''Things'' is a 1989 Canadian
independent
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* Independ ...
direct-to-video
Direct-to-video or straight-to-video refers to the release of a film, TV series, short or special to the public immediately on home video formats rather than an initial theatrical release or television premiere. This distribution strategy was p ...
horror film
Horror is a film genre that seeks to elicit fear or disgust in its audience for entertainment purposes.
Horror films often explore dark subject matter and may deal with transgressive topics or themes. Broad elements include monsters, apoca ...
, directed by Andrew Jordan and written by Jordan and Barry J. Gillis.
[Lentz, Harris M. ]
Science Fiction, Horror & Fantasy Film and Television
', McFarland McFarland may refer to:
People
*McFarland (surname)
Places in the United States
*McFarland, California, a city
*McFarland, Kansas, a city
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* USS ''McFarland'' (DD-237) ...
, 2nd edition, 1598 pages, (2000), (for Volume 1); 0-7864-0951-7 (for Volume 2); (for Volume 3) The film is considered
one of the worst films of all time.
Plot
Don and Fred decide to visit the house of Doug, Don's brother. They're unaware that Doug and his wife Susan have been participating in wild experiments in order to have a child. While they're looking for some beer the two men discover a book written by Aleister Crowley and a tape recorder, which plays strange sounds. Hearing the tape, Doug storms in and scolds them before joining them in their drinking. Meanwhile Susan gives birth to bizarre creatures before dying. These creatures then infest the house and attack the men. Fred disappears, leaving Don and Doug to fight the creatures. Don accidentally kills Doug while trying to hit a creature on his back; he is later shown revived, baffling Don before disappearing. Doug briefly re-appears with a chainsaw before also disappearing. Don runs into the doctor who was conducting the experiments on Susan, who accuses him of murdering everyone. Don seemingly manages to escape the house. The film ends with the note "You have just experienced Things".
Production
''Things'' is reportedly the "first Canadian shot-on-
Super 8 gore shocker commercially released on
VHS." Shot in the
Toronto
Toronto ( ; or ) is the capital city of the Canadian province of Ontario. With a recorded population of 2,794,356 in 2021, it is the most populous city in Canada and the fourth most populous city in North America. The city is the ancho ...
suburb of
Scarborough, Ontario
Scarborough (; 2021 Census 629,941) is a district of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It is situated atop the Scarborough Bluffs in the eastern part of the city. Its borders are Victoria Park Avenue to the west, Steeles Avenue to the north, Rouge R ...
, the cast consisted of co-writer Barry J. Gillis and
pornographic film
Pornographic films (pornos), erotic films, sex films, and 18+ films are films that present sexually explicit subject matter in order to arouse and satisfy the viewer. Pornographic films present sexual fantasies and usually include eroticall ...
star
Amber Lynn
Amber Lynn (born Laura Lynn Allen; September 3, 1964) is an American pornographic film actress and mainstream actress, radio host, model, exotic dancer, advocate and humanitarian.
Early life
Lynn was born Laura Lynn Allen in Orange, Californ ...
.
The plot follows two friends in a remote cabin who "discover a womb of monstrous horror that demands graphic dismemberment".
Release
In 1989, ''Things'' was released
direct-to-video
Direct-to-video or straight-to-video refers to the release of a film, TV series, short or special to the public immediately on home video formats rather than an initial theatrical release or television premiere. This distribution strategy was p ...
. It was released on
DVD
The DVD (common abbreviation for Digital Video Disc or Digital Versatile Disc) is a digital optical disc data storage format. It was invented and developed in 1995 and first released on November 1, 1996, in Japan. The medium can store any kind ...
in 2008,
and was re-released on home media in 2011. In 2021,
Joe Bob Briggs
John Irving Bloom (born January 27, 1953), known by the stage name Joe Bob Briggs, is an American syndicated film critic, writer, actor, and comic performer. He is known for having hosted ''Joe Bob's Drive-in Theater'' on The Movie Channel fro ...
hosted the film on
The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs
''The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs'' is an American variety streaming television series created by Joe Bob Briggs, Austin Jennings, and Matt Manjourides for Shudder.
Briggs was known for hosting ''Joe Bob's Drive-in Theater'' and '' Monste ...
. The episode featuring the movie was subsequently released on VHS in 2022. It has also been featured at
film festivals
A film festival is an organized, extended presentation of films in one or more cinemas or screening venues, usually in a single city or region. Increasingly, film festivals show some films outdoors. Films may be of recent date and, depending upo ...
.
Reception and legacy
Since its release, ''Things'' has gained a reputation as being
one of the worst films ever made. Critics from ''
The Beachwood Reporter
''The Beachwood Reporter'' is a web publication based in Chicago, Illinois, United States that focuses on cultural criticism and critiques of Chicago's news outlets. It was launched on February 27, 2006. The publication shared the Society of P ...
'', ''
Dread Central
Dread Central is an American website founded in 2006 that is dedicated to horror news, interviews, and reviews. It covers horror films, comics, novels, and toys. Dread Central has won the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award for Best Website f ...
'' and ''
Cinema Sewer'' each described it as being the worst film ever made.
Adam Symchuk of ''
Screen Rant
''Screen Rant'' is an entertainment website that offers news in the fields of television, films, video games, and film theories. ''Screen Rant'' was launched by Vic Holtreman in 2003, and originally had its primary office in Ogden, Utah. ''Scr ...
'' writes: "While films like ''
The Room
''The Room'' is a 2003 American drama film written, produced, executive produced and directed by Tommy Wiseau, who stars in the film alongside Juliette Danielle and Greg Sestero. The film centers on a melodramatic love triangle between amiable ...
'' and ''
Birdemic
''Birdemic: Shock and Terror'' (often shortened to ''Birdemic'') is a 2010 American independent romantic thriller- horror film written, directed, and executive produced by James Nguyen, and starring Alan Bagh and Whitney Moore. Inspired by Alf ...
'' seem to be constant contenders for the best 'so bad it's good' movie,
'Things''is the true unheralded champion among many
cinephiles." Likewise, a review from
DVD Verdict
DVD Verdict was a judicial-themed website for DVD reviews. The site was founded in 1999. The editor-in-chief was Michael Stailey, who owned the website between 2004 and 2016, and the site employed a large editorial staff of critics, whose reviews ...
wrote that the film was "a treasure for those who like to revel in the worst of the worst." Meanwhile, J Hurtado of
Screen Anarchy
Screen Anarchy, previously known as Twitch Film or Twitch, is a Canadian English-language website featuring news and reviews of mainly international, independent and cult films. The website was founded in 2004 by Todd Brown. In addition to films, ...
described it as "critically unassailable" and
Will Pfeifer
Will may refer to:
Common meanings
* Will and testament, instructions for the disposition of one's property after death
* Will (philosophy), or willpower
* Will (sociology)
* Will, volition (psychology)
* Will, a modal verb - see Shall and will ...
opined that "It's so terrible I can’t think of another movie that even comes close."
Caelum Vatnsdal
Caelum Vatnsdal (born 1970) is a Canadian writer and filmmaker.Randall King ''Winnipeg Free Press'', November 24, 2012. He is most noted for his books ''They Came From Within: A History of Canadian Horror Cinema'' (2004), a comprehensive study of C ...
, author of ''They Came From Within: A History of Canadian Horror Cinema'', wrote that ''Things'' is "the worst Canadian horror film ever made". In his book ''Spinegrinder: The Movies Most Critics Won't Write About'', Clive Davies stated that, while ''Things'' was a strong contender for the title of "best worst movie", it is not well known outside of its
cult following
A cult following refers to a group of fans who are highly dedicated to some person, idea, object, movement, or work, often an artist, in particular a performing artist, or an artwork in some medium. The lattermost is often called a cult classic. ...
.
''Things'' was also reviewed by
RedLetterMedia
Red Letter Media, LLC is an American film and video production company operated by independent filmmakers Mike Stoklasa (formerly of GMP Pictures) and Jay Bauman (formerly of Blanc Screen Cinema). It was formed by Stoklasa in 2004 while he was li ...
on an episode of ''Half in the Bag'' in 2013, and
RiffTrax
RiffTrax is an American company that produces scripted humorous commentary tracks which are synced to mostly public domain feature films, education shorts, and television episodes. With the talents of former ''Mystery Science Theater 3000'' (''M ...
spoofed it on March 4, 2022, with the latter concluding that "It’s definitive, universal… the worst movie we’ve ever done".
RiffTrax: THINGS (HD Trailer) - RiffTrax on YouTube
/ref>
References
External links
Official website
*
*
Excerpt of RiffTrax treatment on official YouTube channel
{{DEFAULTSORT:Things (Film)
1989 films
Camcorder films
1989 direct-to-video films
1989 horror films
1980s exploitation films
1989 independent films
1980s monster movies
Canadian monster movies
Direct-to-video horror films
English-language Canadian films
Films shot in Ontario
1980s English-language films
Canadian direct-to-video films
1980s Canadian films