Bedtime Stories (How I Met Your Mother)
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"Bedtime Stories" is the eleventh episode of the ninth season of the
CBS CBS Broadcasting Inc., commonly shortened to CBS, the abbreviation of its former legal name Columbia Broadcasting System, is an American commercial broadcast television and radio network serving as the flagship property of the CBS Entertainm ...
sitcom A sitcom, a portmanteau of situation comedy, or situational comedy, is a genre of comedy centered on a fixed set of characters who mostly carry over from episode to episode. Sitcoms can be contrasted with sketch comedy, where a troupe may use ...
'' How I Met Your Mother'', and the 195th episode overall.


Plot

On Saturday at 5pm, 25 hours before Barney and Robin's wedding,
Marshall Marshall may refer to: Places Australia * Marshall, Victoria, a suburb of Geelong, Victoria Canada * Marshall, Saskatchewan * The Marshall, a mountain in British Columbia Liberia * Marshall, Liberia Marshall Islands * Marshall Islands, an i ...
and his son, Marvin, are taking the bus in the final leg of their journey to Farhampton. In an effort to get Marvin to sleep, Marshall constantly uses rhymes (the entire episode is worded with rhymes), and begins telling stories of his friends. The intro sequence employs a music box version of the theme song. The episode also features
Lin-Manuel Miranda Lin-Manuel Miranda (; born January 16, 1980) is an American songwriter, actor, playwright and filmmaker. He is known for creating the Broadway musicals ''Hamilton'' (2015) and '' In the Heights'' (2005), and the soundtracks for the Disney animat ...
as a rhyming and
rap Rapping (also rhyming, spitting, emceeing or MCing) is a musical form of vocal delivery that incorporates "rhyme, rhythmic speech, and street vernacular". It is performed or chanted, usually over a backing beat or musical accompaniment. The ...
ping bus passenger named Gus.


"Mosby at the Bat"

The first story concerns Ted while he was still a
professor Professor (commonly abbreviated as Prof.) is an academic rank at universities and other post-secondary education and research institutions in most countries. Literally, ''professor'' derives from Latin as a "person who professes". Professors ...
. Lisa, a young
physics Physics is the natural science that studies matter, its fundamental constituents, its motion and behavior through space and time, and the related entities of energy and force. "Physical science is that department of knowledge which r ...
professor, introduces herself to Ted and asks him out to dinner to learn more about his inspiring lectures. Ted is at first excited, but then wonders if Lisa will view the dinner as a date or as just a meeting between coworkers. Throughout the dinner, Ted receives mixed signals on whether it is a date or not, and Lisa eventually reveals she had once dated a
New York Yankees The New York Yankees are an American professional baseball team based in the New York City borough of the Bronx. The Yankees compete in Major League Baseball (MLB) as a member club of the American League (AL) East division. They are one of ...
player. Ted is so intrigued he urges her to tell who; she reveals him to be Derek Jeter just as she casually describes their meeting as "a lovely date", but when Lisa shows him a picture, Ted is annoyed to find out it is actually Barney.


"Robin Takes the Cake"

The next story begins with Robin having recently broken up with one of her ex-boyfriends (Marshall is unable to remember who), and is unashamedly shoveling down sweets at a bakery. She then runs into
Simon Simon may refer to: People * Simon (given name), including a list of people and fictional characters with the given name Simon * Simon (surname), including a list of people with the surname Simon * Eugène Simon, French naturalist and the genus ...
and is surprised to see he is more clean-shaven and professional than before, but quickly becomes dejected when he reveals he's engaged to be married. In anger, Robin steals Simon's wedding cake and begins eating it at Ted's apartment, much to Ted's scolding and bewilderment. When Robin has finished nearly half the cake,
Lily ''Lilium'' () is a genus of herbaceous flowering plants growing from bulbs, all with large prominent flowers. They are the true lilies. Lilies are a group of flowering plants which are important in culture and literature in much of the world. M ...
arrives, and Robin feels remorse for her actions and decides to stop. Lily, however, convinces Robin to be strong and finish the cake. Her struggle to finish soon draws others to the apartment to cheer her on, including Barney who brings a keg of beer. She eventually finishes, then proceeds to do a keg stand (Marshall adds that afterwards they had to get her stomach pumped).


"Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City"

The final story has the gang at McLaren's, where Barney has his sights set on a girl who just walked into the bar. Lily says the girl is out of Barney's league, but Barney claims no girl is unworthy as he is the "Player King of
New York City New York, often called New York City or NYC, is the most populous city in the United States. With a 2020 population of 8,804,190 distributed over , New York City is also the most densely populated major city in the Un ...
". Barney relates a story of how, after bedding Lisa, he was called before the High Council of Players, a group of
pickup artist Pickup artists (PUA), self-identified as dating coaches, the seduction community or the pickup community, is a movement of men (or women) whose goal is seduction and sexual success. The community exists through Internet newsletters and blogs, ma ...
s of differing social backgrounds each with a specific borough of New York City in which they can seduce women (the members are all played by
Neil Patrick Harris Neil Patrick Harris (born June 15, 1973) is an American actor, singer, writer, producer, and television host. Primarily known for his comedic television roles and dramatic and musical stage roles, he has received multiple accolades throughout ...
): hipster Pickle Jar Bob in
Brooklyn Brooklyn () is a borough of New York City, coextensive with Kings County, in the U.S. state of New York. Kings County is the most populous county in the State of New York, and the second-most densely populated county in the United States, be ...
,
guido Guido is a given name Latinised from the Old High German name Wido. It originated in Medieval Italy. Guido later became a male first name in Austria, Germany, the Low Countries, Scandinavia, Spain, Portugal, Latin America and Switzerland. The mea ...
Staten Island Lou in Staten Island,
airline pilot An aircraft pilot or aviator is a person who controls the flight of an aircraft by operating its directional flight controls. Some other aircrew members, such as navigators or flight engineers, are also considered aviators, because they a ...
impersonator Captain Bill in
Queens Queens is a borough of New York City, coextensive with Queens County, in the U.S. state of New York. Located on Long Island, it is the largest New York City borough by area. It is bordered by the borough of Brooklyn at the western tip of Long ...
,
New York Yankee The New York Yankees are an American professional baseball team based in the New York City borough of the Bronx. The Yankees compete in Major League Baseball (MLB) as a member club of the American League (AL) East division. They are one of ...
impersonator
Bronx The Bronx () is a borough of New York City, coextensive with Bronx County, in the state of New York. It is south of Westchester County; north and east of the New York City borough of Manhattan, across the Harlem River; and north of the New Y ...
Donnie in the Bronx, and
upper class Upper class in modern societies is the social class composed of people who hold the highest social status, usually are the wealthiest members of class society, and wield the greatest political power. According to this view, the upper class is gen ...
Tuxedo Black tie is a semi-formal Western dress code for evening events, originating in British and American conventions for attire in the 19th century. In British English, the dress code is often referred to synecdochically by its principal element ...
Charlie with whom Barney shares
Manhattan Manhattan (), known regionally as the City, is the most densely populated and geographically smallest of the five boroughs of New York City. The borough is also coextensive with New York County, one of the original counties of the U.S. state ...
, using Fifth Avenue as the boundary; Charlie gets the eastern side, Barney the western side. Because Lisa lives on East 22nd Street and Barney had impersonated Derek Jeter to bed her, Barney must offer Robin and Lily to Charlie and Donnie respectively as recompense for using Donnie's methods in Charlie's territory. Barney agrees, then offers a toast of champagne to everyone. They all drink except Barney, who reveals he had poisoned the drink, and laughs as the other members die. In the present, the others sarcastically applaud Barney's story, but reveal Ted to be
making out Making out is a term of American origin dating back to at least 1949, and is used to refer to kissing, including extended French kissing or heavy kissing of the neck (called ''necking''), or to acts of non-penetrative sex such as heavy pett ...
with the girl to punish Barney for sleeping with Lisa, leaving Barney annoyed and jealous. The scene is an allusion to a similar meeting scene in ''
The Godfather ''The Godfather'' is a 1972 American crime film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, who co-wrote the screenplay with Mario Puzo, based on Puzo's best-selling 1969 novel of the same title. The film stars Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caa ...
'' in which the leaders of the five crime families of New York meet to settle a dispute. Marshall nearly gets Marvin to sleep when the bus suffers a
flat tire A flat tire (British English: flat tyre) is a deflated pneumatic tyre, which can cause the rim of the wheel to ride on the tire tread or the ground potentially resulting in loss of control of the vehicle or irreparable damage to the tire. The mos ...
, and Marshall and the other riders step outside to view a
fireworks display Fireworks are a class of Explosive, low explosive Pyrotechnics, pyrotechnic devices used for aesthetic and entertainment purposes. They are most commonly used in fireworks displays (also called a fireworks show or pyrotechnics), combining a l ...
. Marshall tells Marvin he will be with his mother soon, but dreads the impending fallout he would face from Lily finding out about his judgeship. Marshall hopes Marvin is too young to remember the day's events, but
Future Ted Theodore Evelyn Mosby is a fictional character and the protagonist in the American sitcom ''How I Met Your Mother'', portrayed by Josh Radnor. He serves as the show's narrator from the future, voiced by Bob Saget, as he tells his children the " ...
remarks the fireworks would be the first memory Marvin would remember. Gus, another passenger on the bus, informs Marshall that the Farhampton Inn is only five miles away, and Marshall decides to walk there, a decision Future Ted explains Marshall would later regret.


Critical reception

Bill Kuchman of Popculturology praised the episode's rhyming scheme on a creative level, but nevertheless called it "just another filler episode". Kuchman singled out Marshall's line, "I'm so sorry this journey has been a bummer," asking, "Is there a line that sums up this season more perfectly?" ''
The A.V. Club ''The A.V. Club'' is an American online newspaper and entertainment website featuring reviews, interviews, and other articles that examine films, music, television, books, games, and other elements of pop-culture media. ''The A.V. Club'' was cre ...
''s Donna Bowman graded the episode an A−, praising the writing, performances and the tight editing. Max Nicholson of IGN gave the episode 5.5/10, stating that while he commended the writers for following through on having an all-rhyming episode, he felt that the gimmick ended up falling flat. Nicholson noted that this episode, which does almost nothing to advance the plot, should have been used in another season rather than the final one. He added that, while he enjoyed the stories, he wished that Robin's had somehow tied into Ted and Barney's connected stories.


References


External links

* {{How I Met Your Mother episodes, 9 How I Met Your Mother (season 9) episodes 2013 American television episodes