Power and control in abusive intimate relationships
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Abusive power and control (also controlling behavior and coercive control) is behavior used by an abusive person to gain and/or maintain control over another person. Abusers are commonly motivated by devaluation, personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, or the enjoyment of exercising power and control. The victims of this behavior are often subject to
psychological Psychology is the scientific study of mind and behavior. Psychology includes the study of conscious and unconscious phenomena, including feelings and thoughts. It is an academic discipline of immense scope, crossing the boundaries between t ...
,
physical Physical may refer to: *Physical examination In a physical examination, medical examination, or clinical examination, a medical practitioner examines a patient for any possible medical signs or symptoms of a medical condition. It generally co ...
,
mental Mental may refer to: * of or relating to the mind Films * ''Mental'' (2012 film), an Australian comedy-drama * ''Mental'' (2016 film), a Bangladeshi romantic-action movie * ''Mental'', a 2008 documentary by Kazuhiro Soda * ''Mental'', a 2014 O ...
, sexual, or
financial abuse Finance is the study and discipline of money, currency and capital assets. It is related to, but not synonymous with economics, the study of Production (economics), production, Distribution (economics), distribution, and Consumption (economics) ...
.


Overview

Manipulators and abusers may control their victims with a range of tactics, including, but not limited to, positive reinforcement (such as
praise Praise as a form of social interaction expresses recognition, reassurance or admiration. Praise is expressed verbally as well as by body language (facial expression and gestures). Verbal praise consists of a positive evaluations of another's a ...
,
superficial charm Superficial charm (or insincere charm) refers to the social act of saying or doing things because they are well received by others, rather than what one actually believes or wants to do. It is sometimes referred to as "telling people what they w ...
, flattery,
ingratiation Ingratiating is a psychological technique in which an individual attempts to influence another person by becoming more likeable to their target. This term was coined by social psychologist Edward E. Jones, who further defined ingratiating as "a cla ...
,
love bombing Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle ...
), negative reinforcement (taking away aversive tasks or items), intermittent or partial reinforcement, psychological punishment (such as silent treatment,
threat A threat is a communication of intent to inflict harm or loss on another person. Intimidation is a tactic used between conflicting parties to make the other timid or psychologically insecure for coercion or control. The act of intimidation for co ...
s, intimidation, emotional blackmail, guilt trips) and traumatic tactics (such as verbal abuse or explosive anger). The
vulnerabilities Vulnerability refers to "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally." A window of vulnerability (WOV) is a time frame within which defensive measures are diminished, com ...
of the victim are exploited, with those who are particularly vulnerable being most often selected as targets. Traumatic bonding can occur between abusers and victims as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of
reward Reward may refer to: Places * Reward (Shelltown, Maryland), a historic home in Shelltown Maryland * Reward, California (disambiguation) * Reward-Tilden's Farm, a historic home in Chestertown Maryland Arts, entertainment, and media * "Rewa ...
and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds (that are resistant to change) and a climate of fear. An attempt may be made to normalise, legitimise, rationalise, deny, or minimise the abusive behaviour, or to
blame the victim Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. There is historical and current prejudice against the victims of domestic violence and sex crimes, such as t ...
for it. Based on statistical evidence, certain personality disorders correlate with abusive tendencies of individuals with those specific personality disorders when also compiled with abusive childhoods themselves.


Personality disorders

In the study of abnormal psychology, certain
personality disorders Personality disorders (PD) are a class of mental disorders characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating from those accepted by the individual's culture ...
display characteristics involving the need to gain
compliance Compliance can mean: Healthcare * Compliance (medicine), a patient's (or doctor's) adherence to a recommended course of treatment * Compliance (physiology), the tendency of a hollow organ to resist recoil toward its original dimensions (this is a ...
or control over others: There are many different types of personality disorders and they are often characterized by 3 clusters. Individuals with cluster B personality disorders might be more prone to some negative behaviors related to having power and control over others. Cluster B includes narcissistic, histrionic, borderline, and antisocial personality disorder. * Individuals with
antisocial personality disorder Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD or infrequently APD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of disregard of, or violation of, the rights of others as well as a difficulty sustaining long-term relationships. Lack ...
tend to display a superficial charm that helps to disarm others, giving a good likable first impression. If someone likes another person, they're much more apt to comply with them. Because they lack empathy, they see other people as instruments and pawns. The effects of this lack of empathy essentially gives them a
grandiose In the field of psychology, the term grandiosity refers to an unrealistic sense of superiority, characterized by a sustained view of one's self as better than others, which is expressed by disdainfully criticising them (contempt), overinflating ...
sense of
self-worth Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am loved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) d ...
. Due to their callous and unemotional traits, they are well suited to con and/or manipulate others into complying with their wishes. * Individuals with
borderline personality disorder Borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships, distorted sense of self, and strong ...
tend to display black-and-white thinking and are sensitive to others' attitudes toward them. Being so averse to rejection may give them motivation to gain compliance in order to control perceptions of others. * Individuals with histrionic personality disorder need to be the center of attention; and in turn, draw people in so they may use (and eventually dispose of) their relationship. * Individuals with
narcissistic personality disorder Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, a diminished ability or unwillingness to empathize with other ...
have an inflated self-importance, hypersensitivity to
criticism Criticism is the construction of a judgement about the negative qualities of someone or something. Criticism can range from impromptu comments to a written detailed response. , ''"the act of giving your opinion or judgment about the good or bad q ...
, and a sense of entitlement that compels them to
persuade Persuasion or persuasion arts is an umbrella term for influence. Persuasion can influence a person's beliefs, attitudes, intentions, motivations, or behaviours. Persuasion is studied in many disciplines. Rhetoric studies modes of persuasio ...
others to comply with their requests. To maintain their
self-esteem Self-esteem is confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am loved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) d ...
, and protect their vulnerable
true selves The true self (also known as real self, authentic self, original self and vulnerable self) and the false self (also known as fake self, idealized self, superficial self and pseudo self) are a psychological dualism conceptualized by English psychoa ...
, narcissists need to control the behavior of others – particularly that of their children seen as extensions of themselves.Rappoport, Alan, Ph.
"Co-Narcissism: How We Adapt to Narcissism". ''The Therapist'', 2005
.
* Individuals with sadistic personality disorder derive pleasure from the distress caused by their aggressive, demeaning, and cruel behavior toward others. They have poor ability to control their reactions and become enraged by minor disturbances, with some sadists being more severely abusive. They use a wide range of behaviors to inappropriately control others, ranging from hostile glances,
threat A threat is a communication of intent to inflict harm or loss on another person. Intimidation is a tactic used between conflicting parties to make the other timid or psychologically insecure for coercion or control. The act of intimidation for co ...
s, humiliation,
coercion Coercion () is compelling a party to act in an involuntary manner by the use of threats, including threats to use force against a party. It involves a set of forceful actions which violate the free will of an individual in order to induce a desi ...
, and restricting the
autonomy In developmental psychology and moral, political, and bioethical philosophy, autonomy, from , ''autonomos'', from αὐτο- ''auto-'' "self" and νόμος ''nomos'', "law", hence when combined understood to mean "one who gives oneself one's ...
of others. Often the purpose of their behavior is to control and intimidate others.Adrian Raine; José Sanmartin The sadistic individuals are likely rigid in their beliefs, intolerant of other races or other "
out-group Outgroup may refer to: * Outgroup (cladistics), an evolutionary-history concept * Outgroup (sociology) In sociology and social psychology, an in-group is a social group to which a person psychologically identifies as being a member. By contras ...
s",
authoritarian Authoritarianism is a political system characterized by the rejection of political plurality, the use of strong central power to preserve the political ''status quo'', and reductions in the rule of law, separation of powers, and democratic votin ...
, and
malevolent Malevolence may refer to: * Evil * Hostility * Malice (law) * Sadism, the experience of feeling pleasure from the pain of others. Other uses * Malevolence (band), an English hardcore punk band from Sheffield * ''Malevolence'' (film), a 2003 fil ...
. They may seek positions in which they are able to exert power over others, such as a
judge A judge is a person who presides over court proceedings, either alone or as a part of a panel of judges. A judge hears all the witnesses and any other evidence presented by the barristers or solicitors of the case, assesses the credibility an ...
, army
sergeant Sergeant (abbreviated to Sgt. and capitalized when used as a named person's title) is a rank in many uniformed organizations, principally military and policing forces. The alternative spelling, ''serjeant'', is used in The Rifles and other uni ...
, or
psychiatrist A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in psychiatry, the branch of medicine devoted to the diagnosis, prevention, study, and treatment of mental disorders. Psychiatrists are physicians and evaluate patients to determine whether their sy ...
who misuse their positions of power to control or brutalize others. For instance, a psychiatrist may institutionalize a patient by misusing mental health legislation.


Law

In England and Wales, Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 created a criminal offence for controlling or coercive behavior in an intimate or family relationship. For the purposes of this offence, behaviour must be engaged in "repeatedly" or "continuously". Another, separate, element of the offence is that it must have a "serious effect" on someone and one way of proving this is that it causes someone to fear, on at least two occasions, that violence will be used against them. There is no specific requirement in the Act that the activity should be of the same nature. The prosecution should be able to show that there was intent to control or coerce someone. For relevant behaviour, it has been criminalised in section 77 of the Serious Crime Act 2015. In 2018,
Jordan Worth Alexander Gerald Skeel (born 17 August 1994) is an English football coach and domestic violence survivor whose near-fatal abuse at the hands of his girlfriend, Jordan Worth (born 1995), attracted widespread media coverage owing to the extreme natu ...
became the first woman to be convicted under this new law. In 2019, Ireland enacted the Domestic Violence Act 2018, which allowed for the practice of coercive control to be identifiable based upon its effects on the victim. In 2019, the UK government made teaching about what coercive control was a mandatory part of the education syllabus on relationships. In the United States, to assist in preventing and stopping domestic violence with children, there have been laws put into place to mandate report in specific professions, such as teacher, doctor, or care provider, any suspected abuse happening in the home.


See also


References


External links

* Sarah Strudwick (Nov 16, 2010
Dark Souls – Mind Games, Manipulation and Gaslighting
{{Domestic violence Power (social and political) concepts Control (social and political) Abuse Narcissism Psychological abuse Psychological manipulation Domestic violence Intimate relationships