''The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything'' is a collection of television comedy sketches, produced in 1999, broadcast in two parts on 2 and 4 January 2000 on

BBC One BBC One is a British free-to-air public broadcast television network owned and operated by the BBC. It is the corporation's flagship network and is known for broadcasting mainstream programming, which includes BBC News television bulletins, ...

. Based on well-known historical events, it took its title and concept from the 1969

London Weekend Television London Weekend Television (LWT) (now part of the non-franchised ITV London region) was the ITV network franchise holder for Greater London and the Home Counties at weekends, broadcasting from Fridays at 5.15 pm (7:00 pm from 1968 un ...

series ''

The Complete and Utter History of Britain ''The Complete and Utter History of Britain'' is a 1969 television comedy sketch show. It was created and written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones between the two series of '' Do Not Adjust Your Set''. It was produced for and broadcast by London ...

''.

Cast

The Ages of Man

A version of the

class sketch The ''Class sketch'' is a comedy sketch first broadcast in an episode of David Frost's satirical comedy programme '' The Frost Report'' on 7 April 1966. It has been described as a "genuinely timeless sketch, ingeniously satirising the British cl ...

which had previously been broadcast as part of the BBC Millennium programme on 31 December 1999. *

Ronnie Barker Ronald William George Barker (25 September 1929 – 3 October 2005) was an English actor, comedian and writer. He was known for roles in British comedy television series such as ''Porridge'', ''The Two Ronnies'', and '' Open All Hours''. ...

–

Renaissance The Renaissance ( , ) , from , with the same meanings. is a period in European history The history of Europe is traditionally divided into four time periods: prehistoric Europe (prior to about 800 BC), classical antiquity (800 BC to AD ...

Man *

Ronnie Corbett Ronald Balfour Corbett (4 December 1930 – 31 March 2016) was a Scottish actor, broadcaster, comedian and writer. He had a long association with Ronnie Barker in the BBC television comedy sketch show ''The Two Ronnies''. He achieved promine ...

–

Medieval In the history of Europe, the Middle Ages or medieval period lasted approximately from the late 5th to the late 15th centuries, similar to the post-classical period of global history. It began with the fall of the Western Roman Empire ...

Man *

Stephen Fry Stephen John Fry (born 24 August 1957) is an English actor, broadcaster, comedian, director and writer. He first came to prominence in the 1980s as one half of the comic double act Fry and Laurie, alongside Hugh Laurie, with the two starring ...

–

Modern Modern may refer to: History * Modern history ** Early Modern period ** Late Modern period *** 18th century *** 19th century *** 20th century ** Contemporary history * Moderns, a faction of Freemasonry that existed in the 18th century Phil ...

Man

1066

The

Battle of Hastings The Battle of Hastings nrf, Batâle dé Hastings was fought on 14 October 1066 between the Norman-French army of William, the Duke of Normandy, and an English army under the Anglo-Saxon King Harold Godwinson, beginning the Norman Conque ...

staged and described in the style of a modern football match, a version of a sketch from ''

''. *

Clive Anderson Clive Stuart Anderson (born 10 December 1952) is an English television and radio presenter, comedy writer, and former barrister. Winner of a British Comedy Award in 1991, Anderson began experimenting with comedy and writing comedic scripts durin ...

– Archbishop of Canterbury *

Ray Clemence Raymond Neal Clemence, (5 August 1948 – 15 November 2020) was an England international football goalkeeper and part of the Liverpool team of the 1970s. He is one of only 31 players to have made over 1,000 career appearances, and holds the ...

– Ray Clemence the Younger *

George Cohen George Reginald Cohen (22 October 1939 – 23 December 2022) was an English professional footballer who played as a right-back. He spent his entire professional career with Fulham, and won the 1966 World Cup with England. He was inducted int ...

– Master George Cohen *

James Fleet James Edward Fleet (born 11 March 1952) is an English actor of theatre, radio and screen. He is most famous for his roles as the bumbling and well-meaning Tom in the 1994 British romantic comedy film '' Four Weddings and a Funeral'' and the dim- ...

–

William of Normandy William I; ang, WillelmI (Bates ''William the Conqueror'' p. 33– 9 September 1087), usually known as William the Conqueror and sometimes William the Bastard, was the first Norman king of England, reigning from 1066 until his death in 108 ...

Archie Gemmill Archibald Gemmill (born 24 March 1947) is a Scottish former footballer. During his career, he won the European Cup and three English league titles, and captained his national side. Gemmill scored the third Scotland goal in a 3–2 win again ...

– Archie Gemmill, currently in exile *

David Gower David Ivon Gower (born 1 April 1957) is an English cricket commentator and former cricketer who was captain of the England cricket team during the 1980s. Described as one of the most stylish left-handed batsmen of his era, Gower played 117 Te ...

– Lord Gower *

Ricky Grover Ricky may refer to: Places *Říčky (Brno-Country District), a village and municipality in the Czech Republic *Říčky v Orlických horách, a village in the north of the Czech Republic *Rickmansworth, a town in England sometimes called "Ricky" ...

– Aberforth *

Alan Hansen Alan David Hansen (born 13 June 1955) is a Scottish former footballer and BBC television football pundit. He played as a central defender for Partick Thistle, for the successful Liverpool team of the late 1970s and 1980s, and for the Scotl ...

– Lord Alan Hansen *

Geoff Hurst Sir Geoffrey Charles Hurst (born 8 December 1941) is an English former professional footballer. A striker, he became the first man to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final when England recorded a 4–2 victory over West Germany at Wembley S ...

– Sir Geoffrey of Hurst *

Gary Lineker Gary Winston Lineker (; born 30 November 1960) is an English former professional footballer and current sports broadcaster. He is regarded as having been one of the greatest English strikers. His media career began with the BBC, where he has ...

– Lord Gary Lineker * Rory McGrath – King Harold II *

Peter Osgood Peter Leslie Osgood (20 February 1947 – 1 March 2006) was an English footballer who was active during the 1960s and 1970s. He is best remembered for representing Chelsea and Southampton at club level, and was also capped four times by Englan ...

– Squire Peter Osgoode *

Martin Peters Martin Stanford Peters (8 November 1943 – 21 December 2019) was an English footballer and manager. As a member of the England team which won the 1966 FIFA World Cup, he scored the second of England's four goals in the final against West Germa ...

– Lord Martin Peters *

Steve Punt Stephen Mark Punt (born 15 September 1962)Mr Stephen Mark Punt
company-director-c ...

– French soldier *

Peter Shilton Peter Leslie Shilton (born 18 September 1949) is an English former professional footballer who played as a goalkeeper. His 30-year career included spells at 11 clubs and he has the distinction of playing over 1,000 league games, including in ...

– Peter of Shilton *

Rupert Vansittart Rupert Nicholas Vansittart (born 10 February 1958) is an English character actor. He has appeared in a variety of roles in film, television, stage and radio, often playing comic characters. He is best known for his role as Lord Ashfordly in the ...

– Bishop of Cardiff

Scott of the Antarctic

A parody of ''Scott of the Antarctic''. *

Amanda Holden Amanda Louise Holden (born 16 February 1971) is an English actress, media personality, and singer. Since 2007, she has been a judge on the television talent show competition ''Britain's Got Talent'' on ITV. She also co-hosts the ''Heart Brea ...

– Geordie's girlfriend * Bob Mortimer – Geordie *

Vic Reeves James Roderick Moir (born 24 January 1959), better known by his stage name Vic Reeves, is an English comedian, artist, surrealist, musician, actor and television presenter, best known for his double act with Bob Mortimer as Reeves & Mort ...

–

Captain Scott Captain Robert Falcon Scott, , (6 June 1868 – c. 29 March 1912) was a British Royal Navy officer and explorer who led two expeditions to the Antarctic regions: the ''Discovery'' expedition of 1901–1904 and the ill-fated ''Terra Nov ...

The First Spin Doctor

Martin Clunes Alexander Martin Clunes Order of the British Empire, OBE Deputy Lieutenant, DL (born 28 November 1961) is an English actor, comedian, director and television presenter. He is best known for portraying Martin Ellingham in the ITV (TV network), IT ...

–

King Henry V Henry V (16 September 1386 – 31 August 1422), also called Henry of Monmouth, was King of England and Lord of Ireland from 1413 until his death in 1422. Despite his relatively short reign, Henry's outstanding military successes in the Hu ...

* Angus Deayton –

Lord Mandelson Peter Benjamin Mandelson, Baron Mandelson (born 21 October 1953) is a British Labour Party politician who served as First Secretary of State from 2009 to 2010. He was President of the Board of Trade in 1998 and from 2008 to 2010. He is the ...

Martin Trenaman Martin Trenaman (born 1962) is an English comedy writer and actor, who has contributed to many modern comedy series. He played Simon's father, Alan Cooper, in the sitcom ''The Inbetweeners'' (2008-10). He reprised the role of Mr. Cooper for the ...

Treaty of Westphalia The Peace of Westphalia (german: Westfälischer Friede, ) is the collective name for two peace treaties signed in October 1648 in the Westphalian cities of Osnabrück and Münster. They ended the Thirty Years' War (1618–1648) and brought pea ...

* Patrick Barlow – Advisor *

Robert Bathurst Robert Guy Bathurst (born 22 February 1957) is an English actor. Bathurst was born in The Gold Coast (now Ghana) in 1957, where his father was working as a management consultant. In 1959 his family moved to Ballybrack, Dublin, Ireland and Bath ...

– English Ambassador *

James Dreyfus James Dreyfus (born 9 October 1968) is an English actor most notable for roles on television sitcoms '' The Thin Blue Line'' as Constable Kevin Goody, and '' Gimme Gimme Gimme'' as Tom Farrell. Dreyfus is most recently known for a role as Rever ...

– Swedish Ambassador *

– Ambassador *

Hugh Laurie James Hugh Calum Laurie (; born 11 June 1959) is an English actor, comedian, writer, and musician. He first gained recognition for his work as one half of the comedy double act Fry and Laurie with Stephen Fry. The two men acted together in ...

– French Ambassador

Marriage Guidance

Brian Blessed Brian Blessed (; born 9 October 1936) is an English actor, presenter, writer and mountaineer. Blessed is known for portraying PC "Fancy" Smith in ''Z-Cars'', Augustus in the 1976 BBC television production of '' I, Claudius'', King Richard I ...

– King Henry VIII *

Jack Dee James Andrew Innes Dee (born 24 September 1961), known professionally as Jack Dee, is an English stand-up comedian, actor, presenter and writer known for his sarcasm, irony and deadpan humour. He wrote and starred in the sitcom ''Lead Balloon'' ...

– Marriage guidance counsellor *

Julia Sawalha Julia Sawalha (born 9 September 1968) is an English actress who played Saffron "Saffy" Monsoon in the BBC sitcom ''Absolutely Fabulous''. She is also known for her portrayal of Lynda Day, editor of the ''Junior Gazette'', in ''Press Gang'', as ...

– Catherine Parr

The Nice-But-Dim Family

Adam Blackwood Adam Blackwood (1539–1613) was a Scottish author and apologist for Mary, Queen of Scots. Early life He was born in 1539 in Dunfermline, Scotland, to William Blackwood and Helen Reid. The great-nephew of Robert Reid, Bishop of Orkney (1541-1 ...

– Norman *

Richard Briers Richard David Briers (14 January 1934 – 17 February 2013) was an English actor whose five-decade career encompassed film, radio, stage and television. Briers first came to prominence as George Starling in ''Marriage Lines'' (1961–66), but ...

–

Highway robbery A highwayman was a robber who stole from travellers. This type of thief usually travelled and robbed by horse as compared to a footpad who travelled and robbed on foot; mounted highwaymen were widely considered to be socially superior to fo ...

victim *

Tim Brooke-Taylor Timothy Julian Brooke-Taylor OBE (17 July 194012 April 2020) was an English actor and comedian best known as a member of The Goodies. He became active in performing in comedy sketches while at the University of Cambridge and became president ...

–

Earl of Sandwich Earl of Sandwich is a noble title in the Peerage of England, held since its creation by the House of Montagu. It is nominally associated with Sandwich, Kent. It was created in 1660 for the prominent naval commander Admiral Sir Edward Montagu. ...

* Peter Davison –

Duke of Wellington Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, (1 May 1769 – 14 September 1852) was an Anglo-Irish people, Anglo-Irish soldier and Tories (British political party), Tory statesman who was one of the leading military and political figures of Uni ...

Harry Enfield Henry Richard Enfield (born 30 May 1961) is an English comedian, actor, writer and director. He is known in particular for his television work, including '' Harry Enfield's Television Programme'' and ''Harry & Paul'', and for the creation and ...

– Tim Norse-But-Dim / Sir Timothy Nice-Butte D'imme / Sir Timothy the Lionbrain / Dim Turpin / Major-General Sir Timothy Nice-But-Dim / Midshipman Nice-But-Dim *

Jessica Stevenson Tallulah Jessica Elina Hynes (''née'' Stevenson; born 30 October 1972) is an English actress, director and writer. Known professionally as Jessica Stevenson until 2007, she was one of the creators, writers and stars of the British sitcom ''Spac ...

– Woman with Black Death Victim *

Natasha Little Natasha Emma Little (born 2 October 1969) is an English actress. She is best known for her roles as Edith Thompson in the film '' Another Life'', Lady Caroline Langbourne in the BBC miniseries ''The Night Manager'', and Christina Moxam in the B ...

– Lady Lionbrain *

Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish actor, comedian, writer, musician, poet, and playwright. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Colonial India, where he spent his ...

– Admiral Lord Nelson *

Nigel Planer Nigel George Planer (born 22 February 1953) is a British actor, comedian, musician, novelist and playwright. He played Neil in the BBC comedy '' The Young Ones'' and Ralph Filthy in ''Filthy Rich & Catflap''. He has appeared in many West End mu ...

–

Lord Cardigan Earl of Cardigan is a title in the Peerage of England, currently held by the Marquess of Ailesbury, Marquesses of Ailesbury, and used as a Courtesy titles in the United Kingdom, courtesy title by the heir apparent to that Marquessate, currentl ...

Steve Punt Stephen Mark Punt (born 15 September 1962)Mr Stephen Mark Punt
company-director-c ...

– Lord

Tampax Tampax (a portmanteau of tampon and pack) is a brand of tampon currently owned by Procter & Gamble. It was based in White Plains, New York, US until its sale to Procter & Gamble in 1997. It is a subsidiary of P&G's Always brand and is sold in o ...

Barbara Windsor Dame Barbara Windsor (born Barbara Ann Deeks; 6 August 193710 December 2020) was an English actress, known for her roles in the Carry On (franchise), ''Carry On'' films and for playing Peggy Mitchell in the BBC One soap opera, ''EastEnders''.

– Highway robbery victim

Philosophy of a Hairdresser

Thora Hird Dame Thora Hird (28 May 1911 – 15 March 2003) was an English actress and comedian, presenter and writer. In a career spanning over 70 years, she appeared in more than 100 film and television roles, becoming a household name and a Briti ...

– Ida *

Victoria Wood Victoria Wood (19 May 1953 – 20 April 2016) was an English comedian, actress, lyricist, singer, composer, pianist, screenwriter, producer and director. Wood wrote and starred in dozens of sketches, plays, musicals, films and sitcoms over se ...

– Moira

Body Zone

Joan Bakewell Joan Dawson Bakewell, Baroness Bakewell, (''née'' Rowlands; born 16 April 1933), is an English journalist, television presenter and Labour Party peer. Baroness Bakewell is president of Birkbeck, University of London; she is also an author a ...

– Herself * Dawn French – Egg *

Jennifer Saunders Jennifer Jane Saunders (born 6 July 1958) is an English actress, comedian, singer and screenwriter. Saunders originally found attention in the 1980s, when she became a member of The Comic Strip after graduating from the Royal Central School of ...

– Egg

A Victorian Evening

– Mr Parsons *

Geraldine McNulty Geraldine McNulty is an English stage and television actress. She has played the character of Mrs Raven in '' My Hero'', and had guest appearances in '' Neverwhere'', '' Gimme Gimme Gimme'', ''The Vicar of Dibley'', ''The Smoking Room'' and '' ...

– Mrs Richards *

Trevor Peacock Trevor Edward Peacock (19 May 1931 – 8 March 2021) was an English actor, screenwriter and songwriter. He made his name as a theatre actor, later becoming known for his Shakespearean roles. Later in his career, he became best known for playing ...

– Colonel * Caroline Quentin – Lady Butterworth

Explorers Explorers Explorers

– Francis Drake * Peter Davison –

Ferdinand Magellan Ferdinand Magellan ( or ; pt, Fernão de Magalhães, ; es, link=no, Fernando de Magallanes, ; 4 February 1480 – 27 April 1521) was a Portuguese explorer. He is best known for having planned and led the 1519 Spanish expedition to the Eas ...

* Angus Deayton – Sir Walter Raleigh

Holby Village Hospital

– Dr Barber *

Gary Olsen Gary Olsen (born Gary Kenneth Grant; 3 November 1957 – 12 September 2000) was an English actor. He played Ben in the BBC television sitcom ''2point4 Children''. Biography Olsen was born in London and lived with an aunt and uncle after b ...

– Mr Baker

Early British Comedy

Matthew Ashforde Matthew Ashforde is an English actor known for his appearances in '' EastEnders'', ''Press Gang'', and '' Is It Legal?''. Ashforde played Sonia Fowler's lawyer Adam Childe in '' EastEnders'' in 2007. He also played the character of Darren in ...

– Reginald *

Helena Bonham Carter Helena Bonham Carter (born 26 May 1966) is an English actress. Known for her roles in blockbusters and independent films, particularly period dramas, she has received various awards and nominations, including a British Academy Film Award a ...

– Lily * Neil Morrissey – Director * Caroline Quentin – Marcia Bournemouth * Richard Wilson – Monty DeLauncy

When Columbo discovered America

Gareth Hale Gareth Irvin Hale is an English comedian and actor, who is best known as one half of the comedy duo Hale and Pace, with his friend and comic partner Norman Pace. Biography Hale and his comedy partners were both former teachers, their come ...

– Christopher Columbo *

Norman Pace Norman John Pace (born 17 February 1953 in Dudley, Worcestershire) is an English actor and comedian, best known as one half of the comedy duo Hale and Pace with his friend and comic partner Gareth Hale. Both former teachers, they fronted seve ...

– King Ferdinand

Looking Forwards

Lenny Henry Sir Lenworth George Henry (born 29 August 1958) is a British actor, comedian, singer, television presenter and writer. Henry gained success as a stand-up comedian and impressionist in the late 1970s and early 1980s, culminating in '' The Le ...

– Deakus *

Clive Mantle Clive Andrew Mantle (born 3 June 1957) is an English actor. He played general surgeon Mike Barratt in the BBC hospital drama series ''Casualty'' and '' Holby City'' in the 1990s, and Little John in the 1980s fantasy series ''Robin of Sherwood' ...

– Dr Mike Barrat

External links