Any Old Iron (song)
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"Any Old Iron" is a
British British may refer to: Peoples, culture, and language * British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories, and Crown Dependencies. ** Britishness, the British identity and common culture * British English, ...
music hall
song A song is a musical composition intended to be performed by the human voice. This is often done at distinct and fixed pitches (melodies) using patterns of sound and silence. Songs contain various forms, such as those including the repetit ...
written by Charles Collins, Fred E. Terry and E.A. Sheppard. Harry Champion sang it as part of his act, and recorded it in 1911.


Other versions

*In 1957,
Peter Sellers Peter Sellers (born Richard Henry Sellers; 8 September 1925 – 24 July 1980) was an English actor and comedian. He first came to prominence performing in the BBC Radio comedy series ''The Goon Show'', featured on a number of hit comic songs ...
recorded a rendition in a voice he created for ''
The Goon Show ''The Goon Show'' is a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme. The first series, broadcast from 28 May to 20 September 19 ...
'', Willium "Mate" Cobblers. It reached No. 17 in the
UK Singles Chart The UK Singles Chart (currently titled Official Singles Chart, with the upper section more commonly known as the Official UK Top 40) is compiled by the Official Charts Company (OCC), on behalf of the British record industry, listing the top-s ...
that year. Sellers had previously performed it as Major Dennis Bloodnok (with
Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish actor, comedian, writer, musician, poet, and playwright. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Colonial India, where he spent his ...
as Minnie Bannister) in a 1954 episode of ''The Goon Show'' entitled "The Booted Gorilla". *It was performed on ''
The Muppet Show ''The Muppet Show'' is a sketch comedy television series created by Jim Henson and featuring the Muppets. The series originated as two pilot episodes produced by Henson for ABC in 1974 and 1975. While neither episode was moved forward as a s ...
'' by
Kermit the Frog Kermit the Frog is a Muppet character created and originally performed by Jim Henson. Introduced in 1955, Kermit serves as the everyman protagonist of numerous Muppet productions, most notably ''Sesame Street'' and ''The Muppet Show'', as well ...
, joined by
Fozzie Bear Fozzie Bear is a Muppet character best known as the insecure and comedically fruitless stand-up comic on ''The Muppet Show.'' Fozzie is an orange-brown bear who often wears a brown pork pie hat and a pink and white polka dot necktie. The char ...
, two whatnots, and the audience. eason_2,_Episode_14_(Elton_John).html" ;"title="Elton_John.html" ;"title="eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John">eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John)">Elton_John.html" ;"title="eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John">eason 2, Episode 14 (Elton John)*It was performed by Roger Daltrey, accompanied by The Chieftains, in Belfast, Northern Ireland in 1992. A recording of the performance appears on the album ''An Irish Evening''. *It was included in ''The Boy Friend (musical), The Boy Friend'', a 1954 musical by
Sandy Wilson Alexander Galbraith "Sandy" Wilson (19 May 1924 – 27 August 2014) was an English composer and lyricist, best known for his musical '' The Boy Friend'' (1953). Biography Wilson was born in Sale, Cheshire, England, and was educated at Harrow S ...
. * It was also sung by
Lonnie Donegan Anthony James Donegan (29 April 1931 – 3 November 2002), known as Lonnie Donegan, was a British skiffle singer, songwriter and musician, referred to as the " King of Skiffle", who influenced 1960s British pop and rock musicians. Born in Scot ...
. * Herman's Hermits released a version as well. *In one episode of ''
Are You Being Served? ''Are You Being Served?'' is a British sitcom created and written by executive producer David Croft (Croft also directed some episodes) and Jeremy Lloyd, with contributions from Michael Knowles and John Chapman, for the BBC. Set in London ...
'', "The Hand of Fate", Mr. Mash cannot find the owner of a shipment of 27 galvanized buckets, and starts singing the song and accompanying himself by rattling the buckets around. * The Barron Knights used the tune and some of the lyrics of the song in a satire on punk, in the late 1970s. * The band
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included the song as a previously unreleased track on their 2005 compilation: ''Six Of One, Half A Dozen Of The Other 1986-2002''. *British comedian Bill Bailey, along with the
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, as part of his live show "Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra", mixed the song in as part of a "Cockney Arrangement" of the "
William Tell Overture The ''William Tell'' Overture is the overture to the opera '' William Tell'' (original French title ''Guillaume Tell''), whose music was composed by Gioachino Rossini. ''William Tell'' premiered in 1829 and was the last of Rossini's 39 operas, a ...
". *Somerset band
The Wurzels The Wurzels are an English Scrumpy and Western band from Somerset, England, best known for their number one hit " The Combine Harvester" and number three hit "I Am a Cider Drinker" in 1976. They are known for using British West Country phrases ...
sample the song's melody in their song Blackbird *The song was used, with different lyrics, in
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s for
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and Smoothrite paint.. Retrieved 30 June 2021. *In the
T-Bag ''T-Bag'' is a British television series about the eponymous witch-like character and her assistant, T-Shirt. The series ran from 1985 to 1992 on ''Children's ITV''. Written by Grant Cathro and Lee Pressman, each series adopted a different tit ...
series; 'T-Bag and the Revenge of the T-Set', in the third episode ('Lost in Space') the character; T-Shirt starts singing the first part of the song when T-Bag is using a metal detector. * There is a sequence in the movie '' Yellow Submarine'' when the "real" Beatles are confronted with their look-alikes trapped in a blue glass sphere, inspiring
John John is a common English name and surname: * John (given name) * John (surname) John may also refer to: New Testament Works * Gospel of John, a title often shortened to John * First Epistle of John, often shortened to 1 John * Secon ...
to go off on an abstruse invocation of Einstein's
Theory of relativity The theory of relativity usually encompasses two interrelated theories by Albert Einstein: special relativity and general relativity, proposed and published in 1905 and 1915, respectively. Special relativity applies to all physical phenomena in ...
, to which
Paul Paul may refer to: *Paul (given name), a given name (includes a list of people with that name) * Paul (surname), a list of people People Christianity *Paul the Apostle (AD c.5–c.64/65), also known as Saul of Tarsus or Saint Paul, early Chri ...
's response is to sing "Any old Ein! Any old Ein! Any any any old Einstein!" *
Scunthorpe United F.C. Scunthorpe United Football Club is a professional association football club based in the town of Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire, England. The side currently competes in the National League (division), National League, the fifth tier of the English foo ...
("The Iron") have adopted this song, and it is played before all of their home games. * In ''
Top Gear Top Gear may refer to: * "Top gear", the highest gear available in a vehicle's manual transmission Television * ''Top Gear'' (1977 TV series), a British motoring magazine programme * ''Top Gear'' (2002 TV series), a relaunched version of the or ...
'' Series 18, Jeremy and James sing the song in jest as Richard drives the old style Morgan 3-Wheeler through a corner. *There is a scene in the movie " Chaplin" where Charlie and Syd meet just before Charlie's audition for Mr. Karno. Charlie and Syd greet each other by singing the chorus to "Any Old Iron". *In the 2001 Steven Spielberg movie ''
A.I. Artificial Intelligence ''A.I. Artificial Intelligence'' (also known as ''A.I.'') is a 2001 American science fiction film directed by Steven Spielberg. The screenplay by Spielberg and screen story by Ian Watson were based on the 1969 short story "Supertoys Last All ...
'', while the rejected robots are being chased by the bikers for a "Flesh Fair", the commander of the illuminated hot-air balloon is repeatedly saying over a loudspeaker "Any old iron". *An episode in the fifth series of ''
Steptoe and Son ''Steptoe and Son'' is a British sitcom written by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson about a father-and-son rag-and-bone business in 26a Oil Drum Lane, a fictional street in Shepherd's Bush, London. Four series were broadcast by the BBC in black and w ...
'', which is set in a Rag-and-bone merchants' yard, is entitled "Any Old Iron", punning on the song title, (which is the traditional cry of those in the rag-and-bone trade), and the
Cockney rhyming slang Rhyming slang is a form of slang word construction in the English language. It is especially prevalent among Cockneys in England, and was first used in the early 19th century in the East End of London; hence its alternative name, Cockney rhymin ...
''iron'' meaning a male homosexual (''iron'' = ''iron hoof'' = ''poof''). In the story, Albert thinks his son Harold may have gay leanings.


References

1911 songs British songs Music hall songs Songs with music by Charles Collins (songwriter) {{1910s-song-stub