Fiancée

An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself (which is typically but not always commenced with a wedding). During this period, a couple is said to be ''fiancés'' (from the French), "betrothed", "intended", "affianced", "engaged to be married", or simply "engaged". Future brides and grooms may be called ''fiancée'' (feminine) or ''fiancé'' (masculine), "the betrothed", "wife-to-be" or "husband-to-be", respectively. The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.

Long engagements were once common in formal arranged marriages, and it was not uncommon for parents betrothing children to arrange marriages many years before the engaged couple were old enough. This is still done in some countries.

Many traditional Christian denominations have optional rites for Christian betrothal (also known as "blessing an engaged couple" or "declaration of intention") that bless and ratify the intent of a couple to marry before God and the Church.

Origin

The origins of European engagement in marriage practice are found in the Jewish law (Torah), first exemplified by Abraham, and outlined in the last Talmudic tractate of the Nashim (Women) order, where marriage consists of two separate acts, called ''erusin'' (or ''kiddushin'', meaning ''sanctification''), which is the betrothal ceremony, and ''nissu'in'' or ''chupah'', the actual ceremony for the marriage. ''Erusin'' changes the couple's interpersonal status, while ''nissu'in'' brings about the legal consequences of the change of status. (However, in the Talmud and other sources of Jewish law there is also a process, called ''shiduchin'', corresponding to what today is called engagement. Marrying without such an agreement is considered immoral. To complicate matters, ''erusin'' in modern Hebrew means engagement, not betrothal.)

This was later adopted in ancient Greece as the ''gamos'' and ''engeysis'' rituals, although unlike in Judaism, the contract made in front of witness was only verbal. The giving of a ring was eventually borrowed from Judaism by Roman marriage law, with the fiancé presenting it after swearing the oath of marriage intent, and presenting of the gifts at the engagement party.

Betrothal

Betrothal (also called "espousal") is a formal state of engagement to be married.

Typical steps of a match were the following:
* Negotiation of a match, usually done by the couple's families with bride and groom having varying levels of input, from no input, to veto power, to a fuller voice in the selection of marriage partner.
** This is not as widely practiced as it was historically, although it is still common in culturally conservative communities in Israel, India, Africa, and Arab states of the Persian Gulf, although most of these have a requirement that the bride be at least allowed veto power.
* Negotiation of bride price or dowry
** In most cultures evolved from Europe, bride prices or dowries have been reduced to the engagement ring accompanying the marriage contract, while in other cultures, such as those on the Arabian Peninsula, they are still part of negotiating a marriage contract.
* Blessing by the parents and clergy
* Exchange of vows and signing of contracts
** Often one of these is omitted
* Celebration

The exact duration of a betrothal varies according to culture and the participants’ needs and wishes. For adults, it may be anywhere from several hours (when the betrothal is incorporated into the wedding day itself) to a period of several years. A year and a day are common in neo-pagan groups today. In the case of child marriage, betrothal might last from infancy until the age of marriage.

The responsibilities and privileges of betrothal vary. In most cultures, the betrothed couple is expected to spend much time together, learning about each other. In some historical cultures (including colonial North America), the betrothal was essentially a trial marriage, with marriage only being required in cases of conception of a child. Almost all cultures are loosening restrictions against physical contact between partners, even in cultures that normally had strong prohibitions against it. The betrothal period was also considered to be a preparatory time, in which the groom built a house, started a business or otherwise proved his readiness to enter adult society.

In medieval Europe, in canon law, a betrothal could be formed by the exchange of vows in the future tense ("I ''will'' take you as my wife/husband", instead of "I take you as my wife/husband"), but sexual intercourse consummated the vows, making a binding marriage rather than a betrothal. Although these betrothals could be concluded with only the vows spoken by the couple, they had legal implications: Richard III of England had his older brother's children declared illegitimate on the grounds their father had been betrothed to another woman when he married their mother.

A betrothal is considered to be a "semi-binding" contract. Normal reasons for invalidation of a betrothal include:
* Revelation of a prior commitment or marriage
* Evidence of infidelity
* Failure to conceive (in "trial marriage" cultures)
* Failure of either party to meet the financial and property stipulations of the betrothal contract

Normally, either party can break a betrothal, though in certain traditions, a financial penalty (such as forfeit of the bride price) applies. In some common law countries, including England and Wales and many US states, it was once possible for the spurned partner (often only the woman) to sue the other for breach of promise or "heart-balm". This provided some protection in an age where virginity at marriage was considered important and having a failed engagement could damage one's reputation, but this tort has become obsolete in most jurisdictions as attitudes to premarital sex have softened and emphasis shifted to allowing people to leave loveless relationships.

Judaism

In Jewish weddings during Talmudic times (c.1st century BC – 6th century AD), the two ceremonies of betrothal (''erusin'') and wedding usually took place up to a year apart; the bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony (''nissuin''), which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her. Since the Middle Ages the two ceremonies have taken place as a combined ceremony performed in public. The ''betrothal'' is now generally part of the Jewish wedding ceremony, accomplished when the groom gives the bride the ring or another object of at least nominal value. As mentioned above, betrothal in Judaism is separate from engagement; breaking a betrothal requires a formal divorce, and violation of betrothal is considered adultery.

Christianity

In most localities, the Rite of Betrothal (also known as "blessing an engaged couple" or "declaration of intention") as a precursor to Holy Matrimony is an optional practice in traditional forms of Christianity today that blesses and ratifies the intention of two Christians to marry one another. Many Christian denominations provide liturgies for Christian betrothal, which often feature prayer, Bible readings, a blessing of the engagement rings (in cultures in which rings are used), and a blessing of the couple. A betrothal makes what a couple promises to one another sanctified by God and the Church. A Christian engagement (betrothal) ceremony, which may be followed with a party, is normative in certain parts of the world, as with the Christians of India and Pakistan.

Catholic Church

Historically, betrothal in Roman Catholicism is a formal contract considered as binding as marriage, and a divorce is necessary to terminate a betrothal. Betrothed couples are regarded legally as husband and wife – even before their wedding and physical union.
The concept of an official engagement period in Western European culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be ... announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time so that, if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known." Such a formal church announcement of the intent to marry is known as banns. In some jurisdictions, reading the banns may be part of one type of legal marriage.

Protestant Churches

The Lutheran book of ''Liturgical Forms'' includes the "Form and Manner of Betrothal in Church", which can take place in the church or alternatively, in the house of the bride. This rite can be found throughout history, such as in early Lutheran liturgical texts, the Stasbourg C.O. 1604 being an example. ''Liturgical Forms'' states that The Rite of Betrothal is seen as an "admirable practice of plighting one's troth in church, so in keeping with the holiness and importance of marital betrothal as the ''incipient marital life''."

The 2019 Book of Common Prayer, used by Anglican Christian denominations such as the Anglican Church in North America, includes a Christian rite of betrothal called "A Brief Liturgy for the Signing of the Declaration of Intention" in which a Christian couple ratifies their intention before God and the Church to marry. During this liturgy, the following is signed and dated by the engaged couple after the sign of peace:

Following the signing of the declaration of intention, the couple is blessed by the priest:

The Lutheran Churches, the Anglican Communion, the Methodist Churches and the Presbyterian Churches have questions and responses for family members in its Rite of Betrothal, which is sometimes incorporated into the Service of Holy Matrimony itself.

Orthodox Churches

In the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches, the Rite of Betrothal is traditionally performed in the narthex (entranceway) of the church, to indicate the couple's first entrance into the married estate. The priest blesses the couple and gives them lit candles to hold. Then, after a litany, and a prayer at which everyone bows, he places the bride's ring on the ring finger of the groom's right hand, and the groom's ring on the bride's finger. The rings are subsequently exchanged three times, either by the priest or by the best man, after which the priest says a final prayer. Traditionally, the betrothal service takes place at the time the engagement is announced, though in certain localities it may performed immediately before the wedding ceremony itself. The exchange of rings is not a part of the wedding service in the Eastern Churches, but only occurs at the betrothal ceremony. Traditionally, the groom's ring is gold and the bride's ring is silver.

Engagement rings

Customs for engagement rings vary according to time, place, and culture. An engagement ring has historically been uncommon, and when such a gift was given, it was separate from the wedding ring.

The first instance of the tradition of giving a ring for marriage in the Hebrew Bible

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