Work spouse
   HOME

TheInfoList



OR:

Historically, "work spouse" is a phrase, mostly in
American English American English, sometimes called United States English or U.S. English, is the set of variety (linguistics), varieties of the English language native to the United States. English is the Languages of the United States, most widely spoken lan ...
, referring to a co-worker,: "They are platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached"; "A recent workplace survey found that 32 percent of workers say they have an 'office husband' or 'office wife.' '(It's) really hitting its stride this year,' said Mark Oldman, co-founder of Vault Inc. The career information company published the survey results in January" with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a
marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...
. Early references suggest that a work spouse may not just be a co-worker, but can also be someone in a similar field who the individual works closely with from a partnering company. A work spouse has been defined as “a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect”. A "work spouse" is also referred to as "workplace spouse", "work wife", or "office husband", "work husband", or "wusband".


Social documentation

In one 2006 survey, 32% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife". A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy f marriagewithout commitment." One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no strings attached." The phrase is, however, sometimes used for same-sex relationships.


Sociological and psychological implications

With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment. "Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the
propinquity In social psychology, propinquity (; from Latin ''propinquitas'', "nearness") is one of the main factors leading to interpersonal attraction. It refers to the physical or psychological proximity between people. Propinquity can mean physical proxi ...
effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly
limerence Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person, and typically includes intrusive, melancholic thoughts and/or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection as well as a desire to for ...
. Some "work spouses" admit that while sexual attraction between them is present, it is rarely acted upon, but rather "channeled" into a productive collaboration. This new social relationship is unique to the social milieu of the late 20th and early 21st century; and as a result the sociological and psychological implications this new social relationship poses to Western society's traditional notions of love, marriage, and friendship have not yet been fully explored.


Historical uses

The phrase "office wife" was common during the 1930s, popularized by
Faith Baldwin Faith Baldwin (October 1, 1893 – March 18, 1978) was an American writer of Romance novel, romance novels and other forms of fiction,
's 1930 novel ''The Office Wife'' and its 1930 movie adaptation. But the concept, if not the exact phrase, is much older: a 1933 ''New York Times'' article says: "Office wife" carried the connotation of subordinance or subservience. As feminism began to take hold in the 1980s, it became common to hear that "Many secretaries resent the 'office wife' syndrome," referring to being asked to do such things as paying personal bills for a boss, picking up everything from dry cleaning, or dusting the office. "I'm getting paid as a secretary," said one secretary. "I'm not a personal servant."


Modern usage

According to Timothy Noah, writing in ''Slate'', "The terms 'work wife,' 'work husband,' and 'work marriage' entered the national lexicon in 1987, when the writer David Owen wrote an ''Atlantic'' essay describing a particular platonic intimacy that frequently arises between male and female employees working in close proximity." An executive coach and workplace adviser noted that as of 2005, "The workplace spouse is a relatively new concept ... Many people don't know what to make of it yet. It is only within the last 25 years that men and women have become peers in the workplace ... This new camaraderie, coupled with long hours spent at work, has caused a fundamental shift in the way people conduct business and interact with one another."Jackson, Kate M. (2005), "It's a Marriage of Sorts: 'Workplace spouses' Share Office Goals, Long Hours, and a Need for Boundaries. Often times this office marriage can lead to a sense of comfort that is not received from the home life. Frequently, the two can engage in such activities that may only be approved of in actual marriages. This has led to many divorces that support the increasing divorce rates in America." ''The Boston Globe'', October 23, 2005, p. G1; quotes "executive coach and workplace advisor" Dory Hollander; online at


Television

Male–female television news co-anchors are sometimes referred to as "TV spouses" for the way they work together and present themselves side by side. "I've known Don for 14 years," said Minneapolis anchor Amelia Santaniello of her co-anchor. "We like to joke he was my first TV husband." Miami anchor Pam Giganti called her co-anchor "my partner and my TV husband for the past eight years." Anchor Mark Bradshaw writes, "I've gone through many 'TV wives'. I can't even remember all their names. Bad husband." Actress
Ana Gasteyer Ana Kristina Gasteyer (born May 4, 1967) is an American actress and comedian. She was a cast member on ''Saturday Night Live'' from 1996 to 2002. She has since starred in such sitcoms as ABC's ''Suburgatory,'' TBS's '' People of Earth'', NBC's ' ...
refers to actor
Chris Parnell Thomas Christopher Parnell (; born February 5, 1967) is an American actor and comedian. He was a cast member on ''Saturday Night Live'' from 1998 to 2006 and played the role of Dr. Leo Spaceman on ''30 Rock''. In animation, he voices Cyril Figgis ...
as her "wusband", or work husband, whom she has played the wife of in
The Groundlings The Groundlings is an American improvisational and sketch comedy troupe and school based in Los Angeles. The troupe was formed by Gary Austin in 1974 and uses an improv format influenced by Viola Spolin, whose improvisational theater techniques ...
, in ''
Saturday Night Live ''Saturday Night Live'' (often abbreviated to ''SNL'') is an American late-night live television sketch comedy and variety show created by Lorne Michaels and developed by Dick Ebersol that airs on NBC and Peacock. Michaels currently serves a ...
'' sketches, and on ''
Suburgatory ''Suburgatory'' is an American television sitcom created by Emily Kapnek that aired on ABC from September 28, 2011, to May 14, 2014. The series originally aired on Wednesday nights at 8:30/7:30 Central following '' The Middle''. The title is a ...
'': "I have my husband, Charlie, and then Chris Parnell ... He's my work husband, my 'wusband.'" On ''
Live with Kelly and Ryan ''Live with Kelly and Ryan'' (or simply ''Live'') is an American syndicated morning talk show hosted by Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest. Executive produced by Michael Gelman, the ''Live with...'' show formula has aired under various hosts since ...
'', the co-hosts
Kelly Ripa Kelly Ripa (; born October 2, 1970) is an American actress and talk show host. Since 2001, she has been the co-host of the syndicated morning talk show '' Live! with Kelly and Ryan'' in various formats. As an actress, Ripa's best known roles ...
and
Ryan Seacrest Ryan John Seacrest (born December 24, 1974) is an American media personality and producer. He is the co-host of ''Live with Kelly and Ryan'', as well as the host of multiple media shows including ''American Idol'', ''American Top 40'', and '' ...
frequently talk about their work spouse dynamic on their show.


See also

*
Emotional affair The term emotional affair describes a type of relationship between people. The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics or matches the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while not being physically cons ...
*
Queerplatonic relationship Queerplatonic relationships (QPR) and queerplatonic partnerships (QPP) are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, str ...


References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Work Spouse Interpersonal relationships English-language idioms Workplace