''There's No Place Like A Home'' is a comedy play by Paul Elliott which tells the story of the residents of Stollberg Hall Retirement Home for Theatrical Performers. When the home is threatened with closure, they do what any self-respecting bunch of former entertainers would do; they devise a cunning plan to save the home from closure, which is so theatrical and entertaining only ''they'' could pull it off. These older retired residents decide to kidnap a celebrity and hold them to ransom, using the money from this to save the grand house (and its even grander residents) and they choose

Jeffrey Archer Jeffrey Howard Archer, Baron Archer of Weston-super-Mare (born 15 April 1940) is an English novelist, life peer, convicted criminal, and former politician. Before becoming an author, Archer was a Member of Parliament (1969–1974), but did not ...

as their victim, only for things to go very wrong. The play toured in autumn 2006 and autumn 2007, with

Gorden Kaye Gordon Irving Kaye(7 April 194123 January 2017), known professionally as Gorden Kaye, was an English actor, best known for playing womanising café owner René Artois in the television comedy series Allo 'Allo!''. Early life Kaye was born o ...

, Ken Morley,

Don Maclean Don Maclean (born 1942/1943) MBE KSS is an English actor and comedian, who appeared on the BBC television series '' Crackerjack'' with Michael Aspel, Peter Glaze and Jan Hunt in the 1970s. Born in Birmingham, he attended Clifton Road S ...

Christopher Beeny Christopher Winton Beeny (7 July 1941 – 3 January 2020) was an English actor and dancer. He had a career as a child actor, but was best known for his work as the footman Edward Barnes on the 1970s television series '' Upstairs, Downstairs'', ...

, Peter Byrne,

Brian Cant Brian Cant (12 July 1933 – 19 June 2017) was an English actor of stage, television and film, television presenter, voice artist and writer. He was best known for his work in BBC television programmes for children from 1964 onward, most notabl ...

Sue Hodge Sue Hodge (born 4 June 1957 in Orsett, Essex) is an English actress, best known for her role as the waitress Mimi Labonq in the BBC sitcom Allo 'Allo!''. Trained as a dancer and theatre performer at Bird College, she has performed extensiv ...

Jan Hunt Jan Hunt (born 15 February 1938) is a British comedian, actress and music hall performer, who appeared on BBC television series '' Crackerjack'' with Michael Aspel, Ed Stewart, Peter Glaze and Don Maclean in the 1970s. She would often be seen pl ...

, Jody Crosier, Mike Edmonds, Brian Godfrey, and Emily Trebicki. Reviews appear to have been mostly unenthusiastic to lukewarm; but the '' Daily Telegraph'' was positive.Charles Spencer
Such sweet insanity
'' Daily Telegraph'', 27 September 2006.

References

2006 plays Comedy plays British plays {{2000s-play-stub