Within the guidelines of

Halacha ''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Jewish religious laws which is derived from the written and Oral Torah. Halakha is based on biblical comman ...

, as presented by Chazal and early Rabbinic authorities, the discussion revolves around oral-vulvar stimulation in Halacha (also known as נשיקת אותו מקום, lit. "kissing of that place"). It explores whether or not a man may orally stimulate his wife's vulva (

cunnilingus Cunnilingus is an oral sex act performed by a person on the vulva or vagina of another person. The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of the human female genitalia, and its stimulation may result in a woman becoming sexually aroused ...

) independent of whether this stimulation does or does not result in her achieving

orgasm Orgasm (from Greek , ; "excitement, swelling") or sexual climax is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic, involuntary muscular contractions in the pelvic region chara ...

. The discussion is within the exclusive framework of a halachically permitted marital relationship and only during the time that one's wife is not in her

Niddah Niddah (or nidah; he, נִדָּה), in traditional Judaism, describes a woman who has experienced a uterine discharge of blood (most commonly during menstruation), or a woman who has menstruated and not yet completed the associated requirem ...

state.

Chazalic views

Talmud Bavli The Talmud (; he, , Talmūḏ) is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism and the primary source of Jewish religious law (''halakha'') and Jewish theology. Until the advent of modernity, in nearly all Jewish communities, the Talmud was the center ...

(Nedarim p. 20b) quotes the majority of rabbis (who disagree with the fringe view of Yohanan Ben Dahabai) who are lenient by stating that "all that man desires to do with his wife he may" (provided she agrees). The Talmud goes on to bring a parable of a man who makes a meat or fish purchase, that he may cook his purchase in any way he desires. In a varying text of kallah rabthi as printed in "battei medrashoth" Rabbi Werthheimer notes the significance of the Talmud quoting both meat and fish in its parable; Since the Torah forbids cooking one's meat in milk, a parable quoting just meat would not suffice as meat has this restrictive element whereas fish has a lesser restrictive element, thus implying that man has an enhanced level of (sexual) freedom with his wife. The

Rambam Musa ibn Maimon (1138–1204), commonly known as Maimonides (); la, Moses Maimonides and also referred to by the acronym Rambam ( he, רמב״ם), was a Sephardic Jewish philosopher who became one of the most prolific and influential Torah s ...

takes a somewhat lenient approach that permits oral-vulvar stimulation but at the same time discourages its actual practice

During ovulation

As stringent view of oral-vulvar stimulation when a woman may conceive is presented in Kallah Rabthi, one of the Minor tractate in the name of

Rabbah Amman (; ar, عَمَّان, ' ; Ammonite: 𐤓𐤁𐤕 𐤏𐤌𐤍 ''Rabat ʻAmān'') is the capital and largest city of Jordan, and the country's economic, political, and cultural center. With a population of 4,061,150 as of 2021, Amman is ...

Regarding the Kohen

The Sifthei Kohen (vol. 2 p. 244) commentary to the Torah points out that the

kohen Kohen ( he, , ''kōhēn'', , "priest", pl. , ''kōhănīm'', , "priests") is the Hebrew word for " priest", used in reference to the Aaronic priesthood, also called Aaronites or Aaronides. Levitical priests or ''kohanim'' are traditionally ...

personality is to be extra-scrupulous with oral-vulvar stimulation of his wife when producing offspring, as per Rabbi Yochanan's ben Dhabai's warning that it may cause a physical blemish were his wife to conceive; as a kohen is bounded by the Torah rules of kohanic disqualifications, and may be disqualified from specific Bet HaMikdash services if he has a physical blemish.

Views of the Achronim

Shulchan Aruch The ''Shulchan Aruch'' ( he, שֻׁלְחָן עָרוּך , literally: "Set Table"), sometimes dubbed in English as the Code of Jewish Law, is the most widely consulted of the various legal codes in Judaism. It was authored in Safed (today in I ...

(Orach Hayyim ch. 240) takes a stringent view of oral-vulvar stimulation by stating that the transgressor violates the spirit of the Torah verses of והצנע לכת ("Thou shalt walk humbly" - Micah 6:8) and בעבור תהיה יראתו על פניכם לבלתי תחטאו ("So that fear (of God) should be on your faces so that you should not sin" -Exodus 9:16) and of בל תשקצו את נפשותיכם ("Thou should not make your soul despicable" -Leviticus 20:25).

Leniencies

The Remah's glosses to Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer ch. 25) adopt a more lenient view on oral-vulvar stimulation, as does Rabbi Yoel Sirkus (the "Bach") who permits it in accordance with halacha, but nonetheless discourage its practice. Rabbi A. Arbel in his work "Ba'athi Legani" points out that the Rambam disagrees that oral-vulvar stimulation violates the spirit of the verse of בל תשקצו, as the average person – during sexual excitement – is not disgusted at the notion of orally stimulating the vulva. A similar point of view is written by Rabbi Shlomo Blumenkrantz who states that the Remah, Chelkath Mechokek and the

Aruch HaShulchan ''Arukh HaShulchan'' (Hebrew: עָרוּךְ הַשֻּׁלְחָן r, arguably, עָרֹךְ הַשֻּׁלְחָן; see ''Title'' below is a work of halacha written by Yechiel Michel Epstein (1829–1908). The work attempts to be a clear, orga ...

all agree that one may do with his wife as one desires – including oral-vulvar stimulation – as this is not punishable according to bare-basic halacha. However, his brother, Rabbi Avrohom Blumenkrantz, author of Gefen Porioh, explicitly forbids oral sex. "Gefen Porioh" Avrohom Blumenkrantz, Brooklyn, NY 1984 ch. 15 page 149.

References

{{Marital life in Judaism