''The Book of Heroic Failures'', written by

Stephen Pile Stephen or Steven is a common English first name. It is particularly significant to Christians, as it belonged to Saint Stephen ( grc-gre, Στέφανος ), an early disciple and deacon who, according to the Book of Acts, was stoned to death; ...

in 1979, is a book written in celebration of human inadequacy in all its forms. Entries include

William McGonagall William Topaz McGonagall (March 1825 – 29 September 1902) was a Scottish poet of Irish descent. He gained notoriety as an extremely bad poet who exhibited no recognition of, or concern for, his peers' opinions of his work. He wrote about 2 ...

, a notoriously bad poet, and

Teruo Nakamura was a Taiwanese-Japanese soldier of the Imperial Japanese Army who fought for Japan in World War II and did not surrender until 1974. He was the last known Japanese holdout to surrender after the end of hostilities in 1945. Military service Na ...

, a soldier of the

Imperial Japanese Army The was the official ground-based armed force of the Empire of Japan from 1868 to 1945. It was controlled by the Imperial Japanese Army General Staff Office and the Ministry of the Army, both of which were nominally subordinate to the Emperor o ...

who fought for

Japan Japan ( ja, 日本, or , and formally , ''Nihonkoku'') is an island country in East Asia. It is situated in the northwest Pacific Ocean, and is bordered on the west by the Sea of Japan, while extending from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north ...

World War II World War II or the Second World War, often abbreviated as WWII or WW2, was a world war that lasted from 1939 to 1945. It involved the vast majority of the world's countries—including all of the great powers—forming two opposin ...

until 1974. The original edition included an application to become a member of the

Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain The Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain club was started by Stephen Pile in order to bring together people of notable ineptitude so that they could share common experiences of failure. The club had a handbook, '' The Book of Heroic Failure ...

; however, this was taken out in later editions because the club received over 20,000 applications and closed in 1979 on the grounds that, "Even as failures, we failed" (but not before Pile himself had been expelled from it for publishing a

bestseller A bestseller is a book or other media noted for its top selling status, with bestseller lists published by newspapers, magazines, and book store chains. Some lists are broken down into classifications and specialties (novel, nonfiction book, cookb ...

). The American version of the book was misprinted by the publishers, who left out half the introduction. As a consequence, later versions of the book came out with an

erratum An erratum or corrigendum (plurals: errata, corrigenda) (comes from la, errata corrige) is a correction of a published text. As a general rule, publishers issue an erratum for a production error (i.e., an error introduced during the publishing pro ...

slip longer than the entire introduction. In his second book ''The Return of Heroic Failures'', published in 1988, Stephen Pile reports that

Taiwan Taiwan, officially the Republic of China (ROC), is a country in East Asia, at the junction of the East and South China Seas in the northwestern Pacific Ocean, with the People's Republic of China (PRC) to the northwest, Japan to the nort ...

ese

pirates Piracy is an act of robbery or criminal violence by ship or boat-borne attackers upon another ship or a coastal area, typically with the goal of stealing cargo and other valuable goods. Those who conduct acts of piracy are called pirates, v ...

were not aware of this and did not include the erratum slip. The second book was published in the USA under the title ''Cannibals in the Cafeteria''. The second book came out in Greece in 1992 although the first one had never been published there. In fact, this second book was named "Η ΤΕΧΝΗ ΤΗΣ ΑΠΟΤΥΧΙΑΣ No1" (The Art of Failure No. 1). A small erratum slip in the book itself explains that it was a mistake. In an interview with English Radio DJ Andrew Marshall, Pile said, "''The Book'' is one of the least successful books ever issued in the USA, I don't think it has reached double figures there as yet and long may that remain the case." In 1999 Penguin made the decision to re-publish the book as part of their "Penguin Readers" series to encourage reading from a young age. A third volume, ''The Ultimate Book of Heroic Failures'', was published by

Faber and Faber Faber and Faber Limited, usually abbreviated to Faber, is an independent publishing house in London. Published authors and poets include T. S. Eliot (an early Faber editor and director), W. H. Auden, Margaret Storey, William Golding, Samuel B ...

in 2011, and a selection from the first two volumes (the author's last ever word on the subject of heroic failure) was published in 2012.

Notable failures by chapter

The World of Work * Daniel Price (priest) *

Tommy Cooper Thomas Frederick Cooper (19 March 1921 – 15 April 1984) was a Welsh prop comedian and magician. As an entertainer, his appearance was large and lumbering at , and he habitually wore a red fez when performing. He served in the British Army f ...

Francis Webb (engineer) Francis William Webb (21 May 1836 – 4 June 1906) was an English railway engineer, responsible for the design and manufacture of locomotives for the London and North Western Railway (LNWR). Webb was born in Tixall Rectory, near Stafford, ...

William Stern (businessman) William George Stern (born Vilmos György Stern, 2 July 1935 – 21 March 2020) was a businessman most notable as the owner of the British Stern Group of companies. When it collapsed in 1973, Stern became Britain's biggest bankrupt with debt ...

* MV Argo Merchant *

Mariner 1 Mariner 1, built to conduct the first American planetary flyby of Venus, was the first spacecraft of NASA's interplanetary Mariner program. Developed by Jet Propulsion Laboratory, and originally planned to be a purpose-built probe launched summ ...

Edsel Edsel is a discontinued division and brand of automobiles that was marketed by the Ford Motor Company from the 1958 to the 1960 model years. Deriving its name from Edsel Ford, son of company founder Henry Ford, Edsels were developed in an effort ...

* Caproni Ca.90 Off Duty *

English as She Is Spoke , commonly known by the name ''English as She Is Spoke'', is a 19th-century book written by Pedro Carolino, with some editions crediting José da Fonseca as a co-author. It was intended as a Portuguese–English conversational guide or phrase boo ...

Arthur Paul Pedrick Arthur Paul Pedrick (3 September 1918 – 15 August 1976)''England & Wales, Civil Registration Death Index, 1916-2007'' was a prolific British inventor who filed for 162 United Kingdom patents between 1962 and his death in 1976 or 1977. His inven ...

Robert South Robert South (4 September 1634 – 8 July 1716) was an English churchman who was known for his combative preaching and his Latin poetry. Early life He was the son of Robert South, a London merchant, and Elizabeth Berry. He was born at Hackney, ...

Jude the Apostle Jude ( grc-gre, Ἰούδας Ἰακώβου translit. Ioúdas Iakóbou) was one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus according to the New Testament. He is generally identified as Thaddeus ( grc-gre, Θαδδαῖος; cop, ⲑⲁⲇⲇⲉⲟⲥ; ...

George Plimpton George Ames Plimpton (March 18, 1927 – September 25, 2003) was an American writer. He is widely known for his sports writing and for helping to found ''The Paris Review'', as well as his patrician demeanor and accent. He was also known for " ...

Law and Order *

James Berry (executioner) James Berry (8 February 1852 – 21 October 1913) was an English executioner from 1884 until 1891. Berry was born in Heckmondwike in the West Riding of Yorkshire, where his father worked as a wool-stapler. His most important contribution to the ...

Joseph Samuel Joseph Samuel ( – April 1806) was an Englishman known for having survived his execution attempts. Convicted for robbery in 1795, he was sentenced in 1801 to transportation to Australia, one of 297 convicted felons aboard the vessels , and . ...

Playing the Game *

Thomas Birch Thomas Birch (23 November 17059 January 1766) was an English historian. Life He was the son of Joseph Birch, a coffee-mill maker, and was born at Clerkenwell. He preferred study to business but, as his parents were Quakers, he did not go to t ...

Maurice Flitcroft Maurice Gerald Flitcroft (23 November 1929 – 24 March 2007) was a British golfer. Flitcroft, who had never attempted a round of golf in his life, received widespread attention after shooting a score of 121 in the qualifying competition for t ...

* The Boat Race 1912 *

Rafael Gómez Ortega Rafael Gómez Ortega, (1882 – 1960) also known as ''El Gallo'' ("the rooster") was an early twentieth century bullfighter. He came from a family of famous bullfighters, including his matador father, Fernando Gómez García and matador younger br ...

Beltrán Alfonso Osorio, 18th Duke of Alburquerque Beltrán is a Spanish male given name and surname. In non-Spanish speaking countries, the accent is usually omitted as Beltran. It derives from the Germanic words berht ("bright") and hramn ("raven"). It shares this same Germanic origin with Bertran ...

Horatio Bottomley Horatio William Bottomley (23 March 1860 – 26 May 1933) was an English financier, journalist, editor, newspaper proprietor, swindler, and Member of Parliament. He is best known for his editorship of the popular magazine ''John Bull (maga ...

The Cultural Side of Things *

Florence Foster Jenkins Florence Foster Jenkins (born Narcissa Florence Foster; July 19, 1868 – November 26, 1944) was an American socialite and amateur soprano who became known, and mocked, for her flamboyant performance costumes and notably poor singing ability. S ...

Portsmouth Sinfonia The Portsmouth Sinfonia was an English orchestra founded by a group of students at the Portsmouth School of Art in 1970. The Sinfonia was generally open to anyone and ended up drawing players who were either people without musical training or, i ...

* Julia A. Moore *

George Wither George Wither (11 June 1588 O.S. (21 June 1588 NS) – 2 May 1667 O.S. (12 May 1667 NS)) was a prolific English poet, pamphleteer, satirist and writer of hymns. Wither's long life spanned one of the most tumultuous periods in the history of En ...

Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle-upon-Tyne Margaret Lucas Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle-upon-Tyne (1623 – 15 December 1673) was an English philosopher, poet, scientist, fiction writer and playwright. Her husband, William Cavendish, 1st Duke of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, was Royalist co ...

Wicked Bible The Wicked Bible, sometimes called the Adulterous Bible or the Sinners' Bible, is an edition of the Bible published in 1631 by Robert Barker and Martin Lucas, the royal printers in London, meant to be a reprint of the King James Bible. The name i ...

* World Government Party * John Warburton (officer of arms) *

Person from Porlock The person from Porlock was an unwelcome visitor to Samuel Taylor Coleridge during his composition of the poem ''Kubla Khan'' in 1797. Coleridge claimed to have perceived the entire course of the poem in a dream (possibly an opium-induced haze), ...

* Le Bateau *

Robert Coates (actor) Robert "Romeo" Coates (1772 – 21 February 1848) was an English Eccentricity (behavior), eccentric, best remembered for his career as an amateur actor. His self-image included a highly mistaken belief in his own thespian prowess. Born in Antigu ...

War and Peace *

Ambrose Burnside Ambrose Everett Burnside (May 23, 1824 – September 13, 1881) was an American army officer and politician who became a senior Union general in the Civil War and three times Governor of Rhode Island, as well as being a successful inventor ...

Antonio López de Santa Anna Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón (; 21 February 1794 – 21 June 1876),Callcott, Wilfred H., "Santa Anna, Antonio Lopez De,''Handbook of Texas Online'' Retrieved 18 April 2017. usually known as Santa Ann ...

Anglo-Zanzibar War The Anglo-Zanzibar War was a military conflict fought between the United Kingdom and the Zanzibar Sultanate on 27 August 1896. The conflict lasted between 38 and 45 minutes, marking it as the shortest recorded war in history. The immediate ca ...

Hiroo Onoda was an Imperial Japanese Army intelligence officer who fought in World War II and was a Japanese holdout who did not surrender at the war's end in August 1945. After the war ended, Onoda spent 29 years hiding in the Philippines until his former ...

* HMS Trinidad (46) *

Mitrailleuse A mitrailleuse (; from French ''mitraille'', "grapeshot") is a type of volley gun with barrels of rifle calibre that can fire either all rounds at once or in rapid succession. The earliest true mitrailleuse was invented in 1851 by Belgian Army cap ...

Sticky bomb The "Grenade, Hand, Anti-Tank No. 74", commonly known as the S.T. grenade or simply sticky bomb, was a British hand grenade designed and produced during the Second World War. The grenade was one of a number of anti-tank weapons developed for u ...

Lunge mine The Shitotsubakurai ( ja, 刺突爆雷) lunge mine was a suicidal anti-tank weapon developed and used by the Empire of Japan during the Second World War. It used a HEAT type charge. This weapon was used by the CQC units of the Imperial Japanese ...

Anti-tank dog Anti-tank dogs (russian: собаки-истребители танков ''sobaki-istrebiteli tankov'' or ''protivotankovye sobaki''; german: Panzerabwehrhunde or ''Hundeminen'', "dog-mines") were dogs taught to carry explosives to tanks, arm ...

* USS Swordfish (SSN-579) The Business of Politics *

Charles D. B. King Charles Dunbar Burgess King (12 March 1875 – 4 September 1961) was a Liberian politician who served as the 17th president of Liberia from 1920 to 1930. He was of Americo-Liberian and Sierra Leone Creole descent. He was a member of the True Whig ...

Assassination attempts on Fidel Castro The United States' Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) made numerous unsuccessful attempts to assassinate Cuban leader Fidel Castro, who led from 1959 to 2008. Cuban exiles also attempted to assassinate Castro, sometimes in cooperation with the CI ...

Love and Marriage *

Augustus II the Strong Augustus II; german: August der Starke; lt, Augustas II; in Saxony also known as Frederick Augustus I – Friedrich August I (12 May 16701 February 1733), most commonly known as Augustus the Strong, was Elector of Saxony from 1694 as well as Ki ...

The Art of Being Wrong *

Dionysius Lardner Professor Dionysius Lardner FRS FRSE (3 April 179329 April 1859) was an Irish scientific writer who popularised science and technology, and edited the 133-volume '' Cabinet Cyclopædia''. Early life in Dublin He was born in Dublin on 3 Apri ...

The Beatles' Decca audition The English rock band the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records at Decca Studios in West Hampstead, north London, on 1 January 1962. They were rejected by the label, who instead opted to sign a contract with Brian Poole and the Tremeloes. The au ...

John Sedgwick John Sedgwick (September 13, 1813 – May 9, 1864) was a military officer and Union Army general during the American Civil War. He was wounded three times at the Battle of Antietam while leading his division in an unsuccessful assault against C ...

Books

* * Published in the USA as * * , a selection from the first two volumes.

References

{{DEFAULTSORT:Book of Heroic Failures 1979 non-fiction books British non-fiction books Failure