Cottaging is a
gay slang
LGBTQ slang, LGBTQ speak, queer slang, or LGBTQIA slang is a set of English slang lexicon used predominantly among LGBTQ people. It has been used in various languages since the early 20th century as a means by which members of the LGBTQ communit ...
term, originating from the United Kingdom, referring to
anonymous sex
Anonymous sex is a form of one-night stand or casual sex between people who have very little or no history with each other, often engaging in sexual activity on the same day of their meeting and usually never seeing each other again afterwards. Th ...
between men in a
public lavatory
A public toilet, restroom, bathroom or washroom is a room or small building with toilets (or urinals) and sinks for use by the general public. The facilities are available to customers, travelers, employees of a business, school pupils or pris ...
(a "cottage" or "tea-room"
[Andre "tearoom; t-room ''noun'' a ]public toilet
A public toilet, restroom, bathroom or washroom is a room or small building with toilets (or urinals) and sinks for use by the general public. The facilities are available to customers, travelers, employees of a business, school pupils or pris ...
. From an era when a great deal of homosexual contact was in public toilets; probably an abbreviation of 'toilet room'.),
[ or cruising for sexual partners with the intention of having sex elsewhere. The term has its roots in self-contained English toilet blocks resembling small ]cottage
A cottage, during Feudalism in England, England's feudal period, was the holding by a cottager (known as a cotter or ''bordar'') of a small house with enough garden to feed a family and in return for the cottage, the cottager had to provide ...
s in their appearance; in the English cant language of Polari
Polari () is a form of slang or Cant (language), cant historically used primarily in the United Kingdom by some actors, circus and fairground performers, professional wrestlers, merchant navy sailors, criminals and prostitutes, and particula ...
this became a ''double entendre
A double entendre (plural double entendres) is a figure of speech or a particular way of wording that is devised to have a double meaning, one of which is typically obvious, and the other often conveys a message that would be too socially unacc ...
'' by gay men
Gay men are male homosexuals. Some bisexual men, bisexual and homoromantic men may dually identify as ''gay'' and a number of gay men also identify as ''queer''. Historic terminology for gay men has included ''Sexual inversion (sexology), in ...
referring to sexual encounters.[''Fantabulosa: A Dictionary of Polari and Gay Slang'']
by Paul Baker; Published by Continuum International Publishing Group, 2004; , .
The word "cottage", usually meaning a small, cosy, countryside home, is documented as having been in use during the Victorian era
In the history of the United Kingdom and the British Empire, the Victorian era was the reign of Queen Victoria, from 20 June 1837 until her death on 22 January 1901. Slightly different definitions are sometimes used. The era followed the ...
to refer to a public toilet and by the 1960s its use in this sense had become an exclusively homosexual slang term. This usage is predominantly British, though the term is occasionally used with the same meaning in other parts of the world. Among gay men in the United States, lavatories used for this purpose are called ''tea rooms''.[In 1970, an American graduate student at ]Washington University in St. Louis
Washington University in St. Louis (WashU) is a private research university in St. Louis, Missouri, United States. Founded in 1853 by a group of civic leaders and named for George Washington, the university spans 355 acres across its Danforth ...
, Laud Humphreys published a famous and controversial PhD dissertation, ''Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places'', on the tearoom phenomenon, attempting to categorize the diverse social backgrounds and personal motives. See .
Locations
Cottages were and are located in places heavily used by many people such as bus station
A bus station, bus depot, or bus interchange is a structure where city buses or intercity buses stop to pick up and drop off passengers. A bus station is larger than a bus stop, which is usually simply a place on the roadside, where buses can st ...
s, railway station
Rail transport (also known as train transport) is a means of transport using wheeled vehicles running in railway track, tracks, which usually consist of two parallel steel railway track, rails. Rail transport is one of the two primary means of ...
s, airport
An airport is an aerodrome with extended facilities, mostly for commercial Aviation, air transport. They usually consist of a landing area, which comprises an aerially accessible open space including at least one operationally active surf ...
s and university campuses. Often, glory holes are drilled in the walls between cubicles in popular cottages. Foot signals—tapping a foot, sliding a foot slightly under the divider between stalls, attracting the attention of the occupant of the next stall—are used to signify that one wishes to connect with the person in the next cubicle. In some heavily used cottages, an etiquette develops and one person may function as a lookout to warn if non-cottagers are coming.[
Since the 1980s, more individuals in authority have become more aware of the existence of cottages in places under their jurisdiction and have reduced the height of or even removed doors from the cubicles of popular cottages, or extended the walls between the cubicles to the floor to prevent foot signalling.]
Cottages as meeting places
Before the gay liberation
The gay liberation movement was a social and political movement of the late 1960s through the mid-1980s in the Western world, that urged lesbians and gay men to engage in radical direct action, and to counter societal shame with gay pride.Hoff ...
movement, many, if not most, gay
''Gay'' is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant 'carefree', 'cheerful', or 'bright and showy'.
While scant usage referring to male homosexuality dates to the late ...
and bisexual
Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females. It may also be defined as the attraction to more than one gender, to people of both the same and different gender, or the attraction t ...
men at the time were closeted
''Closeted'' and ''in the closet'' are metaphors for LGBTQ people who have not disclosed their sexual orientation or gender identity and aspects thereof, including sexual identity and sexual behavior. This metaphor is associated and sometime ...
and there were almost no public gay social groups for those under legal drinking age
The legal drinking age is the minimum age at which a person can legally consume alcoholic beverages. The minimum age alcohol can be legally consumed can be different from the age when it can be purchased in some countries. These laws vary betwe ...
. As such, cottages were among the few places where men too young to get into gay bar
A gay bar is a Bar (establishment), drinking establishment that caters to an exclusively or predominantly lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ+) clientele; the term ''gay'' is used as a broadly inclusive concept for LGBTQ+ communi ...
s could meet others whom they knew to be gay.[''Prejudice and Pride: Discrimination Against Gay People in Modern Britain'']
by Bruce Galloway; Published by Routledge, 1983; , .
The internet brought significant changes to cottaging, which was previously an activity engaged in by men with other men, often in silence with no communication beyond the markings of a cubicle wall. Today, an online community is being established in which men exchange details of locations, discussing aspects such as when it receives the highest traffic, when it is safest and to facilitate sexual encounters by arranging meeting times. The term ''cybercottage'' is used by some gay and bisexual men who use the role-play and nostalgia of cottaging in a virtual space or as a notice board to arrange real life anonymous sexual encounters.
Laud Humphrey's ''Tearoom Trade
''Tearoom Trade: Impersonal Sex in Public Places'' is a 1970 non-fiction book by American sociologist Laud Humphreys, based on his 1968 Ph.D. dissertation "Tearoom Trade: A Study of Homosexual Encounters in Public Places." The study is an ana ...
,'' published in 1970, was a sociological analysis and observance between the social space public "restrooms" (as toilets are euphemistically known in the US) offer for anonymous sex and the men—either closeted, gay, or straight—who sought to fulfill sexual desires that their wives, religion, or social lives could not. The study, which was met with praise on one side due to its innovation and criticism on the other due to having outed "straight" men and risked their privacy, brought to light the multidimensionality of public restrooms and the intricacy and complexity of homosexual sex amongst self-identifying straight men.
Legal status
Sexual acts in public lavatories are outlawed by many jurisdictions. It is likely that the element of risk involved in cottaging makes it an attractive activity to some.
Historically, in the United Kingdom, public gay sex often resulted in a charge and conviction of gross indecency
Gross indecency is a crime in some parts of the English-speaking world, originally used to criminalize sexual activity between men that fell short of sodomy, which required penetration. The term was first used in British law in a statute of the ...
, an offence only pertaining to sexual acts committed by males and particularly applied to homosexual activity. Anal penetration was a separate and much more serious crime that came under the definition of buggery. Buggery was a capital offence between 1533 and 1861 under UK law, although it rarely resulted in a death sentence. Importuning was an offer of sexual gratification between men, often for money. The Sexual Offences Act 1967
The Sexual Offences Act 1967 (c. 60) is an act of Parliament in the United Kingdom. It legalised homosexual acts in England and Wales, on the condition that they were consensual, in private and between two men who had attained the age of 21. ...
permitted sex between consenting men over 21 years of age when conducted in private, but the act specifically excluded public lavatories from being "private". The Sexual Offences Act 2003
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 (c. 42) is an Act of the Parliament (for England and Wales).
It partly replaced the Sexual Offences Act 1956 with more specific and explicit wording. It also created several new offences such as non-consensual voyeu ...
replaced this aspect with the offence of "Sexual activity in a public lavatory" which includes solo masturbation
Masturbation is a form of autoeroticism in which a person Sexual stimulation, sexually stimulates their own Sex organ, genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. Stimulation may involve the use of han ...
.
In some of the cases where people were brought to court for cottaging, the issue of entrapment
Entrapment is a practice in which a law enforcement agent or an agent of the state induces a person to commit a crime that the person would have otherwise been unlikely or unwilling to commit.''Sloane'' (1990) 49 A Crim R 270. See also agent prov ...
arose.[ Since the offences were public but often carried out behind closed lavatory doors, the police sometimes found it easier to use undercover police officers, who would frequent toilets posing as homosexuals in an effort to entice other men to approach them for sex. These men would then be arrested for importuning or soliciting and in some cases indecent assault.
]
Timeline of historic cases
Cultural response
* After the murder of playwright Joe Orton
John Kingsley Orton (1 January 1933 – 9 August 1967), known by the pen name of Joe Orton, was an English playwright, author, and diarist.
His public career, from 1964 until his murder in 1967 committed by his partner, was short but highly i ...
by his boyfriend Kenneth Halliwell
Kenneth Leith Halliwell (23 June 1926 – 9 August 1967) was a British actor, writer and collagist. He was the mentor, boyfriend and murderer of playwright Joe Orton.
Childhood
Halliwell was born in Bebington near Liverpool. He was very clo ...
in 1967, Orton's diaries were published and included explicit accounts of cottaging in London toilets. The diaries were the basis of the 1987 film ''Prick Up Your Ears
''Prick Up Your Ears'' is a 1987 British film, directed by Stephen Frears, about the playwright Joe Orton and his lover Kenneth Halliwell. The screenplay was written by Alan Bennett, based on the 1978 biography by John Lahr. The film stars G ...
'' and the play of the same name.
* The film '' Get Real'' was based on the 1992 play '' What's Wrong with Angry?'', which features schoolboys cottaging as a key theme.
*The 1992 play ''Porcelain'' by Singaporean
Singaporeans are the citizens and nationals of the sovereign island city-state of Singapore. Singapore is home to a people of a variety of ethno-racial-religious origins, with the city-state itself being a multi-racial, multi-cultural, m ...
-born playwright Chay Yew
Chay Yew () is a playwright and stage director who was born in Singapore. He was artistic director of the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago from 2011 to 2020.
Career
Chay Yew's breakthrough work came from his early plays ''Porcelain'' and ' ...
describes cottaging as a backdrop of violence between a gay Asian man and his white lover in a Bethnal Green
Bethnal Green is an area in London, England, and is located in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets. It is in east London and part of the East End of London, East End. The area emerged from the small settlement which developed around the common la ...
lavatory.
* The Chinese film '' East Palace, West Palace'', released in 1996, is centred on cottaging activity in Beijing.
*The modern dance company, DV8, staged a piece in 2003 called'' Men Who Have Sex With Men (MSM)'', which explicitly portrayed the theme of cottaging.
* Nicholas de Jongh's play '' Plague Over England'' was based on the arrest and conviction of John Gielgud
Sir Arthur John Gielgud ( ; 14 April 1904 – 21 May 2000) was an English actor and theatre director whose career spanned eight decades. With Ralph Richardson and Laurence Olivier, he was one of the trinity of actors who dominated the Britis ...
for cottaging and premièred in 2008.
* The 2017 video game ''The Tearoom'' by independent developer Robert Yang simulates cottaging practices set in a public restroom in 1962 Mansfield, Ohio.
See also
* Cruising for sex
Cruising for sex or cruising is walking or driving about a locality, called a cruising ground, in search of a sex partner, usually of the anonymous, casual, one-time variety. Published: 11-14-2007 Published: 9-21-2005 Article from NYT about a ...
* Gay bathhouse
A gay bathhouse, also known as a gay sauna or a gay steambath, is a public bath targeted towards Gay men, gay and Bisexuality, bisexual men. In gay slang, a bathhouse may be called just "the baths", "the sauna", or "the tubs". Historically, they ...
* Dogging
References
Citations
Sources
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{{Toilets
LGBTQ culture in the United Kingdom
Gay culture
Toilets
Casual sex
Gay slang
Urinals