Mary Jo Buttafuoco
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Mary Jo Buttafuoco (née Connery; born May 15, 1955) is an American author and motivational speaker. In 1992, she was shot in the face by
Amy Fisher Amy Elizabeth Fisher (born August 21, 1974) is an American woman who became known in the media as "the Long Island Lolita" in 1992, when, at the age of 17, she shot and severely wounded Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of Joey Buttafuoco, with whom ...
, a teenager against whom her husband had committed statutory rape.


Shooting

On May 19, 1992, Buttafuoco was shot in the face by Amy Fisher, who at the time was having an affair with Buttafuoco's then husband Joey. Fisher had come to the Buttafuocos' house to confront Buttafuoco about Joey, with whom she had been having an affair since July 1991 after Fisher brought her vehicle to Buttafuoco's
auto body shop An automobile repair shop (also known regionally as a garage or a workshop) is an establishment where automobiles are repaired by auto mechanics and technicians. Types Automotive garages and repair shops can be divided into following categori ...
in
Baldwin, Nassau County, New York Baldwin is a hamlet and census-designated place (CDP) located in the Town of Hempstead in Nassau County, on Long Island, in New York, United States. The population was 33,919 at the time of the 2020 census. History Original inhabitants of the ...
. When Buttafuoco answered the door, Fisher—posing as her own (fictitious) sister Ann Marie—offered, as proof of the affair, a T-shirt that Joey had given her with the logo of his auto body shop on it. This confrontation escalated when Buttafuoco demanded that Fisher leave. She turned to go into the house and call Joey when Fisher shot her in the face with a .25 caliber semiautomatic pistol. Once Buttafuoco regained consciousness, she identified Fisher as her assailant from the t-shirt Fisher had shown her before the shooting. Buttafuoco was left deafened in one ear and her face partially
paralyzed Paralysis (also known as plegia) is a loss of motor function in one or more muscles. Paralysis can also be accompanied by a loss of feeling (sensory loss) in the affected area if there is sensory damage. In the United States, roughly 1 in 5 ...
.


Aftermath

Fisher was sentenced to five to 15 years in prison. She served seven years and was granted parole in May 1999. Joey Buttafuoco pleaded guilty to one count of
statutory rape In common law jurisdictions, statutory rape is nonforcible sexual activity in which one of the individuals is below the age of consent (the age required to legally consent to the behavior). Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sexual ...
and served four months in jail. Buttafuoco and her husband later moved to
Southern California Southern California (commonly shortened to SoCal) is a geographic and cultural region that generally comprises the southern portion of the U.S. state of California. It includes the Los Angeles metropolitan area, the second most populous urban a ...
. She stayed defensively loyal to her husband for several years. She even defended him when he was arrested in 1995 for sexual solicitation in
Los Angeles Los Angeles ( ; es, Los Ángeles, link=no , ), often referred to by its initials L.A., is the List of municipalities in California, largest city in the U.S. state, state of California and the List of United States cities by population, sec ...
. During this time, Buttafuoco consistently blamed others, such as Fisher, instead of her husband. She eventually filed divorce papers in
Ventura County Ventura County () is a County (United States), county in Southern California, the southern part of the U.S. state of California. As of the 2020 United States Census, 2020 census, the population was 843,843. The largest city is Oxnard, California ...
Superior Court on February 3, 2003. In 2006, Buttafuoco underwent a facial reanimation procedure with facial plastic surgeon
Babak Azizzadeh Babak Azizzadeh, MD, FACS is the founder and president of the FPBPF (Facial Paralysis & Bells Palsy Foundation), a non-profit organization committed to the treatment of individuals with facial nerve paralysis and Bell's palsy. Dr. Azizzadeh is ...
, involving static facial suspension, face lift, and eye lift procedures. These surgeries restored balance and gave her back her ability to smile. Next was surgery to widen the ear canal, which improved her hearing and prevented future infections. She also underwent physical therapy to strengthen her facial muscles, which she explained in an appearance on ''
The Oprah Winfrey Show ''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', often referred to as ''The Oprah Show'' or simply ''Oprah'', is an American daytime syndicated talk show that aired nationally for 25 seasons from September 8, 1986, to May 25, 2011, in Chicago, Illinois. Produced ...
''. Buttafuoco is still paralyzed on one side of her face and deaf in one ear.


Career

Sixteen years after the incident, Buttafuoco wrote a book telling her story, ''Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know''. She was inspired to write the book after her son referred to her ex-husband as a
sociopath Psychopathy, sometimes considered synonymous with sociopathy, is characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits. Different conceptions of psychopathy have been u ...
. Not knowing what the word meant, she looked it up and had a realization which led to her going public with her story. The title of the book comes from a saying her mother often used with her, "when are you going to get it through your thick skull?" The memoir describes her life, not just focusing on her shooting. She describes how she felt manipulated to stay with a person who was a sociopath. ''
Booklist ''Booklist'' is a publication of the American Library Association that provides critical reviews of books and audiovisual materials for all ages. ''Booklist''s primary audience consists of libraries, educators, and booksellers. The magazine is av ...
'' called the book, which was published in July 2009, "strangely compelling," and said that "Readers will want to know – why ''did'' she stay with him?" Buttafuoco has used her story to raise awareness of facial paralysis.


Personal life

Buttafuoco has two children: Paul Buttafuoco and Jessica Buttafuoco. In 2012, Buttafuoco married Stu Tendler in
Las Vegas Las Vegas (; Spanish for "The Meadows"), often known simply as Vegas, is the 25th-most populous city in the United States, the most populous city in the state of Nevada, and the county seat of Clark County. The city anchors the Las Vegas ...
. Tendler died from cancer in 2018.


References


External links

*
Mary Jo Buttafuoco's memoir

Mary Jo Buttafuoco's appearance
on ''
The Oprah Winfrey Show ''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', often referred to as ''The Oprah Show'' or simply ''Oprah'', is an American daytime syndicated talk show that aired nationally for 25 seasons from September 8, 1986, to May 25, 2011, in Chicago, Illinois. Produced ...
'' {{DEFAULTSORT:Buttafuoco, Mary Jo 1955 births 21st-century American writers 21st-century American women writers American shooting survivors American victims of crime Living people Writers from New York (state) Women shooting survivors