"Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal"
(a parody of the bestselling 1982 tongue-in-cheek book on stereotypes about masculinity ''
Real Men Don't Eat Quiche
''Real Men Don't Eat Quiche'' is a best-selling tongue-in-cheek book satirizing stereotypes of masculinity by the American screenwriter and humorist Bruce Feirstein, published in 1982 ().
The title alludes to the gender associations of quiche ...
'') is an essay about
computer programming
Computer programming is the process of performing a particular computation (or more generally, accomplishing a specific computing result), usually by designing and building an executable computer program. Programming involves tasks such as ana ...
written by Ed Post of
Tektronix, Inc.
Tektronix, Inc., historically widely known as Tek, is an American company best known for manufacturing test and measurement devices such as oscilloscopes, logic analyzers, and video and mobile test protocol equipment.
Originally an independent ...
, and published in July 1983 as a
letter to the editor
A letter to the editor (LTE) is a Letter (message), letter sent to a publication about an issue of concern to the reader. Usually, such letters are intended for publication. In many publications, letters to the editor may be sent either through ...
in ''
Datamation
''Datamation'' is a computer magazine that was published in print form in the United States between 1957 and 1998, ''.
[Volume 29 number 7]
History
Widely circulated on
Usenet
Usenet () is a worldwide distributed discussion system available on computers. It was developed from the general-purpose Unix-to-Unix Copy (UUCP) dial-up network architecture. Tom Truscott and Jim Ellis conceived the idea in 1979, and it was ...
in its day, and well known in the computer software industry,
the article compares and contrasts ''real programmers'', who use punch cards and write programs in
FORTRAN or
assembly language
In computer programming, assembly language (or assembler language, or symbolic machine code), often referred to simply as Assembly and commonly abbreviated as ASM or asm, is any low-level programming language with a very strong correspondence be ...
, with modern-day "quiche eaters" who use programming languages such as
Pascal
Pascal, Pascal's or PASCAL may refer to:
People and fictional characters
* Pascal (given name), including a list of people with the name
* Pascal (surname), including a list of people and fictional characters with the name
** Blaise Pascal, Fren ...
which support
structured programming
Structured programming is a programming paradigm aimed at improving the clarity, quality, and development time of a computer program by making extensive use of the structured control flow constructs of selection ( if/then/else) and repetition ( ...
and impose restrictions meant to prevent or minimize common
bugs due to inadvertent programming logic errors. Also mentioned are feats such as
the inventor
''The'' () is a grammatical article in English, denoting persons or things already mentioned, under discussion, implied or otherwise presumed familiar to listeners, readers, or speakers. It is the definite article in English. ''The'' is the ...
of the
Cray-1
The Cray-1 was a supercomputer designed, manufactured and marketed by Cray Research. Announced in 1975, the first Cray-1 system was installed at Los Alamos National Laboratory in 1976. Eventually, over 100 Cray-1s were sold, making it one of the ...
supercomputer toggling in
[''Toggling in'' refers to setting an array of ]toggle switch
In electrical engineering, a switch is an electrical component that can disconnect or connect the conducting path in an electrical circuit, interrupting the electric current or diverting it from one conductor to another. The most common type of ...
es or rocker switches which supplement program memory the first operating system for the
CDC 7600
The CDC 7600 was the Seymour Cray-designed successor to the CDC 6600, extending Control Data's dominance of the supercomputer field into the 1970s. The 7600 ran at 36.4 MHz (27.5 ns clock cycle) and had a 65 Kword primary memory (with a 6 ...
through the front panel without notes when it was first powered on.
The next year
Ed Nather’s ''
The Story of Mel
The Story of Mel is an archetypical piece of computer programming folklore. Its subject, Melvin Kaye, is an exemplary "Real Programmer" whose subtle techniques fascinate his colleagues.
Story
Ed Nather's ''The Story of Mel'' details the extraord ...
'', also known as ''The realest programmer of all'', extended the theme. Immortalized in the piece is Mel Kaye of the
Royal McBee
The Royal Typewriter Company is a manufacturer of typewriters founded in January 1904. It was headquartered in New York City with its factory in Hartford, Connecticut.
History
The Royal Typewriter Company was founded by Edward B. Hess and Lewis ...
Computer Corporation. As the story famously puts it, "He wrote in machine code—in 'raw, unadorned, inscrutable
hexadecimal
In mathematics and computing, the hexadecimal (also base-16 or simply hex) numeral system is a positional numeral system that represents numbers using a radix (base) of 16. Unlike the decimal system representing numbers using 10 symbols, hexa ...
numbers. Directly.'"
Since then, the
computer folklore
A computer is a machine that can be programmed to carry out sequences of arithmetic or logical operations ( computation) automatically. Modern digital electronic computers can perform generic sets of operations known as programs. These pr ...
term ''Real Programmer'' has come to describe the archetypical "hardcore" programmer who eschews the modern languages and tools of the day in favour of more direct and efficient solutions—
closer to the hardware.
[ The term is used in many subsequent articles, ]webcomic
Webcomics (also known as online comics or Internet comics) are comics published on a website or mobile app. While many are published exclusively on the web, others are also published in magazines, newspapers, or comic books.
Webcomics can be co ...
sREAL programmers
xkcd.com and in-jokes—although the alleged defining features of a "Real Programmer" differ with time and place.
See also
*
Pascal – early criticism
References
Notes
{{reflist, group=lower-alpha
External links
Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal (full original)
Computer folklore
Pascal (programming language)
1983 essays
1983 in computing
Parodies of literature