self-help Self-help or self-improvement is a self-guided improvement''APA Dictionary of Physicology'', 1st ed., Gary R. VandenBos, ed., Washington: American Psychological Association, 2007.—economically, intellectually, or emotionally—often with a subst ...

literature, fear of commitment is the avoidance of long-term partnership and/or

marriage Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between ...

. In popular culture and in psychology, the concept is often much more pervasive and can affect an individual's school, work, and home life as well. The term "commitmentphobia" was coined in the popular self-help book ''Men Who Can't Love'' in 1987. Following criticism that the idea was

sexist Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on one's sex or gender. Sexism can affect anyone, but it primarily affects women and girls.There is a clear and broad consensus among academic scholars in multiple fields that sexism refers primaril ...

, implying only men were commitmentphobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitmentphobia in a later work, '' He's Scared, She's Scared'' (1995). When aversion to marriage involves fear, it's called "scottophobia". Hatred of marriage is "misogamy".Ben-Rafael, Eliezer, and Sasha Weitman. "The reconstitution of the family in the kibbutz." European Journal of Sociology 25.01 (1984): 1-27.

Criticism

Besides the common criticisms of self-help, psychologist Bella M. DePaulo has written books on singlism such as ''Singlism: What it is, why it matters and how to stop it'' and ''Singled Out'' on the stigmatization of single people. The use of the term "fear" or "phobia" imparts an inherent linguistic bias. It recasts specific lifestyle decisions (such as

bachelor A bachelor is a man who is not and has never been married.Bachelors are, in Pitt & al.'s phrasing, "men who live independently, outside of their parents' home and other institutional settings, who are neither married nor cohabitating". (). Etymo ...

hood vs.

, or a conscious decision to remain

childfree Voluntary childlessness, also called being childfree, describes the voluntary choice to not have children. In most societies and for most of human history, choosing not to have children was both difficult and undesirable. The availability of rel ...

) implicitly as generalised, irrational

phobia A phobia is an anxiety disorder defined by a persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation. Phobias typically result in a rapid onset of fear and are usually present for more than six months. Those affected go to great lengths to avo ...

s while failing to identify, describe or address an individual's specific motives. For instance, the

men's rights movement The men's rights movement (MRM) is a branch of the men's movement. The MRM in particular consists of a variety of groups and individuals (men's rights activists or MRAs) who focus on general social issues and specific government services whic ...

, citing high

divorce Divorce (also known as dissolution of marriage) is the process of terminating a marriage or marital union. Divorce usually entails the canceling or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the ...

rates and expensive

alimony Alimony, also called aliment (Scotland), maintenance (England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Wales, Canada, New Zealand), spousal support (U.S., Canada) and spouse maintenance (Australia), is a legal obligation on a person to provide financial suppo ...

and legal costs, does speak not in terms of a "fear of commitment" but of a "marriage strike" to reflect their position that non-marriage is an entirely valid, logical position based on rational consideration of the economic factors involved.

References

{{reflist Marriage Interpersonal relationships Divorce Intimate relationships Phobias

Criticism

See also

References