''Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out'' () is a humorous travel book written by Robin Halstead, Jason Hazeley, Alex Morris, and

Joel Morris Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris are a British comedy writing duo. Their work includes a collection of parody Ladybird books, and they have written scripts for many British comedy series and films, including ''That Mitchell and Webb Look'', Charlie Bro ...

(the creators of '' The Framley Examiner''), which showcases unusual attractions, left-field

museum A museum ( ; plural museums or, rarely, musea) is a building or institution that cares for and displays a collection of artifacts and other objects of artistic, cultural, historical, or scientific importance. Many public museums make thes ...

s and one-off days out in the United Kingdom. The introduction describes the book as "a collection of the underdogs of British tourism...

hat A hat is a head covering which is worn for various reasons, including protection against weather conditions, ceremonial reasons such as university graduation, religious reasons, safety, or as a fashion accessory. Hats which incorporate mecha ...

say more about Britain and the British than any number of corkscrew thrill rides or high-tech Interactive Visitor Experiences." The book was published in hardback by Michael Joseph Ltd (an imprint of the

Penguin Group Penguin Group is a British trade book publisher and part of Penguin Random House, which is owned by the German media conglomerate Bertelsmann. The new company was created by a merger that was finalised on 1 July 2013, with Bertelsmann initi ...

) in 2005. It was also published in paperback by

Penguin Books Penguin Books is a British publishing house. It was co-founded in 1935 by Allen Lane with his brothers Richard and John, as a line of the publishers The Bodley Head, only becoming a separate company the following year.The Times ''The Times'' is a British daily national newspaper based in London. It began in 1785 under the title ''The Daily Universal Register'', adopting its current name on 1 January 1788. ''The Times'' and its sister paper '' The Sunday Times'' (f ...

'', ''

The Press ''The Press'' is a daily newspaper published in Christchurch, New Zealand owned by media business Stuff Ltd. First published in 1861, the newspaper is the largest circulating daily in the South Island and publishes Monday to Saturday. One comm ...

'', and ''

The Daily Telegraph ''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally. It was f ...

''. A sequel, titled ''Far From the Sodding Crowd'', was published in hardback in 2007. A paperback edition, ''More Bollocks to Alton Towers'', () was published in April 2008. A short documentary, ''Far From the Sodding Crowd'', was made in 2009 and features some of the attractions included in both books, as well as writers Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris.

Attractions covered in the book: *

Blackgang Chine Blackgang Chine is the oldest amusement park in the United Kingdom, having opened in 1843. Named after a now-destroyed chine (a coastal ravine) in the soft Cretaceous cliffs, it is about 6 miles from Ventnor at the southern tip of the Isle of Wi ...

br>
*British

Lawnmower A lawn mower (also known as a mower, grass cutter or lawnmower) is a device utilizing one or more revolving blades (or a reel) to cut a grass surface to an even height. The height of the cut grass may be fixed by the design of the mower, but g ...

Museu

*

Peasholm Park Peasholm Park is an oriental themed municipal park located in the seaside town of Scarborough, North Yorkshire, England. It opened in 1912 and became a venue for galas, displays and exhibitions. The park was extended to include Peasholm Glen, a ...

Naval Warfar

* Louis Tussaud, Louis Tussaud's House of Wax - ''No longer open'' *

Kelvedon Hatch Kelvedon Hatch is a village in civil parish of Kelvedon Hatch, in the Borough of Brentwood in south Essex, England. It is situated just north of Pilgrims Hatch, approximately to the north of Brentwood and is surrounded by Metropolitan Green ...

Nuclear Bunke

*Porteath Bee Centr

* John 'Mad Jack' Fuller, Mad Jack's Sugar Loa

*

Keith and Dufftown Railway The Keith and Dufftown Railway ("The Whisky Line") is a heritage railway in Scotland, running for from , Keith (Ordnance Survey grid reference ) to () via () and Auchindachy. Originally the former Great North of Scotland Railway's Kei ...

br>
*The EastEnders Set *

Pitt Rivers Museum Pitt Rivers Museum is a museum displaying the archaeological and anthropological collections of the University of Oxford in England. The museum is located to the east of the Oxford University Museum of Natural History, and can only be accessed ...

br>
*Eden Ostrich Worl

- ''No longer open'' *Keith Harding's World of Mechanical Musi

- ''No longer open'' * Shah Jahan Mosque, Woking, Shah Jahan Mosquebr>
*The David Beckham, Beckham Trai

* Ursula Southeil, Mother Shipton's Cave and Dripping Wel

* Apollo Pavilionbr>
*Hamilton Toy Collectio

*

Imber Imber is an uninhabited village within the British Army's training area on Salisbury Plain, Wiltshire, England. It lies in an isolated area of the Plain, about west of the A360 road between Tilshead and West Lavington. A linear village, i ...

br>
*

Cumberland Pencil Museum The Derwent Pencil Museum is in Keswick, in the north-west of England. History The museum opened in 1981 and is home to one of the biggest colouring pencils in the world, the idea of technical manager Barbara Murray. The yellow pencil was comp ...

br>
*Pack o' Cards In

* Diggerlandbr>
*

Orford Ness Orford Ness is a cuspate foreland shingle spit on the Suffolk coast in Great Britain, linked to the mainland at Aldeburgh and stretching along the coast to Orford and down to North Weir Point, opposite Shingle Street. It is divided from the m ...

br>
* Wellcome Collection, The Wellcome Collection of Medical Historybr>
* Cast Courts (Victoria and Albert Museum), Cast Courts, Victoria and Albert Museumbr>
* Tebay services, Tebay Servicesbr>
* Williamson's tunnels, The Williamson Tunnelsbr>
*

Barometer World Barometer World is the world's only barometer A barometer is a scientific instrument that is used to measure air pressure in a certain environment. Pressure tendency can forecast short term changes in the weather. Many measurements of air ...

br>
*

Portmeirion Portmeirion is a tourist village in Gwynedd, North Wales. It was designed and built by Sir Clough Williams-Ellis between 1925 and 1975 in the style of an Italian village, and is now owned by a charitable trust. The village is located in the co ...

br>
*Edinburgh

Camera Obscura A camera obscura (; ) is a darkened room with a small hole or lens at one side through which an image is projected onto a wall or table opposite the hole. ''Camera obscura'' can also refer to analogous constructions such as a box or tent in w ...

and World of Illusion

* The Crystal Palace Dinosaurs, The Dinosaur Park and Tidal Lakebr>
*House of

Marbles A marble is a small spherical object often made from glass, clay, steel, plastic, or agate. They vary in size, and most commonly are about in diameter. These toys can be used for a variety of games called ''marbles'', as well being placed in mar ...

br>
* Dennis Severs' Housebr>
*

Bletchley Park Bletchley Park is an English country house and estate in Bletchley, Milton Keynes ( Buckinghamshire) that became the principal centre of Allied code-breaking during the Second World War. The mansion was constructed during the years followin ...

br>
*The

Workhouse In Britain, a workhouse () was an institution where those unable to support themselves financially were offered accommodation and employment. (In Scotland, they were usually known as poorhouses.) The earliest known use of the term ''workhouse' ...

Museu

* Llanfair PG, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochbr>
*South Bridge Vault

* Gnome Magi

* A La Rondebr>
*

Port Sunlight Port Sunlight is a model village and suburb in the Metropolitan Borough of Wirral, Merseyside. It is located between Lower Bebington and New Ferry, on the Wirral Peninsula. Port Sunlight was built by Lever Brothers to accommodate workers in it ...

br>
* Morpeth, Northumberland, Morpeth

Bagpipe Bagpipes are a woodwind instrument using enclosed reeds fed from a constant reservoir of air in the form of a bag. The Great Highland bagpipes are well known, but people have played bagpipes for centuries throughout large parts of Europe, ...

Museu

*

Bekonscot Bekonscot in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, is the oldest original model village in the world. It portrays aspects of England mostly dating from the 1930s. Bekonscot was first created in the 1920s by a Beaconsfield resident, Roland Calli ...

Model Villag

*

Avebury Avebury () is a Neolithic henge monument containing three stone circles, around the village of Avebury in Wiltshire, in southwest England. One of the best known prehistoric sites in Britain, it contains the largest megalithic stone circle in ...

br>
* Panacea Society, Christ's House

References

{{Reflist

External links

Far From the Sodding Crowd (Film)
- Film not currently available (as of 30 August 2015)
Far From the Sodding Crowd (Film)
- on Vimeo 2005 non-fiction books British travel books Books about the United Kingdom Museums in popular culture

Contents

References

External links