John Gray (U.S. author)
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John Gray (born December 28, 1951) is an American relationship counselor, lecturer and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book '' Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'', which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of all his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.


Early life and education

Gray was born in
Houston Houston (; ) is the most populous city in Texas, the most populous city in the Southern United States, the fourth-most populous city in the United States, and the sixth-most populous city in North America, with a population of 2,304,580 i ...
, Texas, in 1951 to a father who was an oil executive and a mother who worked at a spiritual bookshop, and grew up with five brothers. His parents were both
Christians Christians () are people who follow or adhere to Christianity, a monotheistic Abrahamic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The words '' Christ'' and ''Christian'' derive from the Koine Greek title ''Christós'' (Χρ ...
and taught him
Yoga Yoga (; sa, योग, lit=yoke' or 'union ) is a group of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines which originated in ancient India and aim to control (yoke) and still the mind, recognizing a detached witness-consci ...
and took him to visit Indian Saint
Yogananda Paramahansa Yogananda (born Mukunda Lal Ghosh; January 5, 1893March 7, 1952) was an Indian Hindu monk, yogi and guru who introduced millions to the teachings of meditation and Kriya Yoga through his organization Self-Realization Fellowsh ...
during his childhood. '' The Autobiography of A Yogi'' inspired him greatly later in life. He received a bachelor's and master's degree in the
Science of Creative Intelligence Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a form of silent mantra meditation advocated by the Transcendental Meditation movement. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi created the technique in India in the mid-1950s. Advocates of TM claim that the technique promotes a ...
, though sources vary on whether these degrees were received from either the non-accredited
Maharishi European Research University Transcendental Meditation in education (also known as Consciousness-Based Education) is the application of the Transcendental Meditation technique in an educational setting or institution. These educational programs and institutions have been found ...
(MERU) in Switzerland or the accredited
Maharishi International University Maharishi International University (MIU), formerly Maharishi University of Management, is a private university in Fairfield, Iowa. It was founded in 1973 by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and features a "consciousness-based education" system that include ...
in
Fairfield, Iowa Fairfield is a city in, and the county seat of, Jefferson County, Iowa. It has a population of 9,416 people, according to the 2020 census. The median family income is $46,138, with 10% of families below the poverty line. The city is typical ...
. Gray received an unaccredited (but state-approved) PhD in 1982 from Columbia Pacific University (CPU), a now-defunct institution located in
San Rafael, California San Rafael ( ; Spanish for " St. Raphael", ) is a city and the county seat of Marin County, California, United States. The city is located in the North Bay region of the San Francisco Bay Area. As of the 2020 U.S. census, the city's populatio ...
, upon completion of a
correspondence course Distance education, also known as distance learning, is the education of students who may not always be physically present at a school, or where the learner and the teacher are separated in both time and distance. Traditionally, this usually in ...
and an honorary doctorate from
Governors State University Governors State University (Governors State or GOVST) is a public university in University Park, Illinois. The campus is located south of Chicago, Illinois. GSU was founded in 1969. It is a public university offering degree programs at the und ...
in Illinois after he delivered their commencement address in 2002.


Career

In 1969, Gray attended a
Transcendental Meditation Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a form of silent mantra meditation advocated by the Transcendental Meditation movement. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi created the technique in India in the mid-1950s. Advocates of TM claim that the technique promotes ...
lecture, later becoming a celibate and personal assistant to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for nine years.The chronology of American literature: America's literary achievements, By Daniel S. Burt, page 696, New England Publishing Associates 2004, Gray writes a USA-syndicated column with 30 million readers that appears in ''
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ''The Atlanta Journal-Constitution'' is the only major daily newspaper in the metropolitan area of Atlanta, Georgia. It is the flagship publication of Cox Enterprises. The ''Atlanta Journal-Constitution'' is the result of the merger between ...
, New York Daily News,
New York Newsday ''New York Newsday'' was an American daily newspaper that primarily served New York City and was sold throughout the New York metropolitan area. The paper, established in 1985, was a New York City-specific offshoot of '' Newsday'', a Long Island ...
,
The Denver Post ''The Denver Post'' is a daily newspaper and website published in Denver, Colorado. As of June 2022, it has an average print circulation of 57,265. In 2016, its website received roughly six million monthly unique visitors generating more than 13 ...
,'' and the '' San Antonio Express-News.'' Internationally, Gray's columns have appeared in publications in England, Canada, Mexico, Korea, Latin American and the South Pacific. Gray is a family therapist and a member of the
American Counseling Association The American Counseling Association (ACA) is a membership organization representing licensed professional counselors (LPCs), counseling students, and other counseling professionals in the United States. It is the world's largest association exclus ...
and the
International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors The American Counseling Association (ACA) is a membership organization representing licensed professional counselors (LPCs), counseling students, and other counseling professionals in the United States. It is the world's largest association exclus ...
.


Publication

In 1992, Gray published his book, ''Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'', which has sold more than 15 million copies and, according to a
CNN CNN (Cable News Network) is a multinational cable news channel headquartered in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S. Founded in 1980 by American media proprietor Ted Turner and Reese Schonfeld as a 24-hour cable news channel, and presently owned by ...
report, it was the "highest ranked work of non-fiction" of the 1990s. The book became a "popular paradigm" for problems in relationships based on the different tendencies in each gender and led to infomercials, audiotapes and videotapes, a CD-ROM (the first from HarperReference), weekend seminars, theme vacations, a one-man Broadway show, a TV sitcom plus a movie contract with
20th Century Fox 20th Century Studios, Inc. (previously known as 20th Century Fox) is an American film production company headquartered at the Fox Studio Lot in the Century City area of Los Angeles. As of 2019, it serves as a film production arm of Walt Dis ...
. The book has been published in 40 languages and has earned Gray almost $18 million.


Other ventures

In 1996, Gray and Maia and Bart Berens co-founded Mars Venus Institute. Bart Berens was president and Maia Berens was director. In 1997, Gray began opening Mars & Venus Counseling Centers, where he trains therapists in his "Mars & Venus technique" in exchange for a one-time licensing fee and monthly "royalty payments".
Dorothy Cantor Dorothy Cantor is an American psychologist and a former president of the American Psychological Association. Biography In 1976, Cantor graduated from Rutgers University Rutgers University (; RU), officially Rutgers, The State University of N ...
, a former president of the
American Psychological Association The American Psychological Association (APA) is the largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United States, with over 133,000 members, including scientists, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students. It ha ...
, has questioned the ethics of creating a franchise for what is essentially a therapeutic process. In 1997, Gray began marketing his products through Genesis Intermedia, a company led by Ramy El-Batrawi. According to their SEC filing, "A substantial portion of our product revenue has come from our Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus product series authored by John Gray, Ph.D." On December 31, 1997, Genesis sold 116,504 shares of its common stock to Dr. John Gray for $900,000. On November 1, 1998, 29,126 of those shares were surrendered. Royalties paid to Dr. Gray for the years ended December 31, 1998, 1997 and 1996 were $0, $50,101, and $423,207, respectively. There were no royalties paid to Dr. Gray during the three months ended March 31, 1999 and 1998. in 2004, a massive class action lawsuit was filed against Genesis Intermedia for stock price manipulation. El-Batrawi settled with the SEC and was barred from acting as an officer or director of a public company for a period of five years. Gray has been marketing dietary supplements through his Web site since at least 2005. In 2019, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration ordered him to stop making illegal claims for several products: 2-AEP Membrane Complex, Ionic Silver Water, L-Glutathione, Liposomal DHA – Ultimate Omega-3 Brain Support, Liposomal Methyl B12/Folate, NAC N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, and Vectomega. Gray is also an early investor in YayYo, Inc, a rental car business for the ride-sharing industry operated by Ramy El-Batrawi. Gray owns 21.44% through his Gray Mars Venus Trust.


Interviews and appearances

Gray has made numerous media appearances including ''
Oprah Oprah Gail Winfrey (; born Orpah Gail Winfrey; January 29, 1954), or simply Oprah, is an American talk show host, television producer, actress, author, and philanthropist. She is best known for her talk show, ''The Oprah Winfrey Show'', b ...
'', ''
The Phil Donahue Show ''The Phil Donahue Show'', also known as ''Donahue'', is an American television talk show hosted by Phil Donahue that ran for 26 years on national television. Its run was preceded by three years of local broadcast on WLWD in Dayton, Ohio, and i ...
'', and ''
Larry King Live ''Larry King Live'' was an American television talk show hosted by Larry King on CNN from 1985 to 2010. It was the channel's most watched and longest-running program, with over one million viewers nightly. Mainly aired from CNN's Los Angeles ...
.'' Gray has been profiled in ''
Newsweek ''Newsweek'' is an American weekly online news magazine co-owned 50 percent each by Dev Pragad, its president and CEO, and Johnathan Davis, who has no operational role at ''Newsweek''. Founded as a weekly print magazine in 1933, it was widely ...
, People'' and ''
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'' magazine. In a June 2014 interview with Agence France-Presse, Gray was quoted as saying with regard to
feminism Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that society prioritizes the male po ...
, "The reason why there's so much divorce is that feminism promotes independence in women. I'm very happy for women to find greater independence, but when you go too far in that direction, then who's at home?" He also stated that "feminism in America holds back sales of isbooks", while other parts of the world - he cited Australia and Latin America notably - are more in tune with his basic message. With regard to
online pornography Internet pornography is any pornography that is accessible over the internet, primarily via websites, FTP servers peer-to-peer file sharing, or Usenet newsgroups. The availability of widespread public access to the World Wide Web in late 1990s ...
Gray stated, "With free internet porn, there's a massive addiction happening," adding that there are "just millions and millions of people... experiencing their sexual satisfactions through total fantasy. The effect that porn has on the brain is like taking heroin." With regard to the rise of infidelity sites like
Ashley Madison Ashley Madison, or The Ashley Madison Agency, is a Canadian online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are married or in relationships. The site has been widely condemned for being a "business built on the back of ...
and Arrangement Finders he states, "When you have impersonal sex.... 'It's OK, here are these cheating wives, men, they want to have sex with you'... So you go have sex with someone that you don't know and someone you don't love... impersonal sex does promote addiction to sex," he adds, "it's along the same line of pornography."


Criticism

In 2002, author Julia T. Wood published a critical response to Gray's portrayals of men and women in his book ''Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus''. In 2007 Deborah Cameron published a book-length critique of Gray and other self-help ventures premised on gender difference stereotypes in '' The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages?'' Gray was accused of borrowing from the work of author
Deborah Tannen Deborah Frances Tannen (born June 7, 1945) is an American author and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. Best known as the author of ''You Just Don't Understand'', she has been a McGraw Distinguished Lecturer at ...
and he acknowledges some similarities but says, "I was teaching those ideas before I'd heard of her" and that he did not read her book. Other critics have accused Gray of limiting human psychology to
stereotypes In social psychology, a stereotype is a generalized belief about a particular category of people. It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a particular group. The type of expectation can vary; it can be, for example ...
.


Personal life

Gray married self-help author
Barbara De Angelis Barbara De Angelis (born March 4, 1951) is an American relationship consultant, lecturer and author, TV personality, relationship, personal growth adviser and spiritual teacher. Biography De Angelis received a Ph.D. in psychology from Columbia P ...
and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986; she died of cancer in 2018. Gray has a daughter and two stepdaughters. His youngest daughter Lauren markets the Mars Venus brand through her own videos on self-help relationship advice.


Books and other publications

* 1992: '' Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'' * 1993: ''What You Feel You Can Heal'' * 1994: ''What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know'' * 1994: ''Mars and Venus in Love'' * 1995: '' Mars and Venus in the Bedroom'' * 1997: ''Mars and Venus on a Date'' * 1997: ''Mars and Venus Starting Over'' * 1999: ''How To Get What You Want and Want What You Have'' * 2000: ''Children Are from Heaven'' * 2000: ''Mars and Venus: 365 Ways to Keep Passion Alive'' * ''Men, Women and Relationships'' * ''Mars and Venus Together Forever: A Practical Guide to Creating Lasting Intimacy'' * ''Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Book of Days'' * ''Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus: Nine Principles for Lasting Love, Increasing Success, and Vibrant Health in the Twenty-first Century'' * 2002: ''Mars and Venus in the Workplace'', * ''Truly Mars & Venus'' * 2003: ''The Mars & Venus Diet & Exercise Solution'' * 2007: ''Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress'' * 2010: ''Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice – Hormonal Balance – The Key to Life, Love, and Energy'' * ''75 Ways To Say I Love You'' (co-author Darren Stephens), * ''How To Release Stress Through Relaxation'' (co-author Darren Stephens), * ''Work with Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business'' (co-author Barbara Annis), * 2017: ''Beyond Mars and Venus''


See also

* Essentialism * ''Symposium'' (Plato)#Aristophanes


References


Further reading

* * * * * *


External links


John Gray's Bio
at official website
John Gray, Columbia Pacific University, alumni recognition

Summary of ''Children Are from Heaven''
* {{DEFAULTSORT:Gray, John 1951 births American self-help writers Living people Writers from Houston Popular psychology Writers from Texas Columbia Pacific University alumni Relationship education Male critics of feminism