"The Fear of Wages" is an episode of the

British British may refer to: Peoples, culture, and language * British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories, and Crown Dependencies. ** Britishness, the British identity and common culture * British English, ...

radio Radio is the technology of signaling and communicating using radio waves. Radio waves are electromagnetic waves of frequency between 30 hertz (Hz) and 300 gigahertz (GHz). They are generated by an electronic device called a transmit ...

comedy Comedy is a genre of fiction that consists of discourses or works intended to be humorous or amusing by inducing laughter, especially in theatre, film, stand-up comedy, television, radio, books, or any other entertainment medium. The term o ...

The Goon Show ''The Goon Show'' is a British radio comedy programme, originally produced and broadcast by the BBC Home Service from 1951 to 1960, with occasional repeats on the BBC Light Programme. The first series, broadcast from 28 May to 20 September 19 ...

'', written by

Spike Milligan Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) was an Irish actor, comedian, writer, musician, poet, and playwright. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British Raj, British Colonial India, where h ...

and

Larry Stephens Lawrence Geoffrey Stephens (16 July 1923p.14926 January 1959) was a BBC radio scriptwriter, best remembered for co-writing ''The Goon Show'' with Spike Milligan. Stephens was a regular writer of the show for the first two years, and then return ...

.''The Fear of Wages''; {{ISBN, 0-563-53629-2; Track 11, 00:46. As the 25th episode of the sixth series, it was first broadcast on 6 March 1956 and was among the shows first repeated in the 1970s following the success of

The Last Goon Show of All ''The Last Goon Show of All'' is a special edition of the BBC Radio comedy programme ''The Goon Show'' commissioned as part of the celebrations of the 50th anniversary of the BBC. Simulcast on radio and television on 5 October 1972, the performan ...

in 1972. Appearing on a 50th anniversary program entitled 'Goons Night' on BBC Radio 2, broadcast on 29 May 2001, Milligan announced this as his favourite episode of ''The Goon Show''.

Title

Like many of ''The Goon Show'' titles, it was a parody of a contemporary film, ''

The Wages of Fear ''The Wages of Fear'' (french: Le Salaire de la peur) is a 1953 French thriller film Thriller film, also known as suspense film or suspense thriller, is a broad film genre that evokes excitement and suspense in the audience. The suspense el ...

'' (1953).

Wallace Greenslade Wallace Frederick Powers Greenslade (1 July 1912 – 21 April 1961), also known as Bill Greenslade, was a BBC radio announcer and News presenter, newsreader. He is best remembered for being the announcer—and frequently the Double act, straight ...

initially announces that title as "''Le Salaire de la peur'', meaning ''The Wages of Fear'', or in English...".

Peter Sellers Peter Sellers (born Richard Henry Sellers; 8 September 1925 – 24 July 1980) was an English actor and comedian. He first came to prominence performing in the BBC Radio comedy series ''The Goon Show'', featured on a number of hit comic songs ...

then announces, as Willium ("Mate"), "The Fear of Wages! Ohhh!".

Plot

The plot is loosely based on the plot of the film, ''

''; transporting

nitroglycerin Nitroglycerin (NG), (alternative spelling of nitroglycerine) also known as trinitroglycerin (TNG), nitro, glyceryl trinitrate (GTN), or 1,2,3-trinitroxypropane, is a dense, colorless, oily, explosive liquid most commonly produced by nitrating g ...

by trucks.

Burma Myanmar, ; UK pronunciations: US pronunciations incl. . Note: Wikipedia's IPA conventions require indicating /r/ even in British English although only some British English speakers pronounce r at the end of syllables. As John Wells explai ...

, 6 March 1956: Colonel Neddie Seagoon of the 4th Armoured Thunderboxes reads a telegram that

Major Bloodnok Major Denis Bloodnok is a fictional character from the 1950s BBC Radio comedy ''The Goon Show''. He was voiced by Peter Sellers. Basis of character Bloodnok's army career is notable for cowardice and monetary irregularities. He was discharged aft ...

failed to show him in 1945 because he thought it was a practical joke. The telegram states that

World War II World War II or the Second World War, often abbreviated as WWII or WW2, was a world war that lasted from 1939 to 1945. It involved the vast majority of the world's countries—including all of the great powers—forming two opposin ...

ended in August 1945, which comes as a shock because Seagoon and the others have been fighting the Imperial

Japan Japan ( ja, 日本, or , and formally , ''Nihonkoku'') is an island country in East Asia. It is situated in the northwest Pacific Ocean, and is bordered on the west by the Sea of Japan, while extending from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north ...

ese Army, now confined to a tree, for the last fourteen years. Fortunately, however, General Yakamoto emerges from the tree with a

white flag White flags have had different meanings throughout history and depending on the locale. Contemporary use The white flag is an internationally recognized protective sign of truce or ceasefire, and for negotiation. It is also used to symbolize ...

, wishing to borrow more ammunition to keep fighting. The British refuse and so the Japanese surrender, voluntarily giving up their supplies: one thousand cans of

nitroglycerine Nitroglycerin (NG), (alternative spelling of nitroglycerine) also known as trinitroglycerin (TNG), nitro, glyceryl trinitrate (GTN), or 1,2,3-trinitroxypropane, is a dense, colorless, oily, explosive liquid most commonly produced by nitrating ...

and two thousand cans of

sake Sake, also spelled saké ( ; also referred to as Japanese rice wine), is an alcoholic beverage of Japanese origin made by fermenting rice that has been polished to remove the bran. Despite the name ''Japanese rice wine'', sake, and indee ...

. The ever-degenerate Bloodnok takes command of the sake, leaving Seagoon to telephone the War Office with news of the victory. Naturally, his first attempt is a "wrong number". After intoning a noble speech as he dials and listens to the phone ring, he hears the greeting (in the voice of Willium again), "Battersea Dogs Home, mate!".

Part two

The scene shifts to the Army Pay Corps, where Chief Cashier

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne Hercules Grytpype-Thynne was a character from the British 1950s comedy radio programme ''The Goon Show''. He was voiced by Peter Sellers. In the episode "Who Is Pink Oboe?", Valentine Dyall filled-in for the role in Sellers' absence. Grytpype-T ...

is blatantly stealing money from the army’s wages and hiding it in a variety of bizarre places, with the help of Moriarty. They receive a telephone call telling them of the miraculous return of the lost regiment. The two thieves are horrified as they have spent all the back pay due to the soldiers. While Moriarty panics and Grytpype ponders the situation, the show goes into its first musical interlude. Back in Burma, Seagoon informs Bloodnok that

Whitehall Whitehall is a road and area in the City of Westminster, Central London. The road forms the first part of the A roads in Zone 3 of the Great Britain numbering scheme, A3212 road from Trafalgar Square to Chelsea, London, Chelsea. It is the main ...

denies that the regiment's soldiers are alive. The only way to get their back pay is to take the Japanese army, in their tree, back to London. Seagoon announces that they should leave the nitroglycerine behind, but just then Grytpype telephones to say that they won't get paid unless all the supplies are accounted for. That means that someone must drive the truck full of nitroglycerin, which leads to a lengthy discussion. Seagoon refuses and Bloodnok has generously volunteered to drive the truck full of the sake, so Eccles (who appears off a

record A record, recording or records may refer to: An item or collection of data Computing * Record (computer science), a data structure ** Record, or row (database), a set of fields in a database related to one entity ** Boot sector or boot record, ...

) is ordered to drive the truck, which quickly explodes. However, Eccles reveals he wasn't really driving the truck, and the unfortunate Bluebottle was asleep in the back. After the second musical interlude, we discover that the truck convoy has been driving back to England for five weeks. Bloodnok has been continually drinking the sake all that time, which worries Seagoon as it means they won't get their back pay. In an aside to the audience, General Yakamoto reveals that he switched the sake with the nitroglycerin. Meanwhile, Grytpype (aware that his plot to blow up Seagoon and the others has failed) has called a governmental meeting and informs the

Chancellor of the Exchequer The chancellor of the Exchequer, often abbreviated to chancellor, is a senior minister of the Crown within the Government of the United Kingdom, and head of His Majesty's Treasury. As one of the four Great Offices of State, the Chancellor is ...

that the regiment's combined back pay amounts to millions of pounds, which will ruin the country's annual budget. The decision is made to stop the convoy by getting the Japanese to declare war again. However, the Japanese run out of ammunition again and again are refused to be lent any by the British. However, when Bloodnok tries to cut the tree down, the Japanese reveal they have suddenly got more ammunition (presumably, as Bloodnok suggests, in a

Red Cross The International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement is a Humanitarianism, humanitarian movement with approximately 97 million Volunteering, volunteers, members and staff worldwide. It was founded to protect human life and health, to ensure re ...

package from home). Bloodnok and Seagoon jump into the bulletproof driving cab of the truck and continue driving back to England, fighting with the Japanese all the way. At a British government Cabinet meeting, Grytpype finally concedes and admits that they will probably have to pay the regiment their owed wages. The truck pulls up outside and Seagoon and Bloodnok demand their back pay. In turn, Grytpype demands their supplies, willing to take the sake if not the nitroglycerin. Seagoon and the others tip Bloodnok upside down in an attempt to make him vomit up the sake, but as he really drank the nitroglycerin, he explodes. The show ends with Bluebottle asking the announcer,

to inform the audience that he was not killed in this episode.

Characters (in order of appearance)

* (Colonel) Neddie Seagoon (

Harry Secombe Sir Harold Donald Secombe (8 September 1921 – 11 April 2001) was a Welsh comedian, actor, singer and television presenter. Secombe was a member of the British radio comedy programme ''The Goon Show'' (1951–1960), playing many characters, m ...

) * Announcer (Wallace Greenslade) * (Private) Eccles (

) *

Mate Mate may refer to: Science * Mate, one of a pair of animals involved in: ** Mate choice, intersexual selection ** Mating * Multi-antimicrobial extrusion protein, or MATE, an efflux transporter family of proteins Person or title * Friendship ...

(

) * Date Announcer (Peter Sellers) * Major Sir Denis Bloodnok (Peter Sellers) * Unnamed Indian Soldier/Singiz Thing (Spike Milligan) * Unnamed British Soldier/

Throat In vertebrate anatomy, the throat is the front part of the neck, internally positioned in front of the vertebrae. It contains the pharynx and larynx. An important section of it is the epiglottis, separating the esophagus from the trachea (windpipe ...

(Spike Milligan) * General Yakamoto (Spike Milligan) * Moriarty (Spike Milligan) * Chief Cashier Hercules Grytpype-Thynne (Peter Sellers) * Sergeant Goldberg (Spike Milligan) * Bluebottle (Peter Sellers) * “Rhubarbing” Cabinet Members (Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, the

Wally Stott Angela Morley (10 March 192414 January 2009) was an English composer and conductor who became a familiar household name to BBC Radio listeners in the 1950s. She attributed her entry into composing and arranging largely to the influence and en ...

Orchestra) * “Custarding” Cabinet Member (Harry Secombe) * Chancellor of the Exchequer Jim Spriggs (Spike Milligan) *

Winston Churchill Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (30 November 187424 January 1965) was a British statesman, soldier, and writer who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom twice, from 1940 to 1945 Winston Churchill in the Second World War, dur ...

(Peter Sellers) * Unnamed Tokyo Governmental Official (Harry Secombe) While Seagoon begins the story as Bloodnok's commanding officer, in Part 2 he acts as Bloodnok's subordinate, being addressed as "Seagoon" and addressing Bloodnok as "Sir". This is noticeable when the Japanese commander runs out of ammunition for the second time and asks how much he owes the British, at which point Bloodnok tells Seagoon to "play back their account", which turns out to be a gramophone record.

Musical interludes

* Max Geldray - " Side by Side" * Ray Ellington - "Bubble, Bubble, Bubble (Pink Champagne)" ( George Forrest / Robert Wright) in original broadcast, replaced with " Love Me or Leave Me" in a rebroadcast.

References, notes

Fear of Wages