A polite fiction is a social scenario in which all participants are aware of a truth, but pretend to believe in some alternative version of events to avoid conflict or embarrassment. Polite fictions are closely related to
euphemism
A euphemism () is an innocuous word or expression used in place of one that is deemed offensive or suggests something unpleasant. Some euphemisms are intended to amuse, while others use bland, inoffensive terms for concepts that the user wishes ...
, in which a word or phrase that might be impolite, disagreeable, or offensive is replaced by another word or phrase that both speaker and listener understand to have the same meaning. In scholarly usage, "polite fiction" can be traced to at least 1953.
An informal example would be of someone who goes out drinking after telling their family that they are merely going for an evening walk to enjoy the night air. Even though many relatives involved know that the person is likely leaving to drink alcohol, and may come home drunk, they may act as if he/she is going out for a walk, and act as if they don't notice signs of alcohol intoxication when they return. Another common example is a couple that has had an argument, after which one of them absents themself from a subsequent social gathering, with the other claiming that they are ill, especially if this is a regular occurrence. In these instances, although people in the couple's social circle may have experienced this behavior numerous times and are aware that a problem of some sort exists in the relationship, they may remain silent for fear of upsetting the couple, thereby further troubling their relationship. This violates social norms (a human behavior related to
ethics codes
Ethical codes are adopted by organizations to assist members in understanding the difference between right and wrong and in applying that understanding to their decisions. An ethical code generally implies documents at three levels: codes of bus ...
and ethics clarity), and can be used to retain politeness and trust, with the effect of maintenance of social bonds and provision of ideological support.
Polite fictions can slip into
denial
Denial, in ordinary English usage, has at least three meanings: asserting that any particular statement or allegation is not true (which might be accurate or inaccurate); the refusal of a request; and asserting that a true statement is not true. ...
. This is especially the case when the fiction is actually meant to fool some observers, such as outsiders or children judged too young to be told the truth. The truth then becomes "the
elephant in the room
The expression “the elephant in the room” (or "the elephant in the living room") is a metaphorical idiom in English for an important or enormous topic, question, or controversial issue that is obvious or that everyone knows about but no one me ...
"; no matter how obvious it is, the people most affected pretend to others and to themselves that it is not so. This can be used to humorous effect in comedy, where a character will seem bent on making it impossible to maintain the polite fiction.
See also
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Diplomatic illness Diplomatic illness is the practice amongst diplomats and government ministers of feigning illness, or another debilitating condition, to avoid engaging in diplomatic or social engagements. The excuse of ill-health is designed to avoid formally offen ...
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Interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication is an exchange of information between two or more people. It is also an area of research that seeks to understand how humans use verbal and nonverbal cues to accomplish a number of personal and relational goals.
Inter ...
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Kayfabe
In professional wrestling, kayfabe, as a noun, is the portrayal of staged events within the industry as "real" or "true", specifically the portrayal of competition, rivalries, and relationships between participants as being genuine and not staged. ...
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Legal fiction
A legal fiction is a fact assumed or created by courts, which is then used in order to help reach a decision or to apply a legal rule. The concept is used almost exclusively in common law jurisdictions, particularly in England and Wales.
Devel ...
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Minimisation (psychology)
Minimisation or minimization is a type of deceptionGuerrero, L., Anderson, P., Afifi, W. (2007). ''Close Encounters: Communication in Relationships'' (2nd ed.). Los Angeles: Sage Publications. {{ISBN? involving denial coupled with rationalisation ...
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Obfuscation
Obfuscation is the obscuring of the intended meaning of communication by making the message difficult to understand, usually with confusing and ambiguous language. The obfuscation might be either unintentional or intentional (although intent ...
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Persuasive definition
A persuasive definition is a form of stipulative definition which purports to describe the true or commonly accepted meaning of a term, while in reality stipulating an uncommon or altered use, usually to support an argument for some view, or to c ...
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Polite lie
A lie is an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving or misleading someone. The practice of communicating lies is called lying. A person who communicates a lie may be termed a liar. Lies can be int ...
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White lie
A lie is an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving or misleading someone. The practice of communicating lies is called lying. A person who communicates a lie may be termed a liar. Lies can be inte ...
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What happens on tour, stays on tour
"What happens on tour, stays on tour" is a phrase or saying agreed to by persons who get together and travel either domestically or overseas for sporting tours. In essence, the phrase means that all exploits during the tour must be kept strictly ...
References
External links
Explanations of "polite fictions" in U.S. culture for Japanese visitors
Figures of speech
Etiquette
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