Never the Twain
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''Never the Twain'' is a British
sitcom A sitcom, a portmanteau of situation comedy, or situational comedy, is a genre of comedy centered on a fixed set of characters who mostly carry over from episode to episode. Sitcoms can be contrasted with sketch comedy, where a troupe may use ne ...
that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by
Johnnie Mortimer John Mortimer (2 July 1931 – 2 September 1992) professionally Johnnie Mortimer, was a British scriptwriter for British TV whose work, along with creative writing partner Brian Cooke, also served as inspiration for American television pro ...
, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner,
Brian Cooke Brian Cooke (born 1937) is a British comedy writer who, along with co-writer Johnnie Mortimer, wrote scripts for and devised many of the top television sitcoms during the 1970s, including ''Man About the House'', ''George and Mildred'', and '' ...
. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series, one episode of the seventh, and five out of six episodes of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by John Kane and
Vince Powell Vincent Joseph Powell (6 August 1928 – 13 July 2009) was a British television scriptwriter. He collaborated with a writing partner, Harry Driver, until 1973. Early life Powell was born as Vincent Joseph Smith to Roman Catholic parents in Mi ...
(who wrote the whole of the last three series). The series starred
Windsor Davies Windsor Davies (28 August 1930 – 17 January 2019) was a British actor. He is best remembered for playing Battery Sergeant Major Williams in the sitcom ''It Ain't Half Hot Mum'' (1974–1981) over its entire run. The show's popularity resulted ...
(previously known for '' It Ain't Half Hot, Mum'') and
Donald Sinden Sir Donald Alfred Sinden (9 October 1923 – 12 September 2014) was a British actor. Sinden featured in the film ''Mogambo'' (1953), and achieved early fame as a Rank Organisation film star in the 1950s in films including ''The Cruel Sea (195 ...
as rival antique dealers, and also co-starred
Robin Kermode Robin William Kermode (born 9 July 1958), is an English actor, author and communications coach. He is best known for his role in ''Never the Twain'', ''Ffizz'', ''The Ruth Rendell Mysteries'', ''The Iron Lady (film), Iron Lady'', ''Wilde (film), ...
(later replaced by Christopher Morris),
Julia Watson Julia Watson (born 13 September 1953) is a British actress known for playing Barbara 'Baz' Wilder in the BBC medical drama ''Casualty'' in 1986, 1995–98 and again from 2003 to 2004. Personal life Julia Watson was born on 13 September 1953 in ...
(later replaced by Tacy Kneale),
Honor Blackman Honor Blackman (22 August 1925 – 5 April 2020) was an English actress, known for the roles of Cathy Gale in '' The Avengers''Aaker, Everett (2006). ''Encyclopedia of Early Television Crime Fighters''. McFarland & Company, Inc. . P. 58. (1962â ...
, Teddy Turner,
Derek Deadman Derek Deadman (11 March 1940 – 22 November 2014) was an English character actor who appeared in numerous British films and television series for 38 years. Family Born in Fulham, Derek Deadman was one of the three sons of George and Edith Dead ...
,
Maria Charles Maria Charles (born 22 September 1929) is an English film, television and stage actress, director and comedian. She is probably best known for her TV performance as the overbearing mother Bea Fisher in the ITV sitcom ''Agony''. Charles has also ...
and
Zara Nutley Zara Nutley (born Zahrah Mary Chassib Jaber, 19 August 1924 – 9 October 2016), was an English actress. She is best known for her roles in two television comedy series, ''Mind Your Language'' (as college principal Miss Courtney) and ''Neve ...
. It was made by
Thames Television Thames Television, commonly simplified to just Thames, was a Broadcast license, franchise holder for a region of the British ITV (TV network), ITV television network serving Greater London, London and surrounding areas from 30 July 1968 until th ...
for the
ITV ITV or iTV may refer to: ITV *Independent Television (ITV), a British television network, consisting of: ** ITV (TV network), a free-to-air national commercial television network covering the United Kingdom, the Isle of Man, and the Channel Islan ...
network. Since its run ended, it has been repeated a few times, including on
UK Gold Gold is a British pay television channel from the UKTV network that was launched in late 1992 as UK Gold before it was rebranded UKTV Gold in 2004. In 2008, it was split into current flagship channel Gold and miscellaneous channel, W, with clas ...
, later on
ITV3 ITV3 is a British free-to-air television channel owned by ITV Digital Channels, a division of ITV plc. The channel was first launched on Monday 1 November 2004 at 9pm, replacing Plus (Granada). ITV3 is the sixth-largest UK television channel by ...
, and more recently on
Forces TV The British Forces Broadcasting Service (BFBS) provides radio and television programmes for His Majesty's Armed Forces, and their dependents worldwide. Editorial control is independent of the Ministry of Defence and the armed forces themselve ...
. The title is taken from the
Rudyard Kipling Joseph Rudyard Kipling ( ; 30 December 1865 – 18 January 1936)''The Times'', (London) 18 January 1936, p. 12. was an English novelist, short-story writer, poet, and journalist. He was born in British India, which inspired much of his work. ...
poem ''
The Ballad of East and West "The Ballad of East and West" is a poem by Rudyard Kipling. It was first published in 1889, and has been much collected and anthologized since. The poem Kamal, a tribal chieftain in the North-West Frontier of the British Raj, steals a British ...
''. The show's theme tune was composed by
Jack Trombey Jan Stoeckart (3 November 1927 – 13 January 2017) was a Dutch composer, conductor, trombonist and former radio producer, who often worked under various pseudonyms such as Willy Faust, Peter Milray, Julius Steffaro and Jack Trombey. In the UK ...
and the track was entitled ''Domino''.


Plot

Oliver Smallbridge, played by Windsor Davies, and Simon Peel, played by Donald Sinden, are antiques dealers who are also bitter enemies (after a falling-out having been business partners) and next-door neighbours, both in their homes and shops. They are engaged in a continuous game of one-upmanship, so both of them are shocked when they find out that their respective children (Smallbridge's daughter Lyn – played by Watson and later Kneale – and Peel's son David – played by Kermode and later Morris) are in love and want to marry as soon as possible. The fathers are forced to reluctantly accept the relationship and marriage, which takes place at the end of the first series. It is the impending marriage of Lyn and David and the early days of their marriage, alongside Oliver and Simon battling over the affection of middle-class widow Veronica Barton (played by Blackman), that provides the basis for the first two series (both written entirely by Mortimer). The third series features a failed attempt by Simon and Oliver to try to renew their business partnership. After the third series, Lyn and David move to
Vancouver Vancouver ( ) is a major city in western Canada, located in the Lower Mainland region of British Columbia. As the List of cities in British Columbia, most populous city in the province, the 2021 Canadian census recorded 662,248 people in the ...
in Canada, leaving the daily goings on at Simon and Oliver's shops and in their private lives as the main themes of the show. Other notable characters in the series are Simon's butler Banks (played by Turner), a replacement for a foreign
au pair An au pair (; plural: au pairs) is a helper from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family's responsibility for childcare as well as some housework, and receive a monet ...
that Simon had requested; Ringo (played by Deadman), Oliver's idiotic assistant in his shop; and Mrs. Sadler (played by Charles), Oliver's clumsy cleaner, who has an annoying tendency to accidentally break things. Banks and Mrs. Sadler's amorous relationship provides humorous material in these series, with both of them marrying and leaving the show at the end of the seventh series. The fourth to seventh series were written by a group of writers, Powell and '' Me and My Girl'' co-creator Kane being the most prominent. In the eighth series (mostly written again by Mortimer), Lyn and David return from Canada with their son (and Oliver's and Simon's grandson) Martin, who provides a new platform on which Simon and Oliver can develop their long-standing rivalry, fighting over who is the better grandfather. However, at the end of that series, Lyn, David and Martin move to a new flat in
Friern Barnet Friern Barnet is a suburban area within the London Borough of Barnet, north of Charing Cross. Its centre is formed by the busy intersection of Colney Hatch Lane (running north and south), Woodhouse Road (taking westbound traffic towards North Fi ...
. Simon and Oliver's daily personal and business lives are the primary focus of the final three series (all written in their entirety by Powell). In these series, another character (who had already made two appearances in series 4 and 7) begins to appear regularly: Simon's Aunt Eleanor (played by Nutley, who had also appeared in Vince Powell's earlier sitcom ''
Mind Your Language ''Mind Your Language'' is a British sitcom that premiered on ITV in 1977. It was produced by London Weekend Television and directed by Stuart Allen. Three series were made by the London Weekend Television between 1977 and 1979 and briefly reviv ...
''), moves near Oliver and Simon. Also, appearing in some episodes of the series were Donald Sinden's sons
Marc Marc or MARC may refer to: People * Marc (given name), people with the first name * Marc (surname), people with the family name Acronyms * MARC standards, a data format used for library cataloging, * MARC Train, a regional commuter rail system o ...
and Jeremy, while his wife Diana appeared in the last ever episode.


Episodes


Home releases

The complete first series was released on DVD in June 2001 by Clear Vision and no other series were released. It was announced that a different company would release a DVD featuring the first two series, it was released in September 2010. An 11-disc complete series set, through Network, was released on 21 October 2019. In Australia (Region 4), Via Vision Entertainment release The Complete Series in a 11-Disc box set on January 6, 2021.


Locations

The outside filming location for the two antique shops in the early series was a double-fronted restaurant on The Green in the village of
Claygate Claygate is an affluent suburban village in Surrey, England, southwest of central London. It is the only civil parish in the borough of Elmbridge. Surrounded by green belt, it lies inside the Greater London Built-up Area. Claygate was once in t ...
in Surrey, just six miles to the south of Thames Television’s
Teddington Studios Teddington Studios was a large British television studio in Teddington, London Borough of Richmond upon Thames, providing studio facilities for programmes airing on the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Channel 5, Sky1 and others. The complex also provide ...
. They then used some shops at 10-12 Queen's Road, Hersham, Surrey. The churches used for the weddings were St Andrew's Church, Ham, Surrey and St Andrew's Church, Cobham, Surrey. The houses used in the early series were on Burtenshaw Road, Thames Ditton, Surrey. One of these has since been demolished and another house built on the plot. Later houses on Brook Farm Road and Oak Road, Cobham were used.


Repeats

Beginning in early 2006,
ITV3 ITV3 is a British free-to-air television channel owned by ITV Digital Channels, a division of ITV plc. The channel was first launched on Monday 1 November 2004 at 9pm, replacing Plus (Granada). ITV3 is the sixth-largest UK television channel by ...
began showing repeats beginning with series one in a late afternoon timeslot with other classic ITV comedy series such as ''
Rising Damp Structural dampness is the presence of unwanted moisture in the structure of a building, either the result of intrusion from outside or condensation from within the structure. A high proportion of damp problems in buildings are caused by ambient ...
'' and ''
On the Buses ''On the Buses'' is a British television British sitcom, sitcom that was broadcast on ITV (TV network), ITV from 1969 to 1973. It was created by Chesney and Wolfe, Ronald Chesney and Ronald Wolfe, who wrote most of the episodes. It spawned thr ...
''. From late January 2019, coincidentally a short time after the announcement of Windsor Davies's death,
Forces TV The British Forces Broadcasting Service (BFBS) provides radio and television programmes for His Majesty's Armed Forces, and their dependents worldwide. Editorial control is independent of the Ministry of Defence and the armed forces themselve ...
started broadcasting the show as double bills from the very start.


Interviews


The Bill Podcast: Jon Iles
(2017)


References


External links

* * * {{Vince Powell 1980s British sitcoms 1990s British sitcoms 1981 British television series debuts 1991 British television series endings English-language television shows ITV sitcoms Television series by Fremantle (company) Television shows produced by Thames Television Television shows set in Surrey Fictional rivalries Television shows shot at Teddington Studios