"Rome Antics" is a 1975 episode of the

British British may refer to: Peoples, culture, and language * British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories, and Crown Dependencies. ** Britishness, the British identity and common culture * British English, ...

comedy Comedy is a genre of fiction that consists of discourses or works intended to be humorous or amusing by inducing laughter, especially in theatre, film, stand-up comedy, television, radio, books, or any other entertainment medium. The term o ...

television series ''

The Goodies The Goodies were a trio of British comedians: Tim Brooke-Taylor (17 July 1940–12 April 2020), Graeme Garden (b. 18 February 1943) and Bill Oddie (b. 7 July 1941). The trio created, wrote for and performed in their eponymous television comed ...

''. Written by

, with songs and music by Bill Oddie.

Plot

In Queen Boadicea's

Britain Britain most often refers to: * The United Kingdom, a sovereign state in Europe comprising the island of Great Britain, the north-eastern part of the island of Ireland and many smaller islands * Great Britain, the largest island in the United King ...

, the

Ancient Ancient history is a time period from the History of writing, beginning of writing and recorded human history to as far as late antiquity. The span of recorded history is roughly 5,000 years, beginning with the Sumerian language, Sumerian c ...

Goodies are wearing animal skins, and Graeme's spectacle frames are made from wooden twigs. They live in a small one-room stone house, which is very dark, and, so that they can have extra light in their house, Graeme smashes some of the stones out from a wall with a club to make a hole. The

Romans Roman or Romans most often refers to: *Rome, the capital city of Italy * Ancient Rome, Roman civilization from 8th century BC to 5th century AD *Roman people, the people of ancient Rome *''Epistle to the Romans'', shortened to ''Romans'', a lette ...

are gradually taking over Britain, and even Tim states that the Romans'

woad ''Isatis tinctoria'', also called woad (), dyer's woad, or glastum, is a flowering plant in the family Brassicaceae (the mustard family) with a documented history of use as a blue dye and medicinal plant. Its genus name, Isatis, derives from ...

is better quality than the

woad is. Graeme and Bill are horrified at Tim's approval of Roman woad and refuse to touch the stuff — but Tim puts the Roman woad onto his face, anyway. A Roman ambassador arrives at their house on 'foot', and the Goodies hide from him. The ambassador, however, turns out to be a messenger, and he comments that the Emperor wants the Goodies to go to

Rome , established_title = Founded , established_date = 753 BC , founder = King Romulus (legendary) , image_map = Map of comune of Rome (metropolitan city of Capital Rome, region Lazio, Italy).svg , map_caption ...

. The Goodies attempt to ride to Rome on their wooden trandem, but they have trouble with the trandem so they travel to Rome on foot, instead. When they come to a crossroad, with three roads diverging from the one they are on, they are undecided as to which road they should take. However, there is a signpost with the word "Rome" pointing to each of the three roads. Also, the Goodies have a map with the words "All roads lead to Rome", so they decide to take different routes from each other — finally ending up at exactly the same spot as each other, at exactly the same time. In Rome, the Emperor goes onto a balcony to talk to his subjects, but the Romans do not want to listen to him, and throw fruit and vegetables at him (which the Emperor then picks up a cucumber and, looking at the people outside the Palace, he asks them: "Did you throw that? … ''Cheeky''!"). The Emperor meets the Goodies and tells them that he wants them to take over the entertainment. When the Emperor later complains about his life, Tim comments that ''he'' would like to be Emperor — so the Emperor hands over the position to Tim (who immediately sets up vacation areas all over Rome and intends to invite people from all over to come to Rome). Graeme, who is in charge of entertainment, arranges it, including sending out invitations to people from other lands to come to Rome. Meanwhile, the

Vandal The Vandals were a Germanic people who first inhabited what is now southern Poland. They established Vandal kingdoms on the Iberian Peninsula, Mediterranean islands, and North Africa in the fifth century. The Vandals migrated to the area betw ...

s, who have also received the Goodies' invitation to go to Rome, are on the move, burning and

pillaging Looting is the act of stealing, or the taking of goods by force, typically in the midst of a military, political, or other social crisis, such as war, natural disasters (where law and civil enforcement are temporarily ineffective), or rioting. ...

everything in their wake. The Vandals are led by the ferocious and fearsome "

Attila the Hun Attila (, ; ), frequently called Attila the Hun, was the ruler of the Huns from 434 until his death in March 453. He was also the leader of a tribal empire consisting of Huns, Ostrogoths, Alans, and Bulgars, among others, in Central and Ea ...

". The Goodies go to the

Colosseum The Colosseum ( ; it, Colosseo ) is an oval amphitheatre in the centre of the city of Rome, Italy, just east of the Roman Forum. It is the largest ancient amphitheatre ever built, and is still the largest standing amphitheatre in the world to ...

to entertain the spectators, including throwing hoops onto nails, and, in so doing, inadvertently inventing the five

Olympic Rings The International Olympic Committee (IOC) uses icons, flags and symbols to elevate the Olympic Games. These symbols include those commonly used during Olympic competition—such as the flame, fanfare and theme—as well as those used throughout ...

. The Vandals arrive and the Goodies make a hasty retreat away from the area, with Tim carrying a lit torch so they can see their way. As the Goodies run through the streets of Rome, the flaming torch burns clothes, which are hanging on clotheslines. Emperor Tim also finds a violin in a glass case, with the words "Break glass in case of fire". Following the instructions, Tim opens instead of breaking the glass and removes the violin, which he then plays — while, in the distance, the fire, which was accidentally started by Tim's torch, takes hold and burns Rome. As they run away, life holds one final surprise for the Ancient Goodies.

Cultural references

— who was the most powerful of the

king King is the title given to a male monarch in a variety of contexts. The female equivalent is queen, which title is also given to the consort of a king. *In the context of prehistory, antiquity and contemporary indigenous peoples, the tit ...

s of

Huns The Huns were a nomadic people who lived in Central Asia, the Caucasus, and Eastern Europe between the 4th and 6th century AD. According to European tradition, they were first reported living east of the Volga River, in an area that was part ...

Nero Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus ( ; born Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus; 15 December AD 37 – 9 June AD 68), was the fifth Roman emperor and final emperor of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, reigning from AD 54 un ...

Olympic rings The International Olympic Committee (IOC) uses icons, flags and symbols to elevate the Olympic Games. These symbols include those commonly used during Olympic competition—such as the flame, fanfare and theme—as well as those used throughout ...

Olympic torch The Olympic flame is a symbol used in the Olympic movement. It is also a symbol of continuity between ancient and modern games. Several months before the Olympic Games, the Olympic flame is lit at Olympia, Greece. This ceremony starts the Olympic ...

Venus de Milo The ''Venus de Milo'' (; el, Αφροδίτη της Μήλου, Afrodíti tis Mílou) is an ancient Greek sculpture that was created during the Hellenistic period, sometime between 150 and 125 BC. It is one of the most famous works of ancient ...

References

* "''The Complete Goodies''" — Robert Ross, B T Batsford, London, 2000 * "''The Goodies Rule OK''" — Robert Ross, Carlton Books Ltd, Sydney, 2006 * "''From Fringe to Flying Circus'' — 'Celebrating a Unique Generation of Comedy 1960-1980'" — Roger Wilmut, Eyre Methuen Ltd, 1980 * "''The Goodies Episode Summaries''" — Brett Allender * "''The Goodies — Fact File''" — Matthew K. Sharp

External links

* {{The Goodies episodes The Goodies (series 5) episodes 1975 British television episodes Fiction set in Roman Britain Colosseum Cultural depictions of Attila the Hun Television episodes set in ancient Rome