind the scenes, she is subjected to inappropriate and coercive treatment from a figure known only as “The Creator” (a veiled reference believed to be Dan Schneider). He offers her alcohol while underage and fosters a toxic, exploitative environment on set. Meanwhile, her mother celebrates her success without acknowledging the emotional cost, brushing aside Jennette’s discomfort and concerns. Throughout this time, Jennette clings to the belief that everything she does is to earn her mother’s love and approval — even as it eats away at her mental and physical health.

Eventually, Debra’s cancer returns and becomes terminal. In the final years of her life, she continues to control Jennette, including pushing her toward a Mormon boyfriend to align with the family’s values. After Debra dies in 2013, when Jennette is 21, Jennette is left with a complex cocktail of grief, guilt, and an unfamiliar sense of freedom. The loss is devastating, yet it opens the door to questions Jennette had never dared to ask about who she is without her mother’s voice inside her head.

After

Jennette explores the messy and nonlinear path of recovery and self-discovery following her mother’s death. At first, her freedom feels more like disorientation. Untethered from her mother’s dominance, Jennette falls deeper into bulimia, anxiety, alcohol use, and destructive relationships. She continues working as an actress but feels increasingly alienated from the roles she plays both on and off-screen. Her eating disorder secretly worsens. Without the identity of “Debra’s daughter”, Jennette begins to unravel.

As time passes, therapy becomes a turning point. Jennette begins confronting the truth of her upbringing — peeling back years of denial to recognize her mother’s abuse for what it was. She recalls painful details: how her mother belittled her emotions, used cancer as leverage, and violated her bodily autonomy. Therapy sessions reveal just how deeply manipulated she had been. At first, these revelations bring shame and confusion, but over time, they spark clarity. She comes to see how her family had enabled her mother’s behavior, and how fame had served as a mask for profound pain.

Jennette also begins to dismantle the career that she never truly wanted. In 2017, she quits acting, a decision that feels like a quiet rebellion and a necessary act of self-preservation. She begins writing and directing, discovering her own creative voice. Slowly, she works on healing her relationship with food, learning to trust herself and her body again. For the first time in her life, Jennette lives not for anyone else’s expectations, but for her own evolving sense of self.

Jennette makes clear that her mother’s death, though tragic, freed her from an abusive relationship that had consumed her. She doesn’t deny the love she felt for Debra, but she redefines what love should mean: not control, not sacrifice, not performance. The memoir closes on a note of liberation — not of happy endings, but of Jennette finally having the space to begin her life on her own terms.

Background

McCurdy had been a professional actress from age six until she announced that she had permanently stopped acting in 2017. From 2009 to 2012, she was signed to Capitol Records Nashville, who released her self-titled debut studio album in 2012.

McCurdy had previously written pieces in publications such as ''The Wall Street Journal'' and began writing personal essays shortly after. She sent some of the essays to her manager at the time, who encouraged her to write a book about her experiences. Rather than write a book, McCurdy created a one-woman show titled ''I'm Glad My Mom Died'' which she performed in Los Angeles and New York City. Plans to tour the show in other cities were canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and she decided to write her material into a memoir.

McCurdy stated that she had rejected $300,000 from Nickelodeon to not talk publicly about her experiences at the network, including actions of a producer at Nickelodeon described pseudonymously as "The Creator".

Book cover

The cover features McCurdy looking up and holding a pink urn with decorative paper spilling out. About the decision to use the photo for the book cover, McCurdy told ''Entertainment Weekly'':

Reception

The book sold out within 24 hours of going on sale at retailers such as Amazon, Target, and Barnes & Noble. That same month it became a number one ''New York Times'' Best Seller for non-fiction in both hardcover and E-book, selling over 200,000 copies across all formats in its first week of release. As of early October 2023, it remained on the hardcover list 60 consecutive weeks. According to ''Deadline'', the book has sold nearly two million copies as of February 2023. It was also one of the most borrowed titles in American public libraries during 2023 and 2024.

''I'm Glad My Mom Died'' was met with "rave" reviews from critics, with review aggregator Book Marks reporting that none of the nine reviews were negative or mixed. In a starred review, ''Publishers Weekly'' called the book "Insightful and incisive, heartbreaking and raw." ''Kirkus Reviews'', which also gave a starred review, wrote that the book is, "The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace."

Nana Li Coomes of ''The Atlantic'' called it "a layered account of a woman reckoning with love and violence at once." Dave Itzkoff of ''The New York Times'' wrote that the memoir was "a coming-of-age story that is alternately harrowing and mordantly funny."

Accolades

Release history

Translations

* . Translated by Lucia Popovici. Iași: Alice Books. 2023. .
* . Translated by Soraya Borges de Freitas. São Paulo: nVerso. November 15, 2022. .
* . Translated by Magdalena Moltzan-Małkowska. Warsaw: Prószyński i S-ka. January 24, 2023. .
* . Translated by De vertaalzusjes. Amsterdam: Spectrum. February 9, 2023. .
* . Translated by Matteo Curtoni and Maura Parolini. Milan: Mondadori. March 14, 2023. .
* . Translated by Julia Gillberg. Stockholm: Bookmark Förlag. April 3, 2023. .
* . Translated by Christa Leve Poulsen. People's. June 9, 2023. .
* . Translated by Sylvia Bieker and Henriette Zeltner-Shane. Frankfurt a.M.: Fischer Taschenbuch. May 24, 2023. .
* . Translated by Saara Pääkkönen. Helsinki: Johnny Kniga. August 10, 2023. .
* . Translated by Daiva Krištopaitienė. Vilnius: Alma littera. August 24, 2023. .
* . Translated by Kjersti Velsand. Oslo: Kagge Forlag. August 30, 2023. .
* . Translated by Sára Moyzesová. Bratislava: IKAR. September 19, 2023. .
* . Translated by Corinne Daniellot. February 7, 2024. .
* . Translated by Hana Samardžija. Zaprešić: Fraktura. February 2024. .
* . Translated by Kristīne Spure. Rīga: Helios. July 29, 2024. .
* . Translated by Riko Murai. Tokyo: Tokuma Shoten. June 14, 2024. .
* . Translated by Rô. First News. June 22, 2024. .

See also

* ''Mommie Dearest'' (1978) – a memoir written by Christina Crawford about her strained relationship with her adoptive mother Joan Crawford.
* '' Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV'' (2024) – a documentary television series about Dan Schneider's tenure on Nickelodeon, featuring testimonials from former actors and crewmembers.

References

{{Authority control

2022 non-fiction books
American memoirs
Books about child abuse
Books about death
Comedy books
Debut books
Show business memoirs
Simon & Schuster books
Works about dysfunctional families