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The Cinderella complex was first described by Colette Dowling, who wrote a book on women's fear of
The Cinderella complex was first described by Colette Dowling, who wrote a book on women's fear of independence
Independence is a condition of a person, nation, country, or state in which residents and population, or some portion thereof, exercise self-government, and usually sovereignty, over its territory. The opposite of independence is the statu ...
– an unconscious desire to be taken care of by someone else. The complex is said to become more apparent as a person grows older.
The complex is named after the fairy tale character of Cinderella
"Cinderella",; french: link=no, Cendrillon; german: link=no, Aschenputtel) or "The Little Glass Slipper", is a folk tale with thousands of variants throughout the world.Dundes, Alan. Cinderella, a Casebook. Madison, Wis: University of Wisconsi ...
. Its title refers to an ideal of femininity as portrayed in that story, where a woman is expected to be beautiful, polite, supportive of others but fundamentally incapable of either taking care of herself or changing her situation through her own efforts. Instead she is taught that she needs to be protected and taken care by another, usually a man. (i.e., the Prince
A prince is a male ruler (ranked below a king, grand prince, and grand duke) or a male member of a monarch's or former monarch's family. ''Prince'' is also a title of nobility (often highest), often hereditary, in some European states. T ...
). Dowling examines the deleterious effects of this socialization on the psychology of girls and women.
The Cinderella Syndrome
In 1981, Colette Dowling published an article titled "The Cinderella Syndrome" in ''The New York Times
''The New York Times'' (''the Times'', ''NYT'', or the Gray Lady) is a daily newspaper based in New York City with a worldwide readership reported in 2020 to comprise a declining 840,000 paid print subscribers, and a growing 6 million paid d ...
'', which was adapted from her book, ''The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence'' which was to be published that year.
Additional perspectives
Others point toRonald Fairbairn
William Ronald Dodds Fairbairn () FRSE (11 August 1889 – 31 December 1964) was a Scottish psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and a central figure in the development of the Object Relations Theory of psychoanalysis. He usually used, and was known as ...
's concept of mature dependency,Judith Viorst
Judith Viorst (; née Stahl,Aarons, Leroy ''People (magazine)'', February 18, 1980 Vol. 13 No. 7. Accessed August 4, 2016. "Born in Maplewood, N.J., the daughter of an accountant and a mother 'who was a reader and a bridge player,' Judith Stahl ...
(2010) ''Necessary Losses''. Simon & Schuster. . p. 120 to challenge cultural disparagement of dependency in favor of an ideal of isolated independence. Carol Gilligan's championship of a web of connections as a feminist goal, rather than the solitary male hero, is also invoked to defend the Cinderella complex's tendency to define the self in terms of a mate/settled relationship.R. J. Corsini (1999) ''A Dictionary of Psychology''. Psychology Press. . p. 166
Popular culture
In 1955, the term ''Cinderella complex'' was already used by British writer Agatha Christie in her detective story Hickory Dickory Dock. The student of psychology, Colin McNabb, diagnoses a Cinderella complex with Celia Austin. And in 1960Osbert Sitwell
Sir Francis Osbert Sacheverell Sitwell, 5th Baronet CH CBE (6 December 1892 – 4 May 1969) was an English writer. His elder sister was Edith Sitwell and his younger brother was Sacheverell Sitwell. Like them, he devoted his life to art and ...
published the comedy ''The Cinderella Complex''.
In the movie ''Tootsie
''Tootsie'' is a 1982 American satirical romantic comedy-drama film directed by Sydney Pollack and starring Dustin Hoffman. Its supporting cast includes Pollack, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Dabney Coleman, Bill Murray, Charles Durning, Geo ...
'', Teri Garr
Teri Ann Garr (born December 11, 1944) is an American former actress, dancer, and comedian. She frequently appeared in comedic roles throughout her career, which spans four decades and includes over 140 credits in film and television. Her accola ...
tells Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Lee Hoffman (born August 8, 1937) is an American actor and filmmaker. As one of the key actors in the formation of New Hollywood, Hoffman is known for his versatile portrayals of antiheroes and emotionally vulnerable characters. He is ...
during their break-up at the end of the movie, "I read the Cinderella Complex, I know I'm responsible for my own orgasm! I don't care, I just don't like being lied to!"
In the TV series ''Police Squad!
''Police Squad!'' is an American television crime comedy series that was broadcast on the ABC network in 1982. It was created by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker, starring Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin. A spoof of police procedu ...
'' episode 4 " Revenge and Remorse", Joyce Brothers
Joyce Diane Brothers (October 20, 1927 – May 13, 2013) was an American psychologist, television personality, advice columnist, and writer.
She first became famous in 1955 for winning the top prize on the American game show '' The $64,000 Ques ...
gets advice from the shoeshine man Johnny about how to treat the Cinderella Complex: "Tell them to get in touch with their unconscious feelings and to share in the growth process with their partner."
It is also mentioned in Netflix's "Sex Education
Sex education, also known as sexual education, sexuality education or sex ed, is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including emotional relations and responsibilities, human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, sexual reproduc ...
" in season 1 episode 7.
See also
* ''Bridget Jones
Bridget Rose Jones is a fictional character created by British writer Helen Fielding. Jones first appeared in Fielding's '' Bridget Jones's Diary'' column in ''The Independent'' in 1995, which did not carry any byline. Thus, it seemed to be an act ...
''
* Family nexus
* ''Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded
''Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded'' is an epistolary novel first published in 1740 by English writer Samuel Richardson. Considered one of the first true English novels, it serves as Richardson's version of conduct literature about marriage. ''Pamel ...
''
* Sibling rivalry
Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood-related or not.
Siblings generally spend more time together during childhood than they do with parents. The sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced ...
References
{{Cinderella Self Popular psychology Complex (psychology) Cinderella