The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones
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"The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones" is the first episode of the third series of the British comedy series ''
Dad's Army ''Dad's Army'' is a British television sitcom about the United Kingdom's Home Guard during the Second World War. It was written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft, and originally broadcast on BBC1 from 31 July 1968 to 13 November 1977. It ran fo ...
''. It was originally transmitted on Thursday 11 September 1969. It is also the first episode to be broadcast in colour.


Synopsis

Lance Corporal Jones allows the
platoon A platoon is a military unit typically composed of two or more squads, sections, or patrols. Platoon organization varies depending on the country and the branch, but a platoon can be composed of 50 people, although specific platoons may rang ...
to use his butcher's van as an armoured car and Mainwaring meets the new Chief ARP Warden, William Hodges the
greengrocer A greengrocer is a person who owns or operates a shop selling primarily fruit and vegetables. The term may also be used to refer to a shop selling primarily produce. It is used predominantly in the United Kingdom and Australia. In the United ...
.


Plot

Following a lecture on the gases the enemy will use, Captain Mainwaring reads a communiqué sent by GHQ, which says that there is insufficient communication between the ARP and the
Home Guard Home guard is a title given to various military organizations at various times, with the implication of an emergency or reserve force raised for local defense. The term "home guard" was first officially used in the American Civil War, starting w ...
, so the new Chief Warden is attending to discuss co-operation. Mainwaring is disgusted to learn from Wilson that the new Chief Warden is that 'common fellow' Mr Hodges. Mainwaring believes that Hodges' occupation (a greengrocer) doesn't entitle him to be Chief Warden. Wilson agrees by saying that he has dirty finger nails. When Hodges arrives, he and Mainwaring have a brief argument about who should get the church hall every Wednesday evening. Some time afterwards, Walker talks to Jones about his delivery van. He reckons that he should lend it to Mainwaring as platoon transport. Jones is suspicious, so Walker admits that it will help his black market activities, but offers Jones petrol coupons in return. Jones reluctantly agrees. The next day, Mainwaring congratulates Jones and Walker on their efforts with the van. Jones tells Mainwaring that it not only serves as a
troop carrier A troop carrier is a means of transporting soldiers. A troop carrier vehicle may be configured for troop transport while used for other purposes at other times. Examples The Douglas C-47 Skytrain is an aircraft used as a troop carrier; the ...
and armoured car, but it also serves as an
ambulance An ambulance is a medically equipped vehicle which transports patients to treatment facilities, such as hospitals. Typically, out-of-hospital medical care is provided to the patient during the transport. Ambulances are used to respond to medi ...
. Wilson demonstrates with some of the platoon to Mainwaring, their new embarking and disembarking strategy, which interrupts Hodges' ARP lecture. He demands to know the reason why, and is intrigued to learn that the van doubles up as an ambulance. He asks the men to come down to Saturday's air raid practice and act as
stretcher bearer A stretcher-bearer is a person who carries a stretcher, generally with another person at its other end, especially in a war or emergency times when there is a very serious accident or a disaster. In case of military personnel, for example removi ...
s for the ambulance. Mainwaring concludes the lecture by telling Jones and Walker that the van is being converted to
gas Gas is one of the four fundamental states of matter (the others being solid, liquid, and plasma). A pure gas may be made up of individual atoms (e.g. a noble gas like neon), elemental molecules made from one type of atom (e.g. oxygen), or ...
. Jones and Walker reluctantly travel to the church hall with a giant gas-bag on the roof. Jones' bayonet accidentally punctures the gas supply pipe and Jones becomes light-headed. Walker plugs the hole in the pipe, and Jones tells him to "be like that little Belgian boy". Walker corrects him, realising that he is getting confused between
Manneken Pis ''Manneken Pis'' (; ) is a landmark bronze fountain sculpture in central Brussels, Belgium, depicting a puer mingens; a naked little boy urinating into the fountain's basin. Though its existence is attested as early as the 15th century, it w ...
and
the Little Dutch Boy ''The'' () is a grammatical article in English, denoting persons or things already mentioned, under discussion, implied or otherwise presumed familiar to listeners, readers, or speakers. It is the definite article in English. ''The'' is the ...
. They reach the church hall to find it empty except for Frazer, who tells them that everyone's already at the practice. Frazer decides the gas fire of the Vicar (the Reverend Timothy Farthing) can be used to refill the gas bag. The Vicar interrupts, but Frazer passes it off as filling the Vicar's
gas fire A gas heater is a space heater used to heat a room or outdoor area by burning natural gas, liquefied petroleum gas, propane or butane. Indoor household gas heaters can be broadly categorized in one of two ways: ''flued'' or ''non-flued,'' or '' ...
. The trio arrive at the practice, and they prepare to load an old man on a stretcher into the back of the van, but Jones has left the back door keys at his shop. They attempt to put the old man through the front window of the van, while Jones 'borrows' an irate man's bike to fetch the keys. When he returns, they try to load the old man into the van, but Hodges accidentally gives the signal of "two bangs" before they can fully load him on, and it drives off. After one more unsuccessful attempt, the old man gets up off the stretcher, declaring "I'll walk to the flippin' hospital!"


Cast

* Arthur Lowe as
Captain Mainwaring Captain George Mainwaring () is a fictional Home Guard captain, first portrayed by Arthur Lowe in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. In the 2016 movie he is played by Toby Jones and in the 2019 remake of three missing episodes he is p ...
*
John Le Mesurier John Le Mesurier (, born John Elton Le Mesurier Halliley; 5 April 191215 November 1983) was an English actor. He is perhaps best remembered for his comedic role as Sergeant Arthur Wilson in the BBC television situation c ...
as
Sergeant Wilson Sergeant Arthur Wilson is a fictional Home Guard platoon sergeant and bank chief clerk, first portrayed by John Le Mesurier in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. Background Wilson was born in 1887, and is carefree, cheerful and well ...
*
Clive Dunn Clive Robert Benjamin Dunn (9 January 19206 November 2012) was an English actor. Although he was only 48 and one of the youngest cast members, he was cast in a role many years his senior, as the elderly Lance Corporal Jones in the BBC sitcom ' ...
as
Lance Corporal Jones Lance Corporal Jack Jones is a fictional Home Guard platoon lance corporal and veteran of the British Empire, first portrayed by Clive Dunn in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. His catchphrases are "Don't panic!", "Permission to speak, ...
*
John Laurie John Paton Laurie (25 March 1897 – 23 June 1980) was a Scottish actor. In the course of his career, Laurie performed on the stage and in films as well as television. He is perhaps best remembered for his role in the sitcom '' Dad's Army'' (19 ...
as
Private Frazer Private James Frazer is a fictional Home Guard platoon member and undertaker, first portrayed by John Laurie in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He is noted for his catchphrases "We're doomed!" and "Rubbish!" Personality Frazer was b ...
*
James Beck Stanley James Carroll Beck (21 February 1929 – 6 August 1973) was an English actor who played the role of Private Walker, a cockney spiv, in the BBC sitcom ''Dad's Army'' from the show's beginning in 1968 until his sudden death in 1973. Ea ...
as
Private Walker Private Joe Walker is a fictional black market spiv (or Wholesales Supplier, as he politely puts it) and Home Guard platoon member, first portrayed by actor James Beck in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. In real life, Beck died suddenly ...
*
Arnold Ridley William Arnold Ridley, OBE (7 January 1896 – 12 March 1984) was an English playwright and actor, earlier in his career known for writing the play '' The Ghost Train'' and later in life in the British TV sitcom ''Dad's Army'' (1968–1977) as ...
as
Private Godfrey Private Charles Godfrey MM is a fictional Home Guard platoon member, first portrayed by Arnold Ridley in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. and in the 1971 ''Dad's Army'' film. He is retired and was previously a tailor for the Civil ...
*
Ian Lavender Arthur Ian Lavender (born 16 February 1946) is an English stage, film and television actor. He is best known for his role as Private Pike in the BBC sitcom '' Dad's Army'', and is the last surviving major cast member of the series following t ...
as
Private Pike Private Frank Pike is a fictional Home Guard private and junior bank clerk, first portrayed by actor Ian Lavender in the BBC television sitcom ''Dad's Army''. He was appointed as the platoon's information officer by Captain Mainwaring in The Man ...
* Janet Davies as Mrs. Pike *
Bill Pertwee William Desmond Anthony Pertwee, (21 July 1926 – 27 May 2013) was a British comedy actor. He played the role of Chief ARP Warden Hodges in the sitcom '' Dad's Army''. Early life Pertwee was born in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, on 21 July 192 ...
as ARP Warden Hodges * Frank Williams as Vicar *
Queenie Watts Queenie Watts (born Mary Spenton; 21 July 1923  – 25 January 1980) was an English actress of film and television, as well as an occasional singer.
as Mrs Peters * Pamela Cundell as Mrs Fox * Jean St. Clair as Miss Meadows * Olive Mercer as Mrs Casson *
Nigel Hawthorne Sir Nigel Barnard Hawthorne (5 April 1929 – 26 December 2001) was an English actor. He is most known for his stage acting and his portrayal of Sir Humphrey Appleby, the permanent secretary in the 1980s sitcom '' Yes Minister'' and the Cabi ...
as the Angry Man *
Harold Bennett Harold Frank Bennett (17 November 1898 – 11 September 1981) was an English actor, active in stage, television and film best remembered for being in sitcoms written and produced by David Croft, having played 'Young Mr. Grace' in the 1970s Bri ...
as the Old Man *Dick Haydon as Raymond


Notes

#This is the first episode to be produced in colour. However it was not the first episode to be seen in colour, as colour television on BBC One did not officially launch until Saturday 15 November 1969, which meant the episode "Branded" was the first Dad's Army episode to be transmitted in colour. #This is the first episode to feature the vicar, Reverend Timothy Farthing ( Frank Williams), in person. #This is the first episode to feature Jones's van, which the platoon use in future episodes. #ARP Warden Hodges wants the church hall every Wednesday evening in this episode. #The old man on the stretcher is Mr Bluett, as established in later episodes in a semi-regular role. #The episode could have got confused between
town gas Coal gas is a flammable gaseous fuel made from coal and supplied to the user via a piped distribution system. It is produced when coal is heated strongly in the absence of air. Town gas is a more general term referring to manufactured gaseous ...
and
laughing gas Nitrous oxide (dinitrogen oxide or dinitrogen monoxide), commonly known as laughing gas, nitrous, or nos, is a chemical compound, an oxide of nitrogen with the formula . At room temperature, it is a colourless non-flammable gas, and has ...
, since Jones becomes light-headed when the gas affects him.


Further reading

*


External links

* * {{DEFAULTSORT:Armoured Might of Lance-Corporal Jones, The Dad's Army radio episodes Dad's Army (series 3) episodes 1969 British television episodes