Henry Beard
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Henry Nichols Beard (born June 7, 1945) is an American humorist, one of the founders of the magazine '' National Lampoon'' and the author of several best-selling books.


Life and career

Beard, a great-grandson of 14th Vice President John C. Breckinridge, was born into a well-to-do family and grew up at the Westbury Hotel on East 69th Street in
Manhattan Manhattan ( ) is the most densely populated and geographically smallest of the Boroughs of New York City, five boroughs of New York City. Coextensive with New York County, Manhattan is the County statistics of the United States#Smallest, larg ...
. His relationship with his parents was cool, to judge by his quip, "I never saw my mother up close."Karp
pp. 29–30
He graduated from the
Taft School The Taft School is a private coeducational school located in Watertown, Connecticut, United States. It enrolls approximately 600 students in grades 9–12. Overview History The school was founded in 1890 as Mr. Taft's School (renamed t ...
in 1963, where he was a leader at the humor magazine, and he decided to become a humor writer after reading ''
Catch-22 ''Catch-22'' is a satirical war novel by American author Joseph Heller. It was his debut novel. He began writing it in 1953; the novel was first published in 1961. Often cited as one of the most significant novels of the twentieth century, it ...
''. He then went to
Harvard University Harvard University is a Private university, private Ivy League research university in Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States. Founded in 1636 and named for its first benefactor, the History of the Puritans in North America, Puritan clergyma ...
(from which he graduated in 1967) and joined its humor magazine, the ''
Harvard Lampoon ''The Harvard Lampoon'' is an undergraduate humor publication founded in 1876 by seven undergraduates at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Overview The ''Harvard Lampoon'' publication was founded in 1876 by seven undergraduate ...
'', which circulated nationally. Much of the credit for the Lampoon's success during the mid-1960s is given to Beard and Douglas Kenney, who was in the class a year after Beard's. In 1968, Beard and Kenney wrote the successful parody '' Bored of the Rings''. Beard and Kenney would become longtime friends and collaborators. Kenney described Beard as "the oldest guy who was ever a teenager". In 1969, Beard, Kenney and Rob Hoffman became the founding editors of the ''National Lampoon'', which reached an average monthly circulation of over 830,000 for the year 1974 (and the October issue of that year topped a million sales). One of Beard's short stories published there, "The Last Recall", was included in the 1973 ''Best Detective Stories of the Year''. During the early 1970s, Beard was also in the Army Reserve, which he hated. (Subscription required.) In 1975, the three founders cashed in on a buy-out agreement for ''National Lampoon''; Beard received US$2.8 million and left the magazine. After an "unhappy" attempt at screenwriting, he turned to writing books of humor.Karp, p. 372. Those that have reached the
New York Times Best Seller list ''The New York Times'' Best Seller list is widely considered the preeminent list of best-selling books in the United States. John Bear, ''The #1 New York Times Best Seller: intriguing facts about the 484 books that have been #1 New York Times ...
are ''Sailing: A Sailor's Dictionary'' (1981, with Roy McKie), ''
Miss Piggy Miss Piggy is a The Muppets, Muppet character known for her Breakthrough role, breakout role in the sketch comedy television series ''The Muppet Show''. She is notable for her temperamental diva superstar personality, her tendency to use French l ...
's Guide to Life'' (1981), ''Leslie Nielsen's Stupid Little Golf Book'' (1995, with
Leslie Nielsen Leslie William Nielsen (February 11, 1926November 28, 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters. He made his a ...
), ''French for Cats'' (1992, with
John Boswell John Eastburn Boswell (March 20, 1947December 24, 1994) was an American historian and a full professor at Yale University. Many of Boswell's studies focused on the issue of religion and homosexuality, specifically Christianity and homosexuality ...
), and ''O.J.'s Legal Pad'' (1995, with John Boswell and Ron Barrett). Other notable books include '' Latin for All Occasions'' (1990), '' The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook'' (1992, with Christopher Cerf), and ''What's Worrying Gus? '' (1995, with John Boswell).


Personal life

The ''
New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' has described Beard as "enigmatic". Among the enigmas, apparently, is his birthdate. Not even the year of his birth appears in the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data of his books or in various Web and print sources. However, Josh Karp's biography of Doug Kenney says that Beard was "a nearly thirty-year-old man" when he left the ''National Lampoon'' on March 18, 1975, and an article published on November 29, 1987, gives his age as 42. The birth year given above, 1945, is based on these two statements. Public records show that a HENRY N BEARD was born on June 7, 1945, in New York, NY. According to Josh Karp, Beard is remembered from his Harvard years as patrician, a pipe smoker, not over-concerned with the appearance or cleanliness of his clothes, misanthropic but not malicious, capable of understanding and organizing any subject, and a gifted student who occasionally wrote parodic papers. He was prematurely mature and the ''Harvard Lampoon''s arbiter. As a comic writer he excelled at parody, and his hero was S. J. Perelman. All these characteristics meant that he was an excellent partner with Kenney, who was flamboyant, fond of poses, and given to seeing humor where others recoiled. The comedy writer Chris Miller remembers that Beard "knew everything" and that he said on leaving the ''Lampoon'' that he was sick of being the father to all the writers. (Beard would have been about 30.) The comic writer and actor Tony Hendra says that at the beginning of Beard's tenure, he was painfully shy, though he was the magazine's authority over what material was used. In the next few years, he went through "the greening of Beard", growing his hair, switching from cheap beer to expensive whiskey, and in 1974, forming a relationship with the writer Gwyneth Cravens. In 1991, an article in a reliable publication said that Beard and Cravens divided their time between Manhattan and a renovated boat shed in East Hampton and referred to them as partners. A 2006 interview in a different publication said that Beard and Cravens had married. Also in 2006, Karp wrote that "reportedly" the couple had added California to their list of addresses and that Beard played golf almost daily but never kept score. In the movie '' A Futile and Stupid Gesture'' he is played by Irish actor
Domhnall Gleeson Domhnall Gleeson (; born 12 May 1983) is an Irish actor and screenwriter. The son of actor Brendan Gleeson, he studied media arts at the Dublin Institute of Technology. He began his career by directing and writing several short films, and garne ...
.


Selected bibliography

*'' Bored of the Rings'' (with Doug Kenney) (1969) *''Sailing: A Sailor's Dictionary'' (with Roy McKie) (1981) *''Miss Piggy's Guide to Life'' (1981) *''Cooking: A Cook's Dictionary'' (with Roy McKie) (1985) *''The Pentagon Catalog: Ordinary Products at Extraordinary Prices'' (with Christopher Cerf) (1986) *''Golfing: A Duffer's Dictionary'' (with Roy McKie) (1987) *'' Latin for All Occasions'' (1990) *'' Latin for Even More Occasions'' (1992) *''Advanced French for Exceptional Cats'' (1992) *''French for Cats: All The French Your Cat Will Ever Need'' (1993) *''The Way Things Really Work: (And How They Actually Happen)'' (with Ron Barrett) (1993) *''Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse'' (1994) *'' The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook'' (with Christopher Cerf) (1994) *''Sex and Dating: The Official Politically Correct Guide'' (with Christopher Cerf) (1994) *''The Official Sexually Correct Dictionary and Handbook'' (with Christopher Cerf) (1995) *''O.J.'s Legal Pad'' (with
John Boswell John Eastburn Boswell (March 20, 1947December 24, 1994) was an American historian and a full professor at Yale University. Many of Boswell's studies focused on the issue of religion and homosexuality, specifically Christianity and homosexuality ...
and Ron Barrett) (1995) *''What's Worrying Gus?: The True Story of a Big City Bear'' (with John Boswell) (1995) *''Leslie Nielsen's Stupid Little Golf Book'' (with
Leslie Nielsen Leslie William Nielsen (February 11, 1926November 28, 2010) was a Canadian actor and comedian. With a career spanning 60 years, he appeared in more than 100 films and 150 television programs, portraying more than 220 characters. He made his a ...
) (1995) *''The Unshredded Files of Hillary and Bill Clinton'' (with John Boswell) (1997) *'' Bad Golf My Way'' (with Leslie Nielsen) (1997) *''Zen for Cats'' (1997) *''The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf'' (1997) *''Mulligan's Laws'' (1998) *''Bill Gates' Private Super Secret Private Laptop'' (with John Boswell) (1998) *''Computing: A Hacker's Dictionary'' (with Roy McKie) (1999) *''Rationalizations to Live By'' (with John Boswell) (2000) *''Where's Saddam?'' (with John Boswell) (2003) *''X-Treme Latin: Unleash Your Inner Gladiator'' (2004) *''The Dick Cheney Code'' (2004) *''French Cats Don't Get Fat: The Secrets of La Cuisine Feline'' (2005) *''A Cat's Night Before Christmas'' (with John Boswell) (2005) *''A Dog's Night Before Christmas'' (with John Boswell) (2005) *''Murphy's Laws of Golf'' (2007) *''The Official Rules of Bad Golf'' (2007) *''Golf: An Unofficial and Unauthorized History of the World's Most Preposterous Sport'' (2009) *''Encyclopedia Paranoica'' (with Christopher Cerf) (2012) *''Spinglish: The Definitive Dictionary of Deliberately Deceptive Language'' (with Christopher Cerf) (2015)


References


Citations


Sources

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Further reading

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External links

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Henri De la Barbe
at LC Authorities, with 1 record {{DEFAULTSORT:Beard, Henry 1945 births Living people American parodists American satirists Parody novelists People from the Upper East Side Writers from Manhattan Taft School alumni The Harvard Lampoon alumni National Lampoon people 20th-century American novelists 20th-century American male writers 21st-century American writers American male novelists Novelists from New York (state)