The Reverend Thomas Bastard (1565/1566 – April 19, 1618) was an

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clergyman famed for his published English language

epigram An epigram is a brief, interesting, memorable, and sometimes surprising or satirical statement. The word is derived from the Greek "inscription" from "to write on, to inscribe", and the literary device has been employed for over two mille ...

Life

Born in

Blandford Forum Blandford Forum ( ), commonly Blandford, is a market town in Dorset, England, sited by the River Stour, Dorset, River Stour about northwest of Poole. It was the administrative headquarters of North Dorset District until April 2019, when this ...

Dorset Dorset ( ; archaically: Dorsetshire , ) is a county in South West England on the English Channel coast. The ceremonial county comprises the unitary authority areas of Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole and Dorset (unitary authority), Dors ...

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, Bastard is best known for seven books of 285 epigrams entitled ''Chrestoleros'' published in 1598. He initially attended

Winchester College Winchester College is a public school (fee-charging independent day and boarding school) in Winchester, Hampshire, England. It was founded by William of Wykeham in 1382 and has existed in its present location ever since. It is the oldest of the ...

. Subsequently he began studying at

New College, Oxford New College is one of the constituent colleges of the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom. Founded in 1379 by William of Wykeham in conjunction with Winchester College as its feeder school, New College is one of the oldest colleges at th ...

, on 27 August 1586. By 1588, he was assigned as a perpetual Fellow of New College. Though later expelled from his Fellowship, Bastard still received a BA in 1590, and an MA 16 years later in 1606. Bastard became notorious for libeling the sexual doings of various

Oxford Oxford () is a city in England. It is the county town and only city of Oxfordshire. In 2020, its population was estimated at 151,584. It is north-west of London, south-east of Birmingham and north-east of Bristol. The city is home to the ...

clergy and academics via a published tract entitled ''An Admonition to the city of Oxford, &c''. Despite disavowing authorship, he was nonetheless expelled from his Oxford fellowship in 1591. He still maintained a few supporters and admirers, primarily, Sir Charles Blount, Lord Mountjoy who appointed him as a

chaplain A chaplain is, traditionally, a cleric (such as a Minister (Christianity), minister, priest, pastor, rabbi, purohit, or imam), or a laity, lay representative of a religious tradition, attached to a secularity, secular institution (such as a hosp ...

, and

Thomas Howard, 1st Earl of Suffolk Thomas Howard, 1st Earl of Suffolk, (24 August 156128 May 1626) of Audley End House in the parish of Saffron Walden in Essex, and of Suffolk House near Westminster, a member of the House of Howard, was the second son of Thomas Howard, 4th D ...

who appointed him

vicar A vicar (; Latin: ''vicarius'') is a representative, deputy or substitute; anyone acting "in the person of" or agent for a superior (compare "vicarious" in the sense of "at second hand"). Linguistically, ''vicar'' is cognate with the English pref ...

Bere Regis Bere Regis () is a village and civil parish in Dorset, England, situated north-west of Wareham. In the 2011 census the civil parish had a population of 1,745. The village has one shop, a family-owned cheese barn, a post office, and two pubs ...

and later, in 1606, Rector of Almer in Dorset. Bastard was married three times. He died impoverished in the

debtor's prison A debtors' prison is a prison for people who are unable to pay debt. Until the mid-19th century, debtors' prisons (usually similar in form to locked workhouses) were a common way to deal with unpaid debt in Western Europe.Cory, Lucinda"A Historic ...

at Allhallows parish, Dorchester, and was buried in parish churchyard.

Death

Prior to Bastard's death, admirer Sir John Harrington said in a poem: :"To Master Bastard, a minister, that made a pleasant Book of English Epigrams: ::You must in pulpit treat of matters serious; ::As it beseems the person and the place; ::There preach of faith, repentance, hope, and grace; ::Of sacraments, and such high things mysterious: ::But they are too severe, and too imperious, ::That unto honest sports will grant no space. ::For these our minds refresh, those weary us, ::And spur out doubled spirit to swifter pace."

Sources

*"Bastard, Thomas" in S. Austin Allibone. ''A Critical Dictionary of English Literature and British and American Authors Living and Deceased from the Earliest Accounts to the Latter Half of the Nineteenth Century''. J.B. Lippincott Company, Philadelphia, London, c1886, vol. 1, p. 139. (OCLC )
Full-text at Internet Archive
*"Bastard, Thomas" in ''

Oxford Dictionary of National Biography The ''Dictionary of National Biography'' (''DNB'') is a standard work of reference on notable figures from British history, published since 1885. The updated ''Oxford Dictionary of National Biography'' (''ODNB'') was published on 23 September ...

in Association with the British Academy: from the Earliest Times to the Year 2000''.

Oxford University Press Oxford University Press (OUP) is the university press of the University of Oxford. It is the largest university press in the world, and its printing history dates back to the 1480s. Having been officially granted the legal right to print books ...

, Oxford (England), New York, c2004, p. 281 (), (OCLC ) {{DEFAULTSORT:Bastard, Thomas 1560s births 1618 deaths People from Blandford Forum People educated at Winchester College Alumni of New College, Oxford Fellows of New College, Oxford 16th-century English clergy 17th-century English Anglican priests Epigrammatists