''Star Warped'' is a farcical 2005 spoof novel by British writer Adam Roberts, based on the six ''

Star Wars ''Star Wars'' is an American epic film, epic space opera multimedia franchise created by George Lucas, which began with the Star Wars (film), eponymous 1977 film and quickly became a worldwide popular culture, pop-culture Cultural impact of S ...

'' films. Roberts has previously parodied the works of J.R.R. Tolkien in ''

The Soddit ''The Soddit'' ''or Let's Cash in Again'' is a 2003 parody of J.R.R. Tolkien's 1937 novel ''The Hobbit'', written by A.R.R.R. Roberts. The book jacket states: "Following on (inevitably, some might say) from the frankly unlikely success of ''Bor ...

'' and '' The Sellamillion''.

Plot synopsis

The story takes place in the production order of the films, rather than the chronological order, starting with episodes 4-6 and ending with episodes 1–3. The bulk of the story concentrates on the character of ''Luke Seespotrun'' as he joins the ''Rebelend'' in their struggle against the nefarious forces of the ''Imperial Empire of the Imperium'', trying to prevent them from enslaving the entire galaxy. Due to page restrictions the last three episodes are heavily abbreviated with Episode II being only three chapters and Episode III only one chapter long.

The Chapters

*''Episode IV: A Nude Hope'' *''Episode V: The Empire Strides around in Black'' *''Episode VI: Return of the Son of Jobbi Rides Again'' *''Episode I: The Fans-of-

Tron ''Tron'' (stylized as ''TRON'') is a 1982 American science fiction action-adventure film written and directed by Steven Lisberger from a story by Lisberger and Bonnie MacBird. The film stars Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn, a computer programmer a ...

Menace'' *''Episode II: Attack of the Clichés'' *''Episode III: Revenge of the Return of the Son of Psmyth Rides Again:

the Next Generation Next Generation or Next-Generation may refer to: Publications and literature * ''Next Generation'' (magazine), video game magazine that was made by the now defunct Imagine Media publishing company * Next Generation poets (2004), list of young ...

- The Early Years''

Characters

*''Luke Seespotrun'' is based on

Luke Skywalker Luke Skywalker is a fictional character and the protagonist of the original film trilogy of the ''Star Wars'' franchise created by George Lucas. Portrayed by Mark Hamill, Luke first appeared in ''Star Wars'' (1977), and he returned in ''The ...

. He is brought up on the desert world of ''Tatuonweiner'' by his

nudist Naturism is a lifestyle of practising non-sexual social nudity in private and in public; the word also refers to the cultural movement which advocates and defends that lifestyle. Both may alternatively be called nudism. Though the two terms ar ...

Swedish Uncle Sven and Aunt Svenessa. He suffers from

acne Acne, also known as ''acne vulgaris'', is a long-term Cutaneous condition, skin condition that occurs when Keratinocyte, dead skin cells and Sebum, oil from the skin clog hair follicles. Typical features of the condition include comedo, black ...

. *''Princess Leper'' is based on

Princess Leia Princess Leia Organa is a fictional character and one of the main protagonists in the ''Star Wars'' franchise, portrayed in films by Carrie Fisher. Introduced in the Star Wars (film), original ''Star Wars'' film in 1977, Leia is princess of th ...

, and suffers from

leprosy Leprosy, also known as Hansen's disease (HD), is a long-term infection by the bacteria ''Mycobacterium leprae'' or ''Mycobacterium lepromatosis''. Infection can lead to damage of the nerves, respiratory tract, skin, and eyes. This nerve damag ...

. *''Old Bony Knobbli / Wobbli Bent Knobbli'' is based on Obi-Wan. He suffers from

arthritis Arthritis is a term often used to mean any disorder that affects joints. Symptoms generally include joint pain and stiffness. Other symptoms may include redness, warmth, swelling, and decreased range of motion of the affected joints. In som ...

. *''C3U-πP-HOL-8RA'', pronounced "See-thru-peephole-bra" and often abbreviated as "C3", is based on

C-3PO C-3PO () or See-Threepio is a humanoid robot character in the '' Star Wars'' franchise who appears in the original trilogy, the prequel trilogy and the sequel trilogy. Built by Anakin Skywalker, was designed as a protocol droid intended to as ...

. *''RC-DU²'', pronounced ''Arcee Doodoo'', is a human-phobic motile

commode A commode is any of many pieces of furniture. The ''Oxford English Dictionary'' has multiple meanings of "commode". The first relevant definition reads: "A piece of furniture with drawers and shelves; in the bedroom, a sort of elaborate chest ...

based on

R2-D2 R2-D2 () or Artoo-Detoo is a fictional robot character in the ''Star Wars'' franchise created by George Lucas. He has appeared in ten of the eleven theatrical ''Star Wars'' films to date. At various points throughout the course of the films, R2, ...

,. *''Hand Someman'' is based on

Han Solo Han Solo is a fictional character in the '' Star Wars'' franchise created by George Lucas. The character first appeared in the 1977 film '' Star Wars'' portrayed by Harrison Ford, who reprised his role in ''The Empire Strikes Back'' (1980) an ...

. He had both of his lungs shot and replaced by artificial ones during the progress of the first episode. *''

Masticate Chewing or mastication is the process by which food is crushed and ground by teeth. It is the first step of digestion, and it increases the surface area of foods to allow a more efficient break down by enzymes. During the mastication process, t ...

tobacco Tobacco is the common name of several plants in the genus '' Nicotiana'' of the family Solanaceae, and the general term for any product prepared from the cured leaves of these plants. More than 70 species of tobacco are known, but the ...

'' is based on

Chewbacca Chewbacca ( ), nicknamed "Chewie", is a fictional character in the ''Star Wars'' franchise. He is a Wookiee, a tall, hirsute, bipedal, intelligent species originating from the fictional planet of Kashyyyk. Chewbacca is the loyal friend and firs ...

. Being a Woozie, he sleeps six months out of the seven-month year of the Woozies. He finally awakes at the end of Episode VI. *''Jane Seespotrun / Dark Father'' is based on

Anakin Skywalker Darth Vader is a fictional character in the ''Star Wars'' franchise. The character is the central antagonist of the original trilogy and, as Anakin Skywalker, is one of the main protagonists in the prequel trilogy. ''Star Wars'' creator George ...

Darth Vader Darth Vader is a fictional character in the ''Star Wars'' franchise. The character is the central antagonist of the original trilogy and, as Anakin Skywalker, is one of the main protagonists in the prequel trilogy. ''Star Wars'' creator George ...

. His mother's name was Dick. In episodes 4-6 he is an urging but a hopelessly bad stand-up comedian, but otherwise true to his origins. *''The Emperor / Dark Charlie'' is based largely on

Charles Chaplin Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin Jr. (16 April 188925 December 1977) was an English comic actor, filmmaker, and composer who rose to fame in the era of silent film. He became a worldwide icon through his screen persona, the Tramp, and is consider ...

's popular character, ''The Tramp''. His voice is lost during Episode III and he is forced to speak with a black sheet of re-writable plastic (in the fashion of

silent films A silent film is a film with no synchronized recorded sound (or more generally, no audible dialogue). Though silent films convey narrative and emotion visually, various plot elements (such as a setting or era) or key lines of dialogue may, whe ...

). *''Yodella'' is based on

Yoda Yoda () is a fictional character in the ''Star Wars'' universe, first appearing in the 1980 film ''The Empire Strikes Back''. He is a small, green humanoid alien who is powerful with the Force and is a leading member of the Jedi Order until ...

. Rather similar to the original character except he yodels his lessons and wears

lederhosen Lederhosen (; , ; singular in German usage: ''Lederhose'') are short or knee-length leather breeches that are worn as traditional garments in some regions of German-speaking countries. The longer ones are generally called ''Bundhosen'' or ''Kni ...

Plot synopsis

The Chapters

Characters

See also