Big Girls Don't Cry (book)
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''Big Girls Don't Cry: The Election that Changed Everything for American Women'' is a 2010
non-fiction Non-fiction (or nonfiction) is any document or content (media), media content that attempts, in good faith, to convey information only about the real life, real world, rather than being grounded in imagination. Non-fiction typically aims to pre ...
book written by the American journalist
Rebecca Traister Rebecca Traister (born 1975) is an American author and journalist. Traister is a writer-at-large for ''New York'' magazine and its website ''The Cut'', and a contributing editor at ''Elle'' magazine. Traister wrote for ''The New Republic'' from Fe ...
and published by
Free Press Freedom of the press refers to legal protections for public communications media. Free Press may also refer to: Publications * ''Free Press'' (CPBF), the journal of the Campaign for Press and Broadcasting Freedom * ''Free Press'' (Malayalam magaz ...
. The book focuses on women's contributions to and experiences of the
2008 United States presidential election Presidential elections were held in the United States on November 4, 2008. The Democratic ticket of Barack Obama, the junior senator from Illinois, and Joe Biden, the senior senator from Delaware, defeated the Republican ticket of John Mc ...
. Traister places particular focus on four main political figures—
Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton ( Rodham; born October 26, 1947) is an American politician, lawyer and diplomat. She was the 67th United States secretary of state in the administration of Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013, a U.S. senator represent ...
,
Sarah Palin Sarah Louise Palin (; Heath; born February 11, 1964) is an American politician, commentator, and author who served as the ninth governor of Alaska from 2006 until her resignation in 2009. She was the 2008 Republican vice presidential nomi ...
,
Michelle Obama Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama ( Robinson; born January 17, 1964) is an American attorney and author who served as the first lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017, being married to Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United Stat ...
, and
Elizabeth Edwards Mary Elizabeth Anania Edwards (July 3, 1949 – December 7, 2010) was an American attorney, author, and health care activist. She was married to John Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina who was the Democratic vice-presidential ...
—as well as women in the media, including the journalists
Katie Couric Katherine Anne Couric ( ; born January 7, 1957) is an American journalist and presenter. She is founder of Katie Couric Media, a multimedia news and production company. She also publishes a daily newsletter, ''Wake Up Call''. Since 2016, she ha ...
and
Rachel Maddow Rachel Anne Maddow ( ; born April 1, 1973) is an American television news program host and liberal political commentator. She hosts '' The Rachel Maddow Show'', a weekly television show on MSNBC, and serves as the cable network's special event ...
, and the comedians
Tina Fey Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey (; born May 18, 1970) is an American actress, comedian, writer, and producer. Known for her comedic roles in sketch comedy, television and film, Fey has received List of awards and nominations received by Tina Fe ...
and
Amy Poehler Amy Meredith Poehler ( ; born September 16, 1971) is an American actress and comedian. Known for her roles in sketch comedy, sitcoms and comedy films, she has earned acclaim and several accolades including a Primetime Emmy Award (out of 26 nom ...
, who portrayed Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton on ''
Saturday Night Live ''Saturday Night Live'' (''SNL'') is an American Late night television in the United States, late-night live television, live sketch comedy variety show created by Lorne Michaels and developed by Michaels and Dick Ebersol that airs on NBC. The ...
'', respectively. Traister also describes her personal experience of the electoral campaign and her shift from supporting
John Edwards Johnny Reid Edwards (born June 10, 1953) is an American lawyer and former politician who represented North Carolina in the United States Senate from 1999 to 2005. A member of the Democratic Party, he was the vice presidential nominee under ...
to Hillary Clinton. Traister began writing about the presidential election while working as a political columnist for ''
Salon Salon may refer to: Common meanings * Beauty salon A beauty salon or beauty parlor is an establishment that provides Cosmetics, cosmetic treatments for people. Other variations of this type of business include hair salons, spas, day spas, ...
''; her coverage for ''Salon'' provided much of the book's content. Traister aimed to write an account of the election through a
feminist Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideology, ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social gender equality, equality of the sexes. Feminism holds the position that modern soci ...
perspective, centred on the events that she felt were otherwise underreported in the media. The book was generally well received by critics.


Background

Rebecca Traister Rebecca Traister (born 1975) is an American author and journalist. Traister is a writer-at-large for ''New York'' magazine and its website ''The Cut'', and a contributing editor at ''Elle'' magazine. Traister wrote for ''The New Republic'' from Fe ...
described the 2008 presidential election as "a completely gripping narrative" during which "everything in America was busted open", but was disappointed by the way it was covered in the mainstream media. Traister felt that some "big stories"—such as
Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton ( Rodham; born October 26, 1947) is an American politician, lawyer and diplomat. She was the 67th United States secretary of state in the administration of Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013, a U.S. senator represent ...
becoming the first woman to win an American presidential primary—had been underreported, and that many
misogynistic Misogyny () is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. It is a form of sexism that can keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny has been widely practis ...
and
racist Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to inherited attributes and can be divided based on the superiority of one Race (human categorization), race or ethnicity over another. It may also me ...
remarks made by political commentators had gone unnoticed. In writing the book, Traister wanted to defend the
feminist Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideology, ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social gender equality, equality of the sexes. Feminism holds the position that modern soci ...
perspective of the election against its
Democrat Democrat, Democrats, or Democratic may refer to: Politics *A proponent of democracy, or democratic government; a form of government involving rule by the people. *A member of a Democratic Party: **Democratic Party (Cyprus) (DCY) **Democratic Part ...
and
progressivist Progressivism is a left-leaning political philosophy and reform movement that seeks to advance the human condition through social reform. Adherents hold that progressivism has universal application and endeavor to spread this idea to human so ...
critics "who continue to write off concern with these issues". Asked about what she intended for readers to ake away fromthe book, Traister said: Traister chose the title ''Big Girls Don't Cry'' when it was suggested to her by a friend, before she began writing the book. Traister notes that she thought the title was "the perfect ironic reference to Hillary lintons (non-)crying moment in New Hampshire", as well as a reference to her own response of "gulp ngout sobs" when Clinton lost the Democratic primary. She said that, after interviewing women who described crying at various moments during the election, "I realized that the title was more prophetic than I knew". Some of Traister's political views expressed in the book contradict those she expressed when she was writing for ''Salon'', such as her support for Clinton and her defense of
Michelle Obama Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama ( Robinson; born January 17, 1964) is an American attorney and author who served as the first lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017, being married to Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United Stat ...
in the book; throughout the book she describes the transformations and evolution of her opinions.


Content

''Big Girls Don't Cry'' is divided into twelve chapters, telling a roughly chronological recount of the 2008 election. Interwoven throughout the book are Traister's own experiences and perspective, as well as analysis from other political commentators. She focuses on four key women involved in the election:
Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton ( Rodham; born October 26, 1947) is an American politician, lawyer and diplomat. She was the 67th United States secretary of state in the administration of Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013, a U.S. senator represent ...
,
Sarah Palin Sarah Louise Palin (; Heath; born February 11, 1964) is an American politician, commentator, and author who served as the ninth governor of Alaska from 2006 until her resignation in 2009. She was the 2008 Republican vice presidential nomi ...
,
Michelle Obama Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama ( Robinson; born January 17, 1964) is an American attorney and author who served as the first lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017, being married to Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United Stat ...
, and
Elizabeth Edwards Mary Elizabeth Anania Edwards (July 3, 1949 – December 7, 2010) was an American attorney, author, and health care activist. She was married to John Edwards, the former U.S. Senator from North Carolina who was the Democratic vice-presidential ...
. In 2008 Clinton, a
Senator A senate is a deliberative assembly, often the upper house or Legislative chamber, chamber of a bicameral legislature. The name comes from the Ancient Rome, ancient Roman Senate (Latin: ''Senatus''), so-called as an assembly of the senior ...
and candidate for the Democratic Party presidential nomination, became the first American woman to win a presidential primary. Traister discusses Clinton's political campaign, which did not focus on her gender, and the misogynistic reactions she received from the media and political opponents—on both sides of the aisle, though primarily from the Republican Party. She argues that the Democratic Party's lack of response to the sexism of Clinton's opponents led a large number of liberal female voters to abandon the party, and blames
Mark Penn Mark may refer to: In the Bible * Mark the Evangelist (5–68), traditionally ascribed author of the Gospel of Mark * Gospel of Mark, one of the four canonical gospels and one of the three synoptic gospels Currencies * Mark (currency), a currenc ...
for advising Clinton not to advertise herself as a feminist. Although she originally supported
John Edwards Johnny Reid Edwards (born June 10, 1953) is an American lawyer and former politician who represented North Carolina in the United States Senate from 1999 to 2005. A member of the Democratic Party, he was the vice presidential nominee under ...
' candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination, she became a strong supporter of Clinton. Palin was the Republican Party nominee for
Vice President A vice president or vice-president, also director in British English, is an officer in government or business who is below the president (chief executive officer) in rank. It can also refer to executive vice presidents, signifying that the vi ...
and then-
Governor of Alaska A governor is an administrative leader and head of a polity or political region, in some cases, such as governors-general, as the head of a state's official representative. Depending on the type of political region or polity, a ''governor'' ma ...
. Traister criticises Palin's "faux feminism", as she claimed to be a feminist despite running under a party whose policies did not align with feminist ideals. Traister argues that Palin's strong conservatism led Clinton supporters to back
Barack Obama Barack Hussein Obama II (born August 4, 1961) is an American politician who was the 44th president of the United States from 2009 to 2017. A member of the Democratic Party, he was the first African American president in American history. O ...
rather than
John McCain John Sidney McCain III (August 29, 1936 – August 25, 2018) was an American statesman and United States Navy, naval officer who represented the Arizona, state of Arizona in United States Congress, Congress for over 35 years, first as ...
after Clinton's withdrawal from the race. Despite this, Palin was celebrated by Republican women voters; Traister argues that this inspired a wave of feminism which focused on political empowerment but neglected other values such as
reproductive rights Reproductive rights are legal rights and freedoms relating to human reproduction, reproduction and reproductive health that vary amongst countries around the world. The World Health Organization defines reproductive rights: Reproductive rights ...
. Traister also discusses the wives of men involved in politics: Michelle Obama, the wife of the Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama, and Elizabeth Edwards, the late wife of John Edwards, another candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination. Traister contrasts the Obamas' relationship with that of Hillary and former President
Bill Clinton William Jefferson Clinton (né Blythe III; born August 19, 1946) is an American politician and lawyer who was the 42nd president of the United States from 1993 to 2001. A member of the Democratic Party (United States), Democratic Party, ...
. She argues that Michelle Obama's candidness led many women voters to feel they had more in common with her than Hillary Clinton. On the other hand, Traister compares Elizabeth Edwards' public image to that of Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton, and criticizes her for "enabl ngher husband's deception" about his extramarital affair. In addition to female political figures, Traister also discusses women in the media who played influential roles in the election coverage. These women include:
Rachel Maddow Rachel Anne Maddow ( ; born April 1, 1973) is an American television news program host and liberal political commentator. She hosts '' The Rachel Maddow Show'', a weekly television show on MSNBC, and serves as the cable network's special event ...
, whose political commentary led to a surge in her popularity; television journalist
Katie Couric Katherine Anne Couric ( ; born January 7, 1957) is an American journalist and presenter. She is founder of Katie Couric Media, a multimedia news and production company. She also publishes a daily newsletter, ''Wake Up Call''. Since 2016, she ha ...
, who led a critical interview with Sarah Palin; and
Tina Fey Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey (; born May 18, 1970) is an American actress, comedian, writer, and producer. Known for her comedic roles in sketch comedy, television and film, Fey has received List of awards and nominations received by Tina Fe ...
and
Amy Poehler Amy Meredith Poehler ( ; born September 16, 1971) is an American actress and comedian. Known for her roles in sketch comedy, sitcoms and comedy films, she has earned acclaim and several accolades including a Primetime Emmy Award (out of 26 nom ...
, who parodied Palin and Clinton, respectively, in several ''
Saturday Night Live ''Saturday Night Live'' (''SNL'') is an American Late night television in the United States, late-night live television, live sketch comedy variety show created by Lorne Michaels and developed by Michaels and Dick Ebersol that airs on NBC. The ...
'' skits. The book is written from a feminist perspective; Traister recounts her own experiences with the
women's liberation movement The women's liberation movement (WLM) was a political alignment of women and feminist intellectualism. It emerged in the late 1960s and continued till the 1980s, primarily in the industrialized nations of the Western world, which resulted in g ...
, identifying with neither second-wave nor
third-wave feminism Third-wave feminism is a feminist movement that began in the early 1990s, prominent in the decades prior to the fourth-wave feminism, fourth wave. Grounded in the civil-rights advances of the second-wave feminism, second wave, Generation X, Gen X ...
. She notes the various responses to the election and candidates from different generations of feminists, and argues that for older feminists the main priority was the election of a female President, while younger women were less inclined to automatically vote for a female candidate. Traister concludes that the 2008 election marked the year that "the women's liberation movement found thrilling new life".


Reception

''Big Girls Don't Cry'' was deemed a
New York Times Notable Book ''The New York Times Book Review'' (''NYTBR'') is a weekly paper-magazine supplement to the Sunday edition of ''The New York Times'' in which current non-fiction and fiction books are reviewed. It is one of the most influential and widely rea ...
of 2010 and the winner of the
Ernesta Drinker Ballard Ernesta Drinker Ballard (May 13, 1920 – August 11, 2005) was an American horticulturalist and feminist. Among the founders of the National Organization for Women, the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League, and Women's Way, Ba ...
Book Prize. The book also received positive reviews from critics. In a review for ''
Foreign Affairs ''Foreign Affairs'' is an American magazine of international relations and foreign policy of the United States, U.S. foreign policy published by the Council on Foreign Relations, a nonprofit organization, nonprofit, nonpartisan, membership or ...
'', Walter Russell Mead described Traister as "one of the most powerful voices in a new generation of American feminist writers", while Liesl Schillinger of ''
The New York Times ''The New York Times'' (''NYT'') is an American daily newspaper based in New York City. ''The New York Times'' covers domestic, national, and international news, and publishes opinion pieces, investigative reports, and reviews. As one of ...
'' called the book "a passionate, visionary and very personal account" of the 2008 election. Maureen Corrigan of
NPR National Public Radio (NPR) is an American public broadcasting organization headquartered in Washington, D.C., with its NPR West headquarters in Culver City, California. It serves as a national Radio syndication, syndicator to a network of more ...
praised the "superb" book, and concluded that "Girls, these days, can not only run for president; they can brilliantly analyze presidential campaigns, too." ''
The Washington Post ''The Washington Post'', locally known as ''The'' ''Post'' and, informally, ''WaPo'' or ''WP'', is an American daily newspaper published in Washington, D.C., the national capital. It is the most widely circulated newspaper in the Washington m ...
'' critic Connie Schultz felt that at times Traister's writing seemed to "alienate every female reader over 40", but wrote that the book was "in its best parts ... a raw and brave memoir". A writer for ''
Kirkus Reviews ''Kirkus Reviews'' is an American book review magazine founded in 1933 by Virginia Kirkus. The magazine's publisher, Kirkus Media, is headquartered in New York City. ''Kirkus Reviews'' confers the annual Kirkus Prize to authors of fiction, no ...
'' praised Traister's arguments and described the book as a "nuanced look at how the recent election shaped—and was shaped by—gender". Lynda Obst wrote for ''
The Atlantic ''The Atlantic'' is an American magazine and multi-platform publisher based in Washington, D.C. It features articles on politics, foreign affairs, business and the economy, culture and the arts, technology, and science. It was founded in 185 ...
'' that the book served as a satisfying explanation to "mystified" Obama supporters "what the hell all the crying was about" after Clinton conceded from the Democratic primary. While ''
Slate Slate is a fine-grained, foliated, homogeneous, metamorphic rock derived from an original shale-type sedimentary rock composed of clay or volcanic ash through low-grade, regional metamorphism. It is the finest-grained foliated metamorphic ro ...
'' reviewer
Hanna Rosin Hanna Rosin (born 1970) is an American writer and podcaster. She is the host of Radio Atlantic and a Senior Editor at ''The Atlantic''. Previously she was the editorial director for audio for ''New York Magazine'' Formerly, she was the co-host o ...
questioned the relevance of some chapters but overall concluded that, "Traister can be clever, caustic, wickedly funny, and as cynical as the next blogger, but it's always clear that in her heart she cares."


References

{{reflist, 30em 2010 non-fiction books American political books Non-fiction books about elections Gender studies books Feminist books