"Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)" is an innuendo-laden

comedy Comedy is a genre of fiction that consists of discourses or works intended to be humorous or amusing by inducing laughter, especially in theatre, film, stand-up comedy, television, radio, books, or any other entertainment medium. The term o ...

novelty song A novelty song is a type of song built upon some form of novel concept, such as a gimmick, a piece of humor, or a sample of popular culture. Novelty songs partially overlap with comedy songs, which are more explicitly based on humor, and wit ...

, written and performed by the English comedian

Benny Hill Alfred Hawthorne "Benny" Hill (21 January 1924 – 20 April 1992) was an English comedian, actor, singer and writer. He is remembered for his television programme ''The Benny Hill Show'', an amalgam of slapstick, burlesque and double ente ...

. The song was first performed on television in 1970, and released as a successful

recording A record, recording or records may refer to: An item or collection of data Computing * Record (computer science), a data structure ** Record, or row (database), a set of fields in a database related to one entity ** Boot sector or boot record, r ...

, topping the

UK Singles Chart The UK Singles Chart (currently titled Official Singles Chart, with the upper section more commonly known as the Official UK Top 40) is compiled by the Official Charts Company (OCC), on behalf of the British record industry, listing the top-s ...

in December 1971, reaching the

Christmas number one In the United Kingdom, Christmas number ones are singles that top the UK Singles Chart in the week in which Christmas Day falls. The singles have often been novelty songs, charity songs or songs with a Christmas theme. Historically, the volume ...

spot. The song also peaked at number 1 in Australia in February 1972. Hill received an

Ivor Novello Award The Ivor Novello Awards, named after the entertainer Ivor Novello, are awards for songwriting and composing. They have been presented annually in London by the Ivors Academy (formerly the BASCA) since 1956, and over 1,000 statuettes have been ...

from the

British Academy of Songwriters, Composers and Authors The Ivors Academy (formerly the British Academy of Songwriters, Composers and Authors – BASCA) is one of the largest professional associations for music writers in Europe. The academy exists to support, protect, and campaign for the interests ...

in 1972. The single's B-side, "Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo", is a music hall parody. Hill later suggested that the melody of "Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo" had been largely plagiarised in the ''

Spitting Image ''Spitting Image'' is a British satirical television puppet show, created by Peter Fluck, Roger Law and Martin Lambie-Nairn. First broadcast in 1984, the series was produced by 'Spitting Image Productions' for Central Independent Television ...

'' 1986 hit song "

The Chicken Song "The Chicken Song" is a novelty song by the British satirical comedy television programme ''Spitting Image'' (series 3, episode 6). The nonsensical lyrics were written by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor; the music was written by Philip Pope, who als ...

Story line

The lyric's story line is inspired by Hill's early experience as a

milkman Milk delivery is a delivery service dedicated to supplying milk. This service typically delivers milk in bottles or cartons directly to customers' homes. This service is performed by a milkman, milkwoman, or milk deliverer. (In contrast, a cow ...

for Hann's Dairies in

Eastleigh Eastleigh is a town in Hampshire, England, between Southampton and Winchester. It is the largest town and the administrative seat of the Borough of Eastleigh, with a population of 24,011 at the 2011 census. The town lies on the River Itchen, ...

Hampshire Hampshire (, ; abbreviated to Hants) is a ceremonial and non-metropolitan county in western South East England on the coast of the English Channel. Home to two major English cities on its south coast, Southampton and Portsmouth, Hampshire ...

. Market Street, mentioned in the lyrics, is a real-life street in Eastleigh. The song tells the fictional exploits of Ernie Price, a 52-year-old (68, in the original television version) milkman who drives a

horse The horse (''Equus ferus caballus'') is a domesticated, one-toed, hoofed mammal. It belongs to the taxonomic family Equidae and is one of two extant subspecies of ''Equus ferus''. The horse has evolved over the past 45 to 55 million yea ...

–drawn milk cart. It relates his feud with the bread delivery man (" Two-Ton Ted" from

Teddington Teddington is a suburb in south-west London in the London Borough of Richmond upon Thames. In 2021, Teddington was named as the best place to live in London by ''The Sunday Times''. Historically in Middlesex, Teddington is situated on a long me ...

) and their efforts to win the heart of Sue, a widow who lives alone at No. 22, Linley Lane. When Ted sees Ernie's cart outside Sue's house all afternoon, he becomes enraged and violently kicks Price's horse, Trigger. The two men resort to a duel, using the wares they carry on their respective carts for weapons, and Ernie is killed by a rock cake underneath his

heart The heart is a muscular organ in most animals. This organ pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system. The pumped blood carries oxygen and nutrients to the body, while carrying metabolic waste such as carbon dioxide to t ...

, followed by a stale

pork pie A pork pie is a traditional English meat pie, usually served either at room temperature or cold (although often served hot in Yorkshire). It consists of a filling of roughly chopped pork and pork fat, surrounded by a layer of jellied pork stock ...

in his eye; in the original television version it was a fresh

meat pie A meat pie is a pie with a filling of meat and often with other savory ingredients. They are found in cuisines worldwide. Meat pies are usually baked, fried, or deep fried to brown them and develop the flavour through the Maillard reaction. M ...

. Sue and Ted then marry, but sounds outside their bedroom make them wonder if Ernie's ghost has returned to haunt them on their wedding night.

History

"Ernie" was originally written in 1955 as the introduction to an unfilmed screenplay about Hill's milkman experiences. The song's content and style parody popular cowboy-story American country songs such as the 1966

Frank Gallop Frank Gallop (June 30, 1900 in Boston, Massachusetts – May 17, 1988 in Palm Beach, Florida) was an American radio and television personality. Radio Early days Frank Gallop went into broadcasting by chance. Born and raised in Boston's Back ...

US hit "The Ballad of Irving". "The Ballad of Irving" was itself inspired by Lorne Green's song " Ringo" from 1964, which had the same style and structure. Hill performed the song on ''

The Benny Hill Show ''The Benny Hill Show'' is a British comedy television show starring Benny Hill that aired on the BBC and ITV (from 1969) between 15 January 1955 and 1 May 1989. The show consisted mainly of sketches that were full of slapstick, mime, parody ...

'' in 1970. The original clip is seldom repeated as it was made in black and white owing to a technicians'

strike Strike may refer to: People * Strike (surname) Physical confrontation or removal *Strike (attack), attack with an inanimate object or a part of the human body intended to cause harm *Airstrike, military strike by air forces on either a suspected ...

, but the episode has been released on DVD, in both the United Kingdom and United States. The following year, it was included with minor lyrical revisions on Hill's album ''Words and Music''. When it was released as a single on

EMI EMI Group Limited (originally an initialism for Electric and Musical Industries, also referred to as EMI Records Ltd. or simply EMI) was a British Transnational corporation, transnational Conglomerate (company), conglomerate founded in March 1 ...

's Columbia label, it became a surprise number-one hit, topping the

for four weeks at Christmas 1971. A promotional film, starring Hill as Ernie,

Henry McGee ''For the American businessman and academic, see Henry W. McGee.'' Henry James Marris-McGee (14 May 1929 – 28 January 2006) was a British actor, best known as straight man to Benny Hill for many years. McGee was also often the announce ...

as Ted, and Jan Butlin as Sue, was filmed in Vicarage Road, Maidenhead, Berkshire. Hill re-recorded the song, shortly before his death in 1992, for the album ''Benny Hill... The Best Of''.

Legacy

On ''

Desert Island Discs ''Desert Island Discs'' is a radio programme broadcast on BBC Radio 4. It was first broadcast on the BBC Forces Programme on 29 January 1942. Each week a guest, called a "castaway" during the programme, is asked to choose eight recordings (usua ...

'' in May 2006, Conservative Party leader, later

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom The prime minister of the United Kingdom is the head of government of the United Kingdom. The prime minister advises the sovereign on the exercise of much of the royal prerogative, chairs the Cabinet and selects its ministers. As modern ...

, David Cameron picked it as one of his eight favourite records.

References

External links

BBC News Magazine: Ernie's Journey
{{authority control Songs about fictional male characters Songs about occupations 1971 singles Benny Hill songs UK Singles Chart number-one singles Number-one singles in Australia Novelty songs Fictional milkmen 1970 songs Columbia Graphophone Company singles

Story line

History

Legacy

See also

References

External links