The Vogons are a fictional alien race from the planet Vogsphere in ''
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' (sometimes referred to as ''HG2G'', ''HHGTTG'', ''H2G2'', or ''tHGttG'') is a comic science fiction, comedy science fiction franchise created by Douglas Adams. Originally The Hitchhiker's Guide to th ...
''—initially a BBC Radio series by
Douglas Adams
Douglas Noel Adams (11 March 1952 – 11 May 2001) was an English author and screenwriter, best known for ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy''. Originally a 1978 BBC radio comedy, ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' developed into a " ...
—who are responsible for the destruction of the Earth, in order to facilitate an intergalactic highway construction project for a hyperspace express route. Vogons are slug-like but vaguely
humanoid
A humanoid (; from English ''human'' and ''-oid'' "resembling") is a non-human entity with human form or characteristics. The earliest recorded use of the term, in 1870, referred to indigenous peoples in areas colonized by Europeans. By the 20t ...
, are bulkier than humans, and have green skin. Vogons are described as "one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy—not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous", and having "as much sex appeal as a road accident" as well as being the authors of "the third worst poetry in the universe". They are employed as the galactic government's
bureaucrat
A bureaucrat is a member of a bureaucracy and can compose the administration of any organization of any size, although the term usually connotes someone within an institution of government.
The term ''bureaucrat'' derives from "bureaucracy", ...
s. According to
Marvin the Paranoid Android
Marvin the Paranoid Android is a fictional character in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series by Douglas Adams. Marvin is the ship's robot aboard the starship ''Heart of Gold''. Originally built as one of many failed prototypes of Sir ...
, they are also the worst
marksmen
A marksman is a person who is skilled in precision shooting using projectile weapons (in modern days most commonly an accurized scoped long gun such as designated marksman rifle or a sniper rifle) to shoot at high-value targets at longer-than-u ...
in the galaxy.
Description
Appearance and personality
Guide Description:
Vogons are roughly human-sized, although much bulkier, with green or grey skin. Their noses are above their eyebrows, which are either ginger (in the television series) or white (in the film). The film's commentary states that the idea behind the high flat noses was that they evolved both the noses and the severe bureaucracy from being repeatedly whacked by the paddle creatures under the sand on Vogsphere whenever they had an independent thought (in the film, the Vogon bureaucracy is centred on Vogsphere). In the radio series it is said that "Their highly domed nose rises above their small piggy forehead".
Garth Jennings
Garth Jennings (born 9 July 1972) is an English director, screenwriter and actor. Films he has directed include ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', ''Son of Rambow'', ''Sing'', and ''Sing 2''. He co-founded the production company Hammer ...
deliberately based his conception of the Vogons on the work of
cartoonist
A cartoonist is a visual artist who specializes in both drawing and writing cartoons (individual images) or comics (sequential images). Cartoonists differ from comics writers or comic book illustrators in that they produce both the literary and ...
James Gillray
James Gillray (13 August 1756Gillray, James and Draper Hill (1966). ''Fashionable contrasts''. Phaidon. p. 8.Baptism register for Fetter Lane (Moravian) confirms birth as 13 August 1756, baptism 17 August 1756 1June 1815) was a British caricatur ...
(1757–1815). "His creations were so grotesque...when we looked at them, we realised they ''were'' the Vogons".
Origins
The series tells that, far back in prehistory, when the first primeval Vogons crawled out of the sea, evolution gave up on them. Through sheer obstinacy, though, the Vogons survived (partly by adapting a misplaced, badly malformed, and
dyspeptic liver into a
brain
A brain is an organ that serves as the center of the nervous system in all vertebrate and most invertebrate animals. It is located in the head, usually close to the sensory organs for senses such as vision. It is the most complex organ in a v ...
). As the radio show says: "What nature refused to give to them, they did without. Until their myriad anatomical deficiencies could be rectified with surgery." They then emigrated ''en masse'' to the MeagaBrantis star cluster (although the film has them staying on Vogsphere), the political hub of the galaxy. They banish the ruling philosophers to the tax office to lick stamps and within a few short Voge years took over pretty much all of the galactic civil service, where they form most of the Galactic bureaucracy, most notably in the Vogon Constructor Fleets (which, despite their name, patrol the galaxy demolishing planets). The only named Vogons in the stories are Jeltz (see below),
Kwaltz
This page is a list of characters in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', by Douglas Adams. The descriptions of the characters are accompanied by information on details about appearances and references to the characters.
Main characters
...
(who appears in the film),
Zarniwoop
This page is a list of characters in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', by Douglas Adams. The descriptions of the characters are accompanied by information on details about appearances and references to the characters.
Main characters
...
, revealed to be a Vogon in the
Quintessential Phase
The Tertiary Phase, Quandary Phase, Quintessential Phase and Hexagonal Phase are respectively the third, fourth, fifth and sixth series of ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' radio series. Produced in 2003, 2004 and 2018 by Above the Title P ...
, and Jeltz's son Constant Mown.
Behaviour
Vogons are described as officiously bureaucratic, a line of work at which they perform so well that the entire galactic bureaucracy is run by them.
On Vogsphere, the Vogons would sit upon very elegant and beautiful
gazelle
A gazelle is one of many antelope species in the genus ''Gazella'' . This article also deals with the seven species included in two further genera, ''Eudorcas'' and ''Nanger'', which were formerly considered subgenera of ''Gazella''. A third f ...
-like creatures, whose backs would snap instantly if the Vogons tried to ride them. The Vogons were perfectly happy with just sitting on them. Another favourite Vogon pastime is to import millions of beautiful jewel-backed scuttling
crab
Crabs are decapod crustaceans of the infraorder Brachyura, which typically have a very short projecting "tail" (abdomen) ( el, βραχύς , translit=brachys = short, / = tail), usually hidden entirely under the thorax. They live in all the ...
s from their native planet, cut down giant trees of breathtaking beauty, and spend a happy drunken night smashing the crabs to bits with iron mallets and cooking the crab meat by burning the trees. In the movie, the Vogons seem to smash the crabs for no apparent reason besides pure pleasure at killing something.
Ford Prefect additionally tells Arthur Dent that Vogons lack the ability of thought or imagination, and some aren't even able to spell.
The Vogons' battle-cry, and counter-argument to dissent, is "resistance is useless!" (cf. "
Resistance is futile").
Poetry
Vogon poetry is described as "the third worst poetry in the Universe" (behind that of the Azgoths of Kria and that of
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
This page is a list of characters in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', by Douglas Adams. The descriptions of the characters are accompanied by information on details about appearances and references to the characters.
Main characters
...
, the latter of which was destroyed when the Earth was). The main example used in the story is a short piece composed by Jeltz, which roughly emulates
nonsense verse
Nonsense verse is a form of nonsense literature usually employing strong prosodic elements like rhythm and rhyme. It is often whimsical and humorous in tone and employs some of the techniques of nonsense literature.
Limericks are probably the b ...
in style (example below).
The story relates that listening to it is an experience similar to torture as demonstrated when
Arthur Dent
Arthur Philip Dent is a fictional character and the hapless protagonist of the comic science fiction series ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' by Douglas Adams.
In the radio, LP and television versions of the story, Arthur is played by ...
and
Ford Prefect
The Ford Prefect is a line of British cars which was produced by Ford UK between 1938 and 1961 as an upmarket version of the Ford Popular and Ford Anglia small family cars. It was introduced in October 1938 and remained in production until 19 ...
are forced to listen to the poetry (and say how much they liked it) prior to
being thrown out of an airlock.
:''"Oh freddled gruntbuggly,''
:''Thy micturations are to me''
:''As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.''
:''Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,''
:''And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,''
:''Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts''
:''With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"''
A second example of Vogon poetry is found in the Hitchhiker's Guide
interactive fiction game that was produced by
Infocom
Infocom was an American software company based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, that produced numerous works of interactive fiction. They also produced a business application, a relational database called ''Cornerstone (software), Cornerstone''.
...
; responding to the poetry forms a major part of game play. The first verse is as above; one version of the second verse follows:
:''"Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt.''
:''Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk!''
:''Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs.''
:''Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose."''
An unused extended version of the poem is also excerpted in
Neil Gaiman
Neil Richard MacKinnon GaimanBorn as Neil Richard Gaiman, with "MacKinnon" added on the occasion of his marriage to Amanda Palmer. ; ( Neil Richard Gaiman; born 10 November 1960) is an English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, gr ...
's book ''
Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Companion'', in Appendix III.
A third example appears in ''
The Quintessential Phase
The Tertiary Phase, Quandary Phase, Quintessential Phase and Hexagonal Phase are respectively the third, fourth, fifth and sixth series of ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' radio series. Produced in 2003, 2004 and 2018 by Above the Title ...
'' of the radio series, again written by Jeltz.
A fourth example appears in ''
And Another Thing...'', the sixth book in the trilogy written by
Eoin Colfer
Eoin Colfer (; born 14 May 1965) is an Irish author of children's books. He worked as a primary school teacher before he became a full-time writer. He is best known for being the author of the Artemis Fowl (series), ''Artemis Fowl'' series. I ...
. The poem is also written by Jeltz.
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
The Vogon Captain in charge of overseeing the destruction of the Earth, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is sadistic and unpleasant to look at, even by Vogon standards. He enjoys shouting at or executing members of his own crew for insubordination, and takes professional pride in his job of demolishing planets. He very rarely smiles: "Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz smiled very slowly. This was done not so much for effect as because he was trying to remember the sequence of muscle movements."
It is revealed in ''
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
''The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'' is the second book in the ''Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' comedy science fiction "trilogy" by Douglas Adams, and is a sequel. It was originally published by Pan Books as a paperback in 1980. ...
'' that Jeltz had been hired by
Gag Halfrunt
This page is a list of characters in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', by Douglas Adams. The descriptions of the characters are accompanied by information on details about appearances and references to the characters.
Main characters
...
to destroy the Earth (though in the film it was Zaphod who gave the order by mistake). Halfrunt had been acting on behalf of a consortium of psychiatrists and the Imperial Galactic Government in order to prevent the discovery of the
Ultimate Question. When Halfrunt learns that Arthur Dent escaped the planet's destruction, Jeltz is dispatched to track him down and destroy him. Jeltz is unable to complete this task, due to the intervention of
Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth
This page is a list of characters in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', by Douglas Adams. The descriptions of the characters are accompanied by information on details about appearances and references to the characters.
Main characters
...
, Zaphod's great-grandfather.
In ''
Mostly Harmless
''Mostly Harmless'' is a 1992 novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the ''Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series. It is described on the cover of the first edition as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers ...
'', Jeltz is once again responsible for the destruction of the Earth, after the Vogons infiltrate the Hitchhikers' Guide company offices to turn the Guide into a device capable of destroying all Earths in every dimension, this time presumably killing Arthur, Ford,
Trillian, and Arthur's daughter,
Random
In common usage, randomness is the apparent or actual lack of pattern or predictability in events. A random sequence of events, symbols or steps often has no :wikt:order, order and does not follow an intelligible pattern or combination. Ind ...
—a fate dodged by the characters in the
Quintessential Phase
The Tertiary Phase, Quandary Phase, Quintessential Phase and Hexagonal Phase are respectively the third, fourth, fifth and sixth series of ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' radio series. Produced in 2003, 2004 and 2018 by Above the Title P ...
.
"Prostetnic Vogon" may be a title, rather than part of his name, since during the second episode of the third radio series (Fit the Fourteenth), two other Prostetnic Vogons are heard from. Also, in ''
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
''The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'' is the second book in the ''Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' comedy science fiction "trilogy" by Douglas Adams, and is a sequel. It was originally published by Pan Books as a paperback in 1980. ...
'', Gag Halfrunt refers to Jeltz as "Captain of Vogons Prostetnic" (although this may have been a play on Halfrunt's accent).
Jeltz appears in:
*''
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' (sometimes referred to as ''HG2G'', ''HHGTTG'', ''H2G2'', or ''tHGttG'') is a comic science fiction, comedy science fiction franchise created by Douglas Adams. Originally The Hitchhiker's Guide to th ...
''
*''
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
''The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'' is the second book in the ''Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' comedy science fiction "trilogy" by Douglas Adams, and is a sequel. It was originally published by Pan Books as a paperback in 1980. ...
''
*''
Mostly Harmless
''Mostly Harmless'' is a 1992 novel by Douglas Adams and the fifth book in the ''Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' series. It is described on the cover of the first edition as "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers ...
''
*''
And Another Thing...''
*
''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' (computer game)
* The
Quintessential Phase
The Tertiary Phase, Quandary Phase, Quintessential Phase and Hexagonal Phase are respectively the third, fourth, fifth and sixth series of ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' radio series. Produced in 2003, 2004 and 2018 by Above the Title P ...
.
In the first radio series, he was played by
Bill Wallis
William Wallis (20 November 1936 – 6 September 2013) was a British character actor and comedian who appeared in numerous radio and television roles, as well as in the theatre.
Biography
Wallis was born in Guildford in Surrey, the only son of A ...
, who also voiced
Mr Prosser. Writer
Marcus O'Dair found this "an appropriate casting decision since the character is, to an extent, Jeltz's Earth-bound alter ego."
[ On television, the Vogon was portrayed by Martin Benson. In the third, fourth and fifth radio series, he was played by ]Toby Longworth
Toby Longworth is a British actor who has appeared on film, radio and television. He is originally from Somerset, where he attended King Edward's School, Bath. He has worked most often as a voice actor, however, notably in several science-ficti ...
, although Longworth did not receive a credit for the role during the third series. In the film, he is voiced by Richard Griffiths
Richard Thomas Griffiths (31 July 1947 – 28 March 2013) was an English actor of film, television, and stage. For his performance in the stage play ''The History Boys'', Griffiths won a Tony Award, a Laurence Olivier Award, the Drama Desk Aw ...
. In cartoon he is voiced by Rupert Degas
Rupert Joel Degas (born 17 August 1970) is an Anglo-Australian actor. He is best known for his voice work in animation and audiobooks. Since the 1980s, he has worked in audiobooks, film, podcasts, radio productions, television, theatre, and vid ...
.
Ronald E. Rice and Stephen D. Cooper considered Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz as a literary example of dysfunctional behaviour that may be facilitated by bureaucracies, comparable to the servants in Franz Kafka
Franz Kafka (3 July 1883 – 3 June 1924) was a German-speaking Bohemian novelist and short-story writer, widely regarded as one of the major figures of 20th-century literature. His work fuses elements of realism and the fantastic. It ...
's novel '' The Castle'' and the bureaucrats in Terry Gilliam
Terrence Vance Gilliam (; born 22 November 1940) is an American-born British filmmaker, comedian, animator, actor and former member of the Monty Python comedy troupe.
Gilliam has directed 13 feature films, including ''Time Bandits'' (1981), ''B ...
's movie ''Brazil
Brazil ( pt, Brasil; ), officially the Federative Republic of Brazil (Portuguese: ), is the largest country in both South America and Latin America. At and with over 217 million people, Brazil is the world's fifth-largest country by area ...
'': they "all fulfill their job descriptions and use resources so efficiently that there is no recourse for the innocent, efficient, altruistic, or reasonable".
Spacecraft
The ships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet were described as "impossibly huge yellow somethings" (the colour being a parallel to bulldozer
A bulldozer or dozer (also called a crawler) is a large, motorized machine equipped with a metal blade to the front for pushing material: soil, sand, snow, rubble, or rock during construction work. It travels most commonly on continuous track ...
s that demolish Arthur's house) that "looked more like they had been congealed than constructed" and "hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't"; they are said to be undetectable to radar
Radar is a detection system that uses radio waves to determine the distance (''ranging''), angle, and radial velocity of objects relative to the site. It can be used to detect aircraft, ships, spacecraft, guided missiles, motor vehicles, w ...
and capable of travel through hyperspace
In science fiction, hyperspace (also known as nulspace, subspace, overspace, jumpspace and similar terms) is a concept relating to higher dimensions as well as parallel universes and a faster-than-light (FTL) method of interstellar travel. ...
. They are not crewed exclusively by Vogons; a species known as the Dentrassi are responsible for on-board catering.
In the television version of the story, the craft are shaped like battleship
A battleship is a large armored warship with a main battery consisting of large caliber guns. It dominated naval warfare in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
The term ''battleship'' came into use in the late 1880s to describe a type of ...
s, albeit with a flat bottom through which the demolition beams are fired. In the film version, the craft are grey and cubic, a continuation of the emphasis on bureaucracy
The term bureaucracy () refers to a body of non-elected governing officials as well as to an administrative policy-making group. Historically, a bureaucracy was a government administration managed by departments staffed with non-elected offi ...
in the Vogons' conception: "Douglas dams
A dam is a barrier that stops or restricts the flow of surface water or underground streams. Reservoirs created by dams not only suppress floods but also provide water for activities such as irrigation, human consumption, industrial use, ...
s description of the Vogon ships hanging in the air in much the same way that bricks don't ed to
Ed, ed or ED may refer to:
Arts and entertainment
* ''Ed'' (film), a 1996 film starring Matt LeBlanc
* Ed (''Fullmetal Alchemist'') or Edward Elric, a character in ''Fullmetal Alchemist'' media
* ''Ed'' (TV series), a TV series that ran fro ...
these Vogon ships which are these massive concrete tower block
A tower block, high-rise, apartment tower, residential tower, apartment block, block of flats, or office tower is a tall building
A building, or edifice, is an enclosed structure with a roof and walls standing more or less permanently ...
s, with hardly any windows, they just have a few doors around the base," says Joel Collins.
Analysis and reception
The name Vogons is a new lexeme
A lexeme () is a unit of lexical meaning that underlies a set of words that are related through inflection. It is a basic abstract unit of meaning, a unit of morphological analysis in linguistics that roughly corresponds to a set of forms taken ...
, a word newly created by Douglas Adams that does not conform to a pattern of word formation. Stephen Webb found the appearance of this first alien race that features in ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' also "suitably strange, as aliens should be". The Vogons' behaviour in contrast turns out to be "full of very human—and specifically English—flaws and tendencies", to the point that Amanda Dillon considered them "probably the least othered alien in Adams's work". The Vogons are an easily reconizable satire of human middle-management culture and bureaucracy. Dillon found them "Adams's most fully formed direct parody of the alien, and this makes them a source of laughter rather than fear".[ The "silliness of Vogon bureaucracy" in its exaggeration is represented by "Adams's clever use of bathos" when he first uses very technical terms to describe their organizational processes but concludes with incongrously mundane words.][ For Vogons bureaucracy is an end-in-itself, "at which human and logic fail"] and which intends to thwart real progress,[ making the scenes of interaction with these aliens "absurd".][ Marilette Van der Colff also noted that the failure "to notice its destructive influence on nature" by the management and the unconcerned and sometimes deliberate destruction of animal species by humans in general is reflected in the Vogons.][
Marcus O'Dair praised the realization in the movie: "In this format, the Vogons really come into their own, their flattened faces, hunched backs and hopelessly overhanging bellies partly inspired by the work of eigheenth-century satirical catoonist James Gillray."][ Author Martin Thomas Pesl included the Vogons in his list of the 100 most brilliant villains in world literature, under the category of despots. In his analysis of the depiction of extraterrestials, Stephen Webb considered the Vogons "engaging aliens" despite their unpleasent traits, as they parodied middle-management behaviour so well that "I can't help but like them".][
]
In other media
''Vogons'' was an Atari 130XE
The Atari 8-bit family is a series of 8-bit home computers introduced by Atari, Inc. in 1979 as the Atari 400 and Atari 800. The series was successively upgraded to Atari 1200XL , Atari 600XL, Atari 800XL, Atari 65XE, Atari 130XE, Atari 800XE ...
game, the goal being to avoid three "dreaded Vogons" moving quickly around the screen.
References
External links
BBC's page on Vogon Poetry
with
Vogon Poem Generator (no longer active)
{{HitchhikerBooks
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy characters
Fictional mass murderers
Fictional poets
Fictional extraterrestrial life forms
Literary characters introduced in 1979
Fictional civil servants
Fictional torturers
Bureaucracy in fiction
Literary villains