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Slow parenting (also called simplicity parenting) is a
parenting style A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard strategies that parents use in their child rearing. The quality of parenting can be more essential than the quantity of time spent with the child. For instance, the parent may b ...
in which few activities are organised for children. Instead, they are allowed to explore the world at their own pace. It is a response to
concerted cultivation Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting. The expression is attributed to Annette Lareau. This parenting style or parenting practice is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents by incorporating organized activities in th ...
and the widespread trend for parents to schedule activities and classes after school; to solve problems on behalf of the children, and to buy services from commercial suppliers rather than letting nature take its course. The philosophy, stemming at least partially from the Slow Movement, makes recommendations in play, toys, access to nature and scheduled activities. The opposing view is that such children are disadvantaged because their parents do not provide as many learning opportunities.


Goals

Slow parenting aims for the goal of allowing children to be happy and satisfied with their own achievements, even though this may not make them the wealthiest or most famous. These parents suggest that children of other parents are unable to cope with the unpredictability of the real world, either expecting their
helicopter parent A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named ...
s to intervene, or complaining about unfairness. They may not even understand who they are themselves until much later in adulthood.


Play

Play Play most commonly refers to: * Play (activity), an activity done for enjoyment * Play (theatre), a work of drama Play may refer also to: Computers and technology * Google Play, a digital content service * Play Framework, a Java framework * Pla ...
is a natural part of childhood, which allows young people to explore and discover at their own pace. Children invest 15% of their energy in playing demonstrating their natural inclination and the evolutionary benefit. Children have a natural skill for playing and exploring in a way that is appropriate. Other mammals also play in developing their own skills in a realistic but less dangerous environment. However, formal learning is more beneficial from the age of six. Toys, technology and an adult-imposed educational curriculum are not required, according to the philosophy.


Television

In general, slow parenting does not advocate watching television. Television is not interactive; a person can watch it with little thinking and no action. It can occupy an enormous amount of time, and some programs are even inappropriate for children. At the same time, it is often created by commercial interests with minimal investment in the program content and a maximum of advertising. The
social aspects of television The mass media, medium of television has had many influences on society since its inception. The belief that this impact has been dramatic has been largely unchallenged in media theory since its inception. However, there is much dispute as to wha ...
are widely discussed and often considered to be negative. Introducing children to television (including families watching it together) is a recommendation to continue this lifestyle, and a discouragement to any other play or activity. It is believed that television advertisements often encourage people further into
consumerism Consumerism is a social and economic order that encourages the acquisition of goods and services in ever-increasing amounts. With the Industrial Revolution, but particularly in the 20th century, mass production led to overproduction—the supp ...
by promoting expensive objects which are often unnecessary and ultimately unsatisfying (a satisfied customer may not need to make further purchases). The presentation of these to people who are tired or not concentrating is a further risk to their behavioural development. However, it is recognised that television is a convenient baby-sitter, and that some programs are enjoyable (''The Idle Parent'' contains a list of the author's favourites). Choices might include watching only ten-year-old pre-recorded video tapes, or watching broadcast television with children and giving a real-time commentary on the content and its message.


Safety

Everyday life does contain risk. Slow parenting advocates would argue that in order to develop a healthy understanding of that, children must be allowed to face risks. Because many parents have themselves been raised in a
risk-averse In economics and finance, risk aversion is the tendency of people to prefer outcomes with low uncertainty to those outcomes with high uncertainty, even if the average outcome of the latter is equal to or higher in monetary value than the more ce ...
way, Slow Parenting advocates would maintain that they are often unable to judge which risks are significant. For example,
stranger danger "Stranger danger" is the idea or warning that all strangers can potentially be dangerous. The phrase is intended to encapsulate the danger associated with adults whom children do not know. The phrase has found widespread usage and many children w ...
, a cornerstone of child "safety", has been criticized for allegedly assuming that all strangers are dangerous, and by negative inference that all familiar people are safe. An
open letter An open letter is a Letter (message), letter that is intended to be read by a wide audience, or a letter intended for an individual, but that is nonetheless widely distributed intentionally. Open letters usually take the form of a letter (mess ...
by more than one hundred leading pediatricians, academics, and authors, published in ''
The Daily Telegraph ''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally. It was fo ...
'', highlighted how a fast-paced and consumerist lifestyle has emphasized the fear of physical harm and the subsequent emotional and social damage to children. The newspaper the
invited responses from the public
and received nearly 120 pro-slow parenting responses within days. These highlighted frequent assessment, political interference, junk food, television, compulsory schooling, distrust of teachers, and many other areas. Some suggested
Forest school Forest School or Forrest School may refer to: Educational philosophy * Forest school (learning style), a learner centred outdoor learning approach. Religious philosophy * Thai Forest Tradition, a Theravada school of Buddhism in Thailand. * Sri La ...
s and other adventure activities, while many proposed less political interference with schools.


Family

Spending time with children is always recommended for parents. The book '' The Price of Privilege'' finds that eating dinner together as a family is an indicator of good psychological health.
Tom Hodgkinson Tom Hodgkinson (born 1968) is a British writer and the editor of '' The Idler'' magazine, which he established in 1993 with his friend Gavin Pretor-Pinney. His philosophy, in his published books and articles, is of a relaxed approach to life, ...
's ideal scenario is to be near his children, although not too near.


Synonyms and variations

The idea of slow parenting has been repeated by many authors and commentators, many of whom have attached their own names. A few are briefly reviewed below:


Slow movement

In his book ''Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children From the Culture of Hyper-parenting'',
Carl Honoré Carl Honoré (born 29 December 1967 in Scotland) is a Canadian journalist who wrote the internationally best-selling book ''In Praise of Slow'' (2004) about the Slow Movement. In 2008, he came out with a new book, ''Under Pressure: Rescuing Ou ...
describes a measured and caring way of stepping back and letting our children face the world themselves. Parts of ''UP'' have been serialised in the ''Daily Telegraph''. The author has previously written about the Slow Movement in his book ''In Praise of Slowness''. Honoré steps through the stages of adult intervention in childhood, arguing that many adults drive their children towards goals they have chosen but which are often not suitable. The freedom to play is repeatedly endorsed, with Honoré providing examples that he believes shows that interfering in this often makes less effective use of their time, and damages their development. He highlights some particular educational techniques, such as the
Reggio Emilia approach The Reggio Emilia approach is an educational philosophy and pedagogy focused on preschool and primary education. This approach is a student-centered and constructivist self-guided curriculum that uses self-directed, experiential learning in rela ...
and
Forest kindergarten Forest kindergarten is a type of preschool education for children between the ages of three and six that is held almost exclusively outdoors. Whatever the weather, children are encouraged to play, explore and learn in a forest environment. The ad ...
s, notably the Secret Garden in Scotland, where the mature attitude to risk is contrasted with the health-and-safety mentality that is more generally taken. Within school, testing and homework are singled out for criticism, while after-school activities are thought to take time away from more enjoyable times. Even sports, which are basically enjoyable and healthy, become detrimental when adults impose their focus on winning.
Consumerism Consumerism is a social and economic order that encourages the acquisition of goods and services in ever-increasing amounts. With the Industrial Revolution, but particularly in the 20th century, mass production led to overproduction—the supp ...
, in particular the pester-power of
toy advertising Toy advertising is the promotion of toys through a variety of media. Advertising campaigns for toys have been criticised for trading on children's naivete and for turning children into premature consumers. Advertising to children is usually regu ...
is said to push children and adults apart, converting their enthusiasm into a lust for costly and often useless goods. Risk aversion in
helicopter parent A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named ...
s is said to leave children unable to handle risks. In her book ''Conscious Parenting: Mindful Living Course for Parents'', Nataša Pantović describes the negative social aspects of modern technologies that discourage any other play or activity. Within her Conscious Parenting Book explaining the importance of Free Play Nataša says: "Children learn intuitively, perceiving the subtle inner relationships observing nature. Free creative play is an invaluable gift that children need to start properly relating to the outside world. Exploring, experiencing and imitating the world of grown-us through free play, children are given a chance to unconsciously learn and emotionally mature through their own games. Too much of today’s learning is structured, children are 'directed', 'instructed' and carefully 'followed' at all times, so they do not have a chance to experience learning through unobstructed observation. Children have deep devotion to life and this devotion is beautifully expressed through the free play".. The author has previously published 5 Mindfulness Books within Serial called: AoL Mindfulness Training. Nataša researches and supports the Finnish educational model where schools testing and homework are discouraged and where competition is not emphasized. In her article 'Create Freedom in the Learning Environment': Nuit says: "Children need to feel our love at all times; our love gives them confidence that they are heard, that they are present, and that they matter. A warm, loving and gentle environment is absorbed unconsciously and it gives children a wonderful start to life".


The idle parent

''The Idle Parent'' by
Tom Hodgkinson Tom Hodgkinson (born 1968) is a British writer and the editor of '' The Idler'' magazine, which he established in 1993 with his friend Gavin Pretor-Pinney. His philosophy, in his published books and articles, is of a relaxed approach to life, ...
in 2009 is an alternative to over-parenting. It has also been serialised in a newspaper column in the ''Daily Telegraph''. The central premise is that children can take care of themselves most of the time, and that the parents would be happier if they spent more time taking care of themselves too. Hodgkinson's idle parenting "does not refer to slobbing out or giving up, but rather to letting go, going with the flow, a wise and merry detachment. It is, in Aldous Huxley's phrase, an 'active resignation'." IP does not have to be costly: Many activities are free, such as lighting a fire; while others are cheap, such as buying 10-year-old
video tape Videotape is magnetic tape used for storing video and usually sound in addition. Information stored can be in the form of either an analog or digital signal. Videotape is used in both video tape recorders (VTRs) and, more commonly, videocassette ...
s from charity shops. Alongside the jests about how much children like to work, and so should be returned to Victorian workhouses, are points about letting children try to make their own breakfast (while the parents sleep), or camping in a field instead of going to an "antiseptic children's fun palace". The Idle Parent constantly moderates its zeal, for example in how completely to ban the use of television, against the excess of the
Puritan The Puritans were English Protestants in the 16th and 17th centuries who sought to purify the Church of England of Catholic Church, Roman Catholic practices, maintaining that the Church of England had not been fully reformed and should become m ...
s.


See also

*
Free-range parenting Free-range parenting is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with limited parental supervision, in accordance with their age of development and with a reasonable acceptance of realistic pers ...
*
Waldorf education Waldorf education, also known as Steiner education, is based on the educational philosophy of Rudolf Steiner, the founder of anthroposophy. Its educational style is Holistic education, holistic, intended to develop pupils' intellectual, artistic ...
*
Forest kindergarten Forest kindergarten is a type of preschool education for children between the ages of three and six that is held almost exclusively outdoors. Whatever the weather, children are encouraged to play, explore and learn in a forest environment. The ad ...
*
Helicopter parent A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named ...
(opposite) *
Concerted cultivation Concerted cultivation is a style of parenting. The expression is attributed to Annette Lareau. This parenting style or parenting practice is marked by a parent's attempts to foster their child's talents by incorporating organized activities in th ...
(opposite) *
Slow living Slow living (sloh liv-ing: Proto-Germanic ''*slæwaz'') is a lifestyle which encourages a slower approach to aspects of everyday life, involving completing tasks at a leisurely pace. The origins of this lifestyle are linked to the Italian slow food ...
* Slow Movement * The Price of Privilege


References

{{Parenting Parenting Slow movement