Jewish traditions across different eras and regions devote considerable attention to sexuality. Sexuality is the subject of many narratives and laws in the
rabbinic literature
Rabbinic literature, in its broadest sense, is the entire spectrum of rabbinic writings throughout Jewish history. However, the term often refers specifically to literature from the Talmudic era, as opposed to medieval and modern rabbinic writ ...
.
In Judaism, sexuality is viewed as having both positive and negative potential, depending on the context in which it is expressed. Many sources express a positive attitude towards sex between a married couple. On the other hand, sexual activity is also viewed as a grave sin if it is outside of the bounds of permissible behavior.
Attitudes towards sexuality within marriage
Laws and Biblical sources
According to medieval Rabbinical enumerations of the
613 commandments
The Jewish tradition that there are 613 commandments ( he, תרי״ג מצוות, taryag mitzvot) or mitzvot in the Torah (also known as the Law of Moses) is first recorded in the 3rd century AD, when Rabbi Simlai mentioned it in a sermon that i ...
mitzvah
In its primary meaning, the Hebrew word (; he, מִצְוָה, ''mīṣvā'' , plural ''mīṣvōt'' ; "commandment") refers to a commandment commanded by God to be performed as a religious duty. Jewish law () in large part consists of discus ...
in the
Torah
The Torah (; hbo, ''Tōrā'', "Instruction", "Teaching" or "Law") is the compilation of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, namely the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In that sense, Torah means the s ...
.See
Sefer haChinuch
''Sefer ha-Chinuch'' ( he, ספר החינוך, "Book of Education") is a Jewish rabbinic text which systematically discusses the 613 commandments of the Torah. It was published anonymously in 13th-century Spain. History
The work's enumeration o ...
(Jerusalem: Rav Kook Institute, 1990), p. 55. This commandment was understood by the rabbis to be only binding on men; women are exempt. One of the common explanation for this was because childbirth puts them in physical danger, therefore they cannot be ordered to accomplish an act that put them at risk. According to many thinkers, the central nature of this mitzvah is due to the fact that God desires for the world to be populated.
There is another Torah commandment known as ''
onah The Hebrew word ''onah'' (Hebrew:עוֹנָה) is used in Jewish law to refer to the interval at which a husband must satisfy his wife's conjugal needs. The word also appears in the laws of niddah.
In rabbinic Hebrew, the word literally means "due ...
'' which obligates a man to provide pleasurable sexual intercourse to his wife on a regular basis (if she desires it), even if they have already had children, or are incapable of having children.
requires a man who has been married within the last year to "gladden" his wife at home, rather than joining the army to fight in a war which is ongoing. In later Jewish tradition, this is understood as a general requirement for every husband to stay at home with his wife for the first year of marriage, and for them to "rejoice" together.
Maimonides
Musa ibn Maimon (1138–1204), commonly known as Maimonides (); la, Moses Maimonides and also referred to by the acronym Rambam ( he, רמב״ם), was a Sephardic Jewish philosopher who became one of the most prolific and influential Torah ...
permits a married couple to engage in nearly any form of sexual activity:
In many sources, it is recommended that husband and wife have sex on
Shabbat
Shabbat (, , or ; he, שַׁבָּת, Šabbāṯ, , ) or the Sabbath (), also called Shabbos (, ) by Ashkenazim, is Judaism's day of rest on the seventh day of the week—i.e., Saturday. On this day, religious Jews remember the biblical storie ...
. Often, this is said to be related to the obligation to delight in the Sabbath. There are also though other reasons that contributed to this tradition, including saying that this is the only day of the week when Torah scholars have time, or that this is in order to imitate cosmic unions that happens on Friday night between God and the Shekihnah, as imagined by the
Kabbalists
Kabbalah ( he, קַבָּלָה ''Qabbālā'', literally "reception, tradition") is an esoteric method, discipline and school of thought in Jewish mysticism. A traditional Kabbalist is called a Mekubbal ( ''Məqūbbāl'' "receiver"). The defin ...
.
Any emission of semen by a man makes him ritually impure, and if this occurs during sex with a woman, she too becomes ritually impure. However, there is no prohibition on becoming ritually impure, and no consequence to ritual impurity except the inability to visit the
Temple in Jerusalem
The Temple in Jerusalem, or alternatively the Holy Temple (; , ), refers to the two now-destroyed religious structures that served as the central places of worship for Israelites and Jews on the modern-day Temple Mount in the Old City of Jerusa ...
or touch certain sanctified objects. Since the Temple has been destroyed in the 1st c. CE, these are practically not a concern anymore.
Acceptance of the value of sex in a marriage
Some might say that in the Talmud and other classical rabbinic texts, "there is no revulsion from ustfulpleasure nor recoil from romantic passion." Others might disagree and find there texts that do reject lust, for example. One passage suggests that sexual relations are one of three activities which are "a taste of the world to come". Elsewhere, the Talmud criticizes one who sleeps in the same room as a husband and wife, preventing them from having sex that night. Another example of seemingly positive attitude to marital sexuality is
Rabbi Meir
Rabbi Meir ( he, רַבִּי מֵאִיר) was a Jewish sage who lived in the time of the Mishnah. He was considered one of the greatest of the Tannaim of the fourth generation (139-163). He is the third most frequently mentioned sage in the Mishn ...
's statement that the purpose of niddah laws is so that, upon the couple's resumption of sexual activity, "she should be as desirable to her husband as when she entered the marriage canopy."
In one story in the Talmud, while
Rav
''Rav'' (or ''Rab,'' Modern Hebrew: ) is the Hebrew generic term for a person who teaches Torah; a Jewish spiritual guide; or a rabbi. For example, Pirkei Avot (1:6) states that:
The term ''rav'' is also Hebrew for ''rabbi''. (For a more nuan ...
was having sex with his wife, his student Rav Kahana hid underneath the bed. Rav scolded Kahana for this behavior, but Kahana countered that sex is part of the Torah, and therefore he must learn about it from his teacher.
While sexual lust is categorized as a form of "evil inclination" ( yetzer hara), the rabbis recognized its necessity as a motivator of procreation, and thus described it as "very good" in one source.
Other talmudic texts show less enthusiasm regarding sexual activity. Thus, for example, some texts say that the above mentioned impurity created by ejaculation exists "in order that Torah scholars would not be with their wives like roosters" (B. Berakhot 22a): in other words, to reduce their sexual activity.
According to ''Iggeret HaKodesh'' ("The Holy Letter", a 12th-century work sometimes mistakenly attributed to Nahmanides), a man should arouse his wife during sex, and even that he should ensure that she achieves orgasm before he does. He also says: "But we who have the Torah and believe that God created all in His wisdom o not believe Godcreated anything inherently ugly or unseemly. If we were to say that intercourse is repulsive, then we blaspheme God who made the genitals". One should remember though that the goal of sexual activity according to the author of the ''ggeret HaKodesh'' is the procreation of smart and pious male children that will engage in studying the Torah. It is not for recreation.
Some medieval rabbis even allowed forms of contraception (which otherwise might be forbidden) so that couples could engage in sex for pleasure.
Ascetic views
Despite the general acceptance of sexuality in marriage as described above, some sources advocate that especially pious people should minimize their engagement in sex.
According to rabbinic sources,
Moses
Moses hbo, מֹשֶׁה, Mōše; also known as Moshe or Moshe Rabbeinu (Mishnaic Hebrew: מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּינוּ, ); syr, ܡܘܫܐ, Mūše; ar, موسى, Mūsā; grc, Mωϋσῆς, Mōÿsēs () is considered the most important pro ...
was physically separate from his wife Tzipporah while he fulfilled his role as prophet and leader of the Jewish people. This has been understood in various ways. According to one view, ritual purity is a precondition for prophecy, and Moses avoided sex to ensure he was ritually pure and able to receive prophecy at any moment. According to Maimonides, though, sexual pleasure is a distraction which is incompatible with the intellectual focus needed for high-level prophecy. No other prophet separated from his wife; only Moses had this high level of prophecy. This is not actually an ascetic view towards sexuality; rather it was a one-off exception.
Maimonides
Musa ibn Maimon (1138–1204), commonly known as Maimonides (); la, Moses Maimonides and also referred to by the acronym Rambam ( he, רמב״ם), was a Sephardic Jewish philosopher who became one of the most prolific and influential Torah ...
permits a married couple to engage in nearly any form of sexual activity, but praises one who limits sexual activity to the minimum necessary:
Nahmanides went further, writing that "sexual relations are remote and disgusting according to the Torah, except for the perpetuation of the human species".
According to Raabad, there are four permitted "kavvanot" (intentions) for a man's sexual relations which receive Divine reward: for procreation, for
welfare
Welfare, or commonly social welfare, is a type of government support intended to ensure that members of a society can meet basic human needs such as food and shelter. Social security may either be synonymous with welfare, or refer specificall ...
of the
fetus
A fetus or foetus (; plural fetuses, feti, foetuses, or foeti) is the unborn offspring that develops from an animal embryo. Following embryonic development the fetal stage of development takes place. In human prenatal development, fetal deve ...
, to fulfill a wife's desire, and that he relieves his lust through intercourse with his wife rather than in a forbidden manner. Yet the last one is a lesser reward, since the man should have had the strength to resist. If he does not show any strength, and has sex anytime he wants, this would not be rewarded. (Although sex would not be rewarded by Heaven in this last case, it is not forbidden either, and is its own ...)
Forbidden sexual acts in Judaism
Isurei bi'ah
The term ''isurei bi'ah'' (Hebrew איסורי ביאה) refers to those one may not have intercourse with. The most serious of these form a subset known as ''arayot'' (Hebrew: ), based on the word ''erva'' ("nakedness") in . Intercourse with arayot is one of the few acts in Judaism which one may not perform even to save one's life. The term ''erva'' is also used to describe parts of a female considered to be immodest and sexually provocative including a woman's hair, thighs, and singing voice.
Arayot include:
* Incestuous relations
* Male-male anal intercourse
* Bestiality
* Sex with a Jewish woman during her menstrual period (known as niddah)
Other isurei bi'ah include:
* Sexual intercourse between Jews and Gentiles
* Divorcees or female converts with Kohanim (priests)
* Mamzerim (offspring of adulterous unions) with regular Jews
When two people are forbidden from having sex together, the laws of ''
negiah
''Negiah'' ( he, נגיעה), literally "touch", is the concept in Jewish law (Halakha) that forbids or restricts sensual physical contact with a member of the opposite sex except for one's spouse, outside the niddah period, and certain close rela ...
'' prohibit them from engaging in lesser sexual touch (including hugging and kissing), while the laws of '' yichud'' prohibit them from spending time together in private in a manner that would allow them to have sex undetected. These prohibitions do not apply in certain situations where sexual relationships are unlikely, for example among close family members.
Homosexuality
The traditional view is that the
Torah
The Torah (; hbo, ''Tōrā'', "Instruction", "Teaching" or "Law") is the compilation of the first five books of the Hebrew Bible, namely the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In that sense, Torah means the s ...
forbids
anal intercourse
Anal sex or anal intercourse is generally the insertion and thrusting of the erect penis into a person's anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure.Sepages 270–271for anal sex information, anpage 118for information about the clitoris. Ot ...
between two males (i.e.
sodomy
Sodomy () or buggery (British English) is generally anal or oral sex between people, or sexual activity between a person and a non-human animal ( bestiality), but it may also mean any non- procreative sexual activity. Originally, the term ''sodo ...
), and this is the view of
Orthodox Judaism
Orthodox Judaism is the collective term for the traditionalist and theologically conservative branches of contemporary Judaism. Theologically, it is chiefly defined by regarding the Torah, both Written and Oral, as revealed by God to Moses on M ...
, based on : "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination."Rabbinic sources extend this prohibition to all other sexual acts between two men, which are prohibited similar to how they would be prohibited between an unmarried man and woman.
There is no explicit ban on female-female intercourse in the
Hebrew Bible
The Hebrew Bible or Tanakh (;"Tanach" ''Random House Webster's Unabridged Dictionary''. Hebrew: ''Tān ...
, but it is similarly condemned in later rabbinical halakhic texts.
Classical rabbinic sources also condemn marriage between two men, which they see as an activity performed by non-Jews which invited Divine punishment.
Some medieval Jewish authors wrote fiction and poetry which portrayed homosexual love positively, though often these seem to be adaptations of a style found in contemporary Arabic poetry, unlikely to be based on real-life love affairs. These narratives are not intended as literal accounts, instead conveying a more symbolic message.
In
Liberal Judaism (United Kingdom)
Liberal Judaism (until 2002: Union of Liberal and Progressive Synagogues) is one of the two WUPJ-affiliated denominations in the United Kingdom. It is smaller and more radical in comparison with the other one, the Movement for Reform Judaism. I ...
, homosexual relationships are considered acceptable, and weddings are conducted for same-sex couples. This is also true for several other liberal Jewish denominations.
Extramarital sex
Extramarital sex is frowned upon by all Jewish groups, even though its legal meaning is not always obvious; according to some authorities, it falls under a biblical prohibition. The written Torah never explicitly forbids sex outside the context of marriage, with the exception of adultery5 Questions with Professor Michael D. Coogan The Summit, October 19, 2010. New URL: http://admin2.collegepublisher.com/se/the-summit/opinion/5-questions-with-professor-michael-d-coogan-1.1716380 . Quote: "In ancient Israel, premarital sex by a woman was discouraged because in the patriarchal society of that time, a daughter was her father's property. If she was not a virgin, her value--the bride price her father would get from a prospective husband--was diminished. Also, any child born to an unmarried woman would be fatherless--the Biblical term is "orphan"-- and so, without either a male protector or any possibility of an inheritance, which was passed from father to son. There is no explicit prohibition in the Old Testament of premarital or extramarital sex by men, except for adultery, which meant having sex with another man's wife." and incest. According to , the man who entices a single woman to have sex must offer to marry her afterwards or the equivalent in compensation, unless her father refuses to allow him. This law is only for virginal women, as their value in the marriage market, as it were, decreases. Therefore, the man must either offer to marry her or pay for her lesser value, as it were, in a marriage market that highly values virginity.
Masturbation
Despite not having been explicitly prohibited in the Torah, the
Halakha
''Halakha'' (; he, הֲלָכָה, ), also transliterated as ''halacha'', ''halakhah'', and ''halocho'' ( ), is the collective body of Jewish religious laws which is derived from the written and Oral Torah. Halakha is based on biblical commandm ...
and the
Oral Torah
According to Rabbinic Judaism, the Oral Torah or Oral Law ( he, , Tōrā šebbəʿal-pe}) are those purported laws, statutes, and legal interpretations that were not recorded in the Five Books of Moses, the Written Torah ( he, , Tōrā šebbīḵ ...
view male
masturbation
Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation may involve hands, fingers, everyday objects, sex toys such as vibrators, or combinatio ...
as an Halakhic prohibition and a great sin. The attitude towards a male sperm is one of a potential future living human being, and thus, masturbation is referred to as morally, though not legally, similar to murder, in that the masturbator is exterminating his potential offspring. Kabbalistic literature declared the act of masturbation to be a major sin.
Female masturbation is less frowned upon, and indeed very rarely mentioned in any Jewish text.
In modern days, the Halakhic question on whether taking male semen for the purpose of medical examinations or insemination is a sin remains in dispute among Jewish legal authorities.
Many Ashkenazi authorities allowed for a married man to occasionally ejaculate outside his wife's body as part of their sexual relations together, following a text by
Moses Isserles
). He is not to be confused with Meir Abulafia, known as "Ramah" ( he, רמ״ה, italic=no, links=no), nor with Menahem Azariah da Fano, known as "Rema MiPano" ( he, רמ״ע מפאנו, italic=no, links=no).
Rabbi Moses Isserles ( he, משה ...
in his comments on the Shulkhan Arukh.
Sexual fantasy and pornography
The halakhic literature discusses the prohibitions of ''hirhur'' (lit. thought) and ''histaklut'' (lit. gazing). Many of the practices of
tzniut
''Tzniut'' ( he, צניעות , , ; "modesty" or "privacy"; ) describes both the character trait of modesty and discretion, as well as a group of Jewish laws pertaining to conduct. The concept is most important within Orthodox Judaism.
Des ...
(modesty) serve to prevent these prohibitions from occurring.
Sexual practices and culture
Consent
The Talmud says that a man cannot force his wife into having sex. The Talmud also claims that rebellious children will come from people who conceive a child in certain ways, including if a woman has sex out of fear of her husband, if either one is drunk, and if a woman is raped, along with other examples.
Tzniut
''Tzniut'' ( he, צניעות , , ; "modesty" or "privacy"; ) describes both the character trait of modesty and discretion, as well as a group of Jewish laws pertaining to conduct. The concept is most important within Orthodox Judaism.
Des ...
* Rabbi Lisa J. Grushcow, ''The Sacred Encounter: Jewish Perspectives on Sexuality'', CCAR Press, 2014, .
* Seymour Hoffman, ''Standards of Sexual Modesty, Gender Separation and Homosexuality: Rabbinic and Psychological Views'', Mondial, 2020, .
* Evyatar Marienberg, Traditional Jewish Sex Guidance: A History ', Brill, 2022