''Porterhouse Blue'' is a novel written by
Tom Sharpe
Thomas Ridley Sharpe (30 March 1928 – 6 June 2013) was an English satirical novelist, best known for his '' Wilt'' series, as well as ''Porterhouse Blue'' and ''Blott on the Landscape,'' all three of which were adapted for television.
Life ...
, first published in 1974. A satirical look at
Cambridge
Cambridge ( ) is a university city and the county town in Cambridgeshire, England. It is located on the River Cam approximately north of London. As of the 2021 United Kingdom census, the population of Cambridge was 145,700. Cambridge becam ...
life and the struggle between tradition and reform, ''Porterhouse Blue'' tells the story of
Skullion
Skullion is a central character in ''Porterhouse Blue'' (1974) and '' Grantchester Grind'' (1995), two novels about life in the fictitious Porterhouse College at Cambridge by British novelist Tom Sharpe. For centuries, Porterhouse College has be ...
, the Head
Porter of Porterhouse, a
fictional
Fiction is any creative work, chiefly any narrative work, portraying individuals, events, or places that are imaginary, or in ways that are imaginary. Fictional portrayals are thus inconsistent with history, fact, or plausibility. In a tradit ...
college of Cambridge University.
The novel has a sequel, ''
Grantchester Grind
''Grantchester Grind'' is a novel written by Tom Sharpe, a British novelist born in 1928 who was educated at Lancing College and then at Pembroke College, Cambridge.
Premise
''Grantchester Grind'' follows on from the story of the fictitious Por ...
''. In 1987,
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British free-to-air public broadcast television network operated by the state-owned Channel Four Television Corporation. It began its transmission on 2 November 1982 and was established to provide a fourth television service in ...
adapted ''Porterhouse Blue'' into a
TV series of the same name.
Characters
The central characters are
Skullion
Skullion is a central character in ''Porterhouse Blue'' (1974) and '' Grantchester Grind'' (1995), two novels about life in the fictitious Porterhouse College at Cambridge by British novelist Tom Sharpe. For centuries, Porterhouse College has be ...
, the Head Porter; Zipser, a
research graduate student;
Sir Godber Evans
Sir Godber Evans is a central character in ''Porterhouse Blue'' (1974) and, posthumously, '' Grantchester Grind'' (1995), two novels about life in the fictitious Porterhouse College at Cambridge by British novelist Tom Sharpe. For centuries, Po ...
, the Master; Lady Mary, the Master's wife; the Dean; and Mrs. Biggs, Zipser's
bedder
The term "bedder" is short for "bedmaker" and is the official term for a housekeeper in a college of the University of Cambridge. The equivalent at the University of Oxford is known as a "scout". The equivalent at Trinity College, Dublin was known ...
.
Plot
For the first time in five hundred years, the master of Porterhouse fails to name his successor on his deathbed before dying. He succumbs to a ''Porterhouse Blue'' - a
stroke brought about by overindulgence in the college's legendary
cuisine
A cuisine is a style of cooking characterized by distinctive ingredients, techniques and dishes, and usually associated with a specific culture or geographic region. Regional food preparation techniques, customs, and ingredients combine to ...
.
Sir Godber Evans
Sir Godber Evans is a central character in ''Porterhouse Blue'' (1974) and, posthumously, '' Grantchester Grind'' (1995), two novels about life in the fictitious Porterhouse College at Cambridge by British novelist Tom Sharpe. For centuries, Po ...
is appointed as his successor. Sir Godber, egged on by his zealous wife, Lady Mary, announces sweeping changes to the centuries of college tradition, much to the concern of Skullion and the
Fellows, who plan a
counter-attack
A counterattack is a tactic employed in response to an attack, with the term originating in "war games". The general objective is to negate or thwart the advantage gained by the enemy during attack, while the specific objectives typically seek ...
on the proposed
contraceptive machines, women students, and canteen.
Meanwhile, the only
research graduate student in the college, Zipser, visits the hard-of-hearing
Chaplain and explains his fixation for Mrs Biggs, his middle-aged, large-breasted
bedder
The term "bedder" is short for "bedmaker" and is the official term for a housekeeper in a college of the University of Cambridge. The equivalent at the University of Oxford is known as a "scout". The equivalent at Trinity College, Dublin was known ...
. As the Chaplain is hard of hearing he requires Zipser to use a
megaphone
A megaphone, speaking-trumpet, bullhorn, blowhorn, or loudhailer is usually a portable or hand-held, cone-shaped acoustic horn used to amplify a person's voice or other sounds and direct it in a given direction. The sound is introduced int ...
. To his intense embarrassment Zipser is overheard by members of the college who gather outside to listen. Mrs Biggs is not within earshot, but nevertheless has sensed that something is up from Zipser's awkward behaviour around her every time she comes to clean his room and especially when she teases him sexually, such as when she asks him to help take off her bright red PVC raincoat in the tight confines of the "gyp".
While Sir Godber congratulates himself on having defeated the traditionalists,
investigative journalist
Investigative journalism is a form of journalism in which reporters deeply investigate a single topic of interest, such as serious crimes, political corruption, or corporate wrongdoing. An investigative journalist may spend months or years rese ...
Cornelius Carrington is brought in on the pretext of helping both parties, while secretly having his own agenda.
Meanwhile, having been advised to pick up a foreign student, so as to avoid his lust for Mrs Biggs, after a series of frustrating attempts to buy condoms Zipser drunkenly acquires two large boxes. Concerned that he has technically stolen them, he tries many ways to get rid of them and eventually inflates them with
gas
Gas is one of the four fundamental states of matter (the others being solid, liquid, and plasma).
A pure gas may be made up of individual atoms (e.g. a noble gas like neon), elemental molecules made from one type of atom (e.g. oxygen), or ...
from the
gas fire
A gas heater is a space heater used to heat a room or outdoor area by burning natural gas, liquefied petroleum gas, propane or butane.
Indoor household gas heaters can be broadly categorized in one of two ways: ''flued'' or ''non-flued,'' or '' ...
in his room and floats them up the
chimney
A chimney is an architectural ventilation structure made of masonry, clay or metal that isolates hot toxic exhaust gases or smoke produced by a boiler, stove, furnace, incinerator, or fireplace from human living areas. Chimneys are t ...
, without realising that some have become stuck in the chimney while the rest have floated down into the college court. Fearing for the good name of college, Skullion spends the night bursting the inflated condoms.
Mrs Biggs has decided to reciprocate Zipser's passion, and sneaks up to Zipser's room in the middle of the night and wakes him up. To his amazement she undresses and, despite his protests, promptly enters his bed and
lies on top of him. Unfortunately, while undressing, she has lit the gas fire, which takes a short while to ignite the inflated condoms stuck in the chimney, causing an explosion that demolishes the Bull Tower and kills her and Zipser in their moment of passion.
Skullion refuses to open the main gates of college to let the
fire engines in and continues to burst the inflated condoms; partly as a consequence he is fired. However, when he visits his bank he discovers his nest egg of shares inherited from a previous master is worth a fortune. He takes his revenge by giving a shocking revelatory interview on Carrington's
live television show. Skullion pleads with Sir Godber to be reinstated, but is refused so, in anger, he pushes Sir Godber, causing him to fall and sustain a mortal injury. Skullion quickly leaves before two senior
academics
An academy (Attic Greek: Ἀκαδήμεια; Koine Greek Ἀκαδημία) is an institution of secondary or tertiary higher learning (and generally also research or honorary membership). The name traces back to Plato's school of philosophy, f ...
find the dying Sir Godber who whispers them one word: 'Skullion'. They agree that, in accordance with college
tradition, Skullion has been named the new Master of Porterhouse.
When Skullion is visited by the college officials with the good news, he thinks they have found out his involvement with Sir Godber's death and whilst they are telling him about his great promotion it causes in him a debilitating ''Porterhouse Blue'', and he suffers paralysis. Nonetheless, he is installed as the Master and his shares are sold for rebuilding the Bull Tower, so Porterhouse's traditions are firmly re-established.
Adaptations
TV mini-series
Audio books
There have also been two audio book versions;
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See also
*
Tom Sharpe
Thomas Ridley Sharpe (30 March 1928 – 6 June 2013) was an English satirical novelist, best known for his '' Wilt'' series, as well as ''Porterhouse Blue'' and ''Blott on the Landscape,'' all three of which were adapted for television.
Life ...
* ''
Grantchester Grind
''Grantchester Grind'' is a novel written by Tom Sharpe, a British novelist born in 1928 who was educated at Lancing College and then at Pembroke College, Cambridge.
Premise
''Grantchester Grind'' follows on from the story of the fictitious Por ...
''
*
List of fictional Cambridge colleges
References
External links
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* A list of book editions.
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{{Tom Sharpe
1974 British novels
British comedy novels
British novels adapted into television shows
Novels by Tom Sharpe
Novels set in University of Cambridge
Secker & Warburg books