Questioning (sexuality and gender)
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The questioning of one's
sexual orientation Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction (or a combination of these) to persons of the opposite sex or gender, the same sex or gender, or to both sexes or more than one gender. These attractions are generall ...
,
sexual identity Sexual identity is how one thinks of oneself in terms of to whom one is romantically and/or sexually attracted.
''Se ...
,
gender Gender is the range of characteristics pertaining to femininity and masculinity and differentiating between them. Depending on the context, this may include sex-based social structures (i.e. gender roles) and gender identity. Most culture ...
, or all threeWebber, Carlisle K. (2010). ''Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning Teen Literature: A Guide to Reading Interests.'' Libraries Unltd Inc., Bahrampour, Tara (April 4, 2005)
Silence Speaks Volumes About Gay Support.
''
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''
is a process of exploration by people who may be unsure, still exploring, or concerned about applying a social label to themselves for various reasons.Martin, Hillias J.; Murdock, James R. (2007). ''Serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning teens: a how-to-do-it manual for librarians.'' Neal-Schuman Publishers, The letter "Q" is sometimes added to the end of the acronym
LGBT ' is an initialism that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. In use since the 1990s, the initialism, as well as some of its common variants, functions as an umbrella term for sexuality and gender identity. The LGBT term ...
(
lesbian A lesbian is a Homosexuality, homosexual woman.Zimmerman, p. 453. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate n ...
,
gay ''Gay'' is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant 'carefree', 'cheerful', or 'bright and showy'. While scant usage referring to male homosexuality dates to the late 1 ...
,
bisexual Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whic ...
,
transgender A transgender (often abbreviated as trans) person is someone whose gender identity or gender expression does not correspond with their sex assigned at birth. Many transgender people experience dysphoria, which they seek to alleviate through ...
); the "Q" can refer to either
queer ''Queer'' is an umbrella term for people who are not heterosexual or cisgender. Originally meaning or , ''queer'' came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century. Beginning in the l ...
or questioning.Grisham, Lara (June 1, 2015)
What does the Q In LGBTQ stand for?
''
USA Today ''USA Today'' (stylized in all uppercase) is an American daily middle-market newspaper and news broadcasting company. Founded by Al Neuharth on September 15, 1982, the newspaper operates from Gannett's corporate headquarters in Tysons, Virgini ...
''
Petrow, Steven (May 23, 2014)
Civilities: What does the acronym LGBTQ stand for?
''
Washington Post ''The Washington Post'' (also known as the ''Post'' and, informally, ''WaPo'') is an American daily newspaper published in Washington, D.C. It is the most widely circulated newspaper within the Washington metropolitan area and has a large na ...
''
Sexual orientation, sexual identity, or gender does not always coincide with each other; meaning for example, if an individual identifies themselves as a heterosexual, they may not only be attracted to someone of the opposite sex and have sexual interactions with someone who is of the same sex without necessarily identifying themselves as
bisexual Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whic ...
. The understanding that one does not need to apply any type of gender or sexuality label to oneself is relatively publicly and socially prominent in the modern day, along with gender and
sexual fluidity Sexual fluidity is one or more changes in sexuality or sexual identity (sometimes known as sexual orientation identity). Sexual orientation is stable and unchanging for the vast majority of people, but some research indicates that some people may e ...
, which is also more openly discussed and accepted in today's society. Individuals who do not identify themselves as male, female, transgender, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual or feel their sexuality is fluid, may refer to themselves as
gender neutral Gender neutrality (adjective form: gender-neutral), also known as gender-neutralism or the gender neutrality movement, is the idea that policies, language, and other social institutions (social structures or gender roles) should avoid distinguish ...
, genderqueer, non-binary, or agender.


Adolescents and other youths

During the stage of
adolescence Adolescence () is a transitional stage of physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood (typically corresponding to the age of majority). Adolescence is usually associated with the ...
, the notions of questioning one's sexuality or gender, along with the diverse areas related to it, can arise as the construction of identity begins to form. It is a stage where exploration, learning, and experimenting often occur. While some youths have little to no issue in self-identifying, many youths encounter a great deal of confusion and uncertainty at this stage. They may have issues in understanding their sexuality, sexual orientation,
gender identity Gender identity is the personal sense of one's own gender. Gender identity can correlate with a person's assigned sex or can differ from it. In most individuals, the various biological determinants of sex are congruent, and consistent with the ...
, or whether or not they fit into any preconceived social normative labels. Studies have shown that 57% of people first had questioning thoughts on their sexuality or gender between the ages of 11 and 15.


Behaviors and development

According to Sarah Gardner, the ways in which humans behave are based on five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and enjoyment. An individual will shift their behaviors in order to satisfy these needs. In the case of questioning youth, some or all of these needs are not met. When one or more of these needs are not fulfilled, their behaviors may become aggravated, confused or discouraged in trying to satisfy the need to either survive, feel loved or that they belong, achieve freedom, gain power or feel a sense of enjoyment. Gender identity is crucial in the development of young individuals as it is a big part of their personal social identity. The confusion and questioning involved in one's formation of gender identity can be influenced by the need to fit into gender binaries or adhere to social ideals constructed by mainstream society. The
assigned sex Sex assignment (sometimes known as gender assignment) is the discernment of an infant's sex at or before birth. A relative, midwife, nurse or physician inspects the external genitalia when the baby is delivered and, in more than 99.95% of birt ...
of a person at birth, otherwise known as natal sex, is not always interchangeable with the terms ''gender identity'' and ''gender role''. Natal sex and gender identity are, however, different components of identity, and gender identity does not necessarily unfold in the direction of one's natal sex. Gender identity is not the same as gender role; gender identity is a core sense of self, whereas gender role involves the adaptation of socially constructed markers (clothing, mannerism, behaviors) traditionally thought of as
masculine Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. Masculinity can be theoretically understood as socially constructed, and there is also evidence that some behaviors ...
and
feminine Femininity (also called womanliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with women and girls. Femininity can be understood as socially constructed, and there is also some evidence that some behaviors considered fe ...
. Natal sex, gender identity, and gender role interact in complex ways and each of these is also separate from the direction of one's
sexual attraction Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest. Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is an individual's ability to attract other people sexually, and is a factor in sexual selection or ...
. The social constructs of masculinity and femininity may also play a factor in causing confusion for youths; it may impact the way they feel they have to behave if they identify with certain gender identities or sexual orientations. The awareness of sexual orientation strongly contributes to the formulation of gender identity. The two are equally important in contributing to the development of an individual during the adolescent stage. The questioning of a young individual's sexuality or sexual orientation comes into play in a variety of situations; regardless of experience or lack thereof. For example, an individual who generally identifies themselves as homosexual may also have sexual interactions with the opposite sex, but do not necessarily feel that they are bisexual. Furthermore, an individual may also identify with a definitive sexual orientation or gender without having any, or only some sexual interactions or experiences.


Social

The social aspect is a significant factor that can cause questioning youth to feel they have an unsafe environment in establishing their sexuality or gender. The need for social acceptance by their peers and other members of society during adolescence gives the individual the feeling of belonging; therefore, the fear of rejection or discrimination can keep youths from being public with their uncertain identity.
Heteronormativity Heteronormativity is the concept that heterosexuality is the preferred or normal mode of sexual orientation. It assumes the gender binary (i.e., that there are only two distinct, opposite genders) and that sexual and marital relations are most ...
can contribute to the hesitation of youths in being public with their gender identity and sexuality. This can be due to the fact that one may feel they do not fit with the social constructs of heterosexuality, masculinity, or femininity - which are ideals that do not necessarily include the exceptions and differences of other genders and sexualities. Gender acceptance has two main influences: misunderstanding and fear of the unknown. An inner conflict may arise when the individual transitions to another gender. The
social construct Social constructionism is a theory in sociology, social ontology, and communication theory which proposes that certain ideas about physical reality arise from collaborative consensus, instead of pure observation of said reality. The theory ...
of heteronormativity is directly related to gender binary; these two constructs are often conditioned in the mainstream to be more accepted, therefore impacting the acceptance of other genders and sexualities, ones that may not fit into those norms or are fluid between multiple categories. Some youths avoid
coming out Coming out of the closet, often shortened to coming out, is a metaphor used to describe LGBT people's self-disclosure of their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, or gender identity. Framed and debated as a privacy issue, coming out of ...
or even acknowledging their sexual orientation because of
homophobia Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay or bisexual. It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, hatred or antipathy, ...
.Thomas, Suzy R.; Larrabee, Timothy G. (2002). Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning Youth. In Sandoval, Jonathan (Ed.) ''Handbook of crisis counseling, intervention, and prevention in the schools,'' pp. 301 ff. Psychology Press, Acknowledging their
lesbian A lesbian is a Homosexuality, homosexual woman.Zimmerman, p. 453. The word is also used for women in relation to their sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate n ...
,
gay ''Gay'' is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant 'carefree', 'cheerful', or 'bright and showy'. While scant usage referring to male homosexuality dates to the late 1 ...
or
bisexual Bisexuality is a romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one gender. It may also be defined to include romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity, whic ...
identity, or other identity, can bring an end to confusion. With regard to gender identity, terms for those who do not comply to the gender binary system are, for example, ''
genderqueer Non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are not solely male or femaleidentities that are outside the gender binary. Non-binary identities fall under the transgender umbrella, since non-binary people typicall ...
'', ''
agender Non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are not solely male or femaleidentities that are outside the gender binary. Non-binary identities fall under the transgender umbrella, since non-binary people typically ...
'', or ''
gender neutral Gender neutrality (adjective form: gender-neutral), also known as gender-neutralism or the gender neutrality movement, is the idea that policies, language, and other social institutions (social structures or gender roles) should avoid distinguish ...
''. An article in '' The Journal of Counseling & Development'' states, "Sexual minorities experience two types of stigma stress that differ based on the objective and subjective nature of stress. Because of its persistent nature, stigma stress can be characterized as a chronic stressor that sexual minorities face, placing them at higher risk than individuals who are not sexual minorities of developing a ruminative coping style." When an individual feels that none of the existing gender identity terms apply to them, or that they do not fit accurately into any binaries, it may often lead to feelings of pressure, loneliness, abnormality and hopelessness. According to The American Psychological Association, those who struggle with acknowledging their sexuality or gender identity may be at higher risk of experiencing suicidal thoughts, depression, unprotected sex or turning to harmful coping mechanisms such as
drug abuse Substance abuse, also known as drug abuse, is the use of a drug in amounts or by methods which are harmful to the individual or others. It is a form of substance-related disorder. Differing definitions of drug abuse are used in public health, ...
,
alcohol Alcohol most commonly refers to: * Alcohol (chemistry), an organic compound in which a hydroxyl group is bound to a carbon atom * Alcohol (drug), an intoxicant found in alcoholic drinks Alcohol may also refer to: Chemicals * Ethanol, one of sev ...
or
self harm Self-harm is intentional behavior that is considered harmful to oneself. This is most commonly regarded as direct injury of one's own skin tissues usually without a suicidal intention. Other terms such as cutting, self-injury and self-mutilatio ...
.Answers to Your Questions: For a Better Understanding of Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality. Washington DC: American Psychological Association. 2008. pp. 3–4. Retrieved 2015-30-11. Studies show that questioning youth are at higher risk for
victimization Victimisation ( or victimization) is the process of being victimised or becoming a victim. The field that studies the process, rates, incidence, effects, and prevalence of victimisation is called victimology. Peer victimisation Peer victimisati ...
,
suicidal thoughts Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Mental disorders (including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, anxiety disorders), physical disorders (such as chronic fatigue syndrome), and ...
, and drug and alcohol abuse even more so than lesbian, gay and bisexual youth, possibly due to marginalization from straight and LGB peers alike. The Advocates for Youth Organization states that "studies establish links between attempting suicide and gender nonconformity, early awareness of sexual orientation, stress, violence, lack of support, school dropout, family problems, homelessness, and substance use." For questioning adolescent individuals, not only is the acceptance from their peers important to them, the acceptance of their family is also equally as important. However, not all youths receive the support they require from their families during the process of questioning. Ryan C. et al., of
San Francisco State University San Francisco State University (commonly referred to as San Francisco State, SF State and SFSU) is a public research university in San Francisco. As part of the 23-campus California State University system, the university offers 118 different ...
state, " GLBTQ youth with more rejecting families are eight times more likely to report having attempted suicide, nearly six more times as likely to report high levels of depression, more than three times as likely to use illegal drugs, and three times as likely to be at high risk for
HIV The human immunodeficiency viruses (HIV) are two species of ''Lentivirus'' (a subgroup of retrovirus) that infect humans. Over time, they cause acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), a condition in which progressive failure of the immune ...
and
sexually transmitted diseases Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), also referred to as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the older term venereal diseases, are infections that are spread by sexual activity, especially vaginal intercourse, anal sex, and oral ...
than GLBTQ youth with less rejecting families." The social community is a crucial aspect in contributing to the wellness of one's being and mental health. Individuals often feel more positive about their sexual orientation and gender identity through support and positive reinforcement, especially from family, friends, and acquaintances. Adolescents who are questioning and receive support can often live satisfying and healthy lives and move through the usual process of adolescent development; those who face
bullying Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception (by the bully or by others) of an ...
,
ostracism Ostracism ( el, ὀστρακισμός, ''ostrakismos'') was an Athenian democratic procedure in which any citizen could be expelled from the city-state of Athens for ten years. While some instances clearly expressed popular anger at the ci ...
or other forms of oppression are more likely to be at risk of experiencing suicidal thoughts, and to engage in high-risk activities, such as
unprotected sex Safe sex is sexual activity using methods or contraceptive devices (such as condoms) to reduce the risk of transmitting or acquiring sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially HIV. "Safe sex" is also sometimes referred to as safer ...
and alcohol and drug abuse. Questioning youth are at higher risk for
victimization Victimisation ( or victimization) is the process of being victimised or becoming a victim. The field that studies the process, rates, incidence, effects, and prevalence of victimisation is called victimology. Peer victimisation Peer victimisati ...
, suicidal thoughts, and drug and alcohol abuse even more so than lesbian, gay and bisexual youth, possibly due to marginalization from straight and LGB peers alike. A disorder of anxiety or depression related to an uncertainty about one's gender identity or sexual orientation has been classified as sexual maturation disorder by the
World Health Organization The World Health Organization (WHO) is a specialized agency of the United Nations responsible for international public health. The WHO Constitution states its main objective as "the attainment by all peoples of the highest possible level o ...
in the
ICD-10 ICD-10 is the 10th revision of the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD), a medical classification list by the World Health Organization (WHO). It contains codes for diseases, signs and symptoms ...
, under "Psychological and behavioural disorders associated with sexual development and orientation". Sexual orientation by itself is not a disorder and is not classified under this heading. It also differs from ego-dystonic sexual orientation where the sexual orientation or gender identity is repressed or denied.


Support and help

Many LGBT student groups and literature include ''questioning''; in the case of
gay–straight alliance A Gay–Straight Alliance, Gender-Sexuality Alliance (GSA) or Queer–Straight Alliance (QSA) is a student-led or community-based organisation, found in middle schools, high schools, colleges, and universities. These are primarily in the United ...
groups, they do so in part so students are not compelled to label themselves or choose a sexual identity. The pressures, stigmas and fear of discrimination by peers and society, may discourage many to face the problems developed through questioning gender and sexuality. The support of friends and family is important during the stage of adolescence as it is the time where one is developing their identity and experiencing the most change physically and mentally. The LGBTQ community has formed many support groups, help centers and online spaces that can assist youths who seek guidance and provide helpful information in regards to one's questioning of gender and sexuality. It is suggested by psychology practitioners for questioning individuals to seek help through platforms such as therapy, support groups, online community forums, mental health organizations, suicide prevention lifelines and counseling. An example of a national organization dedicated to providing crisis intervention, support and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youths is
The Trevor Project The Trevor Project is an American nonprofit organization founded in 1998. Focused on suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning ( LGBTQ) youth, they offer a toll-free telephone number ...
. They provide services such as Trevor Lifeline, TrevorChat, TrevorText and Trevor Support Centre.


Adults

Because of the fluidity of identity and sexuality, exploration and questioning can also occur in adulthood. Studies have shown that adults spanning from ages 18 to 75 years can identify a shift in their attractions and/or gender-identity throughout their lifetime. In a survey research participated by self-identified transgender and gender-nonconforming adults, 58.2% reported having changed attractions in their lifetime. In a longitudinal study with participants made up of polyamorous and monogamous adults with varying sexual identities and sexual orientation, 34% of participants reported some kind of sexuality shift throughout the experiment and just over 10% of participants shifted between the seven coded sexual identity categories. Being surrounded by a heteronormative and non-queer friendly environment is one factor that can delay or prevent an individual from questioning or exploring their sexual orientation and identity. A study found that the absence of accurate and positive LGBTQ+ information and discussions are strongly associated with higher levels of stress in adults who are in the questioning or exploration process.


Heterosexual women

In comparison to heterosexual-identified men and both sexual minority-identified men and women, heterosexual-identified women, in particular, are more likely to be in an identity development phase called identity foreclosure, a non-explorative state where the individual has yet to question a part of their identity including their sexual orientation or gender. Often resulting in the adoption of the default sexual standard of society, committing to heterosexuality without question. Adrienne Rich writes about how society encourages heterosexuality in all aspects of female livelihood in her essay, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” by not only shaping institutions to provide social and economic benefits for adopting the heterocentric mindset but while also creating barriers to behaviors that challenge the standard, including homosexuality. When looking into events or behaviors that may begin exploration or questioning among young women, a study composed of female college students was able to categorize 5 events that had induced the questioning process within them. Among the five, the most popular experiences revolved around being surrounded by a more positive and open LGBTQ-friendly community, and self-assessments of same-sex behavior. Examples of such self-assessments would involve reflecting on their feelings after kissing a female or comparing that experience to their feelings towards men.


See also

*
Bi-curious Bi-curious is a term for a person, usually someone who is a heterosexual, who is curious or open about engaging in sexual activity with a person whose sex differs from that of their usual sexual partners. The term is sometimes used to describe a ...
*
Kinsey scale The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale, is used in research to describe a person's sexual orientation based on one’s experience or response at a given time. The scale typically ranges from 0, meaning exclusive ...


References


External links


The Monitor
American Psychological Association The American Psychological Association (APA) is the largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United States, with over 133,000 members, including scientists, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students. It ha ...
publication mentions the term
PFLAG Phoenix Quick Guide for Those "Questioning"
{{DEFAULTSORT:Questioning (Sexuality And Gender) Gender identity LGBT terminology Sexual orientation Transgender identities