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A girlfriend is a
woman A woman is an adult female human. Before adulthood, a female child or Adolescence, adolescent is referred to as a girl. Typically, women are of the female sex and inherit a pair of X chromosomes, one from each parent, and women with functi ...
who is a
friend Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague. Although there are many forms of f ...
,
acquaintance In social psychology, an interpersonal relation (or interpersonal relationship) describes a social association, connection, or affiliation between two or more people. It overlaps significantly with the concept of social relations, which are ...
or partner to the speaker, usually a female companion with whom one is platonically, romantically, or sexually involved. In a romantic context, this normally signifies a
committed relationship A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term r ...
where the individuals are not
married Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and b ...
. Other titles, for example "''
wife A wife (: wives) is a woman in a marital relationship. A woman who has separated from her partner continues to be a wife until their marriage is legally dissolved with a divorce judgment; or until death, depending on the kind of marriage. On t ...
''" usually signify that the individuals are legally
married Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognised union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and b ...
. The analogous term for men is "
boyfriend A boyfriend is a man who is a friend or acquaintance to the speaker, often specifying a regular male companion with whom a person is platonically, romantically or sexually involved. A boyfriend can also be called an admirer, beau, suito ...
".


Scope

Partners in
committed relationship A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term r ...
s are also sometimes described as a "significant others" or simply "partner", especially if the individuals are
cohabiting Cohabitation is an arrangement where people who are not legally married live together as a couple. They are often involved in a romantic or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis. Such arrangements have become incr ...
. "Girlfriend" and "partner" mean different things to different people and the distinctions between the terms are subjective. How the term is used will ultimately be determined by personal preference. In 2005, a
study Study or studies may refer to: General * Education **Higher education * Clinical trial * Experiment * Field of study * Observational study * Scientific study * Research * Study skills, abilities and approaches applied to learning Other * Study ...
was conducted of 115 people ages 21 to 35 who were either living with or had lived with a romantic partner. It notes that the lack of proper terms often leads to awkward situations, such as someone becoming upset over not being introduced in a social situation to avoid the question of their relationship . There exists some ambiguity between the terms "girl friend," or a friend who is female, and "girlfriend." The transition between the two is a significant aspect of adolescent development. Both forms of "girlfriend" and "girl friend" are used by different people to mean different things. For example, when the term "girlfriend" is used by a woman about another woman in a non- sexual, non- romantic context, the two-word form "girl friend" is sometimes used to avoid confusion with the sexual or romantic meaning. In this sense of its usage, "girlfriend" is used in terms of very close
friends ''Friends'' is an American television sitcom created by David Crane (producer), David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting List of Friends episodes, ten seasons. With an ensemble cast ...
and has no sexual connotations, unless it, for example, is in the case of
lesbian A lesbian is a homosexual woman or girl. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexu ...
,
bisexual Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females. It may also be defined as the attraction to more than one gender, to people of both the same and different gender, or the attraction t ...
or
pansexual Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people of all genders, or regardless of their sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are not determ ...
women. The term "girlfriend" is also used in LGBT communities and can refer to people of any sex or sexuality. The term "girlfriend" does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a girl or woman who is
dating Dating is a stage of Romance (love), romantic relationships in which individuals engage in activity together, often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the cate ...
a person she is not engaged to without indicating whether she is having sex with them. With differing expectations of sexual
mores Mores (, sometimes ; , plural form of singular , meaning "manner, custom, usage, or habit") are social norms that are widely observed within a particular society or culture. Mores determine what is considered morally acceptable or unacceptable ...
, the term "dating" can imply romantic activity whereas simply using "friend" would likely avoid implying such intimacy. It is essentially equivalent to the term "sweetheart", which has also been used as a
term of endearment A term of endearment is a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object for which the speaker feels love or affection. Terms of endearment are used for a variety of reasons, such as parents addressing their ch ...
. A similar relationship wherein there is no exclusivity is sometimes referred to by terms such as ''
friend with benefits Friends with benefits most specifically refers to a friends with benefits relationship. It may also refer to: Film and television * ''Friends with Benefits'' (film), a 2011 film directed by Will Gluck * ''Friends with Benefits'' (telenovela), ...
''.


Style guides

As of 2007, The ''
New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' style guide discouraged the use of the term "girlfriend" for an adult romantic partner: "Companion is a suitable term for an unmarried partner of the same or the opposite sex." The ''Times'' received some criticism for referring to
Shaha Riza Shaha Riza (; born 1953 or 1954), is a Libyan former World Bank employee. Her external assignment at the Foundation for the Future, a "semi-independent foundation to promote democracy" is both in the Middle East and in North Africa. In the mid-20 ...
as the "girlfriend" of
World Bank The World Bank is an international financial institution that provides loans and Grant (money), grants to the governments of Least developed countries, low- and Developing country, middle-income countries for the purposes of economic development ...
president
Paul Wolfowitz Paul Dundes Wolfowitz (born December 22, 1943) is an American political scientist and diplomat who served as the 10th President of the World Bank, U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense, U.S. Ambassador to Indonesia, and dean of Paul H. Nitze Scho ...
in one article about the controversy over their relationship. Other news articles in the ''Times'' had generally referred to her as Wolfowitz's "companion". The 2015 edition of the ''
New York Times Manual of Style ''The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage: The Official Style Guide Used by the Writers and Editors of the World's Most Authoritative Newspaper'' is a style guide first published in 1950 by editors at the newspaper and revised in 1974, 1999 ...
'' states, however, that the view on the term "girlfriend" as being informal is now relegated to the realm of traditionalism, and that it has become accepted to use "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" to describe people of all ages (with consideration given to the preferences of the people involved).


History of usage

According to the ''
Oxford English Dictionary The ''Oxford English Dictionary'' (''OED'') is the principal historical dictionary of the English language, published by Oxford University Press (OUP), a University of Oxford publishing house. The dictionary, which published its first editio ...
'', the earliest meaning of the word "girlfriend", from 1859 on, was to designate "a female friend; esp. a woman's close female friend". This was to distinguish from "friend" alone, which was being used by women to denote a male suitor, beau, or companion. In the late 1800s, it took on the meaning of "A female with whom a person has a romantic or sexual relationship".


Related terms

* A female engaged in an
extramarital Extramarital sex occurs when a married person engages in sexual activity with someone other than their spouse. The term may be applied to the situation of a single person having sex with a married person. It is distinguished from premarital sex, w ...
relationship with a married man is frequently considered a "
mistress Mistress is the feminine form of the English word "master" (''master'' + ''-ess'') and may refer to: Romance and relationships * Mistress (lover), a female lover of a married man ** Royal mistress * Maîtresse-en-titre, official mistress of a ...
". The word "mistress" was originally used as a neutral counterpart for the words "mister" or "master". * The word "
madam Madam (), or madame ( or ), is a polite and formal form of address for Woman, women in the English language, often contracted to ma'am (pronounced in American English and this way but also in British English). The term derives from the French la ...
" is still a respectful form of address, but has had sexual connotations since the early 18th century and has been used to refer to the owner of a brothel since the early 20th century. * Some
terms of endearment ''Terms of Endearment'' is a 1983 American family tragicomedy film directed, written, and produced by James L. Brooks, adapted from Larry McMurtry's 1975 novel. It stars Debra Winger, Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, Jeff D ...
directed to females, a romantic relationship not required, are "darling", "sweetheart", "love", etc. * Users of Internet slang and
SMS Short Message Service, commonly abbreviated as SMS, is a text messaging service component of most telephone, Internet and mobile device systems. It uses standardized communication protocols that let mobile phones exchange short text messages, t ...
slang often shorten "girlfriend" to the initialism "gf". * Additionally, gender-indiscriminate terms also apply (e.g., lover, heartthrob, paramour, squeeze, sweetheart, true love, wooer, date, steady, admirer, bae, or companion).


Distinction from "lady friend"

A similar, but not equivalent, concept is the more ambiguous "lady friend" – a companion of the female gender who is possibly less than a girlfriend but potentially more than a friend. That is to say, the relationship is not necessarily platonic, nor is it necessarily an exclusive, serious, committed, or long-term relationship. The term avoids the overt sexual implications that come with referring to a woman as someone's "mistress" or "lover". In that sense, it can often be a euphemism. The term can also sometimes be employed when someone simply does not know the exact status of a woman that a man has been associating with. For instance, tabloid headlines often note that a celebrity has been seen with a new "lady friend". "Lady friend" may also be used to signify a romantic relationship with an older woman, when the term "girl" as in "girlfriend" may be deemed age-inappropriate.


See also

*
Domestic partnership A domestic partnership is an intimate relationship between people, usually couples, who live together and share a common domestic life but who are not married (to each other or to anyone else). People in domestic partnerships receive legal be ...
*
Girlfriend experience A girlfriend experience (GFE) is a commercial sex service. It ranges from a transactional sex relationship to a client paying a sex worker to pretend to be his girlfriend during the session. If the sex worker is male, the service is called a boy ...


References


Bibliography


''Sociocultural Perspectives on Language Change in Diaspora''
David R. Andrews (1998); John Benjamins Publishing Company, .
''The Handbook of Language and Gender''
By Janet Holmes, Miriam Meyerhoff (2003); Blackwell Publishing, .
''In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth''
Mary L. Gray (1999); Haworth Press, .
''Defining Language: A Local Grammar of Definition Sentences''
Geoff Barnbrook (2002); John Benjamins Publishing Company, .
''How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms''
R. W. Holder (2002); Oxford University Press, . {{Authority control 1860s neologisms Intimate relationships Terms for women Girls