Engagement party
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An engagement party, also known as a betrothal party or fort, is a party held to celebrate a couple's recent
engagement An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself (which is typically but not always commenced with a wedding). During this period, a couple is said to be ''fi ...
and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another. Traditionally, the
bride A bride is a woman who is about to be married or who is newlywed. When marrying, the bride's future spouse, (if male) is usually referred to as the ''bridegroom'' or just ''groom''. In Western culture, a bride may be attended by a maid, brides ...
's parents host the engagement party, but many modern couples host their own celebration.


History

Originally, engagement parties had the appearance of normal parties at which the
father A father is the male parent of a child. Besides the paternal bonds of a father to his children, the father may have a parental, legal, and social relationship with the child that carries with it certain rights and obligations. An adoptive fathe ...
of the bride-to-be made a surprise announcement of the engagement to his guests, which was ecclesiastically solemnized in a rite of betrothal at a church, according to Christian customs. The engagement party had the purpose of sharing the
engagement An engagement or betrothal is the period of time between the declaration of acceptance of a marriage proposal and the marriage itself (which is typically but not always commenced with a wedding). During this period, a couple is said to be ''fi ...
news with family members and friends. Therefore, it was not a traditional gift-giving occasion, as none of the guests were supposed to be aware of the engagement until after their arrival. In
ancient Greece Ancient Greece ( el, Ἑλλάς, Hellás) was a northeastern Mediterranean civilization, existing from the Greek Dark Ages of the 12th–9th centuries BC to the end of classical antiquity ( AD 600), that comprised a loose collection of cult ...
, an engagement party was a
commercial transaction A financial transaction is an agreement, or communication, between a buyer and seller to exchange goods, services, or assets for payment. Any transaction involves a change in the status of the finances of two or more businesses or individuals. A ...
. It was an
oral contract An oral contract is a contract, the terms of which have been agreed by spoken communication. This is in contrast to a written contract, where the contract is a written document. There may be written, or other physical evidence, of an oral contract ...
, between the man who gave the woman in marriage, generally the father and the groom.A perfect union? Marriage has seen many makeovers
,
Hartford Courant The ''Hartford Courant'' is the largest daily newspaper in the U.S. state of Connecticut, and is considered to be the oldest continuously published newspaper in the United States. A morning newspaper serving most of the state north of New Haven ...
, Ron Grossman, February 29, 2004
The
bride A bride is a woman who is about to be married or who is newlywed. When marrying, the bride's future spouse, (if male) is usually referred to as the ''bridegroom'' or just ''groom''. In Western culture, a bride may be attended by a maid, brides ...
was not present. A
Jewish Jews ( he, יְהוּדִים, , ) or Jewish people are an ethnoreligious group and nation originating from the Israelites Israelite origins and kingdom: "The first act in the long drama of Jewish history is the age of the Israelites""The ...
engagement party is known as a ''vort'' ( yi, word). Breaking a ceramic
plate Plate may refer to: Cooking * Plate (dishware), a broad, mainly flat vessel commonly used to serve food * Plates, tableware, dishes or dishware used for setting a table, serving food and dining * Plate, the content of such a plate (for example: ...
at a ''vort'' is customary, symbolizing the permanence of marriage and mirroring the breaking of a glass at a Jewish wedding. In the Scottish Gaelic tradition, a
rèiteach A rèiteach () was a betrothal ceremony in the older Gaelic culture of the Scottish highlands. It is also attested in Gaelic-speaking Canada. Etymology The Gaelic word ''rèiteach'', which was written ''réiteach'' until the spelling reform, mea ...
was a betrothal ritual which typically ended in a dance party for the whole community.


Modern times

In modern times, an engagement party may celebrate a previously publicized engagement. It is a party like any other, except that usually toasts or speeches are made to announce the upcoming
wedding A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vo ...
. While it varies, an engagement party takes place at the beginning of the process of planning a wedding. It is often thrown at the couple's home or at the home of a close friend or relative of the couple, or at the couple's
church hall A church hall or parish hall is a room or building associated with a church, generally for community and charitable use.
. Gifts are never obligatory, and if one is brought, it should be small and less expensive than a typical wedding gift. A Christian betrothal ceremony, which is often followed with an engagement party, is normative in certain parts of the world, as with the Christians of India and Pakistan. In the
United States The United States of America (U.S.A. or USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territorie ...
, engagement parties are currently a more common practice in the
Northeast The points of the compass are a set of horizontal, radially arrayed compass directions (or azimuths) used in navigation and cartography. A compass rose is primarily composed of four cardinal directions—north, east, south, and west—each se ...
, particularly in the New York area, though they are becoming more common in the
Southeast The points of the compass are a set of horizontal, radially arrayed compass directions (or azimuths) used in navigation and cartography. A compass rose is primarily composed of four cardinal directions—north, east, south, and west—each sepa ...
as well. In most other parts of the country relatively few couples have them. Unlike publishing the
banns of marriage The banns of marriage, commonly known simply as the "banns" or "bans" (from a Middle English word meaning "proclamation", rooted in Frankish and thence in Old French), are the public announcement in a Christian parish church, or in the town cou ...
, an engagement party has never been required. In
Africa Africa is the world's second-largest and second-most populous continent, after Asia in both cases. At about 30.3 million km2 (11.7 million square miles) including adjacent islands, it covers 6% of Earth's total surface area ...
, what is now known as an ''engagement party'' may in fact be the last remnant of the traditional, pre-colonial marriage ceremony itself. Such is the case with the
Yoruba people The Yoruba people (, , ) are a West African ethnic group that mainly inhabit parts of Nigeria, Benin, and Togo. The areas of these countries primarily inhabited by Yoruba are often collectively referred to as Yorubaland. The Yoruba constitute ...
and their
bride-price Bride price, bride-dowry (Mahr in Islam), bride-wealth, or bride token, is money, property, or other form of wealth paid by a groom or his family to the woman or the family of the woman he will be married to or is just about to marry. Bride dow ...
rites Rail India Technical and Economic Service Limited, abbreviated as RITES Ltd, is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Indian Railways, Ministry of Railways, Government of India. It is an engineering consultancy corporation, specializing in the field ...
and the
Nguni people The Nguni people are a Bantu ethnic group from South Africa, with off-shoots in neighbouring countries in Southern Africa. Swazi (or Swati) people live in both South Africa and Eswatini, while Northern Ndebele people live in both South Africa (a ...
and their
lobola Lobolo or lobola in Zulu, Swazi, Xhosa, Silozi, Shona and northern and southern Ndebele (''mahadi'' in Sesotho, ''magadi'' in Setswana, ''lovola'' in Xitsonga), and ''mamalo'' in Tshivenda language, sometimes referred to as "bride wealth" or ...
practices.


See also

*
Bachelor party A bachelor party (in the United States and sometimes in Canada), also known as a stag weekend, stag do or stag party (in the United Kingdom, Commonwealth countries, and Ireland), or a buck's night (in Australia), is a party held/arranged by th ...
*
Bachelorette party A bachelorette party ( United States and Canada) or hen night ( UK, Ireland and Australia) is a party held for a woman (the bride or bride-to-be) who will soon be married. While Beth Montemurro concludes that the bachelorette party is modelled ...
*
Bridal shower A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding. The history of the custom is rooted not necessarily for the provision of goods for the upcoming matrimonial home, but to provide goods and financial ass ...
*
Stag and doe A stag and doe party, stag and drag party, hen and stag party, buck and doe party, a jack and jill party, or a wedding social is a Canadian party and fundraiser for an engaged couple. Canada A cultural event in Canada, popular mostly in Manitob ...


References

{{Pre-wedding parties Engagement Parties