In the social context of
dating
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...
, treating is the practice of providing companionship and intimate activity in exchange for entertainment outings, gifts, and other items of monetary value, such as tickets and clothes. The activity was prevalent in the large urban areas of the
United States
The United States of America (U.S.A. or USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territorie ...
from the 1890s to the 1940s and was most commonly engaged in by young
working-class women. As treating became more widespread, the activity acquired the label "charity," and the young women who engaged in the more risqué aspects of the practice were often called charity girls.
[ Clement, Elizabeth Alice. ''Love for Sale: Courting, Treating, and Prostitution in New York City, 1900–1945'' (Chapel Hill, NC: The University of North Carolina Press, 2006), pp. 1, 48–49.]
Although some reformers in the early 20th century equated treating with prostitution, the young women who engaged in the activity strongly rejected this view and drew sharp distinctions between the two. As social dating between the sexes became more standard in the 1920s, treating began to blend with the system of dating and by the 1940s the specific language of treating had largely disappeared.
Etymology and usage
The word "treating" began as a political term with the practice of "providing" understood as a means to influence people and gain benefits. In modern usage, it is generally defined as the act of providing food, drink, and entertainment to an individual or a group free of charge. (See the article "
treating :''This is an article about treating in the sense of provision of food, drink, and refreshments for a person or group of people. For treating in the context of social dating, see treating (dating).''
Treating is the act of serving food, drink, and ...
" for details). The word's use as a verb in a social context is believed to have originated in the male sphere of saloons when individuals would treat each other to another round of drinks. Around the turn of the nineteenth century, young working-class women who were seeking language for their interactions and bartering with young men, adopted the word.
Similar to the activity in the saloon, the practice of "to treat" evolved to mean the providing of something by a man to a woman, the women being the recipient of the "treat." In the early 20th century, two words emerged to describe this barter behavior between young men and women: "treating" and "charity."
Origin
Treating came about with the birth of leisure time in the late nineteenth century. It emerged about the same time cheap amusements in cities gave working-class men and women opportunities to enjoy new aspects of city life away from cramped
tenements
A tenement is a type of building shared by multiple dwellings, typically with flats or apartments on each floor and with shared entrance stairway access. They are common on the British Isles, particularly in Scotland. In the medieval Old Town, i ...
and noisy, oppressive workplaces. For young women, the issue was how to afford the new entertainments, and one solution which materialized was treating.
Cheap amusements
In the late 19th century, inexpensive entertainment venues, such as public
dance halls
Dance hall in its general meaning is a hall for dancing. From the earliest years of the twentieth century until the early 1960s, the dance hall was the popular forerunner of the discothèque or nightclub. The majority of towns and cities in ...
, amusement parks, and
nickelodeon movie theaters, emerged and flourished in large American cities. At the same time, changing societal mores allowed more young women who previously had to be escorted in public more freedom to go out on their own or in same-sex groups. Although the cheap amusements were a major draw, going out for young working-class women still proved difficult due to their low wages, a portion of which was more often than not handed over to support the family. This lack-of-money issue was dealt with in various ways: some women refrained from going out altogether or limited going out to special occasions, while others depended on friends or their male counterparts to finance their entertainment pleasures. Inevitably, as more young women regularly went out, some found it necessary to depend on males for their entertainment and fun. As such, the practice of treating by young working-class women emerged.
Bartered exchange
The practice of treating ranged from the innocent bartered exchange to the more scandalous. It was seen as a harmless activity when conducted between a “
steady” couple and more risqué when performed on a casual basis. Often the treating exchange was a tacit understanding with nuanced communication. However, even with little communication, young women well understood they were indebted to a certain extent to the men who treated. Like any interaction between a couple, whether tacit or not, sometimes it went smoothly with each party pleased with the outcome; other times, it did not. Occasionally, because men were sometimes tricked by women who skipped out after being provided a meal or an evening out, the exchange was more direct, for example a man asking directly what he would get in return. Unlike prostitution, in the treating exchange there was no guarantee the man would get what he wanted.
Young women who wanted more from the exchange—clothes, shoes, jewelry, or payment of bills—often engaged in the more risqué forms of treating. This may have involved, for example, being picked up from a dance hall or other venue and offering companionship for the evening, sometimes up to and including sexual favors. The women who engaged in the more risqué activities were referred to as charity girls. Cash was very rarely used in the treating transaction; that was considered an aspect of prostitution. The young women who engaged in treating did not see themselves as prostitutes, and, in fact, drew sharp distinctions between the two, but they often walked a fine line between being treated and being paid for their intimate activity.
Treating was predominantly practiced by young working-class women. It was seldom taken up by young women of middle- or upper-class means as members of those classes generally could afford their own entertainments. The activity was largely confined to the large urban areas of the United States as cities contained the entertainment venues and offered, as well, a degree of anonymity against prying family members and watchful neighbors. Treating differed from
gold digging in that it was mainly a dating practice utilized to enjoy the entertainments and pleasures of city life and to acquire, perhaps, some desired personal items. To be sure, some women took "charity" a step further, but finding a wealthy man to marry, or becoming a
mistress
Mistress is the feminine form of the English word "master" (''master'' + ''-ess'') and may refer to:
Romance and relationships
* Mistress (lover), a term for a woman who is in a sexual and romantic relationship with a man who is married to a d ...
, was generally not the goal of the treating exchange.
Societal problem
As the practice of treating by young women became more widely known, it attracted the attention of reformers and vice squads who were alarmed by the activity. It was considered nothing less than outright
prostitution
Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in Sex work, sexual activity in exchange for payment. The definition of "sexual activity" varies, and is often defined as an activity requiring physical contact (e.g., sexual intercourse, n ...
by some. Entertainment venues, such as dance halls, where young men and women interacted came under close scrutiny. The
taxi-dance halls where young women hostesses could be danced with for a modest sum per dance, usually ten cents, drew the particular ire of reformers, and some venues were shut down.
[ Clement, Elizabeth Alice. ''Love for Sale: Courting, Treating, and Prostitution in New York City, 1900–1945'' (Chapel Hill, NC: The University of North Carolina Press, 2006), pp. 177–193.]
Treating in popular culture
The protagonist of the
Broadway
Broadway may refer to:
Theatre
* Broadway Theatre (disambiguation)
* Broadway theatre, theatrical productions in professional theatres near Broadway, Manhattan, New York City, U.S.
** Broadway (Manhattan), the street
**Broadway Theatre (53rd Stree ...
musical ''
Sweet Charity
''Sweet Charity'' is a musical with music by Cy Coleman, lyrics by Dorothy Fields and book by Neil Simon. It was directed and choreographed for Broadway by Bob Fosse starring his wife and muse Gwen Verdon alongside John McMartin. It is based on ...
'', Charity Hope Valentine, was a
taxi-dancer
A taxi dancer is a paid dance partner in a partner dance. Taxi dancers are hired to dance with their customers on a dance-by-dance basis. When taxi dancing first appeared in taxi-dance halls during the early 20th century in the United States, mal ...
and likely charity girl. In the show, the title character is all too "charitable" but has a heart of gold. The musical was later adapted to the
movie
A film also called a movie, motion picture, moving picture, picture, photoplay or (slang) flick is a work of visual art that simulates experiences and otherwise communicates ideas, stories, perceptions, feelings, beauty, or atmosphere ...
of the same name, directed by
Bob Fosse
Robert Louis Fosse (; June 23, 1927 – September 23, 1987) was an American actor, choreographer, dancer, and film and stage director. He directed and choreographed musical works on stage and screen, including the stage musicals ''The Pajam ...
.
In
Truman Capote
Truman Garcia Capote ( ; born Truman Streckfus Persons; September 30, 1924 – August 25, 1984) was an American novelist, screenwriter, playwright and actor. Several of his short stories, novels, and plays have been praised as literary classics, ...
's ''
Breakfast at Tiffany's'', the
dating
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. It falls into the categor ...
activities of protagonist Holly Golightly closely resemble treating. Holly isn't employed, so to support her
New York City
New York, often called New York City or NYC, is the List of United States cities by population, most populous city in the United States. With a 2020 population of 8,804,190 distributed over , New York City is also the L ...
lifestyle she has to depend on gifts and assistance from the men in her life. In a March 1968 interview with
Playboy
''Playboy'' is an American men's lifestyle and entertainment magazine, formerly in print and currently online. It was founded in Chicago in 1953, by Hugh Hefner and his associates, and funded in part by a $1,000 loan from Hefner's mother.
K ...
, Capote asserted that Holly was not a prostitute and instead labeled her, and other young women like her, "authentic American
geisha
{{Culture of Japan, Traditions, Geisha
{{nihongo, Geisha, 芸者 ({{IPAc-en, ˈ, ɡ, eɪ, ʃ, ə; {{IPA-ja, ɡeːɕa, lang), also known as {{nihongo, , 芸子, geiko (in Kyoto and Kanazawa) or {{nihongo, , 芸妓, geigi, are a class of female ...
s." He noted that "if
olly Olly, like the similarly spelt Ollie, is a variant of the given names Olivia and Oliver. Notable people and characters with this form of the name include:
People
* Olly Alexander (born 1990), British musician, actor, television presenter and LG ...
felt like it, she might take her escort home for the night." Capote, who wrote ''Breakfast at Tiffany's'' in the late 1950s, may not have realized the behavior he ascribed to Holly was previously known as treating, as by then the earlier language used to describe the activity had largely disappeared from the American vernacular. In 1961, the novella was adapted into the
eponymous film, directed by
Blake Edwards
Blake Edwards (born William Blake Crump; July 26, 1922 – December 15, 2010) was an American film director, producer, screenwriter and actor.
Edwards began his career in the 1940s as an actor, but he soon began writing screenplays and radio s ...
and featuring
Audrey Hepburn
Audrey Hepburn (born Audrey Kathleen Ruston; 4 May 1929 – 20 January 1993) was a British actress and humanitarian. Recognised as both a film and fashion icon, she was ranked by the American Film Institute as the AFI's 100 Years...100 Stars, t ...
as Holly.
See also
*
Casual sex
Casual sex is sexual activity that takes place outside a romantic relationship and implies an absence of commitment, emotional attachment, or familiarity between sexual partners. Examples are sexual activity while casually dating, one-night ...
*
Enjo kōsai
is a type of transactional relationship similar to the western equivalent being a call girl of Sugaring. It is the Japanese language term for the practice of older men giving money and/or luxury gifts to attractive young women for sexual favors ...
*
Gold digging
*
Prostitution
Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in Sex work, sexual activity in exchange for payment. The definition of "sexual activity" varies, and is often defined as an activity requiring physical contact (e.g., sexual intercourse, n ...
*
Sugar dating
Sugar dating, also called sugaring, is a relationship of an older wealthy person and a younger person who is in need of financial assistance. This sometimes achieves mutual benefits, but is often abused to take advantage of and coerce poor peop ...
*
Transactional sex
Transactional sex refers to sexual relationships where the giving and/or receiving of gifts, money or other services is an important factor. The participants do not necessarily frame themselves in terms of prostitutes/clients, but often as girlfri ...
Further reading
* McBee, Randy D. ''Dance Hall Days: Intimacy and Leisure among Working-Class Immigrants in the United States'' (New York: New York University Press, 2000)
* Lowenthal, Michael. ''Charity Girl'' (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2007)
istorical fiction* Antonizzi, Barbara. ''The Wayward Woman: Progressivism, Prostitution, and Performance in the United States, 1888–1917'' (Fairleigh Dickinson University Press, 2014)
References
{{Interpersonal relationships footer
1910s in the United States
1920s in the United States
Casual sex
Dating
Human sexuality
Prostitution
Sexuality and society
Underground culture