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The fortnightly
British British may refer to: Peoples, culture, and language * British people, nationals or natives of the United Kingdom, British Overseas Territories, and Crown Dependencies. ** Britishness, the British identity and common culture * British English, ...
satirical Satire is a genre of the visual, literary, and performing arts, usually in the form of fiction and less frequently non-fiction, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, often with the intent of shaming or e ...
magazine A magazine is a periodical publication, generally published on a regular schedule (often weekly or monthly), containing a variety of content. They are generally financed by advertising, purchase price, prepaid subscriptions, or by a combinatio ...
''
Private Eye ''Private Eye'' is a British fortnightly satire, satirical and current affairs (news format), current affairs news magazine, founded in 1961. It is published in London and has been edited by Ian Hislop since 1986. The publication is widely r ...
'' has long had a reputation for using
euphemistic A euphemism () is an innocuous word or expression used in place of one that is deemed offensive or suggests something unpleasant. Some euphemisms are intended to amuse, while others use bland, inoffensive terms for concepts that the user wishes ...
and irreverent substitute names and titles for people, groups and organisations and has coined a number of expressions to describe sex, drugs, alcohol and other aspects of human activity. Over the years these names and expressions have become
in-joke An in-joke, also known as an inside joke or a private joke, is a joke whose humour is understandable only to members of an ingroup; that is, people who are ''in'' a particular social group, occupation, or other community of shared interest. It i ...
s, used frequently in the magazine without explanation. Some have passed into general usage and can be found in other media and everyday conversation.


Euphemisms

* "Ugandan discussions", or a variation thereof (such as "discussing Ugandan affairs"), is often used as a euphemism for sex, usually while carrying out a supposedly official duty. The term originally referred to an incident at a party hosted by journalist
Neal Ascherson Charles Neal Ascherson (born 5 October 1932) is a Scottish journalist and writer. He has been described by Radio Prague as "one of Britain's leading experts on central and eastern Europe". Ascherson is the author of several books on the history ...
and his first wife, at which fellow journalist
Mary Kenny Mary Kenny (born 4 April 1944) is an Irish journalist, broadcaster and playwright. A founding member of the Irish Women's Liberation Movement, she was one of the country's first and foremost feminists, often contributes columns to the ''Irish I ...
allegedly had a "meaningful confrontation" with a former cabinet minister in the government of
Milton Obote Apollo Milton Obote (28 December 1925 – 10 October 2005) was a Ugandan political leader who led Uganda to independence from British colonial rule in 1962. Following the nation's independence, he served as prime minister of Uganda from 1962 to ...
, later claiming that they were "upstairs discussing Uganda". The poet
James Fenton James is a common English language surname and given name: *James (name), the typically masculine first name James * James (surname), various people with the last name James James or James City may also refer to: People * King James (disambiguat ...
apparently coined the term. The saying is sometimes wrongly said to derive from a slanderous lie told by the late
Uganda }), is a landlocked country in East Africa East Africa, Eastern Africa, or East of Africa, is the eastern subregion of the African continent. In the United Nations Statistics Division scheme of geographic regions, 10-11-(16*) territor ...
n dictator
Idi Amin Idi Amin Dada Oumee (, ; 16 August 2003) was a Ugandan military officer and politician who served as the third president of Uganda from 1971 to 1979. He ruled as a military dictator and is considered one of the most brutal despots in modern w ...
about his female foreign minister, when he claimed that he had fired her on 28 November 1974 for having sex with an unnamed white man in a toilet at a
Paris Paris () is the capital and most populous city of France, with an estimated population of 2,165,423 residents in 2019 in an area of more than 105 km² (41 sq mi), making it the 30th most densely populated city in the world in 2020. S ...
airport, but his lie came over 20 months after the phrase was first used by ''Private Eye'' on 9March 1973.Adrian Room ''Brewer's Dictionary of Modern Phrase and Fable'', London: Cassell, 2000, pp. 714–5 The euphemism has variations: for example, before his marriage, a senior member of the
Royal family A royal family is the immediate family of kings/queens, emirs/emiras, sultans/ sultanas, or raja/ rani and sometimes their extended family. The term imperial family appropriately describes the family of an emperor or empress, and the term ...
allegedly went on holiday with an ex- Page Three girl, whereupon ''Private Eye'' reported he had contracted a "Ugandan virus". In 1996, "Getting back to basics" was suggested as a replacement euphemism after the policy of the same name adopted by
John Major Sir John Major (born 29 March 1943) is a British former politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party (UK), Leader of the Conservative Party from 1990 to 1997, and as Member of Parliament ...
's government, which some ''Private Eye'' contributors regarded as hypocritical. This view was vindicated by Conservative MP
Edwina Currie Edwina Currie (' Cohen; born 13 October 1946) is a British writer, broadcaster and former politician, serving as Conservative Party Member of Parliament for South Derbyshire from 1983 until 1997. She was a Junior Health Minister for two year ...
's subsequent confirmation of a four-year affair with John Major in her book ''Diaries''. * "
Tired and emotional The phrase "tired and emotional" is a chiefly British euphemism for alcohol intoxication. It was popularised by the British satirical magazine '' Private Eye'' in 1967 after being used in a spoof diplomatic memo to describe the state of Labou ...
" is a euphemism for drunk, used in the British press to avoid
libel Defamation is the act of communicating to a third party false statements about a person, place or thing that results in damage to its reputation. It can be spoken (slander) or written (libel). It constitutes a tort or a crime. The legal defini ...
laws. It was coined by ''Private Eye'' after a BBC report which used the term in describing 1960s
Labour Labour or labor may refer to: * Childbirth, the delivery of a baby * Labour (human activity), or work ** Manual labour, physical work ** Wage labour, a socioeconomic relationship between a worker and an employer ** Organized labour and the labour ...
party cabinet minister and Deputy Leader
George Brown George Brown may refer to: Arts and entertainment * George Loring Brown (1814–1889), American landscape painter * George Douglas Brown (1869–1902), Scottish novelist * George Williams Brown (1894–1963), Canadian historian and editor * G ...
(who was an
alcoholic Alcoholism is, broadly, any drinking of alcohol that results in significant mental or physical health problems. Because there is disagreement on the definition of the word ''alcoholism'', it is not a recognized diagnostic entity. Predomin ...
). It first appeared in a parody memo supposedly informing civil servants how to describe Brown's conduct and state of mind. Due to the near-impossibility of proving intoxication without forensic evidence, journalists came to use the phrase as a way of describing drunkenness without inviting libel charges. In 1957 a trio of Labour politicians,
Aneurin Bevan Aneurin "Nye" Bevan PC (; 15 November 1897 – 6 July 1960) was a Welsh Labour Party politician, noted for tenure as Minister of Health in Clement Attlee's government in which he spearheaded the creation of the British National Health ...
,
Morgan Phillips Morgan Walter Phillips (18 June 1902 – 15 January 1963) was a colliery worker and trade union activist who became the General Secretary of the British Labour Party, involved in two of the party's election victories. Life Born in Aberdare, Gl ...
and
Richard Crossman Richard Howard Stafford Crossman (15 December 1907 – 5 April 1974) was a British Labour Party politician. A university classics lecturer by profession, he was elected a Member of Parliament in 1945 and became a significant figure among the ...
, successfully sued ''
The Spectator ''The Spectator'' is a weekly British magazine on politics, culture, and current affairs. It was first published in July 1828, making it the oldest surviving weekly magazine in the world. It is owned by Frederick Barclay, who also owns ''The ...
'' over just such an allegation, which Crossman admitted in his diary was true of one of the three. The phrase was allegedly first used by a
BBC #REDIRECT BBC #REDIRECT BBC Here i going to introduce about the best teacher of my life b BALAJI sir. He is the precious gift that I got befor 2yrs . How has helped and thought all the concept and made my success in the 10th board exam. ...
...
press officer in November 1963, as a description of Brown's condition when interviewed at very short notice on the night of the assassination of
John F. Kennedy John Fitzgerald Kennedy (May 29, 1917 – November 22, 1963), often referred to by his initials JFK and the nickname Jack, was an American politician who served as the 35th president of the United States from 1961 until his assassination ...
; the magazine subsequently borrowed the phrase. Doubt must be cast on this claim because the programme on which Brown appeared was not broadcast by the BBC but by
Associated-Rediffusion Associated-Rediffusion, later Rediffusion London, was the British ITV franchise holder for London and parts of the surrounding counties, on weekdays between 22 September 1955 and 29 July 1968. It was the first ITA franchisee to go on air, ...
. The
Defamation Act 2013 The Defamation Act 2013 (c 26) is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom, which reformed English defamation law on issues of the right to freedom of expression and the protection of reputation. It also comprised a response to perception ...
introduced a number of important defences. * ''"Arkell v. Pressdram"'' denotes a robust response to a claim of defamationspecifically, "fuck off". ''Private Eye'' had covered the case of a Mr. J. Arkell, whom the ''Eye'' accused of receiving kickbacks from a debt collection agency in his role as retail credit manager at Granada Group. The plaintiff's lawyers wrote a letter which concluded "His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply". The magazine's response was, in full, "We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell. We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows:
fuck off Fuck off may also refer to: * ''Fuck Off'', an art exhibition that ran alongside the Shanghai Biennial Festival in 2000 * "Fuck Off", a 1977 song by Wayne County & the Electric Chairs * "Fuck Off", the preliminary title of "Le Freak", a 1978 so ...
". In the years following, the magazine would refer to the exchange as a euphemism for a blunt and coarse dismissal, "We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram". Although the case was never pursued, the phrase has become part of legal folklore, well enough understood to be referred to by
David Allen Green David Allen Green (born 28 March 1971; 'Allen' is his second forename) is an English lawyer and writer. He is the former legal correspondent for the ''New Statesman''; writes about law and policy for the ''Financial Times''; and has previously b ...
in a general article, but relying on the response might not always be wise.


Stereotypical and exaggerated personifications of people and organisations

* Sir Herbert Gussett is a fictional character who is forever sending "Dear Sir" letters to the Press, usually ''
The Daily Telegraph ''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally. It was fo ...
'' or the ''
Daily Express The ''Daily Express'' is a national daily United Kingdom middle-market newspaper printed in tabloid format. Published in London, it is the flagship of Express Newspapers, owned by publisher Reach plc. It was first published as a broadsheet i ...
''. In the early 1980s he lived in Lymeswold, but he has since given addresses in
Wiltshire Wiltshire (; abbreviated Wilts) is a historic and ceremonial county in South West England with an area of . It is landlocked and borders the counties of Dorset to the southwest, Somerset to the west, Hampshire to the southeast, Gloucestershire ...
,
Dorset Dorset ( ; archaically: Dorsetshire , ) is a county in South West England on the English Channel coast. The ceremonial county comprises the unitary authority areas of Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole and Dorset (unitary authority), Dors ...
and
Oxfordshire Oxfordshire is a ceremonial and non-metropolitan county in the north west of South East England. It is a mainly rural county, with its largest settlement being the city of Oxford. The county is a centre of research and development, primarily ...
. * Sir Bufton Tufton is the
Conservative Conservatism is a cultural, social, and political philosophy that seeks to promote and to preserve traditional institutions, practices, and values. The central tenets of conservatism may vary in relation to the culture and civilization i ...
MP for somewhere-or-other, and during the Thatcher government sat on the
back benches ''Back Benches'' was a New Zealand political interview show, presented by Wallace Chapman and Damian Christie. It was primarily filmed at the Backbencher pub, across the street from Parliament Buildings in Wellington. The show was cancelled o ...
. The name was inspired by that of a real-life Tory backbencher, Sir Tufton Beamish, who sat for Lewes 1945–1974, but the character was modelled on MPs who were well to the right of Beamish. Sir Bufton's constituency was usually the fictitious safe rural seat of "Lymeswold" (named from a commercially produced cheese), and although this was subject to topical change, his greediness, laziness, bigotry and incompetence remained constant. A file photo was frequently used, which turned out to be a picture of a real-life Conservative councillor, which eventually drew a "good-natured complaint" letter from the "innocent victim." * Mike Giggler, an e-mail correspondent in newspaper letters pages, usually appearing at the bottom of the page having sent in a particularly unfunny
pun A pun, also known as paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophoni ...
as often seen at the bottom of the ''Guardian'' letters page. * Lord Gnome is purported to be the proprietor of the magazine, and is an amalgam of various different media magnates. Originally modelled on figures including
Lord Beaverbrook William Maxwell Aitken, 1st Baron Beaverbrook (25 May 1879 – 9 June 1964), generally known as Lord Beaverbrook, was a Canadian-British newspaper publisher and backstage politician who was an influential figure in British media and politics o ...
and
Lord Thomson of Fleet Roy Herbert Thomson, 1st Baron Thomson of Fleet, (5 June 1894 – 4 August 1976) was a Canadian-born British newspaper proprietor who became one of the moguls of Fleet Street in London. He first came to prominence when he was selling radios in ...
, first appearing under the name "Aristides P. Gnome" in the early 1960s, Lord Gnome has since accumulated other characteristics to encompass the likes of
Rupert Murdoch Keith Rupert Murdoch ( ; born 11 March 1931) is an Australian-born American business magnate. Through his company News Corp, he is the owner of hundreds of local, national, and international publishing outlets around the world, including ...
. He is portrayed in the magazine as a man of great wealth, greed, unscrupulousness and vulgarity. Lord Gnome rarely writes under his own name, but issues his proclamations, editorials and threats through a fictional underling named Emmanuel Strobes, with reference frequently made to his Lordship's "assistant", Miss Rita Chevrolet. Rita Chevrolet's name is a parody of French exotic dancer Rita Cadillac. :Lord Gnome, as well as being a media magnate, is regularly referred to as having other business interests. Special offers from "Gnomemart" frequently appear in the magazine, which also carries an occasional column called "The Curse of Gnome", chronicling the subsequent misfortunes of those who have in the past taken legal action against the publication. In 1993, during the only televised ceremony for ''Private Eye'' Bore of the Year Awards ("the Boftys"), Lord Gnome (played by
Peter Cook Peter Edward Cook (17 November 1937 – 9 January 1995) was an English actor, comedian, satirist, playwright and screenwriter. He was the leading figure of the British satire boom of the 1960s, and he was associated with the anti-establishme ...
) made a brief appearance on a satellite hook-up from his yacht, pushing a member of the yacht's crew overboard in a parody of
Robert Maxwell Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster. Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from N ...
's death. The word "Gnome" may refer to the Gnomes of Zürich. Occasionally Lord Gnome is an oblique reference to editor
Ian Hislop Ian David Hislop (born 13 July 1960) is a British journalist, satirist, writer, broadcaster, and editor of the magazine ''Private Eye''. He has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes and has been a team captain on the BBC quiz show ...
. In the sporting world, Lord Gnome CC is a nomadic cricket side, founded in 1963, that is named after the fictitious proprietor. * Inspector Knacker, also referred to as "Knacker of the Yard", is a senior (and possibly unreliable) police officer. The name alludes both to
knacker A knacker (), knackerman or knacker man is a person who removes and clears animal carcasses (dead, dying, injured) from private farms or public highways and renders the collected carcasses into by-products such as fats, tallow (yellow grease ...
s' yards, where old horses are sent to be put down and their carcases disposed of, and to "Slipper of the Yard", the nickname given to real-life police
Chief Superintendent Chief superintendent is a senior rank in police forces, especially in those organised on the United Kingdom, British model. Rank insignia of chief superintendent File:Sa-police-chief-superintendent.png, South Australia Police File:RCMP Chief Su ...
Jack Slipper Jack Kenneth Slipper (20 April 1924, in London – 24 August 2005, in Pershore) was a Detective Chief Superintendent in the Metropolitan Police in London. He was known as "Slipper of the Yard" (referring to Scotland Yard). He was mainly know ...
of
Scotland Yard Scotland Yard (officially New Scotland Yard) is the headquarters of the Metropolitan Police, the territorial police force responsible for policing Greater London's 32 boroughs, but not the City of London, the square mile that forms London's ...
. The name may be used in reference either to individual policemen ("Another top Knacker resigns"), or to the police in general ("These allegations are being looked into by Inspector Knacker"). If the story refers to police activities in Scotland, Wales, or Ireland, the name may be changed to "McKnacker", "Dai Knacker", or "O'Knacker", respectively. * Mr Justice Cocklecarrot usually presides over court cases.
Beachcomber A beachcomber is a person who practices beachcombing. Beachcomber or Beachcombers may also refer to: Arts and entertainment * ''The Beachcomber'' (1915 film), an American drama * ''The Beachcomber'' (1938 film), starring Charles Laughton and a ...
wrote a humorous column in the ''
Daily Express The ''Daily Express'' is a national daily United Kingdom middle-market newspaper printed in tabloid format. Published in London, it is the flagship of Express Newspapers, owned by publisher Reach plc. It was first published as a broadsheet i ...
'' for over fifty years, and Cocklecarrot J. was a regular feature. * Sue, Grabbitt and Runne is a fictitious firm of
solicitor A solicitor is a legal practitioner who traditionally deals with most of the legal matters in some jurisdictions. A person must have legally-defined qualifications, which vary from one jurisdiction to another, to be described as a solicitor and ...
s retained to engage in lawsuits both real and fictional. These are often frivolous, pointless, cynical or without foundation (see Arkell v Pressdramabove) but not always.
Danny La Rue Danny La Rue, (born Daniel Patrick Carroll, 26 July 1927 – 31 May 2009) was an Irish singer and entertainer, best known for his on-stage drag queen, drag persona. He performed in drag and also as himself in theatrical productions, television ...
, a well-known
female impersonator A drag queen is a person, usually male, who uses drag clothing and makeup to imitate and often exaggerate female gender signifiers and gender roles for entertainment purposes. Historically, drag queens have usually been gay men, and part of ...
, appeared on the front cover in a photograph taken at the
Royal Variety Performance The ''Royal Variety Performance'' is a televised variety show held annually in the United Kingdom to raise money for the Royal Variety Charity (of which King Charles III is life-patron). It is attended by senior members of the British royal f ...
of him with
Liberace Władziu Valentino Liberace (May 16, 1919 – February 4, 1987) was an American pianist, singer, and actor. A child prodigy born in Wisconsin to parents of Italian and Polish origin, he enjoyed a career spanning four decades of concerts, recordi ...
, who was ballooned as saying "I think your English queens are wonderful". La Rue supposedly responded by threatening to "go to the family solicitors, Rue, Grabbit and Son" (he was aggrieved at the implication that he was homosexual). In more serious cases, ''Private Eye'' often cites "Carter-Fuck", a derogatory reference to
Peter Carter-Ruck Peter Frederick Carter-Ruck (26 February 1914 – 19 December 2003) was an English solicitor, specialising in libel cases. The firm he founded, Carter-Ruck, is still practising. Biography Personal life Carter-Ruck was educated at St Edward's ...
of the law firm
Carter Ruck Carter-Ruck is a British law firm founded by Peter Carter-Ruck. The firm specialises in libel, privacy, international law and commercial disputes. The leading legal directories (Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners) rank Carter-Ruck in the top t ...
, which had a reputation for taking on
defamation Defamation is the act of communicating to a third party false statements about a person, place or thing that results in damage to its reputation. It can be spoken (slander) or written (libel). It constitutes a tort or a crime. The legal defini ...
cases at great expense to clients and claiming particularly high damages, regardless of the gravity of the case. * St Cake's School is an imaginary
public school Public school may refer to: * State school (known as a public school in many countries), a no-fee school, publicly funded and operated by the government * Public school (United Kingdom), certain elite fee-charging independent schools in England an ...
, run by Mr R. J. Kipling (BA, Leicester). The headmaster's name is part of the joke regarding the name "St Cake's", in reference to
Mr Kipling Mr Kipling is a brand of cakes, pies and baked goods made in Carlton, South Yorkshire and Stoke-on-Trent, and marketed in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and North America. It was introduced in May 1967 (at a time when cakes were more of ...
cakes. Articles featuring the school parody the "Court and Social" columns of ''
The Times ''The Times'' is a British daily national newspaper based in London. It began in 1785 under the title ''The Daily Universal Register'', adopting its current name on 1 January 1788. ''The Times'' and its sister paper ''The Sunday Times'' (fou ...
'' and ''
The Daily Telegraph ''The Daily Telegraph'', known online and elsewhere as ''The Telegraph'', is a national British daily broadsheet newspaper published in London by Telegraph Media Group and distributed across the United Kingdom and internationally. It was fo ...
'', and the traditions and customs of the public school system. The school's motto is ''Quis paget entrat'' (Who pays gets in), although variations on this arise from time to time, such as when the school decided to admit only the daughters of very rich Asian businessmen, and the motto became ''All praise to the prophet, and death to the infidel''. While the school's newsletters feature extraordinary and unlikely results and prizes, events such as speech days, founders' days, term dates and feast days are announced with topical themes, such as under-age drinking, drug abuse, obesity, celebrity culture, anti-social behaviour and cheating in exams. The school is sometimes referred to as "the
Eton Eton most commonly refers to Eton College, a public school in Eton, Berkshire, England. Eton may also refer to: Places *Eton, Berkshire, a town in Berkshire, England * Eton, Georgia, a town in the United States * Éton, a commune in the Meuse dep ...
of the
West Midlands West or Occident is one of the four cardinal directions or points of the compass. It is the opposite direction from east and is the direction in which the Sun sets on the Earth. Etymology The word "west" is a Germanic word passed into some ...
", in reference to that area's relative lack of such schools. *
Neasden Neasden is a suburban area in northwest London, England. It is located around the centre of the London Borough of Brent and is within the NW2 ( Cricklewood) and NW10 (Willesden) postal districts. Neasden is near Wembley Stadium, the Welsh Har ...
is a
Greater London Greater may refer to: *Greatness, the state of being great *Greater than, in inequality (mathematics), inequality *Greater (film), ''Greater'' (film), a 2016 American film *Greater (flamingo), the oldest flamingo on record *Greater (song), "Greate ...
suburb which is the location of various parody institutions, and is often given as the origin of fictional letters. In 1971,
Richard Ingrams Richard Reid Ingrams (born 19 August 1937 in Chelsea, London, Chelsea, London) is an English journalist, a co-founder and second editor of the British satire, satirical magazine ''Private Eye (magazine), Private Eye'', and founding editor of ' ...
said simply that Neasden was used "to denote the contemporary urban environment". Stories from the world of football are satirised in "reports" by E.I. Addio (a reference to the
football chant A football chant or terrace chant is form of vocalisation performed by supporters of association football, typically during football matches. Football chanting is an expression of collective identity, most often used by fans to express their p ...
''
Ee Aye Addio Ee Aye Addio is a traditional United Kingdom, British celebratory soccer, football crowd song. The usual format is ''"We've won the cup, we've won the cup, ee aye addio, we've won the cup".'' Variations are often made up on the spur of the momen ...
'') about the mythical and notoriously under-performing club Neasden F.C., which plays in the deliciously depressing North Circular Relegation League, with quotes from its manager "tight-lipped, ashen-faced supremo Ron Knee (59)" and "the fans" (implying that there were only two) Sid and Doris Bonkers. Sid and Doris Hill are occasionally given as the fans' names, a pun on the suburb of
Dollis Hill Dollis Hill is an area in northwest London, which consists of the streets surrounding the 35 hectares (86 acres) Gladstone Park. It is served by a London Underground station, Dollis Hill, on the Jubilee line, providing good links to central Lon ...
, which is near Neasden. The club's recent misfortunes lampooned the recent tribulations of major clubs in the national news. Often, underneath a spoof sports story, the sub-column "late result" would appear, reporting on a match recently played by Neasden. This normally involved a humorously unlikely team, often one related to current affairs, such as
Taleban The Taliban (; ps, طالبان, ṭālibān, lit=students or 'seekers'), which also refers to itself by its state name, the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, is a Deobandi Islamic fundamentalist, militant Islamist, jihadist, and Pa ...
FC. Neasden nearly always lose by a huge margin, often owing to own goals scored by veteran player "Baldy" Pevsner, who often scores a consolation "one boot", and in spite of the efforts of their goalkeeper, "One-legged net-minder Wally Foot". Neasden is also the setting for the regular column Neasden Police Log, a fictional log-entry style police report that almost invariably depicts the police as racist, incompetent, and obsessed with observing politically correct rules at the expense of maintaining law and order. In 1970, "Neasden" was a brief hit put in the Eye as a throwaway plastic
single Single may refer to: Arts, entertainment, and media * Single (music), a song release Songs * "Single" (Natasha Bedingfield song), 2004 * "Single" (New Kids on the Block and Ne-Yo song), 2008 * "Single" (William Wei song), 2016 * "Single", by ...
, sung by William Rushton, who contributed to the ''Eye'' as a cartoonist: it can be heard in
John Betjeman Sir John Betjeman (; 28 August 190619 May 1984) was an English poet, writer, and broadcaster. He was Poet Laureate from 1972 until his death. He was a founding member of The Victorian Society and a passionate defender of Victorian architecture, ...
's TV documentary ''
Metro-land Metro-land (or Metroland) is a name given to the suburban areas that were built to the north-west of London in the counties of Buckinghamshire, Hertfordshire and Middlesex in the early part of the 20th century that were served by the Metropolita ...
'' as a backing track. Betjeman also worked briefly on the magazine, establishing its "Nooks & Corners" architecture criticism column. * Spiggy Topes is, with or without his group The Turds, the archetypal rock star, often used when the magazine wishes to satirise the antics of the more pretentious members of the rock establishment. His persona appears to owe a good deal to
John Lennon John Winston Ono Lennon (born John Winston Lennon; 9 October 19408 December 1980) was an English singer, songwriter, musician and peace activist who achieved worldwide fame as founder, co-songwriter, co-lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of ...
and
Mick Jagger Sir Michael Philip Jagger (born 26 July 1943) is an English singer and songwriter who has achieved international fame as the lead vocalist and one of the founder members of the rock band the Rolling Stones. His ongoing songwriting partnershi ...
, although
Paul McCartney Sir James Paul McCartney (born 18 June 1942) is an English singer, songwriter and musician who gained worldwide fame with the Beatles, for whom he played bass guitar and shared primary songwriting and lead vocal duties with John Lennon. One ...
's fashion designer daughter Stella was once referred to as Stella Topes. In some entries, Topes has received both a knighthood and a more refined version of his name"Sir Spigismund Topes". * Dave Spart is a parody of a stereotypical left-wing agitator who featured in editions of the 1970s and from time to time since (for example, after the
2011 England riots The 2011 England riots, more widely known as the London riots, were a series of riots between 6 and 11 August 2011. Thousands of people rioted in cities and towns across England, which saw looting, arson, as well as mass deployment of police ...
and following the split in
Corbyn Corbyn is a surname and a given name. Notable people with the name include: Surname * Frederick Corbyn (1791–1853), British surgeon in India * Jeremy Corbyn (born 1949), British politician and leader of the Labour Party 2015–2020 * Piers Corbyn ...
's Shadow Cabinet over the bombing of Syria and
military intervention against ISIL In response to rapid territorial gains made by the so-called Islamic State during the first half of 2014, and its universally condemned executions, reported human rights abuses and the fear of further spillovers of the Syrian Civil War, many st ...
). Occasionally, his sister, Deirdre Spart, has offered her views. ''Private Eye'' often refers to real-life hard-left activists as "Spartists", itself a parody of the left-wing
Spartacist League The Spartacus League (German: ''Spartakusbund'') was a Marxist revolutionary movement organized in Germany during World War I. It was founded in August 1914 as the "International Group" by Rosa Luxemburg, Karl Liebknecht, Clara Zetkin, and other ...
.
Ken Livingstone Kenneth Robert Livingstone (born 17 June 1945) is an English politician who served as the Leader of the Greater London Council (GLC) from 1981 until the council was abolished in 1986, and as Mayor of London from the creation of the office i ...
is sometimes lampooned as Ken Leninspart. * A taxi driver writes is a spoof of generally right-wing views of politicians, and parodies taxi drivers' chat with customers, frequently ending with some figure prominent in the news of the day ("I had that nsert namein the back of the cab the other day... lovely fella") or with blunt advocacy of
capital punishment Capital punishment, also known as the death penalty, is the state-sanctioned practice of deliberately killing a person as a punishment for an actual or supposed crime, usually following an authorized, rule-governed process to conclude that t ...
("String 'em up, I say. It's the only language they understand"). * Sir Hartley Redface, archetypal grasping and unscrupulous barrister, so called presumably for the effects on his appearance of his fondness for fine clarets. Usually pleads before the eminent and eminently out-of-touch Judge Cocklecarrot. * Polly Filler is a female columnist who constantly describes her dealings with put-upon au pairs and her husband "the useless Simon". Her name is a parody of Polyfilla, a British brand of putty used to repair defects in walls and ceilings. *
E. J. Thribb E. J. Thribb is the fictitious poet-in-residence at the satirical magazine '' Private Eye''. The character was created in 1972 by Barry Fantoni, who wrote the poems until 2010, when he was succeeded by other staff members. Thribb's poems are usua ...
is an insipid poet, eternally aged 17½. * Alceste Diocletian Penumbra is a spoof octogenarian poet, often appearing in the Literary Review "What You Didn't Miss Pt. 94". He is described as a leading member of the undeservedly little-known, Cambridge-based "Recherche Group" and hailed both as "the one solitary genius of the post-post-modern age" and "the world's first ante-post-modernist". His anthologies include ''Concrete Faxes'' (his debut), ''Einstein Agogo'', ''Than With Whom What Other (A Challenge to Scansion)'', and ''Shriven by the Zodiac''. * Snipcock and Tweed is a caricature based on the London publishing firm
Weidenfeld and Nicolson Weidenfeld & Nicolson Ltd (established 1949), often shortened to W&N or Weidenfeld, is a British publisher of fiction and reference books. It has been a division of the French-owned Orion Publishing Group since 1991. History George Weidenfeld a ...
, according to Charles Moore in ''
The Spectator ''The Spectator'' is a weekly British magazine on politics, culture, and current affairs. It was first published in July 1828, making it the oldest surviving weekly magazine in the world. It is owned by Frederick Barclay, who also owns ''The ...
'', who describes the joke as "slightly
anti-Semitic Antisemitism (also spelled anti-semitism or anti-Semitism) is hostility to, prejudice towards, or discrimination against Jews. A person who holds such positions is called an antisemite. Antisemitism is considered to be a form of racism. Antis ...
".


Nicknames, names intentionally misspelled or misstated


People

* Prime Minister
Harold Wilson James Harold Wilson, Baron Wilson of Rievaulx, (11 March 1916 – 24 May 1995) was a British politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom twice, from October 1964 to June 1970, and again from March 1974 to April 1976. He ...
was always named as "Wislon", a name also later applied to
A. N. Wilson Andrew Norman Wilson (born 27 October 1950)"A. N. Wilson"
''Encyclopædia Britannica''.
. Occasionally he was referred to as "Lord Loinwash" an anagram of Harold Wilson. *
Sir James Goldsmith Sir James Michael Goldsmith (26 February 1933 – 18 July 1997) was a French-British financier, tycoon''Billionaire: The Life and Times of Sir James Goldsmith'' by Ivan Fallon and politician who was a member of the Goldsmith family. His contr ...
, a frequent and vindictive litigant, was referred to by a number of nicknames including Sir Jams, Sir Jammy Fishpaste, and Sir James Goldfinger. Goldsmith's short-lived magazine '' Now!'' was renamed ''
Talbot Talbot was an automobile marque introduced in 1902 by English-French company Clément-Talbot. The founders, Charles Chetwynd-Talbot, 20th Earl of Shrewsbury and Adolphe Clément-Bayard, reduced their financial interests in their Clément-Talbot ...
!'' * Writer Paul Johnson is referred to as "Paul 'Loonybins' Johnson." *
Robert Maxwell Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster. Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from N ...
, another perennial litigant against the ''Eye'', was referred to as Cap'n Bob and the Bouncing Czech, the latter apparently conferred by
Harold Wilson James Harold Wilson, Baron Wilson of Rievaulx, (11 March 1916 – 24 May 1995) was a British politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom twice, from October 1964 to June 1970, and again from March 1974 to April 1976. He ...
. Maxwell was a Czech émigré, notably overweight and ebullient (also, a
cheque A cheque, or check (American English; see spelling differences) is a document that orders a bank (or credit union) to pay a specific amount of money from a person's account to the person in whose name the cheque has been issued. The pers ...
which is returned due to insufficient funds is said to have "bounced"). *
Elizabeth II Elizabeth II (Elizabeth Alexandra Mary; 21 April 1926 – 8 September 2022) was Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth realms from 6 February 1952 until her death in 2022. She was queen regnant of 32 sovereign states during ...
was regularly referred to as "Brenda" and
Charles III Charles III (Charles Philip Arthur George; born 14 November 1948) is King of the United Kingdom and the 14 other Commonwealth realms. He was the longest-serving heir apparent and Prince of Wales and, at age 73, became the oldest person to ...
as "Brian". Historically,
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, later Philip Mountbatten; 10 June 1921 – 9 April 2021) was the husband of Queen Elizabeth II. As such, he served as the consort of the British monarch from El ...
was "Keith", Princess Margaret (Brenda's younger sister) was "Yvonne", and Diana, Princess of Wales, was "Cheryl"a satire on the perceived nature of Royal affairs as a
soap opera A soap opera, or ''soap'' for short, is a typically long-running radio or television serial, frequently characterized by melodrama, ensemble casts, and sentimentality. The term "soap opera" originated from radio dramas originally being sponsored ...
. * From 1964 until his death,
Sir Alec Douglas-Home Alexander Frederick Douglas-Home, Baron Home of the Hirsel (; 2 July 1903 – 9 October 1995), styled as Lord Dunglass between 1918 and 1951 and being The 14th Earl of Home from 1951 till 1963, was a British Conservative Party (UK), Conse ...
was referred to as Baillie Vass, after his photograph was mistakenly captioned as such in the Aberdeen '' Evening Express''. *
Piers Morgan Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan (; né O'Meara; born 30 March 1965) is a British broadcaster, journalist, writer, and television personality. He began his Fleet Street career in 1988 at '' The Sun''. In 1994, aged 29, he was appointed editor of the ...
is referred to as Piers Moron (or Piers "Morgan" Moron).


Companies and organisations

*
Capita Capita plc, commonly known as Capita, is an international business process outsourcing and professional services company headquartered in London. It is the largest business process outsourcing and professional services company in the United K ...
, a long-term favourite target of ''Private Eye'', is frequently called "Crapita" and "the world's worst outsourcing firm". * The
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) is a department of His Majesty's Government responsible for environmental protection, food production and standards, agriculture, fisheries and rural communities in the United K ...
is usually called the "Department for the Elimination/Eradication of Farming and Rural Affairs"; its acronym DEFRA is usually spelt DEFRO (Death Row), and its former long-term minister
Margaret Beckett Dame Margaret Mary Beckett (''née'' Jackson; born 15 January 1943) is a British politician who has served as the Member of Parliament (MP) for Derby South since 1983. A member of the Labour Party, she became Britain's first female Foreign S ...
is still called
Rosa Klebb Rosa or De Rosa may refer to: People *Rosa (given name) * Rosa (surname) *Santa Rosa (female given name from Latin-a latinized variant of Rose) Places *223 Rosa, an asteroid *Rosa, Alabama, a town, United States * Rosa, Germany, in Thuringia, G ...
after the character in the
James Bond The ''James Bond'' series focuses on a fictional British Secret Service agent created in 1953 by writer Ian Fleming, who featured him in twelve novels and two short-story collections. Since Fleming's death in 1964, eight other authors have ...
film '' From Russia With Love''. Its forerunner, the
Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food An agriculture ministry (also called an) agriculture department, agriculture board, agriculture council, or agriculture agency, or ministry of rural development) is a ministry charged with agriculture. The ministry is often headed by a minister ...
(MAFF), was referred to as the "Maffia". *
FirstGroup FirstGroup plc is a British multi-national transport group, based in Aberdeen, Scotland.Serious Fraud Office is often the Serious Farce Office. * The Department of Trade and Industry was often the "Department of Timidity and Inaction". * The
Department for Transport The Department for Transport (DfT) is a department of His Majesty's Government responsible for the English transport network and a limited number of transport matters in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland that have not been devolved. The d ...
(DfT) is usually referred as "DafT". * The
Tony Blair Faith Foundation The Tony Blair Faith Foundation was an interfaith charitable foundation established in May 2008 by former British prime minister Tony Blair. Since December 2016 its work has been continued by the Tony Blair Institute for Global Change. Launch ...
was similarly known as ''Drawing All Faiths Together'', abbreviated to "Daft". * The defunct
Financial Services Authority The Financial Services Authority (FSA) was a quasi-judicial body accountable for the financial regulation, regulation of the financial services industry in the United Kingdom between 2001 and 2013. It was founded as the Securities and Investmen ...
(FSA), invariably referred to as "The Fundamentally Supine Authority" in reference to its reluctance to act and its seemingly close relationship with the industry it was supposed to regulate, often contrasting its performance with the swift and draconian methods of its
United States The United States of America (U.S.A. or USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country primarily located in North America. It consists of 50 states, a federal district, five major unincorporated territorie ...
counterparts. * The FSA's replacement body, the
Financial Conduct Authority The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) is a financial regulation, financial regulatory body in the United Kingdom, but operates independently of the UK Government, and is financed by charging fees to members of the financial services industry. The ...
, is usually referred to as the "Financial Cock-up Authority", or the "Fundamentally Complicit Authority"underlining that it appears to act in a manner little differently from its predecessor. *
Carter-Ruck Carter-Ruck is a British law firm founded by Peter Carter-Ruck. The firm specialises in libel, privacy, international law and commercial disputes. The leading legal directories (Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners) rank Carter-Ruck in the to ...
, a prominent firm specialising in libel cases, is almost always referred to as Carter-Fuck. * The city of
Brighton and Hove Brighton and Hove () is a city and unitary authority in East Sussex, England. It consists primarily of the settlements of Brighton and Hove, alongside neighbouring villages. Often referred to synonymously as Brighton, the City of Brighton and H ...
is often referred to as "
Skidrow A skid row or skid road is an impoverished area, typically urban, in English-speaking North America whose inhabitants are mostly poor people " on the skids". This specifically refers to poor or homeless, considered disreputable, downtrodden or fo ...
-on-Sea" in the "Rotten Boroughs" column. * The ''
Daily Telegraph Daily or The Daily may refer to: Journalism * Daily newspaper, newspaper issued on five to seven day of most weeks * ''The Daily'' (podcast), a podcast by ''The New York Times'' * ''The Daily'' (News Corporation), a defunct US-based iPad new ...
'' newspaper is usually referred to as the "Torygraph" because of its political leaning towards the
Conservative Party The Conservative Party is a name used by many political parties around the world. These political parties are generally right-wing though their exact ideologies can range from center-right to far-right. Political parties called The Conservative P ...
, and as the ''Daily Hellograph'' when satirising its coverage of celebrities. * ''
The Independent ''The Independent'' is a British online newspaper. It was established in 1986 as a national morning printed paper. Nicknamed the ''Indy'', it began as a broadsheet and changed to tabloid format in 2003. The last printed edition was publis ...
'' is frequently called "The Indescribablyboring". * ''
The Guardian ''The Guardian'' is a British daily newspaper. It was founded in 1821 as ''The Manchester Guardian'', and changed its name in 1959. Along with its sister papers ''The Observer'' and ''The Guardian Weekly'', ''The Guardian'' is part of the Gu ...
'' newspaper is generally referred to as " the grauniad", in reference to the paper's reputation for typographical errors and mistakes and its lower-case masthead logo. Former Editor
Alan Rusbridger Alan Charles Rusbridger (born 29 December 1953) is a British journalist, who was formerly editor-in-chief of ''The Guardian'' and then principal of Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford. Rusbridger became editor-in-chief of ''The Guardian'' in 1995, hav ...
is usually referred to as "Rubbisher". * ''
The Daily Express The ''Daily Express'' is a national daily United Kingdom middle-market newspaper printed in tabloid format. Published in London, it is the flagship of Express Newspapers, owned by publisher Reach plc. It was first published as a broadsheet i ...
'' newspaper has been lampooned as the ''Daily Getsworse''. In previous years, it was called the ''Daily Titsbychristmas'', referring to how it was increasingly copying the style of ''The Sun'', before Express Newspapers launched the down-market ''Daily Star'' in November 1978. Since the 2016 UK EU referendum, in which the ''Express'' supported Leave, it has also been dubbed ''The Daily Brexpress''. * ''
The Sunday Times ''The Sunday Times'' is a British newspaper whose circulation makes it the largest in Britain's quality press market category. It was founded in 1821 as ''The New Observer''. It is published by Times Newspapers Ltd, a subsidiary of News UK, whi ...
'' is called "The Sunset Times". * ''
Private Eye ''Private Eye'' is a British fortnightly satire, satirical and current affairs (news format), current affairs news magazine, founded in 1961. It is published in London and has been edited by Ian Hislop since 1986. The publication is widely r ...
'' also frequently referred to itself as "Etavirp Yee"an anagram. * ''
The Evening Standard The ''Evening Standard'', formerly ''The Standard'' (1827–1904), also known as the ''London Evening Standard'', is a local free daily newspaper in London, England, published Monday to Friday in tabloid format. In October 2009, after be ...
'' is called "The Evening Boris" for its support of
Boris Johnson Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (; born 19 June 1964) is a British politician, writer and journalist who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party from 2019 to 2022. He previously served as F ...
, particularly during his term as
Mayor of London The mayor of London is the chief executive of the Greater London Authority. The role was created in 2000 after the 1998 Greater London Authority referendum, Greater London devolution referendum in 1998, and was the first Directly elected may ...
; and possibly also in reference to the paper's Russian owners,
Alexander Lebedev Alexander Yevgenievich Lebedev ( rus, Александр Евгеньевич Лебедев, p=ɐlʲɪˈksandr jɪvˈɡʲenʲjɪvʲɪtɕ ˈlʲebʲɪdʲɪf; born 16 December 1959) is a Russian businessman, and has been referred to as one of t ...
and
Evgeny Lebedev Evgeny Alexandrovich Lebedev, Baron Lebedev ( rus, Евгений Александрович Лебедев, Evgeniy Aleksandrovich Lebedev, ; born 8 May 1980), is a Russian-British businessman, who owns Lebedev Holdings Ltd, which in turn own ...
.


Jibes aimed at individuals

* Historically the ''Eye'' has nicknamed many regular targets for satirical attack. Former Labour Prime Minister
Harold Wilson James Harold Wilson, Baron Wilson of Rievaulx, (11 March 1916 – 24 May 1995) was a British politician who served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom twice, from October 1964 to June 1970, and again from March 1974 to April 1976. He ...
was "Lord Gannex", a name mocking his close association with
Joseph Kagan Joseph Kagan, Baron Kagan (6 June 1915 – 18 January 1995) was a Lithuanian-British industrialist and the founder of Kagan Textiles, of Elland, which made raincoats from the waterproof Gannex fabric he had invented. Gannex raincoats were worn b ...
, founder of the Gannex raincoat, who received a knighthood and a peerage from Wilson. Wilson was also sometimes called "Wislon", a nickname later transferred to
A. N. Wilson Andrew Norman Wilson (born 27 October 1950)"A. N. Wilson"
''Encyclopædia Britannica''.
, a columnist and writer. TV and radio presenter Robert Robinson was "Smuggins", so-called because of a supposedly elevated, condescending air he brought to his programmes and because of his Oxbridge manner.
Harold Evans Sir Harold Matthew Evans (28 June 192823 September 2020) was a British-American journalist and writer. In his career in his native Britain, he was editor of ''The Sunday Times'' from 1967 to 1981, and its sister title ''The Times'' for a year f ...
, for many years editor of the ''
Sunday Times ''The Sunday Times'' is a British newspaper whose circulation makes it the largest in Britain's quality press market category. It was founded in 1821 as ''The New Observer''. It is published by Times Newspapers Ltd, a subsidiary of News UK, whi ...
'', was "Dame Harold Evans", perhaps because of his interview mannerisms, and presumably inspired by Dame
Edith Evans Dame Edith Mary Evans, (8 February 1888 – 14 October 1976) was an English actress. She was best known for her work on the stage, but also appeared in films at the beginning and towards the end of her career. Between 1964 and 1968, she was no ...
. Many others were to follow. * At one point the magazine printed many letters from a reader named "Ena B. Maxwell", of " Headington Hall,
Oxfordshire Oxfordshire is a ceremonial and non-metropolitan county in the north west of South East England. It is a mainly rural county, with its largest settlement being the city of Oxford. The county is a centre of research and development, primarily ...
", the real-life address of
Robert Maxwell Ian Robert Maxwell (born Ján Ludvík Hyman Binyamin Hoch; 10 June 1923 – 5 November 1991) was a Czechoslovak-born British media proprietor, member of parliament (MP), suspected spy, and fraudster. Early in his life, Maxwell escaped from N ...
. The letters were written by the ''Private Eye'' editorial team, and the pseudonym was attached to suggest that he was writing to the magazine under an assumed identity. The letters were careful not to make any legally actionable claims, instead containing material that was impertinent or absurd in order to ridicule Maxwell. "Ena" still makes occasional appearances in the letters column with varying surnames. Maxwell himself was "Cap'n Bob", a mocking reference to his ownership of a large yacht and regular appearances in a ship captain's cap, and to his former rank of
captain Captain is a title, an appellative for the commanding officer of a military unit; the supreme leader of a navy ship, merchant ship, aeroplane, spacecraft, or other vessel; or the commander of a port, fire or police department, election precinct, e ...
in the British Army. * Mary Ann Bighead, a parody of journalist
Mary Ann Sieghart Mary Ann Corinna Howard Sieghart (born 6 August 1961) is an England, English author, journalist, radio presenter and former assistant editor of ''The Times'', where she wrote columns about politics, social affairs and life in general. She has al ...
, often writes columns trumpeting her own brilliance and that of her daughters Brainella and Intelligencia. * A regular feature of the Letters page is "Photo Opportunity", where correspondents concoct spurious reasons for the magazine to print a particular 1995 photo of journalist
Andrew Neil Andrew Ferguson Neil (born 21 May 1949) is a Scottish former journalist and broadcaster who is chairman of ''The Spectator'' and presenter of '' The Andrew Neil Show'' on Channel 4. He was editor of ''The Sunday Times'' from 1983 to 1994. He f ...
embracing a young woman, often described as Asian or mistaken for former
Miss India Miss India may refer to: * Femina Miss India, the most prestigious and oldest surviving national beauty pageant in India that started in 1964. It sends its winner to Miss World. * Miss Diva, the national beauty pageant that sends its winners to Miss ...
Pamella Bordes Pamela Chaudry Singh (born 1961), known for some years as Pamella Bordes, is an Indian photographer and former Femina Miss India, Miss India. Personal life Singh was born in New Delhi in 1961; her father, Major Mahinder Singh Kadian, was an of ...
though she is in fact African American. On the photograph's initial printing, it was learned that Neil found the photograph embarrassing, and the ''Eye'' has reprinted it frequently since. Neil has described this as an example of "public school racism" on the part of the magazine's editorial staff, which he found "fascinating". The magazine nicknamed him Brillo, after his wiry hair which is seen as bearing a resemblance to a form of kitchen scouring pad. In addition, it often misspells his surname with an extra L, in reference to Neil's relationship with Pamella Bordes, whose name is written with two Ls. * "''(Shome mishtake, shurely? Ed)''" is supposedly a blue pencil by the editor, who is slurring a little after lunch. It may have allusions to the late
Bill Deedes William Francis Deedes, Baron Deedes, (1 June 1913 – 17 August 2007) was a British Conservative Party (UK), Conservative politician, army officer and journalist. He was the first person in Britain to have been both a member of the Cabinet and ...
(Lord Deedes), who did slur that way. He was also the eponymous "Dear Bill" that the fictional
Denis Thatcher Sir Denis Thatcher, 1st Baronet, (10 May 1915 – 26 June 2003) was an English businessman and the husband of Margaret Thatcher, who served as the first female British prime minister from 1979 to 1990; in turn, he became the first male prime m ...
was forever writing to while his wife
Margaret Margaret is a female first name, derived via French () and Latin () from grc, μαργαρίτης () meaning "pearl". The Greek is borrowed from Persian. Margaret has been an English name since the 11th century, and remained popular througho ...
was in government. These articles were actually written by John Wells. * "Dirty Des" is the nickname frequently used for former ''
Daily Express The ''Daily Express'' is a national daily United Kingdom middle-market newspaper printed in tabloid format. Published in London, it is the flagship of Express Newspapers, owned by publisher Reach plc. It was first published as a broadsheet i ...
'' and '' Daily Star'' proprietor
Richard Desmond Richard Clive Desmond (born 8 December 1951) is a British publisher, businessman and former pornographer. According to the 2021 ''Sunday Times Rich List'', Desmond was the 107th richest person in the United Kingdom. He is the founder of North ...
. Stories concerning goings on at Desmond's various publications are printed in most editions of the magazine, the nickname alluding to Desmond's ownership of several
pornographic Pornography (often shortened to porn or porno) is the portrayal of Human sexual activity, sexual subject matter for the exclusive purpose of sexual arousal. Primarily intended for adults,
magazine titles and television channels and the supposed contradiction between their content and the "family-orientated" content of his mainstream titles. * British entrepreneur
Richard Branson Sir Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 18 July 1950) is a British billionaire, entrepreneur, and business magnate. In the 1970s he founded the Virgin Group, which today controls more than 400 companies in various fields. Branson expressed ...
is referred to by the name "Beardie". * Media mogul
Rupert Murdoch Keith Rupert Murdoch ( ; born 11 March 1931) is an Australian-born American business magnate. Through his company News Corp, he is the owner of hundreds of local, national, and international publishing outlets around the world, including ...
gets referred to as the Dirty Digger. *
Evgeny Lebedev Evgeny Alexandrovich Lebedev, Baron Lebedev ( rus, Евгений Александрович Лебедев, Evgeniy Aleksandrovich Lebedev, ; born 8 May 1980), is a Russian-British businessman, who owns Lebedev Holdings Ltd, which in turn own ...
, who publishes ''
The Independent ''The Independent'' is a British online newspaper. It was established in 1986 as a national morning printed paper. Nicknamed the ''Indy'', it began as a broadsheet and changed to tabloid format in 2003. The last printed edition was publis ...
'' and ''
The Evening Standard The ''Evening Standard'', formerly ''The Standard'' (1827–1904), also known as the ''London Evening Standard'', is a local free daily newspaper in London, England, published Monday to Friday in tabloid format. In October 2009, after be ...
'', is frequently referred to as "Two Beards", in an "allusion to his closeted homosexualitythough one of his former employees suggests that he might not understand exactly what the name means." * Sarah Vain, a parody of journalist
Sarah Vine Sarah Rosemary Vine (born 16 April 1967) is a British columnist. She has written for the '' Daily Mail'' since 2013. She was previously arts editor at ''The Times''. She was previously married to Conservative MP Michael Gove. Early life Sara ...
, writes an egocentric column in which she often refers to the brilliance of her now ex-husband and his likely accession to the role of Prime Minister (Sarah Vine was married to
Michael Gove Michael Andrew Gove (; born Graeme Andrew Logan, 26 August 1967) is a British politician serving as Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities and Minister for Intergovernmental Relations since 2021. He has been Member of Parli ...
). * Former Conservative
Chancellor of the Exchequer The chancellor of the Exchequer, often abbreviated to chancellor, is a senior minister of the Crown within the Government of the United Kingdom, and head of His Majesty's Treasury. As one of the four Great Offices of State, the Chancellor is ...
George Osborne George Gideon Oliver Osborne (born Gideon Oliver Osborne; 23 May 1971) is a former British politician and newspaper editor who served as Chancellor of the Exchequer from 2010 to 2016 and as First Secretary of State from 2015 to 2016 in the ...
is generally called "Gideon" by the magazine. Osborne was indeed originally named "Gideon", but disliked the name and changed it to "George" as a young man.


Spurious surrealism

Towards the end of each issue, the magazine contains increasingly surreal jokes, references and parodies. Many of these have developed over time, and are thus now very familiar to long-term readers. * The magazine itself is frequently referred to as an "organ", in the sense of being a periodical publication, but also providing endless possibilities for sexual innuendo. * Numbered lists are usually shorter than stated and include two final entries of "Er..." and "That's it". * The number 94 is used as a generic large number, to indicate that something is lengthy and boring. This originated with some articles ending mid-sentence with "(continued page 94)"a page which does not exist, as the organ does not extend to such a length. This has since been expanded to anything else involving a number, e.g. "the awards ceremony, in its 94th year", or spoof transcripts of radio broadcasts which end with "(continued 94
MHz The hertz (symbol: Hz) is the unit of frequency in the International System of Units (SI), equivalent to one event (or cycle) per second. The hertz is an SI derived unit whose expression in terms of SI base units is s−1, meaning that one he ...
)". Readers' letters offering comment or corrections often begin "May I be the 94th reader to point out ...". * Phil Space is a fictional journalist. He "writes" articles mainly to fill space on the page, hence his nameand similarly Phil Pages, Phil Airtime (a radio news correspondent) and Philippa Column. The articles are rarely informative or useful and are often completely irrelevant. Such articles may include the byline, "From our correspondent Phil Space". A supposed continental counterpart, Monsieur Phil(-lippe) Espace, is sometimes mentioned when the story has an international background. * The regular ''Private Eye'' columnist Polly Filler is Phil's female counterpart. Her name refers to Polyfilla, a brand name of
spackling paste In the United States and various other countries, spackling paste or spackle is a putty used to fill holes, small cracks, and other minor surface defects in wood, drywall, and plaster. Typically, spackling is composed of gypsum plaster from h ...
used to fill in cracks and spaces. *
Trouser press ''Trouser Press'' was a rock and roll magazine started in New York in 1974 as a mimeographed fanzine by editor/publisher Ira Robbins, fellow fan of the Who Dave Schulps and Karen Rose under the name "Trans-Oceanic Trouser Press" (a reference to ...
es are another item commonly placed on lists or used in adverts, as an example of pointless extravagance or silly tat. * ''They Flew to Bruges'' is a fictitious war film that often appears in TV channel listings and reviews. The title refers to the hostility of Margaret Thatcher's later cabinets to the EU and their visits to Europe to argue for lower budgetary contributions by Britain. It is often used to mock the self-importance of anti-EU Tory MPs, particularly of the older school, like
William Cash Sir William Nigel Paul Cash (born 10 May 1940) is a British politician who has served as a Member of Parliament (MP) since 1984. A member of the Conservative Party, he was first elected for Stafford and then for Stone in Staffordshire in 1997 ...
. * Mr Madeupname. Sometimes used when referring to an improbable interviewee (often) in a tabloid newspaper article. * ''Grapefruit segments''once a pervasive and deliberately out-of-place component of lists (such as features on new cars), now seldom seen. * ''Australian'' appears as a colour option on various spoof ads as in "Available in Blue, Black or Australian". * ''The Sizzler''an alleged fried breakfast for sale at extortionate prices on any train journey mentioned. At the first mention of the Sizzler, the article in which it appeared would be sidelined into a recital of the item's deliciousness. * ''
The Grand Old Duke of York "The Grand Old Duke of York" (also sung as The Noble Duke of York) is an English children's nursery rhyme, often performed as an action song. The eponymous duke has been argued to be a number of the bearers of that title, particularly Prince Fre ...
'', based on a children's
nursery rhyme A nursery rhyme is a traditional poem or song for children in Britain and many other countries, but usage of the term dates only from the late 18th/early 19th century. The term Mother Goose rhymes is interchangeable with nursery rhymes. From t ...
, is used to parody current military news, such as cutbacks or scandals. For example, reports may appear that the Duke's 10,000 men are being reduced to 100 and will not be marching up any hills because they have no boots.


See also

*
Popular beat combo Popular beat combo, which originated as a synonym for "Pop music, pop group", is a phrase within British culture. It may also be used more specifically to refer to The Beatles, or other such purveyors of beat music. The phrase is frequently used i ...


References

{{Private Eye Private Eye
Private Eye ''Private Eye'' is a British fortnightly satire, satirical and current affairs (news format), current affairs news magazine, founded in 1961. It is published in London and has been edited by Ian Hislop since 1986. The publication is widely r ...
Private Eye ''Private Eye'' is a British fortnightly satire, satirical and current affairs (news format), current affairs news magazine, founded in 1961. It is published in London and has been edited by Ian Hislop since 1986. The publication is widely r ...
Private Eye ''Private Eye'' is a British fortnightly satire, satirical and current affairs (news format), current affairs news magazine, founded in 1961. It is published in London and has been edited by Ian Hislop since 1986. The publication is widely r ...